by DeLuca, Gia
“Don’t be so needy.” I breezed past her and got in the car. I wasted no time starting it off and peeling away, leaving her in a cloud of exhaust as we sped away.
“What was that about?” Evie said. I felt her careful eyes on me. “Does she really have cancer?”
“Apparently.”
“She said she had breast cancer last year, right after Julian and I were married, but we didn’t believe her,” Evie said, reaching her hand over to take mine.
“Serves her right,” I said through gritted teeth.
“Jude,” Evie said sternly.
“Which way to your parents’ house again?” I asked, changing the subject. As far as I was concerned, Caroline was officially dead to me, and thank God for that.
EVIE
Jax and Carys’ wedding day was nothing short of extravagant. Hydrangeas, peonies, and lilacs sat pretty in milky pink vases in every corner of the reception hall in elaborate, look-at-me displays. Tables housed gold leafed china atop white linens as crystal goblets and polished silver topped the look. A string quartet played ceremony music while a live band was set up and ready to go for the reception.
I scanned the seats outside as I waited for the ceremony to start. Jude stood next to me, filling out every inch of his gray linen suit. With a fresh shave and haircut, he looked like a million bucks, and the dimpled smile he flashed me the second he saw me in my bridesmaid dress made me weak in the knees.
The sky was clear and the sun was shining. A light May breeze rustled the leaves of the palms outside.
“Places!” the wedding coordinator barked as she rushed between the members of the wedding party, mumbling something into her mouthpiece.
I stood next to Jude, slipping my arm into his elbow as he nudged me. The second the string quartet began to play, we took our places and marched, one couple at a time, down the aisle.
I fought tears as Jax and Carys exchanged the most beautiful handwritten vows I’d ever heard, and every once in a while I snuck in a look at Jude from across the way. Standing tall with his hands folded in front of him, he was all business, sexy and serious.
The moment Carys and Jax exchanged rings and were pronounced man and wife, he scooped her up and carried her down the aisle, proudly showing her off for all the world to see. Her lithe frame was nothing in his arms as her thin arm hooked around the back of his shoulders, holding him tight. I giggled quietly as I knew Carys was secretly annoyed at being carried like that. She hated tradition, but she did a great job at hiding it.
I walked forward, meeting Jude at the foot of the altar and taking his arm as we followed the wedding party.
“Everyone, if I could have your attention,” the lead singer of the wedding band boomed over the microphone as people began piling into the reception hall. The room grew quiet except for some clinking of silverware and guests who couldn’t help but continue chatting away. “Food will be served shortly. Please find your seats. We’re going to begin with a toast to the bride and groom, starting with the best man.”
Jude stood up from his place at the head table, mic in hand, and cleared his throat.
“Jax. Carys.” He turned toward them, one hand in his pocket. “I’ve known Jax for a very long time. He’s like a brother to me. I can’t say how honored I am that I was chosen to stand next to you on this important day. You have the sort of crazy, passionate love most of us should be so lucky to experience someday, and I hope you don’t ever lose that.”
He lifted his drink and the room filled with a reserved clapping as he handed me the microphone.
“I’m Evie Garner-Willoughby,” I said, as if my last name would hold any clout in that crowd. “I’ve known Carys since we were kids. The moment I met Jax, I knew they’d be perfect for each other, and against both their wishes, I set them up on an informal blind date.”
I cringed on the inside, my face growing hot. I wasn’t a wordsmith like Jude. I didn’t have an ounce of the breezy confidence he oozed from every pore.
“Take care of her, Jax,” I continued. “And Carys, take care of him, too. Remember to be forgiving and gracious to one another, and never give up. Even on your hardest days. Love you guys.”
I raised my glass, face glowing red as all eyes released me from their gaze and turned upon the beaming bride and groom. Applause consumed the air.
“That was sweet,” Carys whispered after she’d turned to me. She placed a hand over mine. “Thank you.”
The moment the dinner wrapped up, Jax and Carys took up residence in the center of the dance floor as the band played their version of Van Morrison’s Someone Like You and Jude slipped over to Carys’ empty seat.
“Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?” he asked me.
I ducked down. With my blush dress, my spray tan, and my fancy hair and makeup, I felt pretty. But it was good to hear it, too.
“You’re not so bad yourself,” I said, drinking in the handsome man sitting before me. I bit my lip as I imagined the ripples of his muscles underneath his gray jacket. Oh, the things I planned to do to him that night…
The song finished and the bandleader announced the wedding party dance.
“May I have this dance?” Jude said, standing up and placing his hand out for mine.
***
The blackout shades of our hotel room were much appreciated the following morning. My feet ached from dancing all night. My mouth ached from smiling for a thousand photos. My stomach growled. I squinted at the alarm clock on the bedside table. A quarter to ten. We needed to check out soon.
Jude rested peacefully, his tan skin contrasting against the white pillow in the darkness of the room. I grazed the side of his face with my hand, unable to resist touching him, and then I traced my finger down his rigid jaw, across his perfect pillowed lips, and down the ripples and bends of his muscular chest.
