by Robyn Grady
Buddy’s eyes were closed, with his gorgeous little mouth slightly open and his free arm hanging. He was fast asleep and so darn cute. Teagan wanted to reach out and touch the satin of his cheek then inhale that heavenly baby scent.
She whispered, “He’s really out of it.”
Still gazing at his son, Jacob whispered, too. “I’ll put him down. He usually naps around this time for an hour or so.”
As he walked away, he lobbed a suggestion over his shoulder. “Maybe take a seat on the back porch. There’s a breeze coming through.”
She nodded. “Sounds good.”
Still, she didn’t move until Jacob had disappeared up the staircase. That man knew how to rock a tuxedo or custom-made suit. He had blue jeans and boots down pat. But sexy daddy putting down baby for his nap was by far his best look. She could soak it in all day long.
She took a seat on the back porch and thought back on the conversation they had after he’d learned he was a father. He’d admitted that he had never wanted children. That he certainly didn’t want any more. Some part of Jacob would always be the boy who had grown up without love or support, and he was smart enough to know that deficit could affect the relationship with his son.
The conviction behind his words that day had stopped Teagan in her tracks. His uncompromising attitude had made her think of people who complained when they heard a child cry, or rolled their eyes and shuddered if a kid was having fun rather than being “seen and not heard.” She wasn’t able to have one of her own, but she would always love the sound of children playing. She would always feel compassion whenever a young person was in distress or needed help. On the flip side, Jacob had thought life would be better if he never had to deal with any of it. On top of that, when she had come to the decision to call it quits for good, Jacob had bowed out without an argument. Like Damon.
But after Lanie’s visit, Teagan had begun to wonder.
Despite his misgivings, could Jacob be the kind of father he had needed growing up? And if the answer to that question was yes, there was another one to ask.
How deeply did his feelings for her run? Had things become all too difficult, or were they worth fighting for? Now Teagan was more optimistic about the first question, not so confident about the second.
Jacob walked out through the back screen door. Resting his water glass on a muscular jean-clad thigh, he gazed out over the yard and playground while she took in his profile, particularly the faint smile tugging his lips.
“Buddy’s in his cot.” He showed her a baby monitor. “These are amazing. You can hear every peep.”
“Peace of mind, huh?”
“That’s the goal.”
“I like his nickname.”
“I got used to Benson, but he looks more like a Buddy to me. The first time I called him that, he was taking a bath. He squealed and splashed till I was soaked through.”
As he brought the glass to his lips, a pulse began to beat high in his bristled cheek and then his gaze went to the porch floorboards. The pause was a long one but she waited. Obviously he had something important to say.
“There’s been a new development,” he finally said. “Ivy’s signed over full custody.”
Teagan’s mouth dropped open. What the...?
Despite Eloise’s progress, Guthrie had gone ahead and applied for sole custody of Tate and Honey, too. It was not a small thing.
“She doesn’t want Buddy to live with her? Doesn’t want to be involved in any of the decisions?”
Jacob shrugged one shoulder and grunted. “As of two days ago, he’s all mine. She doesn’t even want to visit. Says it’s better this way. ‘A clean cut,’ she called it.”
Teagan was near speechless. “I can’t believe a mother would do that.” Even Eloise wouldn’t give her children away.
“Oh, I can believe it. And if that’s how Ivy feels, it’s better that I take over completely.”
Teagan had thought that Jacob would have a hard time assimilating to part-time fatherhood. In fact, he had taken on the role full-time, and seemed not only committed but happy to do it.
“I’m going to have to think about how to tell Buddy one day. I don’t want him growing up thinking it was his fault, because he’s perfect. Everything about him.”
Teagan felt the tears threatening to fall. His words and tone sealed the deal. Jacob might have his biological father’s DNA but he had a mind-set and heart similar to Hux’s, his dad through adoption.
“And I’m only grateful that Ivy didn’t stretch it out,” he went on. “At one stage, she was threatening to take me to court over some half-assed reason. What a waste of time and energy.”
Teagan remembered the lawsuit Jacob had wanted to file against Wynn. Not so much fun when the shoe was on the other foot.
“So it’s all done?” she asked.
“Signed and binding.”
“What if Ivy changes her mind?”
His nose crinkled as he shook his head. “You’d have to know her. She had everything, anytime, in every way. Instead of understanding how lucky she was and giving back, people just don’t seem to matter to her. Even her own son. Out of sight. Out of mind.”
Teagan had to wonder...had Jacob been drawn to Ivy because of his past? Had he subconsciously chosen a partner who was as emotionally unavailable as his parents had been? A psychologist friend had once said that everyone wanted to recreate and control some aspect of their childhood. For example, Teagan wanted to be a wonderful parent like her own mom.
Which reminded her...
“The gym’s sold,” she said. “Signed the papers yesterday.” She was free to return home if she wanted.
“I might have to do the same with my law firm,” he said. “I can worry about having a Manhattan office after Buddy graduates. Or maybe I won’t. There’s lots of interesting stuff I can do from right here.”
