by DeLuca, Gia
“Easier said than done.” Her hands began to visibly tremble at the mere thought of contacting Caroline. Whatever my mother had said or done to Evie had left her terrified. “Can we not talk about her anymore?”
“Of course,” I said, brow furrowed as I stood up. “Let’s get you out of this house. I have a feeling once I leave, you’re going to be stuck moping around here until I come back again.”
She popped her head up at me, seemingly shocked by the mention of my future return.
“I’ll be back, Evie,” I said. “This won’t be the last time.”
Her face softened.
“I told you,” I said. “I’m taking care of you. It was my dying brother’s last request. Now, come on. Get up. I’m taking you out for dinner.”
***
We cozied into a corner booth in a little eatery on the south side of the square, Evie’s eyes constantly perusing the room in search of something.
“What’s up?” I asked after a bit. “You keep looking around.”
“I feel like people are staring,” she said, squirming uncomfortably and smoothing her long, dark hair.
“Why would they stare?” I asked, confused.
“People talk, Jude,” she said, her eyes sad and tired. “They all have their opinions about me.”
“What could they possibly say about you? You’re the sweetest thing,” I replied.
“They say I’m loaded now. I’m a millionaire. That I only married Julian because I knew he was going to die. They say I had a master plan. They say I poisoned him,” she muttered dryly. “Want me to go on?”
I raised a brow. “And how do you know all this?” I asked.
“It all gets back to me,” she said. “One way, or another.”
“You know it’s just a bunch of bored locals trying to make themselves feel better about their own miserable lives,” I assured her. “Besides, what other people think of you is none of your business.”
My words soured my tongue as I tasted the irony in them.
“I’m drinking tonight,” she announced, standing up and heading to the bar.
“Good for you. I’m sticking with water. Someone’s got to be the responsible one.” I threw her a wink as she strolled away and returned a short time later with a blue cocktail in her hand and a relieved smile on her face. I wanted her to relax and have fun. She needed it.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. I didn’t need to look at it to know that it was from Veronica. She’d been blowing up my phone all day, begging me to come back home to work on business things. I’d casually mentioned my mother’s investment and Veronica was chomping at the bit to expand, though I was quite sure it had more to do with us having to spend extra time together than anything else.
“Anything good?” Evie asked as I typed a response to Veronica.
“Oh, just good old V. Up to her usual antics.” I rolled my eyes.
“Oh,” Evie said. For a split second she almost sounded jealous. Almost.
“She’s very high-maintenance,” I said. “Nothing like you.”
Her lips curled into a shocked smile as I compared her favorably. “Thanks, I think.”
“Nah, I just mean you’re a cool girl,” I said. “They don’t make ‘em like you where I’m from.”
Evie was the quintessential girl next door. There was nothing fake or plastic about her.
“Does everyone in California have fake boobs and blonde hair?” she asked.
I laughed. “No, not everyone. It’s not unusual, though. You just get used to it.”
“Are you into that?” she asked, biting her lip. Her shoulders fell a bit as if the drink had suddenly made her relax and loosen her filter.
“I don’t actively seek out girls like that,” I said. “But I don’t discriminate.”
Evie rolled her eyes.
“I tend to date women based on whether or not we click. The physical attraction is just a bonus,” I explained.
“Do most guys in California like that stuff, though?”
“I don’t know,” I said with a shrug. “Why don’t you come out and see for yourself? I’m serious about that open invitation. You need to get out of here. Halverford’s not good for anyone.”
She sipped the last of her drink before slipping out of the booth. “You’re probably right. I’ll be right back. I need more blue stuff.”
I watched her walk off to the bar, reserving my judgment and reminding myself that she was just a broken little girl trying, for a moment, to forget about all the chaos and bullshit life had just flung at her.
As she leaned against the bar, placing her order, a young man walked up to her, commanding her attention in an instant. I couldn’t make out what they were saying, but I watched as she scrunched her face and spewed some words at him before turning back around. He watched her walk away, back toward our table.
“That guy giving you trouble?” I asked.
She laughed, tossing her head back. “No, not at all.”
“Who is he?”
“A very lost soul,” she replied cryptically.
“An ex?”
“In every sense of the word,” she said, licking the blue liquid off her lips. “More like a never-again.”
“Interesting.”
“How is that remotely interesting?” she asked. “Everyone has exes.”
“You still talk to him?”
“No,” she said, squinting. “Why all the questions?”
I had my reasons. “Just curious.”
She traced her finger around the thin glass rim of her crystal tumbler, nothing left but watered down blue liquid and melting ice cubes.
“Maybe you should cool it with the drinks, Evie,” I suggested, mentally calculating the two drinks she’d consumed since we’d arrived. “I’ll get you some water.”
I ran to the bar, returning with a tall glass of ice water which she hesitantly accepted.
“Drink up,” I said. “Start thinking about what you want for dinner. You need to eat.”
“You’re taking Julian’s whole ‘take care of my poor widow’ thing way too seriously,” she said with an eye roll, though part of me was convinced she kind of liked it.
