by S. M. Shade
The burger place is still open on my way home, so I walk through my door with a greasy bag of food and flip on the TV for company. Leah will most likely be home soon and I still have no idea what to say to her.
My phone beeps again with a text from Dare.
Dare: Leah is spending the night with us.
I must read the message ten times, trying to find some meaning between the lines. Is she avoiding me? Is she hurt? Pissed? Is Dare suspicious? I can’t deal with the suspense anymore so I text back.
Me: Everything okay?
Dare: No, I have a house full of women watching sappy love movies. Send help.
Me: You’re on your own, buddy.
Dare complains, but I know he wouldn’t trade his life with Ayda and little Ollie for anything.
There was a time when I dreamed of the same thing.
Chapter Seven
Leah
“Oh! I can’t say that!” Ayda’s friend Sunny exclaims, dissolving into giggles. Justus brought over a card game that is all kinds of wrong, but horribly funny. It’s kind of like dirty Mad Libs, but you have to choose from the cards in your hand to fill in the raunchy sentences. It has everyone cracking up.
I’m laughing with the girls and having a good time, but Tucker is never far from my mind. That kiss was amazing, but he obviously regretted it immediately since he ran away like I tried to poison him with my tongue. He was drunk, so I’m just chalking it up to that. Hell, we were both drunk. I’m willing to pretend it never happened if he will.
I still hate the fact that he’s alone tonight, though, because his claim of visiting family is clearly untrue. I’ve never even heard him mention any family before, and he refused to answer when I asked about them. The man is one big broody riddle.
I realize I’m not really listening to the conversation going on around me until I hear Sadie say, “That’s because you were trying to hump me in my sleep!”
“Hey, surprise morning sex is the best way to wake up,” Justus argues, resting his hands on Sadie’s shoulders as he stands behind her chair.
“Not if you’re in prison,” Landon jokes, and everyone laughs.
“True,” Justus agrees, then turns to Derek. “Anything you want to tell us, buddy?”
“Wouldn’t you like to make it through just one holiday without me beating your ass?” Derek replies.
“It’s not Thanksgiving until Dare tries to pull him apart like a wishbone,” Zoe points out.
Justus reaches down and runs a hand over Sadie’s breast. “Come on Sadist. Let’s get you home so I can treat you like my big toe and bang you on all the furniture.”
Sadie slaps at him as he paws her. “After the game!”
“You’re welcome to spend the night as well,” Derek offers.
“Ah!” Justus pretends to be offended. He grabs the uncooked turkey neck—that he spent a good ten minutes shaking at us like a penis earlier—and throws it at Derek. “Cockblocker! And on the Lord’s day!”
Hannah, Justus’s sister bursts out laughing. “That’s Sunday, not Thanksgiving.”
Justus is too busy running from Derek to hear her response though.
“Idiots,” Jeremy scoffs, cracking a smile.
“Speaking of idiots, what’s going on with you and Frannie?” Zoe asks.
“She’s visiting family,” he replies, flipping her off. Frannie is Zoe’s best friend and she’s determined to see Jeremy and Frannie work out their shit.
I love how these people are with each other, the way we all seem to fit together like some puzzle that was scattered to the wind only to have the pieces find their way back together. Everyone here has had some kind of trauma or heartbreak in their lives and they’ve done the best they can with it, creating as much good as possible. They’ve created this makeshift family with little shared blood, but one heart.
Tucker should be here. He doesn’t know what he’s missing out on.
Ayda practically begged me to stay the night and I’m a little relieved I don’t have to face Tucker tonight, even though I feel bad that he’s alone. After the card game, we watch a couple of romantic comedies, then everyone leaves or heads to bed, and I retire to my old bedroom to argue with myself whether to text Tucker or not.
Screw it, I need to know he’s okay.
Me: Dare put Justus in an arm bar and made him tap out. You missed it.
Tucker: It’s bound to happen again. Are you okay?
