Young as she was, Taur K’aut’sha, was an enigma, wrapped up in a mystery, and obscured by the impossible.
“Maya,” she said with a formal bow, “I am pleased to meet you. The Captain and Zara have told me a great deal about you.” This was another surprise. Maya’s ears had detected a slight, but unmistakable Zommerlaandar accent.
How in the Lady’s name had she ever picked up that? she wondered. She didn’t ask however, and Taur K’aut’sha didn’t enlighten her.
“Jeena came on right after you went off to Nyx.” Bel Lissa explained. “The Agency sent her to us. She was with the Charlotte Badger as an Engineer’s Mate, and she’s been doing the same job here ever since.”
Maya immediately felt a surge of jealousy. Engineer’s Mate had been her old post, and emotionally, she had never fully relinquished it, or the notion of the JUDI being her ship. She quickly suppressed this unworthy response however. Based on her Daughter’s earring and Bel Lissa’s word, Taur K’aut’sha was a veteran nulltrekker, and had all the qualifications that the JUDI required, and then some.
And they had needed someone after she’d gone off to Nyx to study with Lady Ananzi. There were simply too many odd jobs for one woman to do, even aboard a small ship like the JUDI. More importantly, as a helmswoman–in-training, Maya was now higher in rank than Taur K’aut’sha.
“Enshon,” she answered politely, giving Taur K’aut’sha an equally gracious bow.
“You’ll be hot-bunking with Jeena,” Bel Lissa told her.
“Sure thing”, Maya agreed.
Taur K’aut’sha picked up one of her bags and beckoned her to follow. “Come on, I’ll show you where you can stow your gear.”
As she moved to follow, Maya became acutely aware of the tension radiating from Sarah. The woman was tightly shielding her thoughts, making it impossible to read her, but her agitation was still palpable.
Something about Taur K’aut’sha was bothering Sarah, and as Maya focused her own talents on the woman, she realized that there did seem to be something ‘off’ about her energy. It was at once, oddly familiar, and at the same time, utterly elusive. Taur K’aut’sha was ‘different’ in more than just her appearance, but Maya couldn’t quantify what it was that set her so apart.
“Go ahead, Maya,” Sarah said tightly. “I need to speak with the Captain about something. I will meet you up on the bridge.” Maya immediately suspected that it had something to do with their new Engineer’s Mate, but she refrained from asking any questions. The JUDI was a small ship, and she would find out soon enough.
Instead, she went with Taur K’aut’sha through the cargo hold and into the ship proper. They stopped in the tiny crew’s quarters; the same space where Maya had once hidden herself when she had been running for her life. Back then, it had been her prison, and a place of terror. Now, it was a friendly and familiar place.
She saw that a new touch had been added in her absence; a set of lockers had been embedded into the bulkhead. The last time she had been there, the wall had been bare.
Taur K’aut’sha indicated one of the compartments. “I cleared out my stuff from this locker so that you’d have a place for your gear.”
Opening it, Maya smiled. There were two fresh coveralls inside. They were sky-blue and emblazoned with the JUDI’s patch. And over the right pocket, was her name.
Taur K’aut’sha stood aside, and Maya reached in to caress one of the garments.
“An di,” she replied, finally deciding to befriend the woman. She had been reading Taur K’aut’sha’s aura all the way there, and she hadn’t sensed anything but friendliness. No competitiveness, or guile. Just an acceptance of Maya as a part of the JUDI’s little family. That, and the weird ‘difference’ that she still couldn’t place.
When Taur K’aut’sha left her alone to stow her things, Maya determined to ask Bel Lissa about the strange young woman, later, and in complete confidence of course. There were simply too many questions about Taur K’aut’sha to leave unanswered.
First though, there was the transit to worry about. Her first transit as a Helmswoman. Equally nervous and excited, she quickly changed out of her civilian clothing into one of the jumpsuits, and headed for the bridge.
