Alex looked down at her hand in his. “It’s what I do.”
Jack inclined his head, offering a smile. “It’s so dangerous. Look at the accident earlier this year when the rider was thrown. I don’t want you to get hurt, Alex.”
She shrugged to hide her confusion. “I gave up my dream of being a jockey when I was pregnant. I knew that was too dangerous for a mother.”
“Exercising horses is too,” he said, squeezing her fingers. “Being here at the farm, you won’t be able to drive to the track easily. We’re over an hour away.”
Alex pulled her hand out of his grasp, trying to hide her sudden anger. “Uncle Johnny depends on me.”
“I depend on you too,” Jack replied. “You’re my wife now and you have obligations as my wife. I want you to promise me you won’t take chances. I want you to give up working at the track.”
That was it. Breckinridge women didn’t exercise race horses. They didn’t fraternize on the backside. They sat in the front with the elite in their pretty sundresses and flower-covered straw hats.
“Okay, Jack, if that’s what you want. I promise.” Alex stood up abruptly. “I guess I should go to bed. It’s late.”
Bed. Now another dilemma raised its ugly head.
Jack climbed to his feet. “Your things are in the master bedroom.”
“I know.” Her heart skipped a beat. The master bedroom was for the home’s husband and wife. Where was Jack planning to sleep?
He read her mind again. “I’ll be staying in the adjoining study. I can sleep on the daybed. I’m afraid we’ll have to share the master bath, but it can’t be helped if we’re to play the part.”
The part. Marriage in name only, but the world must think differently, even her mother. A surprising regret swept through Alex, negating the anger she’d felt moments earlier. Why the contradictory emotions? She had been the one to insist on keeping this a relationship without sex.
He was facing her with his eyes unreadable. Slowly Jack reached out and moved a curl away from her cheek. The touch set off an electric shockwave.
“You don’t know how much I want to kiss you.”
At his husky admission, warmth suffused her body. Alex fought the need to kiss him too.
“But I promised,” he said.
“Yes.” Her voice cracked. “You did.”
Alex swayed ever so slightly. Her thoughts drifted. What would it be like to go to bed with Jack? Like a normal husband and wife? What would it be like to make love? All night long. Slowly. With a passion as hot as liquid fire?
She felt heat flush her face. Even the wind couldn’t cool her cheeks now. Making love to Jack would be a mistake. She would lose herself. Just as she had done with Brandon.
Funny, Jack didn’t want something to happen to her because she was now a Breckinridge and must play the part. For her, she had a deeper concern. She had her heart to worry about and didn’t want to fall in love again.
Jack brushed her jaw line with his fingertips. She fought to remain motionless, her insides aching.
“Good night,” she murmured.
“Good night, Mrs. Breckinridge.”
Surprise flashed in her eyes. Alex lowered her lashes and gave Jack a tiny, wary smile before she turned away from him and went inside. Don’t go, he wanted to call out. But he held his tongue. Damn his male ego. Bitter jealousy had stirred inside him when she mentioned Brandon.
Jack’s shoulders rose and fell with frustration. Following Alex into the house, he shut the French doors and locked them.
His grandmother had made such a wonderful home for his grandfather. Even today, her personality sparkled in the family room, with its soft yellow walls and white woodwork and traditional country French furnishings. Colorful dark red, yellow and cornflower blue Turkish rugs spread across the polished wood floor.
His grandparents had been married for over fifty years. Would his marriage to Alex last half that long? No use kidding himself. The business arrangement he had made with her was a joke.
He flicked off the lamp, pitching the room into darkness. At the door to the second bedroom, he paused in the shadows. He glanced to his right. The door to the master bedroom was shut against him.
He loved her. That’s why he was afraid for her to risk her life on the race track. But he couldn’t tell her that. Did she still love his brother? She had Brandon’s child. His brother had been a jerk to let this special woman go. He couldn’t change the past, but at least he’d brought his brother’s boy back to Breckinridge Station where he belonged.
