by Elle James
“I’m not ready to be anyone’s bodyguard.”
“We have other missions.”
“I’m not ready,” Deck insisted.
“Well then, you can stay at the ranch with Sadie and me, until you figure out what you’re ready for.”
“Don’t you need to check with Sadie before inviting people into your home?”
“Sadie knows your story, and she was the one to make the offer. She’s waiting in the car, if you want to verify.”
“That’s okay. I’m not really dressed for company.”
“She wouldn’t care.”
Decker clapped a hand on Hank’s back. “She’s a keeper. Don’t screw it up.”
“Not a chance. I got lucky when I found her.” Hank raised a hand. “Take care. I expect to see you before the holidays. Don’t be a stranger.”
Decker rounded the side of the house and stood on the front deck.
Sadie leaned out the window of Hank’s SUV. “Come for Christmas!” she shouted. “We have plenty of room at the ranch.”
“I’ll think about it,” Decker responded and waved.
Hank climbed into his car and drove away, along with half the inhabitants of the Cape in the usual mass exodus after the last day of summer vacation for most people. In a few short days, the Cape would be a veritable ghost town with summer cottages closed for the long, cold winter. The water sport rentals and the shaved ice stand were buttoned up, supplies stored until the next summer when school was out and a new wave of people moved in.
A steady stream of vehicles lined the road, driving slowly out of town.
Facing his first winter on the Cape, Decker hadn’t been sure about his decision. Up until last night, he’d left open the option to move back to Montana at the end of the summer season.
He’d moved to the Cape to leave behind the home his wife had decorated. In Norfolk, a city full of people, he’d felt more alone than ever. He’d hoped that a change of scenery might shake him out of the hole he’d crawled into after Allison’s death.
Selling their house in Virginia had been the first step. When Hank had told him about a cottage on Cape Cod that was for sale close to his vacation cottage, it gave him the perfect location to start over in a completely different environment. He had some money saved up that he could live on for a while until he decided what kind of work he wanted to get into full time. On more than one occasion, Hank had offered him a job with his personal security agency the Brotherhood Protectors back in his home state of Montana. He hadn’t given him an answer yet. He wanted the time on his own at the Cape to get his head on straight.
The summer had flown by with his working odd jobs, mostly in construction and maintenance, physically demanding jobs requiring his full concentration. At night, he worked at his computer, performing cyber security work, reviewing websites and social media for potential terrorist threats. It didn’t pay much, and it wasn’t as exciting as being a Navy SEAL on a mission, but he felt he was still doing something toward keeping his country safe.
The cottage on the beach had provided the perfect balm to his soul, allowing him a place to go at the end of the day, without any of his family and friends stopping in to ask how he was. With the exception of Hank and Sadie who’d spent the past week at the Cape.
After Allison’s death, Decker had left the Navy and drifted from job to job, not sure what he wanted or where he was going next. The sale of his house in Norfolk gave him the money he needed to buy the cottage on Cape Cod so he wasn’t strapped for cash. He had time to find his way and decide what he wanted to do with the rest of his life. The odd job of cyber-sleuthing for the government helped to keep money in his coffers.
Once all the tourists were gone, Decker would have the beach very much to himself. No more kids throwing Frisbees onto his deck. The only people he’d see were the locals. Like Roxi walking Otis, maybe stopping long enough to ask how he was doing. If she wasn’t so scared of him, he’d invite her up on his deck for a beer. They’d sit outside and watch the sunset, talking about the different colors spreading across the sky.
Decker reminded himself she’d never stopped by his place, and probably wouldn’t. After his dip in the sea during a strong riptide, she might think he was a nut job and stay as far away from him as she could.
But that kiss had not been one-sided.
Damn it. Why couldn’t he get her out of his mind?
