Little Red

by Trista Jaszczak

I smile and look at Maggie

  “Two beautiful and strong heartbeats,” she says with a smile

  “Is that really them?” Ian asks

  Maggie gives him a nod as she lets me listen a little longer.

  “That would be your nieces or nephews.

  I have to tell you, Red, I don’t know how you’ve held out without finding out the sex of them.” She smiles.

  “Remember, if they don’t come on their own, I want to induce,” she reminds me.

  “But, given how low that belly has dropped, I’m thinking they want to come on their own.” She gives me a comforting grin.

  “This means you get to try for that natural labor you wanted.”

  “Thank you, Maggie.” I smile.

  “For everything.”

  “You don’t have to thank me,” she says, cleaning the gel off my belly.

  “I’m your doctor, Red.”

  I grin as she helps me sit up and relax into the couch

  “I’ve got to go meet Eli for dinner, but you get some rest,” she says.

  “And, don’t worry about Ethan; he’ll be fine.” She smiles as James walks to the front door

  Ethan.

  I roll his name over in my head.

  Ethan.

  He’s still furious.

  I drop my head in my hands

  “What’s wrong, Red?” I hear Ian as I feel his hand drop on my shoulder

  “Ethan hates me.

  He’s furious.” I sniffle

  James kneels in front of me.

  “Honey, he doesn’t hate you.

  He isn’t even furious with you.

  He was just scared to death.”

  I finally look at him as I fight off a sudden round of nausea.

  “Then why would he say that?”

  “Because,” Trent says as he takes a seat next to me, “he’s scared to death.

  The full moon is coming, so it throws us into moon rage, but on top of that, there’s the Kentucky pack.

  They took you tonight, Red.

  He was terrified of losing you.

  He just lost it.”

  I wipe at my face.

  “I’ve never seen him like that.”

  “He’s in love with you and was scared out of his mind.

  With all those senses colliding, he did what he knew how to do at the moment,” Trent tells me.

  “Moon rage can really make you feel like you’re going to lose your mind.

  You feel like you need to scream, hit something, and yell.

  Otherwise your entire body will just blow up,” he explains.

  “Ethan has always been the best at keeping it under control, but it’s different when it comes to you.

  Throw in this other pack that not only wanted you but got you, and he was terrified.”

  “If anything worse would have happened to you, honey,” James cuts in, “Ethan would have had blood on his hands tonight.”

  I shake my head.

  “I would never let him.”

  “Let him?” Trent asks.

  “There would be no stopping him had anything worse happened.”

  My tears slow, but I feel a few more dribble down my cheeks.

  “I…” I pause.

  “We don’t...” I stop again as I try to force the words from my mouth.

  “We’ve never said it.

  But, I’m...”

  James laughs, “You’re in love with him.

  Honey, we could have told you that a long time ago.”

  I find myself laughing slightly.

  “You guys really pick up on all of that?”

  “Loud and clear,” Trent says.

  “Some days a little too much.”

  “You’re a perfect fit for Ethan, honey,” James says.

  “Don’t you dare think he hates you.

  He couldn’t survive without you.

  You should go wash up and get some rest.

  I can feel those boys in you.

  They’re restless.”

  “Girls,” Ian says

  I find myself chuckling, but I shake my head.

  “I don’t want to be alone.”

  “I’ll go with you,” Ian says.

  “This is all my fault.

  I’m not leaving your side now.”

  “Ian, this is not your fault.”

  He nods.

  “I let you go.

  I should have never done it.” He looks at the bruises now marking my cheeks and the blood staining my face and clothes.

  “I’m so sorry, Red.”

  “I tell you what,” I say.

  “Keep me safe tonight, and we’ll call it even.”

  He nods with teary eyes

  “You can have the bigger bedroom,” James tells me.

  “Ian knows where it is.

  Get her anything she wants Ian, and show her where the bathroom is.”

  Ian nods and grabs my bag as I follow him up the steps of James’ home.

  He shows me to the bathroom and passes me my bag

  “I am sorry, Red,” he tells me

  I lean in and plant a kiss on his cheek.

  “It’s not your fault, Ian.”

  He nods slightly.

  “Get cleaned up.

  It hurts to look at you like that.

  Bedroom is across the hall.

  I’ll be in there.

  I promise, I will keep you safe.”

  I give him a nod before sliding into the bathroom.

  I hesitate before looking at myself in the mirror, and when I do, I’m surprised that I’m not worse.

  Both of my cheeks are slightly puffy and bruised from the blows to the face.

  My nose and chin are bloody, but it’s dry and can easily be washed away.