“Evie,” he groaned. I’d woken him.
“I couldn’t resist,” I said coyly, a mischievous smile in my voice.
His lips twisted into a smile as he slipped his hand behind my hips and pulled me into him. I could taste champagne remnants on my breath from the night before, and Jude’s cologne and aftershave were still going strong, radiating off his warm skin.
“What time is it?” he mumbled, the vibration of his voice tickling my ear.
“Almost ten,” I said. “We have to check out in an hour. Go back to sleep for a bit. I’m going to order us some breakfast and jump in the shower.”
I slid a foot out onto the floor, but Jude’s strong arm quickly pulled me back under the covers. In the dark of the room, it felt like night, but I could still see the shimmer of his champagne eyes as he pulled me into him.
“Want to go to the beach after this?” he asked, his gaze searching mine, but for what, I didn’t know.
***
I kicked my shoes off and let the warm sand filter between my toes. Jude laid out on a navy blue beach towel, his face covered by his hat. Something about being outside and in touch with nature grounded me and brought peace to my soul. It was the only thing that ever made sense to me, and every time I made that connection, I always wondered why I didn’t spend more time outdoors.
The ocean air left salt on my tongue and my hair became entangled with each passing gust of wind as the sun warmed my fair skin. For the first time in almost a year, everything felt right again. I laid down on my towel next to Jude and watched the rise and fall of his chest as the waves crashed along the shore.
The beach was bare. According to Jude, seventy-five degrees was chilly for the Malibu locals, but to Kansas natives like us, it felt perfect.
I scooted closer to him, slipping my arm around his waist and trying not to disturb him. With my head resting on the round camber of his shoulder, I inhaled his musky scent. It had quickly become my favorite smell in the entire world: a perfect blend of cedar, patchouli, and bergamot mixed with lemongrass bar soap and coconut suntan oil. Heaven on earth.
Jude roused from his catnap and sat up. �
��Hey.”
“Hi,” I said, flashing him a smile as I tried to see his sparkling eyes behind his pitch black Ray Bans.
“Want to go for a walk?”
“Sure.” I stood and dusted the sand off my legs, reaching for his hand and tugging him up. He pulled me close as we trudged along the sandy shore, each step taking us closer the the lapping waves of cool ocean water.
I shielded my eyes as I glanced up at him, his chocolate hair parted on the side and slicked over and his tan growing darker by the minute. He looked like a Ken doll, or an extra from a 1960s beach movie.
“Why are you staring at me?” he asked.
“Because you’re really, really hot,” I said with a giggle.
He smiled and shook his head, running his fingers through my hair playfully. “I like your hair like this, by the way.”
I’d let my hair dry naturally that morning, opting not to fight my natural wave, and the salty sea air had already done a number on it.
“Look at this shell,” I said, stopping to pick up a pearlescent peach conch sticking up from the sand. “It’s huge.”
“Don’t see those every day,” he said.
I peered inside, making sure it was vacated, and pressed it up against my ear.
“Can you hear the ocean?” he asked.
“I think so,” I said, concentrating. “Or I might just be hearing the real ocean. Here, you try.”
I spun around to hand him the conch shell, only he was no longer at my level. He was down on one knee, staring up at me with a smile consuming his face.
“What’s this?” I said, my hand flying to my mouth. I bit my lip in an effort to stifle the smile that wanted to take over.
“Evie,” he said, reaching up and grabbing my left hand. “I love you so much. I don’t ever want to lose you again. I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else. Be mine. Forever. Marry me?”
I was speechless as I stood, mouth gaping, staring into his gorgeous hazel eyes. I wanted to scream “yes” and jump up and down like a crazy person, but instead I froze. I wanted to remember that moment forever: the way he was looking at me, his earnest, hopeful, wild-eyed expression, and the amount of sheer love that spilled over my body and warmed me from head to toe.
“I don’t have a ring,” he confessed. “Not yet. This wasn’t exactly planned.”
I smiled, nodding and pulling him up to a standing position. He wrapped his arms around my waist, picking me up off the ground and swinging me around.
“Yes!” I finally shouted as the words found their way out of my mouth. “I’ll marry you.”
He kissed me hard and sat me back down, beaming. I’d never seen him so happy.
“I don’t know what came over me,” he said, studying my face as if he couldn’t bear to look away. “Just seeing you there today, toes in the sand, wind blowing your hair… something clicked inside me. And after everything we’ve been through and seeing how happy Jax and Carys are, I just can’t let you get away again. What we have is real, Evie. Don’t ever leave me again.”
I leaned in to him, pressing my head against his beating heart as the cool water kissed our feet.
“I’ll get you a ring,” he said as we turned to walk back. “We can go ring shopping tomorrow, if you want.”
“I’m not worried about the ring,” I said, interlacing my fingers with his, the familiarity of the conversation bearing a striking resemblance to the one I’d had with Julian once.
