by S. M. Shade
His tongue parts my lips, and I groan into his mouth as he slides completely inside of me. His kiss matches the pace of his long, slow strokes that are slowly driving me out of my mind. My hands find their way to his ass and I pull him against me, trying to get him to go harder. His eyes are warm when they gaze into mine.
“Slow,” he murmurs. “I just want to feel you.”
The intense emotion showing on his face overwhelms me. He’s making love to me, and I realize in that moment that anything I ever felt for a man was nothing compared to this.
This is love.
* * * *
It’s kind of adorable to watch Tucker squirm at the thought of telling Derek we’re together. It’d be cuter if I knew our announcement wasn’t going to end in a fistfight, though. I’ve done all I can and convinced Tucker it’d be best to tell him when the other guys are around. Plus Ayda, since she’s the one who can reel him back in once he’s pissed.
Landon and Zoe have had an in ground pool installed in their backyard so they’ve planned a little pool party to celebrate. It’ll be the first time everyone is together since Frannie’s death. I think he’s trying to help Zoe by surrounding her with her friends.
The guys teased Landon, asking him if his hazmat suit was waterproof, when he announced they were adding a pool. It is kind of funny, but he just flipped them off and announced a nighttime pool party.
It’s the perfect opportunity to tell Derek. He knows I stayed with Tucker the week after Frannie’s death, but not that we’ve been seeing one another again.
It’s barely dark when we arrive at Landon and Zoe’s place, but Justus and Sadie are already there. Ethan, Zoe’s brother, and his boyfriend, Colin, are splashing around in the pool with two more boys I don’t recognize. Ethan has been at college this year, so I’m sure Zoe is happy to have him home for the summer.
“Hey, Zoe. How are you?” I ask, hugging her.
Tears instantly fill her eyes and she forces a smile. “I’m getting by.”
It’s only been two weeks since Frannie’s death and Zoe was her best friend. “It’ll get easier,” I murmur.
“I know.” She wipes her eyes. “Let’s not talk about it tonight. Let’s get drunk and have some fun.”
“Hell, yeah!” one of the boys calls from the pool.
Zoe laughs and hands around bottles of beer. “Forget it, Zach. You’re eighteen.”
“I’m nineteen!” he huffs, sounding offended and making the rest of us laugh.
“Which is still two years short of legal,” Zoe reminds him.
Justus chuckles and lowers his voice. “And we all know we’d never break the law.”
Hannah smacks his chest. “None of us would give alcohol to a teenager.”
“Ow! Take it easy! You’ll damage the merchandise.” Justus brushes off his chest, and his sister rolls her eyes.
“Sadie, you’re a saint. I don’t know how you put up with him.”
“The big cock helps,” Justus says.
“Now I really need a drink,” Hannah grumbles, walking away.
Tucker takes my beer, opens it, and hands it back to me.
A grin leaps onto Justus’s face. He gestures between us. “What’s all this?”
“All what?” I reply, trying to remain inconspicuous.
“No, no, no. I saw that. You two are…” He makes a hand gesture that causes the boys in the pool to crack up, and Sadie shoves him.
There’s no point in denying it, but I still look to Tucker to see what he wants to do. No indecision exists on his part, and he slings his arm around my shoulder and stares at Justus, daring him to comment.
Of course, he does.
“Oh shit. Somebody get some milk to keep Tucker’s teeth alive until we get him to the hospital.”
Ignoring him, Sadie hugs me. “I’m happy for you both.”
“Me too,” Zoe adds.
Silence fills the night when Derek and Ayda walk in. Derek’s eyes go right to Tucker’s arm around me and his lips press together.
Without a hello, he barks, “Tucker, a word?” He gestures for Tucker to follow him back inside.
“No,” Tucker says. “There’s something I want everyone to know.”
Heat fills my face as everyone falls silent and all eyes are on us.
Tucker doesn’t look the least bit uncomfortable, though, as his deep steady voice fills the night. “I’m in love with Leah.” He looks down and tucks a lock of hair behind my ear. “And I’m one lucky son of a bitch because she feels the same way about me.”