He entered the cottage, grabbed his laptop and went to work searching the internet, not stopping until his stomach growled so much he was forced to seek sustenance. A glance at the clock on his desktop indicated it was near noon. Though he already knew the contents of his empty fridge, he checked anyway, hoping to find a slice of leftover pizza or a jar of jelly. He had peanut butter, but a quick check in the breadbox proved he was out of bread. If he wanted to eat, he had to go to the grocery store or eat at a restaurant.
Decker showered, dressed in shorts and a polo shirt, and slipped into a pair of tennis shoes. Grabbing his keys, he headed out in search of food. The slight breeze of the morning had picked up, lifting discarded burger wrappers and plastic grocery bags, carrying them along the sandy shoreline. Little puffs of clouds skittered across the sky as if in a hurry to escape the Cape.
The restlessness in the air permeated Decker’s senses. He passed his car with only a brief glance and chose instead to walk down the beach. Despite his vow to stay as far away from Roxi Lanier as possible, Decker found himself at the entrance to the Gone Fishin’ Bar & Grill. It was the closest place to his cottage to get lunch, and the food was good. So what if Roxi worked there? He couldn’t avoid her forever and, frankly, he didn’t want to.
Roxi wasn’t at the bar, mixing drinks and chatting with customers. For that matter, most of the summer crowd had left during the day, headed back to the cities, their summer fun over for the year. A few stragglers were scattered around the tables, finishing lunch and drinking beer. Soon, the temperatures would drop and rain and snow would claim the Cape. The summer and weekend revelers would be gone, and the locals would hunker down.
Frank, the crusty old cook came out of the kitchen, wiping his hands on a dishtowel.
“Is the grill still open?” Decker asked.
“It is,” Frank said in his booming voice.
Decker glanced around.
“If you’re looking for a waitress, the summer staff left today, Marcy called in sick and Roxi had to run to the store for supplies. She should be back any minute. What can I get you?”
“A burger with all the works, fried pickles and water.”
Frank nodded toward the tables. “Seat yourself. I’ll be back with your water when I get your burger on the grill.”
Decker chose to sit at the bar. When Roxi returned, he’d apologize for kissing her and thank her for coming after him when he’d gone out too far into the ocean. He’d been foolish.
Frank returned with a beer mug full of ice water.
One of the groups of people rose from their seats, tossed several bills on the table and waved. “See ya next year!” they called out.
Frank nodded. “We’ll be here.”
The door closed behind the group leaving only Decker and the last foursome lingering over beer and cold French fries.
Frank swiped a rag over the counter.
“How long has Gone Fishin’ been here?” Decker swirled the ice in his glass.
“I bought it fifteen years ago and sold it a year and a half ago.”
Decker glanced up. “Sold it?”
“Yeah. Roxi owns it now. I just want to work until I can’t, take off when I want and enjoy what’s left of my life.”
“You’re not old enough to retire.”
“I’m old.” Frank laughed. “And I should be sick, as much grease as I inhale back in the kitchen.” He threw the dishtowel over his shoulder. “Speaking of grease, I’d better go check on that burger before I start a fire.”
He hurried back to the kitchen and returned a few minutes later with the burger, fried pick
les and condiments. “Can I get you anything else?”
“No, this looks perfect.” His mouth watered at the scent of grilled burger. Decker loaded it with all the fixings and clapped the bun on top.
“Can I get you beer to go with that?”
“No.” Decker held up a hand. “I had more than enough to drink last night.”
“When are you heading out?” Frank asked.
“I’m not.” Decker lifted the burger. “What about you? Will Roxi close the place over the winter?”
“No, she runs it all year round. Most stores and restaurants close during the winter. Not the Gone Fishin’. Since Roxi took over, she’s upgraded the Bar & Grill to a sports Bar & Grill.” Frank pointed to the corners, one by one. “She added the large televisions and keeps sports on at all times. This is now the place to be to watch football games and other sports or just to hang out with friends. Folks love it. And they love Roxi.”
“She seems to have a lot going for her. I’m surprised she’s not married with a couple of kids running around the place.”
Frank shook his head, the smile fading from his eyes. “I wish she was. I doubt she’ll ever get married.”
