Crazy In Love With A Thug: Bari and Seven

by LaDonna Robinson

  "You mad, Milkshake?" I didn't answer. "What if I told you that I'm about to make it up to you in a big way?"

  And make up for it he did, quite a few times. When I finally laid down, intent on going to sleep, it came quickly. I was walking around dreamland like I owned the place when my eyes suddenly popped open.

  "Seven, what are you doing?"

  "You can go back to sleep, baby," he said, looking up at me. "Don't let me disturb you."

  Disturb me, hell. Sleep could wait. Seven held the key to the prison my leprechaun was being held captive in. I couldn't wait for his parole to come through. Without my leprechaun, there was no rainbow, no gold, no nothing. No matter how hard I thought about it, I couldn't figure out why in hell the bitch Dorothy would want to leave all those bright colors in the land of Oz and return to drab ass Kansas to the land of black and white. I saw every color in the Crayola’s sixty four count box flash before my eyes as I held a handful of dreadlocks in one hand and handful of sheet in the other.

  Seven lay on his back with a content smile on his face. I kissed his lips and slowly swung my leg over his hips, taking my time lowering myself down on him. Every time he touched me, I started over. It was sheer torture, and I enjoyed it immensely. Power. Finally, I had power. I was in a rodeo. I was competing with some of the best cowboys from the state of Texas. I used my thigh muscles to keep me upright on my bronco. My blue first place ribbon was now in sight. I squeezed my legs tighter around my bronco's sides. There wasn't no way in hell I was going to let myself be thrown off. I had to get my blue ribbon. I wouldn't let nobody beat me out of my blue ribbon. And first place goes to...

  "Damn, Milkshake," Seven said, completely out of breath.

  Poor Seven, he had created a monster.

  Chapter 28

  I sat in the marble tub with a ton of bubbles surrounding me and the water as hot as I could possibly stand it. I considered having Seven call and cancel our plans with his parents. I was so sore I could hardly sit without extreme discomfort. My legs were sore. My neck was sore. My stomach was sore. It seemed that even my hair was sore. When the water cooled down I let some of it go down the drain and refilled it with more hot water.

  "Milkshake, you alright?" Seven asked, sticking his head in the door.

  I nodded.

  "I'm okay. Are you?" I countered. He laughed, then just stood there looking at me. "Come on, Seven."

  He smiled and slipped off his boxers, then climbed into the tub behind me. I leaned back against his chest.

  "You're sore as hell huh, Milkshake?" He asked, wrapping his arms around me.

  I was wishing we could stay that way all day when he reminded me that it was already eleven o'clock, and his parents would be there at one.

  "You want me to call?"

  "No, I'll be okay."

  "You're sure?"

  I nodded.

  "And quit smiling like that, Seven," I said, and smiled myself.

  "Damn Milkshake, I ain't gon' lie. I knew it would be the bomb, but damn. I wasn't expecting that."

  "What is 'that'?"

  "You, all that. You woke me up four different times last night, and that was after I woke you up the first time. Damn."

  "Does that include the times I didn't even bother to wake you up?" I asked.

  "What! Are you serious, Bari?"

  "I'm dead serious."

  "No wonder you're walking like you was in a rodeo last night." Only I knew why I had laughed so hard at that. "What, baby?"

  "Nothing," I said, leaning my head to the side so he could kiss my neck, and once he started, there wasn't no stopping him.

  He lifted me up and sat me on the edge of the tub. Look out green fields of Ireland, here I come.

  "Milkshake, Milkshake, Milkshake," Seven said when I walked into the living room.

  He was laying on the couch in a pair of tan velour Louis sweatpants and a black wife beater.

  "What, baby?" I smiled. "You miss me already?" I asked, stretching my body out on top of his.

  "I don't mean no disrespect, Bari, but if I had known it would be like this, we would have been did it."

  "I thought you said I wasn't ready."

  "I still believe that you weren't in the beginning, but it seems like you've been just waiting on me all this time, instead of the other way around. I take that back."

  ''Take what back?"

