"I know, Bari. I know."
"Why do you always say that?"
"What?"
"I know, Bari. I know."
He started laughing.
"Stop doing my voice like that! That's not how I sound!" We laughed our way out of the store. "Are you hungry?"
"Yes. I think so."
"You think so?"
"I'm not sure. Sometimes, I don't know I'm hungry until I start eating."
"You are crazy," he laughed. "But I guess that makes sense." His cell phone rang for the hundredth time. "Yeah, she's with me. No, she ain't going back, man. Trish is trippin'. Did you get the box for her? Alright."
"Did he get it?" I asked anxiously.
He nodded.
"He'll bring it by later. So, how do you like my house? What do you think of it?
Do you think it's cheesy?"
"No!" I laughed. "I love it. It's nice, and it's comfortable."
"If you're so comfortable there, then why are you in such a rush to leave?"
"I'm in a hurry to get my own life started, not to get away from you. I just feel like a lot is missing in my life. I'm anxious to find out what it is."
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
"Do you have a girlfriend?"
"Do you?"
"Do you?"
"Just answer. Do you?"
"No."
"What happened? Did you guys break up?"
"I never had one."
“Never?"
"Never. What about you?"
"I had a girlfriend. She's with someone else now."
"Oh. Sorry."
"I ain't trippin'. So, what do you want to eat?" He asked, strapping himself into his truck.
"I don't know."
"Bari, every time I ask you something, you answer with you don't know. You're gonna have to learn to make decisions for yourself. Now, if you don't pick something, we're just gonna sit here."
And sit we did. Fifteen minutes passed then thirty.
"Will you just go someplace, please?"
"No. Make up your mind."
“I can't."
He didn't respond. He just sat there staring straight ahead. I reached over and turned on the radio. He turned it off.
"We gon' sit here, in silence, 'til you make up your mind. I ain't playing." Another thirty minutes passed. "Bari."
“I don't know!"
"Well, what do you feel like eating? It's not that hard."
"If it's so easy then you pick something.”
"That's not the point. The point is for you to have your own mind and make your own decisions."
"Okay. I know what I want."
"It's about damn time!" he said, starting his truck.
We made four stops on the way home. I could tell he was disappointed when we got back to his house, and he glared at me and slammed his door. I set the two bags I had in my hands, one from a Chinese restaurant and the other from a barbecue place, on the kitchen table. He dropped the pizza and the Mexican food bags next to the other two, then just stared at me. We went back out and made another trip to bring in all the bags of clothes and shoes.
"I can't believe you just did that, Bari."
"I'm sorry. I couldn't make up my mind."
"You're so used to your ideas for things being shot down that you've just stopped thinking for yourself."
"Well, when I live alone I won't have to worry about that, will I?"
He shook his head.
"That's not the point. The point is...never mind. You'll learn," he said. "And you owe me. You were supposed to cook."
"Tomorrow."
"Oh, you sure made up your mind about that one quick," he laughed. I acted like I didn't know what he was talking about. "What do you want on your plate?"
"Ribs, some Egg Fu Yung, a burrito and the pizza with the pineapple on it."
"Are you serious? You are gonna be so sick tomorrow. And do you see what I mean? You got four different countries sittin' on my damn table when you could have just picked one. That's ridiculous. And it's not good for you."
"Thank you father," I said sarcastically.
"Whatever,” he said irritably, then began to eat. I smiled. "What?"
"Nothing."
I was watching him watch me with all my taste of each culture.
"You jealous?" I asked.
"Hell naw!" He said, but I knew he was lying.
"Here," I said, putting a little of everything on his plate. "Hater," I mumbled.
"I heard you!" He laughed, then took small bites of everything on his plate. "Alright. You win.
This shit is the bomb!" We both laughed. "I guess you knew what you were talking about."
"I guess I did."
"But still."
“I know, Darshon. I know." I said seriously.
We looked at each other and started laughing.
