“I could get used to this,” he said, as he smoothed the hair away from my face. “You’re so beautiful in the morning.”
Never one to take a compliment graciously, I gave my usual, “Oh, sure.”
“I hate to move, but I have to get up,” he said. “Mind if I shower here?”
“Not at all, if I can come too.”
We soaped each other up and Jack washed my hair. He leaned down so I could do the same for him. His hair was so thick it took a while to rinse out the lather. “I’ll use less shampoo next time,” I laughed. We dried each other off and I wondered how long couples did this kind of thing; how long before they showered separately and even slept in different bedrooms. I couldn’t imagine feeling any differently about Jack than I did right this minute, as I finished toweling off his muscled back. “I don’t want you to put your clothes on,” I whispered. “I love looking at your body.”
“Oh, God, Audrey, you’re going to make me late for roll call, aren’t you.”
He swept me up and carried me back to bed and I closed my eyes as he brushed his lips over my stomach. “Absolutely,” I breathed.
Chapter 22
One more day until I spoke to Harley! I could barely contain my excitement. But as the morning wore on, I thought about Jack and wondered if maybe I should let him listen in on the conversation, after all. Who knew what Harley was going to say? If she talked about Carl, she might unwittingly give Jack a reason to arrest the creep and give me one less person to worry about. Carl was nothing more than a thug, and with his history of abuse, he might also be a petty thief, or into selling drugs. Jack could sit on the other side of the computer so Harley wouldn’t know he was in the room.
I thought again about how much I’d enjoyed my vision of pinning Carl to the wall of a building with my Jeep, and wondered if I would really do it if I had the chance; I felt giddy at the thought. Don’t mention it to Jack. You don’t want him finding out what kind of thoughts run through your head.
I tapped out a text asking Jack if he could meet me at my apartment at 11 a.m. the next day, adding that it was important. Half an hour later he answered that he would come, but he had pulled an extra shift, so he wouldn’t see me until then. To keep busy, I wrote out bills, did some errands, and then drove to the office to see what else I could do to get it ready for my hiatus.
By noon, I’d packed up the remaining paperwork and office supplies, cleaned the kitchenette and vacuumed the downstairs. I headed to the second floor and stripped the two cots, packed up the sheets, blankets, towels, and all of the things I’d brought for the time Harley and I had stayed up there.
I folded up the first of the two cots and in doing so, caught a wheel on the edge of the carpet and pulled it loose. Cursing, I pushed the makeshift bed out of the way and stepped on the slightly frayed edge, securing it back down under the molding. Just shoving the cot around made me realize I wouldn’t be able to get it down the stairs by myself; I’d have to ask Jack to do it for me. For an encore, I filled three garbage bags for the dumpster, and packed my personal items into Nelly.
I thought again about Carl and wondered what it was about him that had seemed familiar; it was something I’d noticed the day I’d watched him walk back home from the store. I tried to capture the image in my mind; maybe it was the way he walked, the stoop of his shoulders, or the shape of his head. I tried to place him, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t come up with where I might have seen him before, like the grocery store, the drug store, or hell, maybe it wasn’t that at all. Maybe he resembled someone I knew. Oh well, it would come to me eventually. Right now I was hungry and had a full Nelly to unload. I headed home feeling like I’d accomplished something, and enjoying the sense of calm I’d found in the busywork. It was a good feeling. I turned on the radio and began to sing along, aware that I was smiling.
I slid onto a barstool at Krabby Kirk’s to order lunch. “An iced tea and a bison burger please.”
“Sure, Audrey,” said Dick, as he wiped down the bar. “But listen, there’s something I need to talk to you about.”
“Oh, yeah?” I asked, knowing that nothing good ever followed a sentence like that. “What’s up?”
“It’s your apartment,” he started.
“Does the incense bother you?” It couldn’t be that after all these years.
“Incense – no, it’s nothing like that. We’re going to turn the upstairs into a billiards room, so we’re gonna have to give you notice to find another place. I’m sorry. You’re a good tenant. We just need the space for our customers.”
Well, that was about the last thing I had expected. “Cancel the tea,” I said. “Bring me a beer.”
“Oh, hell, Audrey, I’m really sorry. It’s just business.” He put a frosty bottle on the bar.
“How long have I got?” I asked, sounding like I’d just been diagnosed with a terminal illness.
“A couple of weeks after Memorial Day.”
“That soon? Really?”
“That’s the downside of being on a month-to-month – but it’s what we agreed on, remember?"
Of course I remembered. At least I’d get to enjoy one more parade from my window. “This just sucks,” I told him.
“I know. I’m really sorry.”
I spent the rest of the day unloading Nelly, all the while thinking that I would soon be loading her right back up with everything I owned. Where would I go? Once I’d finished stacking the boxes in my apartment, I gathered up the sheets, towels, and blankets from the office, and threw them all into a giant front-loader at the Laundromat. Then I walked to the corner newspaper box, dropped in four quarters, and removed a copy, thinking I should start looking at what kinds of rentals were available these days. Soon my wonderful little apartment would be full of beery men, shooting pool, passing gas, and telling dirty jokes. I trudged up the stairs, mad, and determined to make my mark on the place.