  "What I said at first, that we would have been did it. I don't regret waiting. Timing is everything, and it was perfect. I'm glad we waited. I've damn sure never done no shit like that before."

  "Like what?"

  "Waited on nobody, but I've never loved nobody the way I love you, Bari., for real."

  I kissed his lips.

  "I love you, too, Seven."

  I kissed him again, and again, and again.

  "Baby, where you goin'?" He asked, as I slid down and kissed his stomach and kept going. "Bari." I ignored him. No time to talk. "Damn, baby," he whispered.

  We had just gotten up when the doorbell rang.

  “I brought Red Snapper, Buffalo, a smoked salmon, here's some King Crab, some lobster tails, some jumbo shrimp and some of the thickest steaks you ever laid eyes on, all flew in from Jamaica," Major informed me.

  "You brought the whole meal, but we bought stuff, too."

  "Oh, and this is tartar sauce and steak sauce."

  I took the bag from him and unloaded the stuff onto the counter.

  "Thanks, Major. Hi, Birdie."

  "Hey, Bari. My husband is crazy," she said, shaking her head. I was staring at a bag of lobster tails that were the size of my foot. "Can you believe that?"

  "Not really," I laughed.

  "Are you alright? You're walking like your back is hurting you."

  "I'm okay. Thank you. I worked out last night, and I think I kind of overdid it."

  "You better take it easy, Bari," Major said. "Now, guess what old Maja got for ya."

  "What?" I asked excitedly.

  Seven smiled.

  "This!"

  He reached into a bag and pulled out a giant shell, bigger than my head. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

  "It's so big! I love it! Thank you! It's beautiful!"

  I took the shell and set it in the middle of the dining room table.

  "Maja found that shell himself, deep down at the bottom of the waters of Jamaica," he said.

  My mouth dropped in awe.

  "Really?" I asked, wide eyed.

  "He's telling the truth," Birdie confirmed. "He found it last year when we went to visit his family. I still don't see how he made it to the surface with that thing," she laughed.

  "Major, does your father wear locks too?" I asked curiously.

  "Sure does, Bari." It was strange to me how at times his English was perfect, and at others you could barely understand a word he said. "All the men in my family wear dreads, except Darshon. I started Seven's dreads when he was eighteen years old, started from the scalp, hardly no hair at all and now look at them."

  He gave his son a loving clap on the back.

  "Where is Darkie?" Seven asked.

  "Jamaica," Major answered nonchalantly.

  "What!"

  "Yep, and we made sure he was picked up and taken directly to the Grand’s house."

  "The Grands, are they friends of yours?" I asked.

  "No Bari," Birdie smiled. "The Grands are Seven and Darshon's grandparents. Seven calls them Grands."

  "For how long, Dad?"

  "'Til he learns some respect for his family and for himself. So, look at it this way. You may not ever see your brotha again," Major laughed.

  Seven didn't look amused though.

  "Dad, you didn't do nothing but send his ass on vacation."

  "Oh no, son. You got old Maja all wrong. Darshon will be working in the fields."

  "I don't care if he got a job herding tarantulas. He's gonna have the time of his life. You know how the Grands spoil us."

  "No, Seven," Bir
die intervened. "How they spoil you. You know first-hand how the Grands are about respect, especially towards their only son. You know how they feel about Major. He’s working under the supervision of Uncle Teodore," they all shared conspiratory smiles.

  "Teodore or Theodore?" I asked.

  "Teodore," Seven said. "He's my great uncle; meanest man on the Island, owns half of it and thinks the other half is his, too. He lives in an eighteen room mansion and has like twenty-two cars. He's like the Donald Trump of the Islands."

  "And Darshon is living there?" I asked.

  "Oh no, Bari," Birdie said. "Darshon is there as a worker. He'll live in a hut like the rest of the field workers. He'll start at the bottom pay and work his way up, and some of that money has to go to Uncle Teodore. After all, all the workers have to pay to live on his land. This will do Darshon good. He has to learn responsibility, and before Major has his ass carted off to jail, he agreed to try it this way. It took a lot of persuasion to get Major to agree to this."