Jack’s fingers gripped the door knob. He had promised himself to fix Brandon’s mistake. Keeping half of his obligation had been easy, but the other vow of a platonic marriage was the hardest he’d ever have to keep.
Chapter Nine
Jack had already left for work in Louisville by the time Alex awoke, showered and left the master bedroom. It was just seven o’clock, but that was late for her. Her mother was already busy in the kitchen fixing breakfast. It was as if she had never left this place and her responsibility as its housekeeper.
Tyler was bouncing up and down in his chair at the table, his eyes saucer-wide with excitement. “When can I go to the barn and see the horses?”
Alex smiled at her tousled-hair son and turned to pour a cup of coffee. “After school I’ll show you around.”
“Ah, do I hafta go to school?”
“Yes, you hafta.” Alex glanced sideways and winked at her mother.
Evelyn grinned and responded with her own knowing wink. “Eat your breakfast, Tyler,” she said. “Boys who live on farms need all their energy.”
Tyler started shoveling spoonfuls of oatmeal into his mouth.
Alex watched over the rim of her coffee cup as her little boy made quick work of his morning meal. God, Tyler was good for her. His enthusiasm was contagious. It almost made her forget being forced to stop riding for Johnny.
“Do you want anything to eat?” Evelyn asked.
“No thanks,” Alex replied and received a disapproving frown from her mother. “I’ll pick up something in town after I enroll Tyler in school.”
Evelyn shook her head, clucking as mothers often do. “You don’t eat enough to keep a bird alive.”
Alex laughed. Her mother hadn’t changed. Yet Evelyn appeared happy. Her complaint about Alex’s eating habits was not delivered in a nagging way. It was almost as if she complained because it was expected of her.
When Tyler had finished, Alex set her coffee cup by the sink and hurried the boy up to his room to brush his teeth. Then she shooed him through the kitchen and out the back door, pausing to turn and stare at her mother before she left. Was Evelyn Marsden humming? When had mother ever hummed over a sink of dirty dishes?
A warm glow flowed through Alex. This move had been good for her family. Oh, if she could only become happy here, but that would depend upon so many things...like Jack Breckenridge and feeling she didn’t belong in his life.
* * * *
Alex drove Tyler to the nearby county school, registered him for the third grade and made arrangements for him to ride home on the bus, an adventure he greatly anticipated. Returning to Breckinridge Station, she checked on her mother, who was in seventh heaven cleaning the buttery yellow family room. Not needed there, she escaped the confines of the house into a world she preferred—a world of horses.
Ross McGuire had replaced her father as farm manager. He was a man in his late forties, balding, always wearing a ball cap, and never saying much. It was clear he was a real horseman like Johnny. All morning Alex shadowed him, picking up as much from his actions as from his words.
Breckinridge Station had seven fulltime employees including Ross. Their foaling crew was experienced, and so were the guys who handled the breeding operation. The farm stood only two low-priced stallions, sending most of their twenty mares to be bred to outside stallions. Breckinridge Station stallions weren’t as high quality as others in the immediate Lexington area. That’s why Greco’s
dam had been bred to a former Derby winner, thus producing Greco.
Ironically, that mare was presently in foal to Breck’s Good Luck, the Station’s best stallion, unfortunately deceased.
“Breck’s Good Luck had no luck at all,” Ross told Alex. They leaned against a classic white rail fence so typical of central Kentucky and gazed at an empty paddock. “Got hurt before his three-year-old campaign. He’d been a champion at two. Even come close to winning an Eclipse award.”
The manager took off his ball cap and swiped the back of his hand over his forehead. “Mrs. B. retired him to stud after he got hurt, and as a stallion, Good Luck was doing a fine job. Covered his mares like a pro. His first foal crop sold well last year.”
“I heard he was put down,” Alex commented.
“Damn bad luck, like I told you. Broke his front left pastern in the paddock here in November. Had to euthanize the poor creature,” the manager explained. “I tell you, Mrs. Breckinridge was devastated.”