  Finally, on my neck is a long bruise from his hand pressing and squeezing.

  I sigh and begin slipping from my clothes to step into the shower stall and turn on the hot water.

  I scrub my body and face twice, for good measure, and wash my hair before changing into yoga pants and a long sleeved tee shirt.

  I move across the hallway and into the bedroom where Ian is waiting by the window.

  He turns to face me, and I see that there are tears in his eyes and wet trails running down his cheeks

  He gives me a slight laugh and wipes down his face.

  “I didn’t think you would be this quick.”

  “Ian, I’m so sorry I dragged you into this,” I say.

  “I should have never begged you to let me go alone, and now, Ethan hates both of us.”

  “I thought we said he doesn’t hate you.

  He doesn’t hate me either.” He pauses.

  “At least, I don’t think he does.” He makes a pitiful face.

  “He’s just really uptight right now.

  The full moon is coming.

  Come on, I can feel how exhausted you are.

  Get comfortable.”

  I crawl into the king-size bed and wiggle my body under the warm blankets.

  I lie back in the bed and close my eyes.

  I feel the bed move slightly, and realize that Ian is sitting in the floor at the foot of the bed, his back using the bed for a backrest.

  I fight with myself to sleep, but for some reason it’s just too much to handle.

  I begin crying softly.

  I bury my face in the pillow in an attempt to muffle the horrible sound from Ian, but it’s useless.

  I begin sobbing again.

  I feel the bed move slightly and can tell Ian is crawling up to me.

  I feel his body move to the headboard and his gentle hand on my hair.

  “Hey, hey, it’s okay.

  I’m right here,” he coos to me.

  “Ethan will calm dow
n.

  I’m surprised he isn’t here already.”

  “It’s not that.

  It’s that,” I pause.

  “That man; he came so close.

  He would have if Colt hadn’t come in.

  And in Ethan and Elise’s cabin.” I sniffle.

  “I can just…” I take a breath.

  “I can feel him on me.

  Something really bad could have happened to me and the twins tonight, all because I let this rage get the best of me.”

  “Shhh…” I hear Ian’s voice softer than I ever have before.

  “He isn’t here.

  I’m here.

  I’m going to bet that Colt scarred him for life,” he tells me.

  “Ethan will be here.

  He’ll calm down, and you and these little girls will be safe forever.

  I promise.”

  His voice is so wonderfully soft as he rubs my hair that I finally feel myself drifting to sleep

  “Don’t leave me, Ian,” I say finally

  “Never again,” he says before I feel myself fall into my dreams

  I pound at the front door of James’ house.

  Of course he knows it’s me, and of course he’s irritated, so irritated that he flings the door wide open with a deadly look on his face, one that makes me rethink my middle of the night visit

  “What do you want, Ethan?” he growls, standing in the doorway

  I rub the back of my neck and glare at the porch a moment.

  “I need to see Red.”

  “Oh,” he laughs, “you need to see her.

  You need to see her after you treated her so completely horrible that she nearly had a breakdown.”

  I look down again.

  “I need to see her.”

  “Well, she’s sleeping,” he tells me, “finally.”

  “James, I know you’re pissed at me.

  You know this is not me,” I tell him.

  “I’m not like this.

  I just…” I pause

  “You just lost it.

  Well, you can’t afford to lose it,” he says.

  “She is thirty-five weeks pregnant with twins.

  You still remember, right? If you decided to kill any of them or get killed yourself, I don’t think there is any one of us that could calm her down.” I maintain my stance and let James say what I deserve to hear.

  “She is so completely in love with you, her one thought, her one worry was that you hated her,” he says.

  “Not, how do I feel? How are the babies? Just Ethan hates me.”

  I wipe at my face as a few tears trickle down

  “Yeah, I would say you deserve to cry,” James shoots

  “I do, I admit that I do,” I tell him.

  “James, I feel like shit.

  I am in love with Red, but the thought of losing her,” I shake my head.

  “It’s taking everything in me not track the blonde one with a broken nose down.”

  He suddenly laughs.

  “Well, I do give you credit; you came here to her.”

  “James, I need to see her,” I say again

  Finally, he gives me an approving nod and allows me to pass by him.

  “She’s in my room,” he tells me.

  “Do not wake her.

  I’ll kill you myself.”

  I run past him and take the stairs two at a time.

  When I reach the correct door, it’s closed.

  Before I can knock, I hear it slowly creak open.

  Ian’s silver eyes poke through the crack.

  “What do you want?”

  “I have to see her, Ian,” I tell him

  “Well, she’s sleeping.