On the way, she was unable to avoid passing Sarah’s quarters, or overhearing the argument going on inside of it. Although their words were muffled by the door, she could tell that Sarah was deeply upset and that Bel Lissa was standing firm about something. She was tempted to press her ear to it, and listen in, but then she heard their footfalls, and made for the ladder to the bridge instead.
As she reached it, they came out together. Both of them wore unhappy expressions, but Bel Lissa brightened when she saw her. “Time to take the Helm, Maya,” she said, urging her to climb.
“Yes,” Sarah added with a forced smile. She paused, and looked back over her shoulder to Bel Lissa. “You know that this isn’t over.”
“Like I told you, it’s not my call, Sarah, “Bel Lissa insisted, and for a moment, Maya was convinced that whatever they had been fighting over in private, was about to become very public.
Sarah bit back whatever reply she had been about to make though. “Go ahead, Maya,” she said. “We have a transit to make.”
At the top, Zara and Taur K’aut’sha were already waiting at their stations, and Zara gestured elaborately for her to take her seat at the Helmswoman’s station. “Time to guide us through the Null, oh great Helmswoman.”
Maya flashed her a nervous, crooked smile and took her place. Then Sarah joined her, taking her place in the extra swing-out seat. She flashed the Engineer’s Mate a strange, and unpleasant look, but Jeena seemed unperturbed, and simply began working at the Engineer’s station as if nothing untoward had taken place at all.
Putting Sarah’s eccentricities and Jeena out of mind, Maya looked over her controls. She had been through dozens of simulations, and she was fairly certain that she was ready for whatever the situation might throw at her. But the real proof would come with the transit itself. She wasn’t afraid to admit, to herself at least, that she was feeling very nervous.
Sensing this, Sarah placed a surprisingly gentle hand on her shoulder. You are ready, Maya, she thought to her. Trust in yourself.
Maya nodded solemnly, and collected herself.
The tower had cleared them by this point, and Bel Lissa took the JUDI up, ascending quickly. When they cleared the atmosphere, she brought them around to fall in line behind the CSS Echephyle and her small convoy of merchanters. As always, they were using the escort ship as camouflage, and only a few minutes later, the Echephyle obliged them by leading the convoy through a short transit into the Kaidis system.
Places like Kaidis were valuable for ships like the JUDI; they were a legitimate travel destination, and thanks to a few well-placed bribes, they offered Null-capable vessels the chance to slip away to their real ports of call, without leaving behind any bothersome departure records.
The moment that it was confirmed that the In-system Traffic Control’s electronic eyes were ignoring them, Bel Lissa signaled to Maya. It was time to begin the transit.
She began by bringing up the astrographic projection that corresponded to their destination. This was the Myrene System in the Thalestris Elant. The JUDI’s computer had placed the holographic stars in exactly the positions they would be in at the time and place calculated for the end of their transit. Satisfied with the data she was looking at, Maya took the next step in the process.
Just as she had so many times before in Lady Ananzi’s kitchen, she quieted all of her extraneous thoughts, and focused on memorizing each and every major star, and its relationship to the others. When she felt that she had them all, she looked away from the holo and drew an image on the elzlate pad she had brought up with her. It was something that she had always done to check herself, and now, more than ever, she needed to be absolutely certain that her mental image was true to the reality.
Checking her sketch against the holographic
projection, she found a few small errors, and with a self-deprecating frown, she studied the image a second time before creating another sketch. This time, everything was perfect; all of the stellar bodies were present and in the correct positions. Even so, Sarah leaned in and inspected her work, and privately, Maya was glad for the second opinion.
“You are ready to proceed, Maya,” the woman announced.
Maya knew that she was right. For better or worse, she was as prepared as anyone in her position could ever be. During her time on Nyx, she had practiced cutting hundreds of simulated Null gates until the process had become almost second nature.
It was a far different thing to be sitting at the helm of a real spaceship however, with real consequences if she made a mistake. If there was any error in her visualization, the JUDI could wind up hundreds of light years off course, they could come out of their transit inside of a star, or suffer any number of equally horrible fates.