Derek glares at him. “She’s young and she has plans for her future.”
“No, you have plans for my future,” I argue, stepping forward. “I’m happy with my present.” I approach Derek and look him in the eye. “I know you’re trying to look out for me, just like you’ve always done. I can never thank you enough for all you’ve done for me. I’ll always be grateful, but I’m not a child anymore. You helped raise me, Derek, and now you have to let me go live my life, just like everyone else.”
I step forward to hug him, and he squeezes me tight. “I love you.”
“I love you, critter,” he mumbles. “Are you sure this is what you want?”
“I love him.”
Tucker walks over to Derek, and I hold my breath, waiting for the worst.
“I love her. She’s it for me, Dare. I know you don’t like it. You don’t have to like it, but I want you to know I’m serious. I will always take care of her and put her needs first. One day, when she’s ready, I’ll make her my wife. So hit me again if it’ll make you feel better, because someday we’re going to be family.” A smirk pops up on Tucker’s face. “Brother-in-law.”
“Fuck,” Derek scoffs, shaking his head. It feels like the whole universe is holding its breath, waiting to see what he’s going to do until he takes a step forward and sticks out his hand.
Tucker shakes it, but after a moment, Derek jerks him forward and murmurs something in his ear. Tucker nods, and Derek slaps him on the back, releasing him.
Silence reigns for a few moments until Sadie whispers to Zoe, “That’s the most words I’ve heard Tucker say in a row.”
Everyone laughs, and Justus wraps an arm around her. “You still can’t whisper for shit.”
It breaks the tension and I sit on the edge of the pool, watching the boys wrestle around.
Tucker joins me, practically growling at one of the boys when he pretends he’s going to pull me into the pool.
“Stop. He’s a kid.”
“Didn’t stop him from trying to look up your shorts. And he’s closer to your age than I am.”
“There’s a line,” I laugh.
“That Tucker here smashed through like the Kool-Aid man,” Justus says, taking a seat on my other side.
“Eavesdropper,” I accuse.
“See, it just occurred to me. Leah has always been off limits because of the whole bro code thing, but Tucker has already demolished that, so, what do you say? Threesome with me and Sadie? I can talk her into it.”
Before Sadie or Derek can attack him, Tucker shoves him into the pool.
Surfacing, he shakes the water from his face. “A simple no thank you would have sufficed.”
Sadie laughs and says, “I’m not into girls, but we can discuss a one night swap. If half what I read in your book was true…”
Oh god. Since the deck won’t do me the favor of swallowing me up, I slide off the edge into the pool and dunk underwater. I hear a splash behind me before Tuckers arms circle my middle and we surface.
He’s wearing a smirk. “I really need to read this book.”
“No, no you don’t. I…embellished and…”
“Fantasized?”
“I never said it was about you!”
“I believe that’s been established.”
Wrapping my legs around his waist, I loop my arms around his neck. “You are forbidden to read it. Just forget I’m a writer.”
“What’s your next boo
k about?” he asks.
“A group of criminals who become a family.”
Laughing, he runs his lips across my shoulder. “But you don’t write from experience.”
Damn.
We climb out, and I strip off my shorts and hang them over a chair to dry. I’m wearing swimsuit bottoms underneath, but I still wrap a towel around me before joining the girls at the pool and opening another beer.
Tucker goes inside with the rest of the guys while we all chat.
“Does anyone know how Jeremy is doing?” Ayda asks.
Sadie leans back in her chair. “Justus went to check on him a few days ago and he threw him out. Said he needed time alone.”
“I’ll have Landon check on him tomorrow,” Zoe says.
“Everyone grieves in their own way and needing space is normal, but I agree, the guys need to keep an eye on him,” I offer.
Cries from the boys in the pool draw our attention.
Ethan surfaces, rubbing his eye. He keeps one eye closed and one of his friends asks, “Dude, what are you doing? A pirate impersonation?”