I know the meaning behind those words. He’s worried about my reaction. Considering he kissed me then ran away, he should be.
Me: I’m fine. I had fun. Be home tomorrow.
I look at the text before I send it and reluctantly change the word “home” to “back.” I don’t want him to read too much into it. Besides, it isn’t home. I don’t really know where home is anymore.
Ayda and I go out for breakfast Friday morning before I head back to Tucker’s. “You know that Dare would get over it if you and Tucker end up seeing each other, don’t you?” Ayda asks, catching me by surprise.
“I-it’s not like that.”
Ayda rolls her eyes. “Please, you’re a million miles away and you talk about him in random conversations. You’re clearly crazy about him.”
Sighing, I set down my fork. “Oh god. Who else do you think noticed?”
“None of the guys,” she assures me. “But if it’s Dare you’re worried about…”
“No…well, it’s not just him. Tucker doesn’t want me like that. I thought maybe he did, but I was wrong.”
Ayda sits back and stares at me. “What happened?”
I pick up a paper napkin, fiddling with it. “Just between us?”
“Of course.”
“We got drunk Wednesday night, and he kissed me.”
“And?”
“And then he freaked out, ran off to his room, and didn’t come back out.”
Ayda bursts into laughter. “I’m sorry. I know it’s not funny. It’s just…I’ve known Tucker for a while, and he’s always so stoic and intimidating. I can’t picture him losing his shit over a kiss. You must be driving him crazy in the best way.”
The napkin is now in tatters between my fingers. “I’m sure I drive him crazy, but not in any good way.”
“Are you kidding? I’ve seen how he looks at you. He’s got a beautiful girl living with him and it’s killing him to keep his hands off. I love it.”
The waitress shows up to collect our dishes and we hand them over. “Trust me. It isn’t like that. He regretted that kiss the second it was over.”
Ayda contemplates it for a moment. “I’ve always thought there was something eating at him that he isn’t willing to share. He’s always so guarded and quiet. Does he talk to you, or are you just living with grunts and nods.”
Now that I think about it, he talks to me a lot. Far more than the first few weeks I lived there. “We talk. Mostly in the evenings or when we run.”
Ayda grins. “You run together?”
“Yeah, he seems to think I’ll get kidnapped if I run in the woods alone.”
“Of course he does.” Ayda chuckles and drops a tip on the table, getting to her feet.
“Seriously, that’s all it is. Besides, I think he might be seeing someone. He’s gone all day on Saturdays. Although, if that’s what he’s doing, she must piss him off, because he’s always in a terrible mood when he returns.”
“Hmm, I doubt it’s about a woman. I’ve never seen him date anyone. I know Dare and the others think he may be in the closet.”
I nearly trip over my own feet and laugh aloud. He was definitely into the kiss, hell, he practically mauled me, so I know he’s into women. I guess he could be bi, but it just doesn’t seem to fit with what I know about him.
“They think he’s gay?”
Ayda unlocks her car that’s parked beside mine. “They’ve suspected in the past. None of the guys care one way or the other, so it’s not like they’d ask.”
“Well, the kiss was very heterosexua
l,” I reply, and Ayda laughs. I can’t help but picture Tucker kissing a guy though, and I’m surprised to find the thought turns me on. I might be a little freaky.
“You want my advice? If you want him, go for it. I doubt he’d be able to resist. Dare and I wasted too much time skirting around what we really wanted. When we finally got together, I could’ve kicked myself for resisting.” Her hand unconsciously travels to her scarred cheek.
She bears scars down one half of her body from her asshole ex throwing acid on her. I could understand why she thought Derek wouldn’t want her, but she was so wrong. Ayda is beautiful and one of the best people I’ve ever met.
“You two are perfect together. It’s a little sickening.”
“I know,” she laughs, climbing in her car. “Now go home and show no mercy. Walk around the house in your panties.”
Tucker’s truck is parked in the drive when I get home and I take a deep breath, prepared to talk to him about our little drunken mishap.