I pulled a paring knife from one of my two kitchen drawers, and walked into my bedroom, where I proceeded to carve my initials into the molding around the door where I didn’t think anyone would notice. I lived here, damn it. It was my home. My tiny space. It was where I felt most in control.
I would look for another little apartment; a place where I could see every room by taking a few steps in one direction or another. I’d preferred to live in tiny spaces for as long as I could remember, certainly since the age of six. Hurry up Audrey! Run! Those words had echoed in my mind almost every day of my life.
Outside my mother’s room, the hospital had seemed as big and as busy as a city. I’d been sitting in a plastic chair in the corner of the room, next to a metal table that rolled on little wheels. I’d pushed the table out and back with my foot, over and over, as my grandmother and my aunt stood beside my mother’s bed, blocking her from my view. I didn’t mind because the tubes, the blinking lights, and the needle stuck into the back of my mother’s hand frightened me. I heard my grandmother say, “How many times did I tell her not to smoke in bed?” and remember how my aunt had hushed her and told her that my mother might be able to hear what they were saying.
At some point, I’d fallen asleep in the chair, and woke to my grandmother yelling my name. “Audrey! Run and get a nurse! Hurry up! Audrey! Run!” Half-awake, I’d struggled off the chair and stumbled into the long hallway, looking frantically up and down, but I didn’t see a nurse. In my picture book at home, they’d all worn little white hats, but none of the women I saw that day had one on.
I’d stood there in the hallway and wet my pants, as the light over the door to my mother’s room blinked on and off. Fearing repercussions for not “holding it” at my big girl age of six, I’d taken off the soggy pink panties and kicked them as far away from me as I could. I’d heard my grandmother and my aunt cry out and several people ran into the room as I stood outside the door, terrified of what it all might mean.
My grandmother had finally come looking for me. She said my mother had died, and I could tell she thou
ght it was my fault, because I hadn’t been able to find the one person – a nurse – who could have saved her. Through the door I saw a woman cover my mother’s face with a sheet. My grandmother took me by the hand and we’d left the hospital, and with me went the knowledge that I, at the age of six, had killed my mother.
I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, then took a deep breath and sent Jack a text, telling him that I’d just been booted from my apartment. I was starting to lose track of the problems that had piled up in my life and I couldn’t imagine how annoying it must be for him to listen to me go on about them; and now I was adding a new one to the heap. When would he say it was enough – as in, enough already! When would he dump me like the others had and leave me to fend for myself?
I grabbed a bag of M&Ms, headed to the couch with my newspaper, and turned to the rental section. The available apartments were double what I’d been paying and seemed too big. The ones I could afford, and were in decent neighborhoods, were in two-family homes, where I would have to put up with people living above or below me; that wasn’t going to work. I needed a place where no one would complain about my burning Frankincense, and where I wouldn’t be bothered by other people banging around, noisy kids, or late-night domestic fights. I didn’t think that made me picky. So my place smelled like barbeque most of the time. So what? That never bothered me. And what little noise that came from downstairs had never been anything more than the pleasant sounds of people enjoying themselves.
I reminded myself that I had the lease on my office building until the end of the year, so if worse came to worse, I could lug everything back there until I found something. It would be my last choice, but it was better than being homeless, and cheaper than any of the places listed in the paper. After all, I was officially out of work and my savings weren’t going to last forever.
I decided that the sooner I went to bed, the sooner tomorrow would come. I showered and jammied up, brushed my teeth, and picked up my bottle of sleeping pills. Nope. No more pills. I didn’t need them now that I had Jack. Not the happy pills either. I would call Dr. Steele and tell her I was stopping both of them, right after I spoke to Harley.
Chapter 23
Jack was at my apartment door precisely at 11 o’clock, and I knew it was him by his knock.
“Hi,” I smiled, as he walked in. “I’m glad you’re here.”
He gave me a quick kiss, as he took off his hat and put it on the table. “So what’s this all about? You’re lease here is up?”
“I’ve been on a month-to-month all these years. They need the space for a friggin’ billiards room.”
He pointed to my laptop on the kitchen table. “Looking for apartments?”
“Sit down, Jack.” I poured him a cup of coffee. “At noon, Harley is going to contact me. I’m going to Skype with her.”
“No kidding,” he said. “What’s she want?”
“I don’t know. She sent me a key to a post office box. There was a note inside saying she’d contact me at noon today. She also believes I’ll be alone, but I thought it would be better if you were here.”
“Why?”
“I’m pretty sure she took off to hide from Carl,” I said. “I thought that if she talked about him, she might say something you could use to arrest him. I need him off the street; I don’t feel safe after he tried to intimidate me on the road and with that phone call. I mean, what’s next?”
“Okay, but you’ll have to record the conversation in case you need proof of something she tells you.”
I rummaged through my dresser until I found a voice-activated cassette player. It had a tape in it, but a quick check told me that there was nothing on it I needed. I erased it and set the recorder near the laptop, where Harley would not be able to see it.