“Well, he’s a type of pirate,” his friend adds, and they all bust out laughing, Ethan and his boyfriend included.
“And yet, I’ve still touched more pussy than you,” Ethan claims.
“Ah!” Zoe slaps her hands over her ears. “I don’t need to hear this!”
Ethan grins at her. “I don’t need to hear you begging Landon in the bedroom either, but apparently, we both have to suffer.”
Tucker returns and sits down beside me. Turning to Zoe, he asks, “Ethan is spending his summer with you?”
“If he survives it.”
Tucker gets quiet for a moment, then asks, “But he’s returning to school in the fall?”
“Actually, his classes this semester are all online so I’m going to try to talk him into staying here. It’d be cheaper, anyway.”
“Do you think he’d want to stay out at the farm? His boyfriend could stay with him.”
“Are you running away?” Zoe teases, glancing at me. She knows what he’s getting at.
“Leah has a job she doesn’t want to leave, and it’s an hour and a half commute if she stays with me. I can’t leave the animals alone for long. If they want to take care of the place, they can stay until we’re ready to move back, or he goes back to school, whichever comes first.”
“And you can beg Landon all you want,” I add.
Zoe rolls her eyes. “I’ll talk to them.”
Ethan and Colin jump at the chance to have a house to themselves for the summer, and Tucker makes arrangements to take them out to the farm to learn what they’ll need to do for the animals.
“Are you going back home tonight?” I ask him once it gets late and everyone is leaving.
“No, but I have to go early in the morning. Do you want to stay with me a couple of days until we get the boys settled in?”
“Of course. Just drag me out of bed when you’re ready.”
Just as we’re saying goodbye, Justus shows up, clearly upset. He left an hour ago so I don’t know what could have happened in that amount of time.
“Is Sadie okay?” Zoe demands, first thing. Her worst fear would be to lose another person she loves.
“She’s fine. It’s Jeremy. He’s gone.”
Chapter Seventeen
Tucker
“What do you mean, he’s gone?” Dare asks.
“I went to check on him and his front door was unlocked, but all of his stuff—his clothes and furniture—everything is gone. Like he disappeared off the face of the earth.”
“Any signs of foul play? Blood, anything broken?”
“No.” Justus rubs his chin. “Just an empty house. His trashcan outside reeked so I checked it out. Looked like he just dumped the contents of his fridge in there.”
“Unbelievable,” Dare spits.
“He just…moved out?” Landon says.
Justus nods. “Looks like it.”
“All right,” Landon says. “Let’s get to ISH and try to track him.”
Leah nods and gives me a hug when I tell her, “I’m going with them. Take the car. I’ll ride with Dare.”
“I’m going home. Call me when you know something,” she pleads.
“I will.” I give her a kiss and then join Dare in his car.
When we’re pulling into the house ISH uses as their base, I ask, “How can you track him? Or is it too technological for me to grasp?” Computers have never been my thing.
We get out and hurry across the driveway. “We have multiple ways. First, we’ve installed tracking apps on all of our phones in case something happens to us. With our job, you can’t be too safe and it’s already saved Landon’s life once. Jeremy knows it’s on there so if he’s trying to disappear, he can just remove it. But there are other ways.” He smirks at me. “And those are too complicated to explain quickly.”
“You think this is because of Frannie?”
“I’d bet my ass on it. Women make us do crazy shit.”
“Tell me about it.”
Landon and Justus are right behind me and they both jump on a computer while Dare grabs a laptop and sits on the couch. We aren’t kept in suspense long when Justus says, “I’ve got him. His phone is on. It’s tracking him now.”
Landon looks at Dare. “He knows we can track him. He won’t answer his phone. Why would he leave it on? Does he want us to find him? Do you think someone has him?”
“No, I think he’s grieving and not thinking clearly.”
Leaning against the wall, I mumble, “He’s trying to run from the pain.”
All eyes turn to me, and I shrug. “I’ve been there.”
Justus’s computer bings and he looks up. “Illinois? He’s in southern Illinois. Who the hell does he know there?”