“Hey, kid, have fun?” Tucker calls from his workshop when I hop out of my car.
“Yeah. Ayda sent me home with enough leftovers to feed an elephant,” I reply.
“Sounds good.”
He returns to the workshop, and I head inside. Well, that was anti-climactic. I guess we’re going to pretend nothing happened, then. I don’t know whether I feel disappointed or relieved. A little of both, I guess.
I was hoping that things wouldn’t be awkward, but our dinner that night definitely qualifies. He eats as quickly as humanly possible and retreats back into his workshop until after I return to my room.
The next week passes in much the same way. He’s not mean, but he’s not interested in being around me. After a particularly quiet and tense run, I stop joining him in the evenings. I hate running when it’s cold anyway. I suppose I should look for a gym in town, but for now, I just settle for doing a workout video while he’s out running.
I try not to take it personally, but I can’t help but feel hurt. I miss hanging out with him, especially in the evenings. I’ve started going to my room early so he can watch TV in the living room without me bothering him. It’s hard to live somewhere you know you aren’t wanted.
On the plus side, my mood seems to be working for the book I’m writing. It’s taken an angsty turn, but the story is coming together. Unlike me though, my character will get her happily ever after.
* * * *
The sky is heavy with dark clouds, a warning of the storm we have coming tonight. Derek is his usual worrywart self, trying to talk me into coming to stay with him in case the power goes out. Like I’ll be any warmer with no electricity if he’s there. I shouldn’t have answered the phone, but I knew he’d just keep calling.
“Yeah, Tucker’s just pulling in,” I reassure him. “It’s just a little ice. We’ll be fine.”
Tucker walks through the back door and grabs a flashlight. Without looking up he says, “I need to get the animals ready for the storm.”
“I’ll help you,” I volunteer. “Derek, we’re good, I swear. I’ve got to go.” I hit the end button before he can argue with me, and grab my coat.
Tucker’s phone buzzes as we make our way across the yard toward the barn. “If you’ll feed the goats, I’ll hook up the heaters,” he tells me before answering.
We split up, but while I’m feeding and watering the temperamental goats, I can hear him on the phone. “Yeah, got gasoline for the generators and plenty of firewood. I’ve got her, man. Stop with the nervous old lady act.”
Damn it, Derek. I hear him laugh and a few more mumbles before it gets quiet again. I can feel the evil goat standing behind me, and this time I move quick enough not to get knocked down.
“Ha! Fuck you, Negan. Not this time!” I close the gate behind me and look up into Tucker’s face.
A rare grin tilts his lips. God, I love it when he smiles. “What did you call him?”
“Negan, you know, the evil guy from The Walking Dead? That goat is evil. He charges me every time I’m not paying attention.”
“I know who he is.”
“It’s Ayda and Dare’s favorite show and they turned me onto it.”
He shakes his head, amused. “He doesn’t do that to me. What did you do to piss him off?”
“Nothing! Of course he doesn’t attack you. You’re intimidating.”
The words jump out before I can think about them, and his eyebrows reach for the sky. “I’m intimidating?”
Returning the container I was using to the feed bin, I babble, “Not to me, to a goat. I mean, I’m not intimidated, but he’s small and you’re not and…” My voice falls off as I realize I’m making an idiot of myself. “Yeah, what else needs done?”
“Nothing. Animals are fed, heaters are running. Let’s go inside.”
Tucker heads upstairs to take a shower as usual, and I busy myself turning off the crock pot and spooning out bowls of beef stew. By the time he returns, I’m pulling fresh rolls from the oven.
“Smells good, thanks,” he grunts, grabbing his food and heading to the living room. Rather than eat alone, I follow.
The nightly news is on and the main story is the storm bearing down on us. They can’t seem to decide whether we’re getting a foot of snow or a little freezing rain.
“Stores were wiped out when I stopped for a bag of potatoes earlier,” I remark.
“People always freak out and buy up all the bread, milk and eggs when snow is coming.”