He talked about moving away from defamation cases and going into family law. He wanted to work with separated or divorced parents to get them to cooperate rather than pit one against the other. He talked about helping people with mental health and addiction problems who faced legal ramifications and family breakdown. He got particularly wound up when he explained about wanting to save as many kids as he could from juvie hell. He wanted to create a sanctuary like the Rawson Stud Farm and make certain the facility was available to boys and girls who’d been thrown away by their parents as well as society.
The longer he spoke, the more enthusiasm and belief blazed in his beautiful eyes. Teagan could have listened all day...all night.
He’d changed so much in such a short span of time. He still came across as driven but without the need to dominate. It was like he had found what made him truly happy and now he could sit back, take a breath and simply build on that.
And she got the impression he didn’t see her as part of that equation. In the past, whenever they’d been together, he could barely keep from kissing her, touching her, telling her how incredible she made him feel. When she’d arrived unannounced, he’d been taken aback. Annoyed. Now it was more like, No hard feelings.
That left Teagan feeling like an idiot, hating that she hadn’t believed in him more. Hadn’t believed in them.
Jacob checked his wristwatch. “I should wake Buddy up. If he sleeps too long during the day, he wants to stay up and play with the owls.”
“Does he have a cuddle toy?”
“Cuddle toy? I would say no.”
“I’ve read that can help for babies over six, seven months old. Around that age, they become aware of separation. Having a familiar face in the cot can be a comfort.”
He was nodding. “Sure. I’ll pick one up this week.” He cast a look out toward that elm and pushed to his feet. “Better put away that shovel and bring the bouncer in. He’s probably had enough of the outdoors for one day.”
Was that code
for wanting her to hang around a bit longer? Or was she overthinking it? Should she tell him how she felt or bow out gracefully now? This all felt so different to what she’d imagined.
He sauntered across the lawn and scooped up the shovel. Then he inspected the sandbox again before disappearing into the big backyard and ducking through some shrubs, which she presumed hid a shed. Watching his every move, Teagan was left feeling a little giddy. In her eyes, he would always be the sexiest man alive, the person who could make her tingle with just a look. And whenever they kissed...whenever they touched...
If they made love now, would it be the same?
Or would it be better?
Suddenly the baby monitor went off. Buddy wasn’t just shifting on his cot up there, or even fussing as he woke up. What Teagan heard was a piercing scream that lifted her out of her shoes.
Fumbling, she snatched the monitor up and checked the video feed. Buddy was standing in his cot—he was old enough to do that?—holding on to the rail, his gorgeous little face all puckered up. She called toward the shrubs.
“Jacob! Jacob!”
Buddy was crying now. Really crying. Teagan whimpered, dropped the monitor and bolted inside.
As she ran through the kitchen, an obvious question dawned. Buddy’s bedroom was upstairs, but which one was it? As she raced up the stairs, she realized she only needed to follow the wails.
Still standing in the cot, the baby had one arm flung out like he was trying to snatch a rope. Teagan raced over and, without thinking, scooped him out and into her arms.
“It’s okay, Buddy. I’m here. Your daddy’s coming, too.” She threw a glance at the open bedroom door. “Soon. He’ll be here really, really soon.”
The baby was nestled upright against her chest, his little chin on her shoulder. The motion she used was a cross between rocking and jostling, a fast jigging movement meant to distract as much as soothe.
Hurry up, Jacob. Hurry the heck up!
But of course she could take Buddy downstairs. Right now. No big deal.
Then she realized the baby had stopped crying. Completely. Teagan was almost too scared to look; she didn’t want to get him started again.
Slowly she lowered him from her shoulder and held him a little away from her. His face was all red. His cheeks were wet. Watching her now, he didn’t smile, but at least he didn’t scream again.
That’s when Jacob swept into the room like there was a fire. He pulled up sharp and ran a hand down his face. Finally, he smiled.
“Well, I see you two have gotten better acquainted.”
“Sorry.” She shrugged. “We couldn’t wait.”
And now that Jacob was here, naturally Buddy would want to go to his dad.
But the baby only kept his gaze on Teagan, like she was some strange curiosity. And while he stared, he clung to her blouse, gently tugging the fabric one way, then the other. She caught their reflection in the windowpane. Weird, but not. The image of her and this baby, with Daddy in the background, reminded her of a family photo.
Joining them, Jacob dropped a kiss on his son’s crown. Then he looked at Teagan like she might actually be an asset.
“How are you with giving baby baths?”
“I’m...pretty good, actually.”
“Are you available? Or are you on a time line?”
“I haven’t booked a flight back yet.”
“Well, I’m planning steak for dinner. Mashed veggies for Buddy—if you’d like to stay?”
Lifting her chin, she started putting together a proper response in her mind. But poise didn’t count now. This wasn’t the time to play it cool.
“I’d like that, Jacob,” she said. “I’d like that very much.”
Twenty-One
Teagan watched while Jacob gave Buddy his bath.
He was spot-on making sure all the creases and fiddly bits like ears were attended to. When he tickled his son’s belly with the washcloth, she laughed along with the baby. And after Jacob had dried him and applied baby powder, she was gobsmacked at the expertise with which he managed the diaper. It was that sexy baby daddy thing again. So attractive.