"You got me." The ringing of the phone snapped us back to reality. "Hello? I don't think she wants to talk to you, Trish. I'll see." I shook my head. "Nope. She doesn't ...not yet," he said, dropping his voice down to where I could barely hear.
He hung up the phone, then sat looking at me.
"What?" I asked.
"Nothing. Look, I have to go out for a minute, but I'll be back in a little while."
"You can't leave me here by myself!"
"It'll just be for a little while."
"Where are you going? Why do you have to go now?"
"Bari, hold on. I have to go pick up your box."
"Why can't I go with you?"
"Because you can't. I'm going to Trish's," he snapped. "And stop asking me all them damn questions. I said I'll be right back."
He got up from the table, grabbed his jacket and snatched up the keys to his truck. He was gone just like that. I cleared the table, put left over food in the refrigerator, put the dishes in the dishwasher, then took a bath and went to bed.
Chapter 13
"Hey, baby. You sleep good?" Darshon asked, coming into the kitchen.
I didn't answer. I didn't think he could possibly be talking to me. Baby?
"Are you talking to me, Darshon?"
"Do you see anybody else?"
I must be over reacting.
"I slept fine, thanks."
"Here's your stuff," he walked over to the table and picked it up, then brought it to me.
"Thank you so much!" I said excitedly. "You don't know how much I appreciate this."
"Don't trip. It was no problem," he smiled. "What'chu makin'?" He asked, taking a seat on a stool at the counter.
"I know. You're starving," I laughed.
"Yeah."
"My debt is paid," I said, setting a plate with steak, eggs, hash browns, grits and three pieces of cheese toast in front of him.
"Damn. This shit looks good. I didn't know my baby could get down like this."
I ignored the comment and proceeded to clean up my mess.
"I need to use your phone, a."
He didn't respond at first. I noticed he stopped chewing and just stared down into his plate.
"Who do you want to call?"
The question threw me back briefly, but I recovered quickly.
"Can I use your phone or not? Even if I was to tell you who it was, it's not like you know them."
“Where is your phone, Bari?
“Trish took it from me.”
"Where were you when I called last night?" He asked so quietly I barely heard him.
"I went to bed after you left, and even if I was up and heard the phone, I wouldn't answer your phone unless you had specifically told me to. But what time did you call?"
"What time did you hear the phone ring?"
"I didn't hear the phone ring. Ya know what, Darshon? Forget it.."
"There's a phone in your room."
"I know."
"So, how did you not hear it? It sits on the damn night stand. The mutha fuckin' phone was practically sitting on top of your head!"
What was wrong with him?
/>
"I guess I just slept really hard."
"Oh, you just slept really hard. Sounds good."
"Where's a phone booth, please?"
I was getting tired of this really fast.
"You're not going to no damn phone booth. Just tell me who you wanna call."
"My grandmother."
His whole attitude changed.
"Why didn't you say that, Bari?" He laughed. "You be trippin'. Use that one right there," he said, pointing to one not two feet away from him. "Go ahead," he said, a little too forcefully for me.
I looked at him strangely but picked up the phone and dialed the number.
"Big Mama, is that you?"
"Bari? Baby, it's me, Big Mama! You alright?"
"I'm fine, Big Mama. I just-"
"Hold on! Somebody wants to talk to you," she said anxiously.
"Bari! What's up, girl? You just don't know ya Uncle Meestake no more, do you?"
"Oh my God! How have you been? Why didn't you come to the funeral? How come you didn't write? I've missed you so much!" I smiled.
Darshon was watching me with a very strange look on his face. He looked angry, but maybe it's like he said, I could be tripping."
"You be good, girl, you hear ya Uncle Meestake talkin' to ya?"
"I love you!" I laughed happily.
"Bari, it's your Paw-Paw." He sounded older. His once booming voice sounded weak and high pitched. Tears formed in my eyes. I wiped them away. "Bari, I want you to come home and see ya Paw-Paw. I ain't got long, Bari."