  "How long will he be there?" Seven asked.

  "Until Uncle Teodore decides it's time,” Major answered. “Now, enough of this idle chit chat. I'm ready to get started. I've been waiting on this all week, especially since Birdie ate up all that food you fixed for me last weekend. Got up in the middle of the night and cleaned me out," he laughed.

  "Yes Bari, I awoke in the middle of the night to a plate filled with hen bones and one lowly yam. Not to mention, he made me drive home that night, so he could eat on the way."

  "Seven," Major began. "You're in charge of melting the but'ta."

  I laughed.

  "Dad! I'm not a six year old that needs to feel like I'm helping out. This is you and Bari's thing. Me and Mom relaxin' today." he said, stretching his arms high in the air in an exaggerated stretch.

  "Sounds good to me," Birdie agreed.

  "Fine. You don't help old Maja cook, you don't help old Maja eat. This is me and Bari's thing."

  "Well, where's the butter?" Seven asked impatiently.

  I started laughing.

  We ate and ate, until we couldn't possibly eat anymore. Just when I thought I would surely wake up as a shrimp the next morning, I decided that I couldn't survive in the water and got as far away from the table as possible. Unlike Seven and Major, who ate until they both looked green around the gills, literally.

  "I don't feel too good, Birdie," Major said.

  "I don't see why not," Birdie replied sarcastically. "All you ate was a side of beef and the entire underwater population."

  "That ain't funny, baby. I can't remember ever being this full in my life. I can't believe you let me eat like that," he said shaking his head.

  He looked miserable.

  "Come on then, let's get this cleaned up so I can get you home."

  "It's okay, Birdie, I can do it. He doesn't look like he's going to make it much longer."

  I had barely finished my sentence before Major jumped up and ran into the house, hand over his mouth. He came back out about ten minutes later, smiling from ear to ear.

  "Well, don't just stand there, Bari, get to grilling old Maja another one of them steaks! And Seven, go melt your dad some but'ta! Birdie, you put the garlic in! Come on, Bari! You still got to fry some more fish!"

  And his orders went on and on; fry this, grill that, broil this, melt that. I was so thankful for the ringing of the phone I could have clicked my heels together. Saved by the bell. Finally, a break.

  "Bari, the phone is ringing!" Major informed me as he sat in a chair with his feet kicked up and watched us run around like peasants trying to serve a king.

  I glared at him. He laughed. I laughed, too. I picked up the phone, which happened to be within reaching distance of Major's right hand. He gave me a sheepish grin. I took the phone and went into the house, so I could hear over Major's Bob Marley C.D.

  "Hello ...Uncle Meestake! How are you ...I have called ...It's only been two weeks since I last talked to you!” I laughed. "I miss you too ...Are you serious? When ...I can't wait to see you ...okay...hold on."

  I called Seven inside and told him someone wanted to talk to him.

  "Seven is cooking. If he leave, my but'ta will burn," Major explained.

  "It's not real butter," I joked. "Real butter has an 'er' at the end."

  "What! I can't believe it's not but'ta!" Major barely got the words out before he started cracking up.

  He continued to laugh so hard that he forgot that one of his servants had chosen to talk on the phone over melting his beloved butter. When Seven came back out, he came straight to me and hugged me. I wiped tears from my eyes.

  "Are you okay, Bari?" Birdie asked.

  "She's just happy, Birdie," Seven assured her.

  "Well, what's wit' all da tears den?" Major wanted to know. "We got crab, shrimp, steaks, fish, I see no room for da tears, Bari."

  "Major, food isn't everything," Birdie informed him.

  "Food is too everything. Food keeps Maja alive. If there was no food there would be no Majah," he explained logically. "And everybody knows how much you love Maja."

  He gave her a secret smile that made her blush. I smiled. It was cute.

  Chapter 29

  "Do you think Seven would like this?" I asked, holding up a bra and thong by Dolce & Gabana.

  "It looks too small for him."