Alex sympathized with Jack’s grandmother. She had no illusions about the ups and downs of the horse business. “Did Jack and Brandon’s father ever take an interest in the farm?” She lifted her gaze to the farm manager, curious about what he had to say.
Ross paused before choosing his words. “Jackson Senior loves this place. Loves the land. The heritage. His wife never took a huge interest in it though.”
Alex had gotten that impression. “Is that why Nana left the Station to her grandsons, not her only son?”
Ross shoved away from the fence. “I expect so, but I tell you this, if Jackson hadn’t funneled money into this operation over the years, the Station wouldn’t have survived. Mrs. B. couldn’t keep it up after old Mr. B. died. As it is, we’re going to be hurting soon.”
“Why’s that?” They walked back toward the barn.
“Economy. Losing Good Luck. The Mare Reproductive Loss Syndrome of a few seasons ago. A lot of things.”
Letting what she had heard sink in, Alex nodded. From what she could tell, Ross ran a tight operation. If Breckinridge Station was in financial trouble, it wasn’t from mismanagement. Jack would find out soon enough what he was up against, if he was going to make this farm viable in today’s economy.
She wanted to help Jack, pull her weight, so they could make a go of this place. It meant as much to her as it did to him. She knew that now, seeing the barns and fields where she grew up.
Clearly, the two-year-old Thoroughbred Greco was the farm’s great hope. If he proved a big runner and won several of the best stake races, he would have a future at stud that could save this operation.
She paused before entering the breeding shed, struggling with the massive frustration she felt. Her life was spiraling out of her control in so many ways because of Jack.
Still she wanted him. Alex rocked on her heels, the truth sweeping through her. Not for the first time, she admitted to herself she was lost because of her foolish, growing desire for a man who needed her for one thing—to make sure his family honor wasn’t tarnished.
Since Brandon, she had not dated. She didn’t need a man—any man—or what desiring a man made her feel. She especially didn’t need Jack Breckinridge.
She would fight her feelings for him. She had to if she wanted to survive.
With resolve, Alex strode into the breeding shed to watch a Breckinridge Station stallion cover a mare in heat.
* * * *
Alex drove her mother into town later that morning. It took longer than they expected and she missed meeting the afternoon school bus.
“You go find Tyler,” Evelyn said after they had carried in all the bags of groceries. “I can put away the food.”
“You’re sure?”
“Go on, Alexis, and see what that boy is up to.”
Alex bolted out of the back door, feeling as if she was a schoolchild escaping from class at the final bell. There was too much trouble for Tyler to get into, especially since he didn’t know the barns or horses.
Part of her was worried about him, and the other part was excited. Finally her son would learn what her life had been like growing up. She’d teach him to ride and care for the horses. She’d pass on her heritage, which was bound to this farm just as much as his father’s was.
Alex rounded the corner of the mare barn and skidded to a halt shocked by what she saw. Tyler sat on the back of a horse. As improbable as that was, Jack was leading the horse around and looking cowboy-perfect in tight blue jeans, boots, and a long-sleeved shirt. His dark hair appeared even blacker in the sunshine and his male-model good looks more compelling.
He led the horse around and around the paddock. Tyler was safe with Jack. Yet Alex stood there dismayed. She had wanted to share this new experience with her son. That Jack would be the one was as unbelievable as having him here in the first place. From the bright look in Tyler’s eyes and the laughter coming from her son’s lips, Jack had made a friend. Having them bond this quickly was an unexpected surprise.
Tyler’s sandy blond hair reflected the late afternoon sunlight. He looked so much like Brandon up there in the saddle that it took Alex’s breath away. For the first time, she wondered why Jack didn’t see the resemblance.
Tyler spotted her and waved with his right hand. “Mommy, look! Jack let me ride his horse!”
Alex’s heart twisted. “I can see that, Tiger.”