“Why not?”
Frank’s eyes narrowed. “Why do you care?”
Decker shrugged. “I don’t know. She’s pretty and she always has a smile on her face.” Except when I kiss her. “I’d have thought she’d be snapped up by some lucky guy.”
For a long moment Frank stared at Decker—no, make that glared at Decker. “There are things you don’t know about Roxi. Things you’ll have to ask her yourself. She’s had a hard enough life without some city dude screwing it up again. Don’t mess with her, or I’ll take you down.” The old man’s lip curled up on one side. “If she doesn’t take you down first.”
Decker didn’t blink and didn’t back down at Frank’s warning. You’re not in the market for a relationship. He repeated the mantra in his head. “I like Roxi. I wouldn’t hurt her.” Not intentionally.
“Good.” Frank squared his shoulders. “I’ll get a refill on your drink.”
“I’ll get it,” a female voice said behind Decker. “What are you having?” Roxi entered the building and walked around him, carrying a reusable canvas bag filled with groceries. She smiled at Frank. “If you’ll take these, I’ll get this customer’s drink.”
Frank took the bag. “He had water.” With a long narrow-eyed glance at Decker, he left the bar and returned to the kitchen.
Roxi spun to face Decker, a smile on her face. Her smile froze, and her eyes rounded, a slow flush rose in her cheeks. “Oh. It’s you.”
Chapter 5
Heat filled Roxi’s cheeks and her lips tingled with the memory of Decker’s kiss. “Water, was it?” She slid behind the bar, snatched his glass from the counter, and filled it with ice and water from the tap in quick, efficient movements. She set the glass on the counter and water sloshed over the side. “Sorry.” She bent to retrieve a clean rag from a drawer and sopped up the moisture. When she stopped fussing, her hands shook so she shoved them behind her back and forced what she hoped was a carefree, I’m-not-at-all-attracted-to-you smile. “Is there anything else I can do for you?”
Decker nodded. “You can have dinner with me tonight.”
She shook her head before he finished. “I'm working. Most of the staff left for the summer and my fulltime waitress is out sick.”
“Then have coffee with me,” he persisted.
Her heart skipped several beats and she almost agreed. “I can’t.”
“You have to walk Otis sometime. Let me walk with you.”
On cue, Otis entered the bar, sat beside Decker’s chair and nuzzled his leg.
Decker grinned. “I think you’re outvoted.” He scratched the dog behind the ears. “If it makes you feel better, I won’t kiss you.” His gaze rose to capture hers and he added softly, “If you don’t kiss me first.”
“I don’t know.” She bit down on her bottom lip again. Being with Decker stirred up feelings she wasn’t sure she could handle.
“I want to thank you for saving my life.” Decker stared at her, his face sincere, his gaze compelling. “Please.”
For a long moment, she debated the foolishness of leading on a man who could never be more than a casual acquaintance. She took a deep breath and said, “I walk Otis around three—in between the lunch and evening crowd.” Hell, she’d done it now. When she should have said no, she agreed to walk with him. Well, what could happen? She would be on a public beach in full daylight. With people around, she wouldn’t be tempted to kiss him.
Her gaze shifted to his lips. Just because she was tempted to kiss him now, didn’t mean she’d be tempted on the beach. They’d be moving, not staring at each other.
“Three o’clock, then,” he said, smiling. “I’ll be on the beach between the bar and the pier.”
Roxi nodded. “Okay. Now if you don’t need anything else, I have supplies to unload.”
She hurried back out to her SUV, gathered several bags and carried them into the bar, passing Decker on the way to the kitchen where she unloaded groceries onto the counter.
Frank stood at the preparation counter, his gaze on the window between the bar and the kitchen, a frown pulling his bushy gray brows together. “If Decker is bothering you, just say the word and I’ll send him on his way.”
Bothering her? Oh, yeah, he bothered her all right. But not the way Frank was talking about. He made her feel things she wasn’t sure she should be feeling. With her old friend glaring out the window at Decker, Roxi laughed. “He’s not bothering me.”