  "Ha. Ha."

  "Hell yes, I think I'll get one, too."

  "And this!" I said excitedly.

  It was a plaid bra with matching boy shorts by Agent Provocateur.

  "Me too then!"

  We tore the mall apart. I bought Seven a pair of silk pajamas and an oversized black Leather Jordan jacket.

  "Gucci! Look, I think I'm in love."

  "Me too then," she agreed, as her eyes settled on the pair of black suede Giuseppe Zanetti boots that were above the knee and had crisscrossing straps that wrapped around the thighs. They had a five inch stiletto heel. I was terrified to look at the price tag. "You look."

  ''No, you look, Gucci, please."

  "Ain't no way I'm looking at that tag. I'll probably lose my eyesight, and I don't want to be blind. I'm scared of the dark," she said dramatically. I tentatively reached out and picked up the tag. "Don't look directly at it, Bari!"

  "Gucci."

  "I don't even wanna know. Won't nobody understand why I'm standing in the middle of this store crying like somebody just told me dick is going out of style."

  "Gucci!"

  "Okay, tell me. I'm ready."

  "Four thousand ..."

  "Don't do it!"

  "Three hundred ..."

  "Shut up!"

  "And fifty-four dollars."

  "Bitch, I said don't tell me, and I know you ain't even thinking about it."

  "Do you have a size seven?" I asked the woman that passed by, looking like she should be walking a runway in Paris.

  "Sure do," she smiled.

  "Bari."

  "I just want to try it on. And look at this mini! I have to try it on."

  "Has Seven ever laid hands on you? 'Cause you ain't gon' have no understanding as to why he's beating your ass like Ike did Tina."

  "Thank you," I told the lady, whose name was Michelle, and headed to the dressing room.

  "You gon' stay in there forever?” Gucci asked impatiently. "Bari? Did the body snatchers get you?" She opened the door and stepped inside. "Bitch, that shit is bangin'!" She whispered loudly, seeing that I was on my phone.

  "I love you too, baby. Okay."

  I hung up with a huge smile on my face.

  "That fool is whipped, and I mean whipped like a runaway slave.”

  "I know Jango didn't say yes." I nodded. "Why didn't you tell him to go ask Six if I could get a pair too?"

  Six was Seven's right hand man at the Seventh Sign.

  "You call and ask him. What would my baby look like barging in on a meeting and asking the manager if his girl can buy a pair of boots?" I laughed. She stared longingly at the boots. "Call him,
Gucci. All he can say is 'bitch hell naw, and I don't want you no more ‘cause you just disrespected me by asking me something like that’."

  "That is not funny!" I held out my phone for her. "I don't want to use your stankin' ass phone! You could have asked for me! I'll use my own phone." She skeptically dialed the number. "Hi, baby ...huh? Thank You! I love you so much, Six!"

  She hung up the phone, and we hugged each other while jumping up and down.

  "But I didn't hear you ask," I said.

  "I didn't have to. Seven told him that you had just called and asked and to prepare himself 'cause I would probably be calling soon after."

  "That is so cool! Let's go."

  As we exited the dressing room, the lady, Michelle, was standing with another sales lady and looking at us very strangely. We fell out laughing. All was forgotten by both of them as we made our purchases and were told to come again.

  "Did you have fun today, Milkshake?"

  "I had a ball!" I said.

  I enjoyed my day off from school very much, even though the malls were packed because all the kids were off. It was called Free Day for the teachers, but I knew it was because they closed the school and searched for drugs in the lockers. I was so happy to be back at the private school.

  "This is for you," I said, handing him a large bag.

  He started pulling the items out and commenting on them.

  "This shit is tight as hell, Milkshake," he said, holding up the Jordan hooded jacket.

  "You like it?"

  "Aw, hell yeah! Did Gucci get Six one?" I shook my head. "Maybe we can get him one for his birthday," he suggested. "It's only a couple of weeks away."

  "Sounds good to me. I'll tell Gucci."

  "Now, where's these boots that set me back four g's?"