Jack halted the horse and stood at its head while she walked toward them. “I was showing Tyler around,” he said. “I hope you don’t mind letting him ride Chief. Tyler can be quite insistent.”
“No, I don’t mind.” She shrugged to cover up the hurt. What was wrong with her? This was Jack’s farm. Without his generosity her family wouldn’t be here living out their dreams. No matter about her own dreams. She had sacrificed those years ago. Still it hurt that she hadn’t been the first one to put her son into the saddle.
Jack must have read her disappointment. “We need your help here, Alex. I’m not much of an instructor.”
“Yeah, Mom, you promised to teach me to ride.”
Alex opened the gate and approached them quietly. “It will be a big help, Jack, if you continue to lead Chief.” She placed a soothing hand on the horse’s withers and glanced up at her husband. Funny, it was hard to think of him like that, but she’d better get used to it. She had made her bed, so to speak, and must make the best of this awkward situation.
“This is Scottish Chieftain.” Jack made the introduction. “He was my grandmother’s American Saddlebred pleasure horse. This guy’s pretty old, in his early twenties, but he still gives a good ride.”
“I wanna ride fast,” Tyler said bouncing up and down.
“Stop!” Alex grabbed his thigh. “You must sit quietly in the saddle—for your sake and that of the horse. If you want me to teach you to ride, you’ll do what I say when I say it and you’ll respect Chief and any horse you ride.”
“I’m sorry.” Tyler looked contrite.
Alex gave him a reassuring smile. “Jack will lead you until I think you have your balance and are ready to ride—at a walk—around the paddock. It may not be today. You must earn the next step by doing a good job.”
“Okay, Mom.”
Alex glanced again at Jack who had an approving look on his face. What was it about this man that sparked fires within her? He wasn’t doing anything provocative, just holding the horse’s head and staring at her with admiration as if he was content about their circumstances and the bargain they had made.
Alex placed Tyler’s leg and heel in the proper position. “Now see if you can do that on the other side.” He nodded, looking down and concentrated on positioning his leg and boot. Then she made sure he held the reins correctly. “Jack, can you walk on?”
They circled the paddock at a walk several times, changed direction and went the other way. “You’ll be sore in the morning,” Alex told Tyler.
“Why?” he wanted to know.
“Because you’ve used muscles you don’t always use,”
she said. “But don’t worry. It’s a good kind of soreness. You’ll learn to like it.”
* * * *
They ate dinner that night in the big, country kitchen at a round oak table. Jack insisted they all sit down together, even Evelyn. They were a family, he told them, and when they could do it, they would eat dinner as a family. After that Jack helped with homework, but stepped aside when it was time for Alex to put Tyler to bed.
Afterwards, Alex slipped outside to the screened porch and sat down in the wicker chair to take stock of the day. She had been busy and productive, both as a mother and as a horsewoman. She’d seen the farm operation up close and knew she liked delving into the details. It was more fun than sitting behind an office desk, that was for sure.
Yes, the first day had been good. She might even come to enjoy “being married” if it was always like this, full of family and horses, which was what her life was all about. She might even forget the disappointment about not working with Johnny any more.
Darkness crept around her and the night sounds soothed her. In the distance a horse nickered. A dog barked down the road somewhere. She hardly heard the door open before Jack was there beside her, taking a seat on the sofa. Like last night they sat quietly for a while, letting the busyness of the day work out of their souls.
“I enjoyed today, Alex,” he broke the silence, his voice rich and deep.
She turned her gaze to him. “Thank you for taking an interest in Tyler.”
“He’s a Breckinridge,” Jack said, but added quickly, “Whatever our arrangement, Alex, the boy’s welfare isn’t part of the deal. It comes first in my book. I want us to be like a family.”
Alex heard his sincerity and her heart moved. “Thank you for being so understanding.”
“Thank you for marrying me.”
Yes, Breckinridge Station was his now and he’d salvaged his precious pride. Her family was a part of this place thanks to agreeing to a strange marriage of convenience.
“I did what I needed to do for my family, Jack.”
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