“I don’t want you to go too long without one,” he added. “I want the whole world to know you’re taken.”
I smiled and blinked away a tear. He loved me just as much as Julian did, and in a weird sort of way, it was almost like Julian was reminding me of his love through Jude. I refused to let this love slip through my fingers again.
Another month would bring the anniversary of Julian’s death. In some ways, it felt like yesterday, but in other ways, it was a lifetime ago. That chapter of my life had come and gone in the blink of an eye, those fleeting moments residing forever in the deepest part of my soul. My future was in the man standing before me, of that I could be certain, and in a strange twist of fate, Julian had been the one to set us up. I’d never be sure, but I’d always wonder if he knew exactly what he was doing all along.
JULIAN
Death has a funny way of putting things in perspective. When you know you’re dying, you give up hope that you can ever have an ordinary life. You spend your days waiting for your number to be called. You know better than to make plans for the future, and you never make a promise you can’t keep.
But for six months of my twenty-four years, I had an ordinary life. I lived. I laughed. I married the love of my short little life, and I’d never felt more alive than I did when I was with her.
I couldn’t promise her forever, but I could promise her she’d always be loved. She’d never have to want for a thing. She was the only person who had ever shown me unconditional love, and she was the only person who could ever truly love the unlovable.
There was only one other man on earth who could appreciate her love the way I did, and there was only one other man on earth who could love her the way I did. They needed each other, and from up here, I could see that they were always supposed to end up together.
I feel her sometimes, where I am. It’s usually nighttime and she’s lying in bed. A memory of our short time together creeps into the corner of her mind, bringing tears to her eyes. And I watch as Jude silently holds her tight, knowing there’s still a gaping hole in her heart where her undying love for me will unobtrusively reside the rest of her days. She’s the most beautiful woman in the entire world, and sometimes I still can’t believe she was ever mine. I’d give anything to have one more day on earth with her, one final day to spend in the park or lying in bed together as the sun comes up, holding her, kissing her, breathing her in. It’s always the little things I miss the most.
Although I died almost a year ago, I’ve never left her side for very long. Whether or not she knew it, she was never truly alone. I was there when she fell in love with Jude. I was there as she roamed the streets of Paris. I was there when Jude proposed to her on the sandy shores of southern California. I’ll be there when they say their vows. They don’t know it yet, but they’ll marry in the courtyard of a sprawling villa in the Tuscan hills. Carys will be there, and Jax too, and Evie’s family. And Jamison.
I’ll be there when they find out they’re pregnant, and I’ll be there when they welcome their sweet baby girl with bright eyes the color of the ocean and Jude’s trademark dimples. They’ll name her Juliana as a nod to me, and they’ll call her Jules.
And after that, I’ll leave them be, knowing that everything turned out exactly the way it was supposed to. I’ll check in again from time to time, but I’ll never stay for long. They say I have work to do up here, and they promise I’ll see her again someday.
Gia DeLuca is a modern day Carrie Bradshaw (if Carrie Bradshaw had three small children, two dogs, a sitcom-dad of a husband, and lived in the suburbs far, far away from the romantic city streets of Manhattan). A daydream believer, Gia is never without an idea in her heart or a song in her head. When she’s not busy tending to her littles, she can be found working on her next book. And when she’s not working, you just might find her curling up with a good book (or a really trashy reality show).
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Dear Reader,
I cannot thank you enough for reading my book! I sincerely hope that you enjoyed it, that you were thoroughly entertained, and that it swept you away to another place and time for a few hours. If you could be so kind as to leave me a review on Amazon, I’d be over the moon! It just takes a few seconds – pull up the product page, scroll down to the review section, and click on “write a customer review”. Voila! I read them all and take them all to heart.
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Gia
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
I’d like to specially thank the people who made this series possible. First of all, Beth M – you’ve taught me more in the last two months than I ever learned in any creative writing classes in college. You’re tough as nails, brutally honest, and everything I need in a beta reader. I’m so grateful our paths crossed!
To my inner circle of highly talented people – Celeste, Dan, Carolyn, and Katrina. You guys are the best! And a shout out to my writer’s group – my favorite virtual place to hang out and procrastinate…
Thank you to my editor, Nora, with Wyrmwood Editing! Your eagle eyes and honesty are one in a million!
Shout out to Arijana Karcic with Cover It! Your work is brilliant, beautiful, and definitely worth the wait!
Thanks to one of my besties, Brandi, for answering all my medical questions and for coming up with the perfect diagnosis to inflict upon my tragic hero!
Thank you to my beautiful mother, who watches my little ones so I can write three days a week. I don’t know what I’d do without you. Seriously. I love you! And thanks to my dad! I don’t care how old I am, your support will always mean the world to me.
Finally, thank you to my wonderful husband for keeping me in check, being patient with me, letting me ramble on and bounce ideas off you, and for believing in me when I told you about my dream. I appreciate everything you do, and nothing goes unnoticed. Love you, love you, love you.