"I love you so, so much, and I promise I'll come. Anything for you. Just hold on, okay? I'll be there." I was crying openly.
The pain in my heart was immense.
"Bari, when can you come? I have so much to tell you. Things you should have known a long time ago. Maybe I should tell you now. I just don't know how long I'm gon' be around. Hold on, let me take a sip of water. My throat gets so dry." His already raspy voice was turning into a whisper. “Bari…”
"I'm here. I'm listening."
"Bari, I love you, and I just want you to know-" the phone went dead.
"Hello! Are you there? Please answer me!" I screamed. "Darshon, your phone is..." . He had disconnected me from Paw Paw. "Why did you do that?" I asked through clenched teeth.
"Who the fuck was that?"
"My grandfather!"
"Save that bullshit, Bari! Who the fuck was you talkin' to!" I looked at him in confusion. This wasn't happening. "Hang up the phone."
I set the phone back in its cradle.
"I have to call him back."
"Puh-leeze. You really are trippin’.”
"Fine. Like I said, I can go to a phone booth."
I headed towards the front door. He sat where he was. I reached the front door and turned the knob. It didn't tum. I looked back at him, and he laughed.
"If you can get that door open, you're for real one bad bitch."
"What is wrong with you? He's dying. I need to talk to him!"
"Come here, Bari."
"Let me out of here."
"Get yo' ass over here, Bari! I ain't playin' wit' yo’ stupid ass! You an ignorant ass bitch! You startin' to piss me off. You gon' make me fuck yo’ ass up! Now, get the fuck over here."
I walked slowly back to where he was. That old familiar hate for the distributors of years of verbal abuse was rising in my throat. Darshon was now added to the list.
Chapter 14
I never experienced the kind of excruciating pain that I was in right now. I hated Darshon. I hated him for keeping me away from Paw-Paw. I hated him for the words he used with me. I hated him for taking away what I had saved sixteen years and intended to save for the man I would one day marry.
"Baby, are you okay?" I pretended to be asleep. "Bari?"
He kissed my forehead. I waited until he left the room, then I sat up in the bed. I looked down between my legs. A red circular stain was on the green silk sheet. I lay there for another hour or so, thinking of what to do. I couldn't use the phone. I couldn't leave. I didn't know what to do.
"Did you sleep good?" He asked, coming in with food on a tray.
The last thing I wanted to do was eat. The smell of the food made my stomach turn. I fought the urge to throw up. I glanced at the clock on the night stand. It was five o'clock in the afternoon.
"Seven and Trish are coming over tonight. I know you don't want to see that bitch.”
Why was he talking to me like nothing had happened?
"I need to take a bath."
"You don't want to eat anything?" I didn't answer, just glared at him. "Ay, tomorrow is my birthday. I'll be nineteen. We can do whatever you want to do.''
"Good, we can kill you together. Are you gonna help me get the hell out of here? You said you'd help me get emancipated.''
"See Bari, that's what I be talking about. You are so damn naive. Do I look like I know about some shit like getting emancipated?" He laughed. "It might seem fucked up right now, but later on, you'll thank me for this shit."
"I hate you. You're no different from Trish and everybody else."
"I ain't nothing like that bitch."
"If you say so. Like I said, I need to take a bath."
"I'm not stopping you."
I got up, went and took an hour long bath, then came out to find him cleaning the room. He had changed the sheets on the bed. The ones he had put on had the letter G all over them. Gucci. Just like Trish.
"Bari."
"What?"
"I'm sorry about earlier. I don't know what happened. I really like you, and I'm sorry if I hurt you. I just got carried away."
I looked at him for a long time.
"Save it."
"I'll make it up to you. I promise. Okay, baby?"
"I really wish you wouldn't call me that. I don't even like you."
"Why not?"
"I did at first. Up until this morning, you were probably one of the nicest people I've ever known. I don't think that anymore."
"I'm sorry for lying to you."
"Sure you are."