After dinner, I escorted Evie out to the car, her drinks beginning to wear off, if only a little bit. As we left the restaurant, I saw exactly what she was talking about. All eyes were on her. She was the talk of the town. It wasn’t her imagination at all. I had to get her out of here.
The second we made it back to her house, I helped her to her room, where I hoisted her up onto her massive bed and covered her with layers upon layers of soft blankets and covers.
“Sorry I can’t help you undress,” I said. “Hate to make you sleep in jeans, but I just don’t think it’d be right for me to…”
“Mmhm,” she said drowsily. “It’s okay, Jude.”
I lingered for a bit. I was leaving the next morning. I didn’t want to dodge out on her like that without so much as a proper goodbye. Julian would’ve killed me.
“Jude?” she called out, her eyelids fluttering as she struggled to stay awake.
“Yeah?”
“I miss Julian.”
“Me too. I want you to know I’m sorry I couldn’t have spent more time with him over the last eight years,” I said, as if apologizing to her made up for any of it.
“You don’t have to tell me that,” she whispered, her voice breaking.
“I just never got to tell him,” I said, staring at the empty side of the bed that belonged to my brother. “I missed out on so much, and now he’s gone. You’re all that’s left of him.”
“Me?” she asked.
“Yeah. He loved you more than anything, Evie,” I said. “Spending the last few days with you, I get it.”
I stood at Evie’s bedside, watching as she melted into the covers, her dark hair spilling onto the pillow behind her. Her deep-set blue eyes softly closed and the slightest space parted her full pout, and within seconds, she was out cold.
&nb
sp; “Goodnight,” I said.
EVIE
My head pulsed. No—throbbed. And the overwhelming urge to throw up sent me flying out from under the warm covers of my morning bed. I raced down the hall, forgetting for a moment why I was still in jeans.
The second the toilet seat hit the back of the toilet, I wrapped my hands around my hair, pulling it out of my face, and tossed up the putrid remnants of the night before. Flushing, I watched as they swirled around the toilet bowl, never to be seen again. I knew better than to drink on an empty stomach.
I rinsed my mouth, splashed cool water on my face and brushed my teeth. I tiptoed out to the hall of my eerily quiet house. Something was different. I could feel it. I knew that feeling. That deep, dark, alone feeling.
The moment I rounded the corner toward the living room, I saw it: an empty sofa and perfectly folded blankets resting on the arm. On top of the linens was a handwritten note:
Thanks for the hospitality. You’re a true gem, and my brother was lucky to have someone like you in his life. Take care and talk to you soon.
Jude
I clutched the letter to my chest then crumpled it, sending it sailing across the room. Jude’s absence hit me harder than it should have. I barely knew him. I had no right missing him already. It felt weird, unsettling. I sunk down on the sofa, right back where I started.
I drew the curtains, shut off my phone, and grabbed a bottle of Ambien, preparing myself for another week in mourning. One week at a time. Large chunks of days that blurred into one another was the only way I could ride this thing out, if that was even possible.
Just as I’d settled into the sofa under a cozy blanket, a knock on the door jarred me back into reality. My heart skipped a beat at the thought that it might be Jude coming back for just one more day. And then I mentally kicked myself for even getting excited about that. It was fifty shades of wrong.
“Carys,” I said, peeking through the curtain. I debated ignoring her for a second before Julian’s voice echoed in my mind, telling me I shouldn’t be alone.
“Up for a visitor?” she asked, taking her normally bubbly personality and dialing it down about ten notches. “I’ve been thinking about you all week, but I wanted to give you some space. Got a little concerned when I hadn’t heard from you since…”
“Since the funeral,” I finished her sentence. “Come inside.”
“Got it dark enough in here?” she said as she kicked off her shoes. “Geez.”
“I was just going to go back to sleep,” I said, watching as she quickly eyed the prescription bottle on the coffee table.
We sat across from each other on the sofa in the dark. If I was in a dark place, Carys was going to be right there with me. That was why I loved her so.
“So, how you been?” she asked carefully.
“This guy came over Wednesday night,” I blurted. “After the funeral.”
“Wait, what?” Carys said.
“Julian’s brother,” I replied.
“I didn’t know he had a brother.”
“Me neither.”
“Was he for real? Like, how do you know?” Carys asked.
“They looked like twins, Carys,” I said. “Except Jude was a little bigger. With dimples. And tattoos.”
“Weird,” Carys said, still taking it in. “Was he nice?”
“Very,” I replied without hesitation. “Kind of protective. He said Julian asked him to look after me.”
“I could see that,” Carys said with a sweet smile. “Julian loved you so much.”
“It was kind of nice having Jude around,” I admitted, biting my nails as I struggled with accepting the fact that my husband just died and I was craving the company of his brother. I couldn’t have Julian, but Jude was almost the next best thing. “In a weird way, it felt like I was hanging out with Julian. But like a more outspoken, badass version.”
“Yeah, Julian was pretty reserved,” Carys agreed.
“Jude is more of a cut-to-the-chase type,” I said. “He doesn’t sugar coat. Julian was more of a piece-the-puzzle-together kind of guy. And that’s great. That’s who he was. That’s the guy I fell in love with.”