But Maya also knew that she couldn’t afford to let her anxiety overwhelm her. Success hinged on a calm, resolute focus and absolute mental precision. Calling upon all the disciplines she had learned, she subdued her anxiety and concentrated on keeping her inner vision sharp and clear. “Astrographic visualization complete,” she finally announced.
Bel Lissa acknowledged her. “Routing power from the main generators to the Pavilitas. Null wings extended.”
Zara spoke next, “Routing power to the Pavilita generators.”
The pitch of the engines changed dramatically as the JUDI’s Engineer sent the command, and a low thrumming began to resonate through the frame of the ship, pregnant with the power that was building up in the vessels’ twin psionic generators. Deep inside the vessel, the energy from the engines was transformed into something far purer and more intense than anything that the merchanter required for simple in-system travel. Routed through the Pavilita’s, its fires built up and burned like the Djinn on the very day of creation itself, waiting only for Mayas direction to assume their final shape.
She went deeper into herself, sinking into a trance state that hovered somewhere between waking and dreaming. Then she reached out through her oversized psiever headset with her mind, and extended her senses into the ship around her. Suddenly she was in two places at once; within the confines of her body and also part of the JUDI itself.
Her senses came alive as her awareness integrated with the JUDI’s intricate network of circuits. Now she saw what the ship saw--a universe of light, energy, and sound that her human eyes and ears were blind and deaf to. The stars around her blazed with X-Ray light, singing to her in choruses of pure radio noise, and the solar tide had become a palpable thing, caressing her titanium skin.
In the simulations, this had always been the most wonderful part of the process, the point when she was able to feel a small, ecstatic slice of what those who chose to be Translated experienced. It had also been the hardest part for her to maintain her focus in.
Now this was doubled. The temptation to remain there, joined forever with the ship as a being of both nerve and circuit, was almost too powerful and seductive to overcome.
Sarah quietly asserted herself.
Yes, Maya, she thought, I understand your longing and I know what you are feeling right now. It is something special that only those of us who call ourselves Helmswomen can ever experience. Only the Translated know any greater ecstasy. But we have our work to do. Focus on the transit. Let go of the bliss. Focus your will.
Sarah’s words brought Maya back from the brink. She was right, and for once, Maya was glad for her presence. As wonderful as her link with the JUDI was, there was a Null gate to be cut. She set aside her ecstasy and sought out the collector wings.
“I am ready,” she heard herself saying from an impossible distance.
“Routing power to the collector wings,” Zara answered. The elemental energies within the psionic generators had reached their peak, and at the Engineer’s direction, they discharged, flooding into the wings.
Maya reached out to them with her mind, visualizing herself grabbing ahold of the powerful tide with astral hands. Right away, the roiling maelstrom responded to her psychic touch like a living thing.
“Desire is the key to creating the gateway,” Lady Ananzi had once told her, “A pure desire that accepts no limitation, or boundary. It is the focused Will, armored by absolute belief, which gives the Fire its form, completing and transforming it. Once it has been shaped by the Will, it can open up the doorway to anything.”
She hadn’t understood this statement when she had first heard it, but after having spent months on exercises intended to focus and refine her psychic intention, and then the Null simulations themselves, it had become crucial to her success. Without a clear goal, the energy in the collector wings would remain nothing but chaos.
It needed direction to become coherent. It needed a conscious vision, fueled by pure desire. Her vision. Her desire.
Maintaining her contact, she called up her memory of the stars that she had just seen. Then she imagined the fires shifting and changing in response, until they mirrored her imagery perfectly, not as a hologram, but as a real place.
This IS what I want, she thought. This place IS where I will go. No limitations or boundaries exist between where I am now and this place. NONE.
Unable to resist, the fires responded in kind, becoming a blazing mirror of her vision. Now, all that was required to make it reality was the act of release.