“You sit behind the monitor,” I said to Jack, feeling guilty that I was betraying Harley by letting him listen. “Do you mind that I want you to stay?”
“No, it’s okay,” he smiled. “But I need to eat. I’m going downstairs to grab some food. I’ll bring lunch for us up here.”
“Well, keep an eye on the time. You can’t be coming in while I’m on with her.”
“Don’t worry – I’ll be right back.”
The clock seemed to tick louder and louder. Would she call before Jack got back? Seconds seemed to stretch into minutes until I knew – just knew – that she would call early and hang up when she heard the door open and close. Come on, Jack! I turned on the laptop and clicked on the Skype icon. I was ready. Where the hell was Jack? I found a sheet of paper and scribbled on it – DO NOT COME IN – YOU’RE TOO LATE AND HARLEY WILL HEAR YOU. Nice work, Jack. I found a piece of tape and was headed to the door when he walked in. Feeling foolish, I wadded it up and threw it in the trash. I thought about what Dr. Steele had said about overreacting, and tried to calm myself.
We ate quickly, and by five ‘til noon were seated at the table, with Jack behind the monitor. Precisely at twelve, there was an alert on my laptop that someone was trying to contact me. I clicked on the YES button and suddenly, I was looking at Harley.
“Hi Audrey,” she said with a big smile, and the tape began rotating in concert with her voice.
“Harley!” I said, “How are you? Where are you?”
“I’m fine, but I don’t want to say where I am. You understand, don’t you?”
“I guess so,” I said, “but did Carl find you? Is that why you left so suddenly?”
“I’m sorry I took off without telling you,” she said, “I really am. But I don’t want to talk about that either.”
“Then what do you want to talk about? Why did you send me the message?”
“I sent it so you’d know exactly when I was going to contact you, so you could make sure you were alone. You’re alone, right?”
Oh, God. “Of course.”
“Is Carl still living in the same house?”
“As far as I know. He called me the other night and demanded to know where you were. I told him I didn’t know, but I doubt he believed me.”
“I’m sorry he did that.” After a pause, she asked, “Are you still staying at the office?”
“No, I moved back into my apartment.”
“How’s the agency doing?”
“I took your advice and closed.”
“It’s probably for the best,” she said. “What are you doing about money? Did you take another job?”
“I’m living off my savings at the moment. I’ve just been given notice that I have to be out of my apartment soon, so things here are unsettled.”
“I saw that Danny Stearns was arrested,” she said. “You must be happy about that.”
“Except that now I’ll have to testify against him. Harley, we also learned that Ferdy may have been in on the robbery. He worked at that bank as a teller.”
“I know,” she said.
“What do you mean you know? How could you know that?” I felt Jack come awake.
“That’s why I wanted to talk to you, Audrey. You’ve been so great to me, and now that I’m fairly safe, I want to help you.”
“How?” I asked, as a chill went through me.
“By telling you what I know about Danny Stearns.”
“Danny Stearns! What are you talking about? What could you possibly know about him?”
“Something I’ve known for a long time.”
“Well, let’s have it,” I said. My heart thrummed like a tuning fork.
“I can tie Danny to the robbery.”
“What? How?” I was flabbergasted, and on my way to irate. I wanted to look at Jack, but didn’t dare.
“Because Carl and Danny were friends.”
“What!” I felt lightheaded. “You knew how terrified I’ve been that Danny would look for me – how could you not tell me this before? What do you know?”
“They met in a bar years ago. They were a lot alike – sick of having crap jobs and no money.”
“So let me guess – they decided to rob a bank?” This w
as unbelievable. I wasn’t sure I could handle hearing any more.
“One night, Carl brought his cousin to the bar with him – Ferdy.”
“Ferdy is Carl’s cousin?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. So that’s why Carl looked familiar.
“Ferdy was just a kid and had just started a job as a teller. Kind of a nerdy type, but he liked being one of the guys, and eventually Danny and Carl were able to talk him into helping them. I was living with Carl, so I used to hear the three of them talking about it at our place.”
“And you never called the police?”
“I was as afraid of Carl then as I am now. And Danny was there too – are you kidding? You couldn’t have paid me enough to say anything.”
“So what happened?”
“They each had a job to do; Carl’s was to drive around a few different cities and find a good place to hide the money, and a house to live in. Ferdy was supposed to find out when a big amount of money was due at the bank and develop some kind of software that would delay the alarm or something. Danny’s job was to do the actual robbery. The plan was for Danny to hand off the money to Carl, who was parked just outside, but the gun accidently fired and hit one of the customers. I guess everything went to hell from there.”
“Carl drove the getaway car?”
“Yes. But as I said, things got hairy. Whatever Ferdy did to the alarm, didn’t work, and it went off. Danny was supposed to get in the car too, but the police showed up. Carl drove off with the money and Danny started running.”
“Which was when he bumped into me.” Oh, my God. It was surreal hearing the backstory of that day. And it was my dumb luck to have been standing right there in Danny’s path. If I’d have met with Dr. Collins the day before, or even stayed in her office ten minutes longer, I wouldn’t have been there at all when he ran around that corner, and none of this would be happening.
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