But it was more than that. The way Jacob cared for his child touched her so very deeply. It made her feel wistful but also hopeful, particularly whenever he wanted her to join in.
“You seem to have all the baby stuff down pat,” she said as they headed downstairs to start on dinner.
“I read a couple of books on basics and got hooked on You’re a New Daddy videos. If you know a few tricks, it’s pretty smooth sailing. Helps when you have a good kid.”
Heading into the kitchen, he rubbed his forehead against Buddy’s. The baby giggled like he’d heard the world’s funniest joke. No one learned that from a book or video. Despite earlier misgivings, it seemed Jacob was a natural and Buddy loved him all the more for it.
Jacob set Buddy up in a nearby playpen with some toys while they got to work cooking. Again, she was impressed. In between chopping and marinating and mashing, he talked about time-saving techniques, how he stayed clear of preservatives and food coloring where Buddy was concerned, and how he was going to try out a new spaghetti sauce recipe next week.
The way to a man’s heart was supposedly through his stomach. Now she put her own spin on the adage. The way to her heart was watching Jacob master this new domain. On the side, she fantasized about seeing him go about things wearing nothing but an apron.
Which, of course, led to thinking about later when Buddy was asleep and they were alone. Not that she wished this time away. She was enjoying every single moment. She wished it would never end.
When dinner was served, Buddy was set up next to his dad in a high chair. Jacob spoon-fed him some mashed veggies, which he devoured. When he’d had enough, Jacob attached a set of toy keys to the tray to keep him amused while the adults ate. Too easy.
After stacking the dinner dishes on the counter—Teagan had said she would load the dishwasher when Jacob took Buddy to bed—they sat together in the living room. Jacob talked on about all the different things Buddy could do.
“His first word was buba,” Jacob said, holding Buddy on his lap while the baby gnawed a corner of a plastic book about jungle animals. “Then Dada. No coaching.”
As if to confirm the point, Buddy said, “Dada. Dada,” before going back to chewing. Clever. But his eyelids were drooping now. Then came a yawn.
By the time Jacob had dimmed the lights and read him the book, pointing out and describing all the pictures, Buddy was ready to go down for the night. Teagan wiggled her fingers and singsonged, “Night-night, Buddy,” before Jacob took him up to bed.
Watching them go, Teagan told herself again how wrong she had been to prejudge. Jacob was patient with Buddy, and good-humored and kind. He literally shone as a father. The real joy was how much they both so obviously loved being together.
Was there room enough for her to visit again? After that shaky start today, was there any hope that Jacob might still feel the same way he had about her? Since the baby monitor incident, he’d included her in things, but there hadn’t been the slightest hint of romance. Nothing in his eyes that spoke to a need to take her in his arms. But after Buddy was put down for the night, perhaps they could discuss the second reason she had come.
Did Jacob care about her still? Or had she literally thrown them away?
* * *
By the time Jacob got upstairs, Buddy was already asleep. As he laid a light cover over his son, he deliberated more on Teagan’s surprise visit today. No phone call, no warning, no, Sorry I didn’t believe in you and dropped your sorry ass cold. Was he being too harsh or did she have a nerve?
Making his way back downstairs, he wondered how best to convey his feelings on the subject now that there was little chance of them being interrupted. Perhaps, Thanks for taking the time, now excuse me while Buddy a
nd I get on with our lives. Like Teagan was getting on with hers. With the gym sold, she would soon be jetting off to rejoin her billionaire clan on the other side of the world. Cool. She had her family and, you’d better believe, he had his.
He’d even met someone who had let him know he was doing a good job. Someone who thought Buddy was the absolute best. A woman they both could trust.
Jacob found Teagan where he’d left her. Sitting on the couch, she was thumbing through Buddy’s book, looking hauntingly beautiful beneath the lights’ soft glow. These past weeks, he’d thought about her way too much...her hair, her scent, most of all her touch. But when people let you down, you dusted yourself off and moved on. You survived...even when something fierce and deep inside clawed at you to hold on.
When she looked across and smiled, Jacob bit down against the almighty tug in his gut. They had a history in the bedroom like nothing he had experienced before. But the tender moments they had shared were even more memorable. Watching her sleep, hearing her laugh, holding her extra close just because.
“Buddy’s down?” she asked as he walked over. “That didn’t take long.”
“He should sleep through the night.”
She sighed. “He’s just so sweet.”
Yep. “I know.”
Her eyebrows knitted as she put the book aside. “I can’t understand his mother...”
“You mean about her not giving a crap?” He sat down. “I understand her perfectly.”
Teagan’s eyes filled with pity. “Because of your own mother?”
“That woman was so out of it, she didn’t care whether I lived or died.” Thinking of Buddy again, he growled and shook his head. “Sometimes I feel like I handed down some twisted family curse.”
“It’s not your fault Ivy Schluter has no heart.”
“But I did make the choice to be with her.” To sleep with her.
“And now you have a beautiful son.” Her gaze grew distant as she murmured, “I always wanted kids of my own.”