They all look at me as if I might have another answer for them. “Probably no one. I imagine that’s the point.”
Landon tries calling him, but his phone goes straight to voicemail, same as it did for Justus. “We have to go after him,” Landon says.
Dare sighs. “It’s about a five hour drive from here. It could be light when we get there.”
“Run me by my house to grab my suit,” he says. “I’m going.”
“So am I,” I volunteer.
“We’re all going. Let’s go let the girls know.”
We all ride with Landon, since his new SUV has windows that filter out the harmful sun rays. His suit is draped over the rear seat.
I promise Leah I’ll let her know something as soon as I can and within the hour, we’re on the road. Landon insists on driving, and we manage to make it to the small town about an hour before daylight.
“Take the next right,” Dare tells Landon, watching the navigator. “There,” he says, when we pull up to a two story lake house.
“Well, he’s not roughing it,” I remark, and Justus laughs.
“He’s a trust fund kid. Parents are loaded. He probably had plenty of locations to choose from.”
When we park around the side of the house, I instantly understand why he chose this place. The sky is just beginning to lighten, and the place is beautiful. A short trail from his side yard leads down to a wooden dock with a small boat floating beside it. It’s a peaceful place to escape, much like my farmhouse.
Dare bangs on the door until he nearly shakes it off of the hinges, but no one answers. Finally, he gives it a hard jerk, breaking whatever flimsy lock was holding it shut.
We step into a dimly lit living room. “Really? You had to break the fucking lock?” Jeremy gripes.
He’s sitting on the couch, his feet propped on the coffee table like all of this is just normal.
“Wouldn’t have had to if you’d answer the fucking door.”
Crossing his feet, he stares up at us, his face impassive. “I would’ve thought moving three hundred miles away would discourage company.”
“Now you know better,” Justus says, walking around and turning on lights
. “Damn, this place is nice. Whose is it?”
“Mine.”
Returning from his little tour, Justus stands in front of Jeremy, glaring at him. “What the fuck, Jer?”
Jeremy just stares back, stone faced.
“We drive all night to find your ass, and you have nothing to say.”
“I didn’t want to be found. Get the fuck out and leave me alone.”
Dare chuckles. “Not going to happen. Why did you run? You knew we could find you.”
Jeremy gets to his feet and opens the curtains overlooking the lake. The sun is just breaking the horizon and Landon slips out the door to get his suit. “You found me because I wasn’t hiding. I just want to be left alone. I don’t have any projects started for ISH. Seemed like a good time to get away for a while.”
Justus sits on his couch. “Getting away for a while generally doesn’t include moving all your shit.”
“This place wasn’t furnished. And I like my shit.” Jeremy paces the room. “Now, you can all see I haven’t been kidnapped and murdered, so you can go.”
“You don’t even know anyone here,” Landon says, stepping back inside.
Jeremy runs his hands through his hair. “That’s the fucking point!” He turns to me. “You should be able to understand.”
He’s right. I do. He’s dealing with a loss and feels overwhelmed by people watching him grieve. “I do understand. You have to understand why we’d want to make sure you haven’t jumped off the deep end.”
“Yeah,” he grumbles. His gaze meets Dare’s in a challenging look. “I’m not coming back. Not until I’m ready.”
After a few moments of silence, Dare speaks up, “Fine. If that’s what you want. You need a break. We get it. You didn’t have to go about it so…dramatically, but it’s your choice.”
“Thank you!” Jeremy flops into a recliner. “Shut the door behind you.”
“But,” Dare continues, drawing another glare from Jeremy. “We still want to know you’re okay. You’d do the same damn thing if you were in our shoes. So, we’ll leave, but you need to keep in touch.”
Jeremy shakes his head, and I add, “We’re not talking about long heart to heart talks while we paint our fingernails for fuck’s sake. Just answer a text or message each week. Let us know you’re alive and we won’t show back up to haunt you.” I look around at the other guys to see if they agree with the arrangement.