The doorbell rang, saving me from any further conversation with this animal. I stayed where I was. We weren't a couple. We didn't have to greet people together. I went in the room and closed the door behind me. I was alone for about five minutes before Darshon called me.
"Bari! Come down here!"
I walked slowly down the stairs. I glared at Trish when I entered the living room.
"Bari! How have you been?" She asked, standing up to hug me. I walked right by her. "So Bari, do you think you might want to come back home?"
"She ain't coming back," Darshon said, before I could answer.
I was damned both ways.
"I was talking to Bari. Not you," she snapped. "Bari?"
"Never."
"Fine. Stay here. You'll regret it. And Darshon, while you're playing Captain Save-A-Ho, did you tell Bari our little secret?"
"Shut up, Trish," Darshon ordered.
She wasn't happy with being told to shut up, but she got quiet anyway.
"Ay, Darkie, let's go talk."
Darshon stood up and looked at me.
"It'll be okay, baby. I'll be right back."
For some reason, even with all he had done, I still felt safer from Trish when I was in his presence.
"So Bari, what have you been up to?" She asked. "Oh, before I forget, your Paw-Paw died. That lady you call Big Mama called me about thirty minutes ago. She was at the hospital. She had said he wanted to talk to you. Anyway, she had called like four times. I kept telling her you weren't there. Then I realized that she must have thought you were still living with me. Ain't that a trip? Well, I told her you live with some dude you met about a week ago."
"Why didn't you call here?" I cried.
"You never asked me to forward your calls, but out of the kindness of my heart, I called here and told your boyfriend, whether he told you or not," she said sarcastically. I felt like my heart was breaking. "Awww, poor Ba
ri," she teased. "Poor Bari's old ass Paw-Paw died."
"Trish, bitch, shut the fuck up,” Seven said, as he and Darshon rounded the corner and came into the living room. "What did you do to her?"
"She'll be alright. Come on, baby," Darshon said, trying to pull me into his arms.
"Get the hell away from me!" I screamed. "This is all your damn fault you black son-of-a-bitch! You hung up on Paw-Paw while I was talking to him! You knew he was dying!"
"Girl, shut up! You wit' that bullshit. I didn't know you was talking to him,” he said lamely, looking at his brother, who was glaring back and forth from Darshon to Trish.
"Is that the secret Trish was talking about?" Seven asked quietly.
"This bitch don't know what the fuck she talkin' about!" Darshon yelled. "I'm telling you, Bari, you better shut the fuck up!"
"Trish-" Seven began.
"Man, we was talkin' about something else!" Darshon yelled.
"I ain't mutha fuckin' talking to you! I'm talking to Trish. And bitch, you bet' not lie," he said.
The room was silent. My sobs had turned to mere sniffles.
"Th-that ain't what it was." I watched with my mouth hanging open as Seven calmly back- slapped Trish. Blood gushed from her lips. "Baby, I ain't lyin'!" She cried.
"Bitch, I ain't your baby," he snapped. He looked at Darshon.
"Yeah, she lyin’. That is what the secret was! I don't know why the bitch sittin' there lyin' to you, bro."
He looked at them both in disgust.
"Bari," Seven turned his attention towards me. "You need to leave here. What are you staying here for?" I looked at Darshon. He gave me a silent warning. Seven caught it. "Don't look at him, look at me. Why are you staying here?"
I was scared to death, but I knew this might be my only chance.
"He won't let me leave," I whispered.
"It was Trish's idea!" Darshon yelled, standing up and pointing in her direction.
Trish just sat there saying nothing, staring at the carpet.
"I don't give a fuck whose idea it was," Seven said. "You mutha fuckas are sick."
"He's lying!" Trish finally spat out.
"I ain't lyin'!" Darshon argued.
"He was in on it, too!" Trish yelled, stabbing a long red French manicured nail close to Darshon's eye. "And Bari, Bitch, quit with the innocent shit! You had sex with him! So, you ain't that damn kidnapped!"
Crazy In Love With A Thug: Bari and Seven Page 5