“Like I said. Say the word and I can show him the door and tell him he’s not welcome to ever come back.”
Roxi leaned up on her toes and kissed Frank’s grizzled cheek. “Thanks, but I’m not thirteen anymore. I’ll be twenty-seven next month, and I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”
“Doesn’t hurt to have backup. Just in case.”
“I know. And I appreciate the sentiment.” She hugged him briefly and went back to work putting the supplies on the shelves.
“What do you know about Decker?”
That he could kiss like nobody’s business and his muscles were rock-solid. “Not a lot.” Roxi’s body heated.
“Keep Otis with you, when you’re around him.”
She nodded, hiding a smile. “I will.” She didn’t tell Frank that Otis seemed to be on Decker’s side.
Frank reached around her to grab the sugar canister. “I worry about you.”
“I know you do. You’re worse than my mother was.”
“You know your mother never forgave herself for what that man did to you when you lived in the city.”
“How could she have anticipated something like that happening to me? I was thirteen. I thought I knew everything. I broke her one major rule and stepped out of the apartment for what I thought would be five minutes to run to the store.”
She’d wanted to surprise her mother by having dinner ready for her. The woman worked two jobs and rarely got home before eight at night. Roxi wanted to make the only thing she knew how—spaghetti. Only they didn’t have any noodles. So, she’d taken change from the swear jar and hurried out of the apartment and down the stairs to the street below.
The grocery store was two blocks away. Two blocks and two alleys away. She had been in such a hurry she’d nearly tripped over a kitten. When she stopped to see if she’d hurt it, a man stepped out of the alley and snatched her from behind, clamped a hand over her mouth and dragged her into the shadows. No one heard her scream, no one came to help.
Pushing the nightmare to the back of her mind, Roxi smiled. “It’s been a long time. I’m well over it.”
“Then why don’t you date? You’ve never had a steady boyfriend.” The old army sergeant shook his head. “It’s not natural.”
“Oh, Frank. I’m fine. Just picky.” And scared. Other than being raped at thirteen, she’d never been with a man. She read
books and watched R-rated movies. She knew what was supposed to happen, but she wasn’t sure how she’d react to having a man on top of her. For the first three years after the attack, she’d woken up in a panic when she got tangled in the sheets and couldn’t get out.
Every time she got close to a man and even considered getting intimate, she’d panicked. Her heart raced, and she broke out in a cold sweat. Except last night.
Yes, she’d pushed Decker away, but not because she was in a panic, but because she was anticipating it and didn’t want Decker to realize she was a freak. When the usual anxiety attack didn’t happen, it was too late. The moment had been lost.
“What about Decker?” Frank asked, breaking into Roxi’s thoughts.
“What about him?” she asked, heat stealing into her cheeks.
“What’s his story?”
“Like I said, I don’t know much about him.” Just that his wife is dead, and he kisses like a dream.
“I didn’t know much about your mother when I fell in love with her. The same day we met, I knew.”
Roxi faced Frank, crossing her arms over her chest. “Did you ever tell her that you loved her?”
The older man’s shoulder lifted, but he refused to meet her gaze. “She made it pretty clear it was your father she preferred.”
“What about after my father died and you brought us here to live?” Roxi asked. “Did you tell her then?”
“Angela had enough on her mind helping you deal with what happened and making a new life for the two of you. Then the cancer set in.”
“You never told her.” Roxi’s arms fell to her sides and her chest hurt for the man who’d loved Angela Lanier and done everything to help her when her world fell apart. He’d been there when her mom had been diagnosed with stage IV ovarian cancer and sat at her bedside while she’d slowly slipped away. “She must have known. No man would have done that much for her if he didn’t love her.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore.” Frank nodded toward the window. “What matters is that you give yourself a chance to find love. Speaking of chances, Decker just left.”
Roxi leaned over to look through the window into the bar. Decker’s seat was empty. Otis padded into the kitchen and looked up at her.