In the eternity of this moment, Maya found herself wondering, as she often had, if what she was feeling was anything like what the Goddess herself felt when she repeatedly made and unmade the multiverse--only on a much smaller, mortal scale. If so, then it was an utterly glorious state of being.
Once again, Sarah brought her back to the task at hand. Maya, remember your purpose. The energy is ready to be released.
The young woman abandoned her reverie and sent another signal to Bel Lissa through her psiever. At the same time, Sarah spoke aloud for her.
“Now Inish! She’s done it.”
“Boosting signal,” Bel Lissa replied. Even more energy was fed into the collector wings.
Yes! Maya thought. More than anything, she wanted to see her creation let loose on the universe before her. To watch it cut into and through it, shoving aside the feeble limitations of distance and time. To feel it touch the place that she saw in her mind, and link with it.
“Now!” she exclaimed.
Zara obliged her. “Discharging,” she announced. “Cutting the gate.”
Fire raced down the side of the ship, more powerful than any earthly lightening had ever aspired to be. When it reached the forward wing set, it compressed and jumped free of the ship in two perfect, cerulean beams. Far ahead of the JUDI, they met and combined.
The fragile essence of space, more a thing of time than any real material substance, could not withstand the assault and ripped wide open. With nothing to hold it back, the unbridled energy poured into the temporal wound.
A hole appeared, and then the mists of Nullspace became visible within it, swirling on the sitscreens with a deceptive, enticing beauty. Beyond this, and at the other end of the passage that Maya had just created for them, their destination awaited.
Exhausted by her ordeal, Maya slumped in her chair, covered in sweat. She wanted to collapse then and there, but there was one final thing that needed to be done to complete the ritual of officially becoming a Helmswoman. As weary as she was, she summoned up the last of her reserves, and took control of the ship’s helm.
“I’m taking her in,” she announced. She glanced at Zara, “Engage thrusters. All ahead, one half.”
“The JUDI’s all yours Maya,” Bel Lissa told her. Gradually, and then with increasing speed, the little merchanter headed for the gate.
Sarah waited until they had crossed the boundary, and were well into Null, before she interrupted Maya once again.
I am pleased with you, she thought. Well done, my young lioness. Very
well done. Now, I will take the helm and you will rest a bit. We have a long transit ahead of us.
Maya didn’t argue, and left her station to revive herself with some kaafra and a quick snack in the JUDI’s galley.
I did it, she thought happily. I cut my first gate! I’m a Helmswoman now!
***
As the mists cleared, and the velvety blackness of normal space reappeared, Bel Lissa clasped her hands behind her head and leaned back in her chair with a triumphant smile.
“Well, that’s that then. Congratulations, Maya!”
Then Maya felt a tap on her shoulder. It was Sarah. She was also smiling, and holding something in her hand. It was a name-tape with the word “Helmswoman” embroidered on it.
Maya realized that Sarah had had it made in anticipation of a successful transit, and she took it from her, more touched than she ever would have admitted to anyone, especially her. “Thank you,” she said quietly.
“I think this calls for a celebration,” Zara suggested with a broad grin.
“Aye-ya. Drinks on me when we get downside,” Bel Lissa agreed. “It’s always left up to the poor penniless old Captain to treat the new Helmie.”
“That is only right and fitting,” Sarah pronounced. “Tradition must be adhered to, after all. So, Jackies then? I know that it is not the Nulltrekker, but they still serve a fine selection that is quite worthy of such an important celebration.”
She flashed Taur K’aut’sha a pointed look, and added, “Jeena can watch over the ship while we are gone.” Taur K’aut’sha did not react to this obvious snub, but only acquiesced with a quiet nod.
More mystery, Maya thought, both puzzled and unhappy. When the crew went out to drink together, everyone was invited to come along and she couldn’t see any reason why Taur K’aut’sha had been excluded. Or for that matter, why she had just accepted the insult.
Sisterhood of Suns: Daughters of Eve Page 30