Swallowing my bread, I pull my legs up under me on the couch. “It’s weird. Like everyone has to have French toast during a snowstorm.”
Tucker laughs. It’s a genuine laugh unlike his usual chuckle, and the sound is amazing; deep and smooth.
“Do you prepare like this every time there’s a storm?” I ask, curious. He has generators ready to go.
“I don’t usually worry too much about it.” He shrugs.
“But you’re worried this time?”
“I never had a friend’s crazy little sister living with me before.”
Flashing him a smile, I get up to take my bowl to the kitchen. “Yeah, but I’m growing on you,” I tease, leaving him staring after me.
I hate that little sister shit. When I look at him, I can’t help the thoughts that burst through my head. Any woman would have completely impure thoughts at the sight of his lean muscled body, and don’t even get me started on those eyes. So pale blue that they appear silver. His scruffy jaw, and perfect lips and…ah, I’m doing it again. I have to stop drooling over this man. He’ll always see me as Dare’s little sister. He calls me kid for hell’s sake. Although I haven’t forgotten that kiss. Drunk or not, he didn’t think I was too little that night.
At least he’s talking to me and acting normal again. As much as I want to return to the living room with him, I resist and head upstairs to write away some of this sexual frustration.
Chapter Eight
Tucker
Growing on me, she said. If she only knew how badly I want her soft, sweet body underneath mine, she’d run screaming. Actually, she probably wouldn’t. And that’s the problem. I’ve seen the way she looks at me sometimes when she thinks I’m not watching, like she wants to fuck me every bit as much as I want to fuck her. And that kiss told me everything I needed to know. Six months seems like for-fucking-ever at the moment.
Sleet begins to tick off of the windows as I head upstairs to my room. At least I don’t have to work this weekend, so I can wait out the storm, but that also means I’ll be alone with Leah for days. My damn hand is going to be permanently shaped like a C.
Just because I won’t touch her doesn’t mean I don’t think about her when I jerk off. I felt a little guilty about it the first couple of times, but, hell, I’m a guy. Women end up in our spank bank whether we—or they—like it or not.
It’s been a long day, and after rubbing one out, I doze off to the distant sound of Leah typing.
A loud pop wakes me near dawn, and a peek out my window shows
me what happened. The faint green glow of an exploded transformer fades in the distance, but that isn’t the sight that makes me curse out loud. It’s barely light enough to see the power lines lying across the driveway.
A light tap on my door is followed by Leah’s unsure voice. “Tucker? Are you awake?”
“Yeah, come in.”
The lights go out just as she steps inside and I get a brief view of her sleepy eyes and tiny body wrapped in a green robe. “Did you hear that noise?”
I strike my lighter and dig through my dresser drawer for a flashlight. “Yeah, it was a transformer blowing out. The sun will be up in a few minutes. You should go back to bed. I’m going to check on the animals.”
“I can help if you give me a minute to get dressed.”
“No, it’s dark and there are power lines down. Wait here.” Before she can open her stubborn little mouth to argue, I stare her in the eye. “I mean it, Leah. Start a fire in the fireplace if you aren’t going back to bed.”
Her lips press together and she gives me a sarcastic salute. “Yes, sir.”
Damn, I want to pop her on her plump little ass, but I hand her a flashlight instead and head downstairs.
My first step outside almost lands me on my ass. There’s at least half an inch of ice covering everything. Tiny icy shards hit my face with no sign of letting up. After a few more steps, I give up and backtrack to the house to wait for daylight. It won’t be long and it’s too hard to walk on ice and watch out for debris.
And there is definitely debris. From my limited view, I can see branches littering the yard.
Leah is dressed in sweats and curled up by the fire in the living room when I come back in. “That was fast.”
“I need to wait for it to get light. If the power will be out for a while, I need to get the kerosene heaters going in the barn, and hook up the generator for us.”
“You don’t usually lose power for long out here, do you?” she asks.