“Evie,” Carys stopped me, placing her hand on mine. “You don’t have to compare them.”
I bit my lip. She was right. Why was I doing that? What purpose did that serve?
“It’s interesting, the way you talk about Jude,” she said.
“What are you trying to get at?”
“Nothing,” she said. “Just making a statement.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” I scoffed. “Julian’s been dead less than a week. I’m not falling for his brother. God, I’m not that pathetic.”
“I didn’t say you were,” Carys said, placing her hands in the air in self-defense. “There’s just something different when you talk about him. Like your face sort of lights up.”
“He reminds me of Julian,” I said. “That’s all. I just miss him. I miss Julian.”
My lip trembled and my hands flew up to shield my eyes.
“Evie, Evie,” Carys said scooting over to wrap her bony arms around me. “It’s okay.”
I sobbed into her shoulder as she held me. “He just felt like home, Carys. It was like Julian had come back to me, in a weird way. Only healthier. It sounds so silly to say it out loud…”
“It’s not silly at all.” She rubbed my back. “It’s been a long week, Ev. I’m sure you’re feeling all kinds of confusing things right now.”
I nodded. “I am. I just want to feel normal again.”
“What the hell is ‘normal,’ anyway?” Carys said with a laugh. “There’s no such thing. I will tell you, though, that hiding away in this house all by yourself is not going to make you feel ‘normal’ any time soon. There’s a life outside those doors waiting for you. Your life is not here, alone in this house, treading water, reliving that moment over and over again…”
“I’m the talk of the town right now, Carys,” I huffed. “I don’t even want to go to the grocery store. Whenever I leave the house, people stare and point. I’m sure Caroline’s trashed my name to three-fourths of the town by now.”
“Who the hell cares what anyone says?” Carys defended me, her voice morphing into a shout. “Screw them! Are you living your life for them, or for you?”
I grabbed a tissue and dried my eyes, sucking in a fresh breath. “Wanna move to California?”
“Why California?” Carys asked. She scratched her head before doing a little bounce on the sofa, “Oh, my God. That’s where he lives. The brother.”
A crooked smile curled upon my lips, one I couldn’t have hidden if I’d tried. “I just think it’d be a good change. I need to get out of here. This town has nothing to offer me anymore. Aren’t you tired of the same old thing?”
“But your family’s here, Ev,” Carys said with kind eyes, trying not to quash my dreams too hard. “You’d miss them too much. You’d get homesick and turn around and come home after a day or two.”
“No I wouldn’t,” I insisted. “That’s why I need you there. You’re family to me.”
“It is tempting,” Carys said with a devilish grin. “We need jobs, though. We can’t just up and move.”
“I’m a nurse. I’ll find a job. I’ll support us both until you get something. We can make this work,” I pleaded. “Please? Just think about it.”
Carys sighed and threw me a look that indicated she was on the fence.
“Please?” I begged once more.
“I’ll think about it,” she said, biting her lip.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” I said, leaning over and hugging her.
“So, tell me more about this brother,” she said. “Does he have any hot friends?”
JUDE
“Hey, babe!” Veronica’s half-lit, drunken smile greeted me from the corner booth in our usual restaurant. “Ready to talk shop? I ordered your drink.”
She slid a dirty martini across the table toward me as I slid into the seat
.
“You’re a little, uh, overdressed for the occasion,” I said, giving her a once-over.
“Oh, this old thing?” she said, her red lips twisting into an ornery grin as she fluffed her bright red hair and smoothed down her sparkly black slip dress.
“I thought we were here to discuss work,” I said, eyeing the drink she’d ordered me. “This feels more like a date.”
“Why do we have to label everything?” she pouted as she took a sip of her champagne. She seemed to always celebrate in her own way anytime we were together.
“I’ve been driving all day, V,” I said. “I drink this, I’ll be out cold in thirty minutes.”
She shrugged, smiling. “Don’t worry, babe. I got you tonight. I’ll take care of you.”
Being Veronica’s business partner was exhausting at times, and I was counting down the days until I could buy her out.
“Thirty minutes,” I said. “That’s all I’ve got for you tonight. Don’t know why this couldn’t have waited until Monday.”
“You landed a two-and-a-half million dollar investment!” she squealed. “This can’t wait until Monday. We need to decide what we’re doing with it now! I’ve got my eye on a new Bentley, so our little J-Corp needs to grow, grow, grow.”
“Veronica,” I said, hushing my voice and narrowing my eyes at her. “You on something right now? Uppers?”
She laughed, tossing her head back and shrugging as she pled the Fifth.
“Hold on,” I said, placing my finger in the air as I tugged my vibrating phone out from my jeans pocket. It was Evie. “Hello?”
The hustle and bustle of the restaurant made it damn near impossible to hear her.
“Evie? Hello?” I yelled into the receiver. “I can’t hear you.”
“Jude?” she faintly replied.
“Who is that?” Veronica yelled next to me, slurring her words. “Who’re you talking to, Jude? Tell them we’re busy right now.”
“Evie?” I yelled again. “Hold on, okay? I’m going to go outside.”
I left the restaurant and headed out to the street, but by then she’d hung up. I dialed her back immediately.