  I finally got her to sleep, and I’m not about to let you wake her up,” Ian shoots

  “Ian, I am so sorry,” I tell him.

  “You have to know that I didn’t mean any of that.”

  “You said that you did,” he reminds me.

  “I only said that,” I tell him.

  “You know what the rage feels like.”

  He nods.

  “And I know better than to treat a lady like you did.

  I may be a whore, but I would never talk to a woman like that.”

  I feel a twisting in my gut.

  “Ian, I’m so sorry.”

  “I forgive you.

  I’m your brother, your own blood.” He nods toward the room.

  “It’s Red you need to worry about.”

  “Can I please see her?” I ask again

  “I told you she’s sleeping.”

  “I won’t wake her.”

  “I promised her that I wouldn’t leave her,” he says finally

  I feel a pain in my heart.

  I should be the one to comfort her, not my own brother.

  “Then stay right outside the door,” I tell him.

  “But I need to see her.”

  He sighs and reluctantly moves so that I can pass him.

  I give him a thankful pat on the shoulder as he shuts the door behind him.

  I look at the bed and see that Red is curled up in a pile of blankets and pillows.

  She’s resting comfortably, but even in the darkness, I see that her neck and cheek are both bruised.

  As I near the bed, I see the spot Ian took up residence on.

  Just close enough to comfort her if needed.

  I slowly slide into the bed and guide my body close to hers.

  I bring a hand around to touch her cheek and slide it slowly to her shoulder.

  Even through the thin cotton of her top, I can feel that she’s cold and my warm hand against her body makes her sigh.

  I yank the blanket up around her and trail my hand to her belly.

  I receive two extremely hard kicks; so hard that it is nearly unbelievable.

  Her belly is harder and rounder, and the twins are obviously much bigger and stronger than I remember.

  I push myself slowly against her as I rest my hand on her belly.

  How could I have not realized just how pregnant my Red has gotten? I was so caught up in the Kentucky pack, the rage, and the fight to protect her.

  How could I have forgotten just to love her? I bury my face in her hair and inhale deeply.

  I fight myself not to think.

  I close my eyes as I receive a few more kicks to my hand.

  I relax myself by the calmness of her breathing and the kicks that I receive from the babies as I drift to sleep next to her

  * * * * * *

  I wake to the sound of Red stirring in the bed.

  A dusty blue light from the rising sun is finally starting to settle in the room as she lets out a little groan

  “Ian?” Her voice is soft and quite comforting.

  The only hurt I feel is that she said my brother’s name and not my own

  “Red.” I feel my own husky voice crackle as she slowly moves to turn

  “Ethan,” she breathes as she gazes around the room, “Where’s Ian?”

  “He’s asleep, right against the door,” I say.

  “I feel him.

  He never left you.”

  “Ethan.”

  I shake my head.

  “Please, don’t.

  I’m so sorry, Red.

  I should have sensed you were overwhelmed.

  I should have paid more attention to you.

  Anyone in their right might would have gone nuts, too.

  You just needed time to yourself,” I say.

  “Ian understood that, when I didn’t.

  I should have never said what I said.

  If you want to just smack me, I understand.”

  She shakes her head.

  “I don’t want to smack you.”

  I sigh with relief.


  “I’ve missed so much, Red.

  My focus should have been on you.”

  “It was,” she says finally

  I shake my head.

  “Not that way.

  About being with you, the twins.” I feel my voice crackle.

  “I’m in love with you, Red,” I finally say.

  “I love you.”

  Her mouth drops slightly, and I can suddenly tell that was the last thing she expected

  “I...Ethan, I…” She pauses and her blue eyes find mine.

  “I love you, too.”

  I can no longer contain myself.

  I engulf her lips with mine and throw my arms around her.

  I feel a kick from her belly to my own as I run my hands up to her hair.

  I hear her let out a soft sigh as she pulls away

  “Ethan,” she says, “you really can never do that again.”

  “I know.

  I’m an asshole, and I wish I could take it all back,” I tell her.

  “I should have never said what I did to you, or Ian.”

  “I’m serious, Ethan.

  I can’t do this again,” she repeats, giving me a serious look that I have never seen from her before

  “And, you should never have to,” I tell her.

  “I was a complete idiot.”

  She gives me a little laugh that makes me relax.

  “Is Ian really outside the door, or did you kick the life out of him?”

  “I swear,” I say, leaving my spot in the bed.

  “Look.” I open the door and side step as Ian, still fast asleep, crashes to the floor

  “Christ, Ethan!” he yells groggily.

  “What the hell are you doing?”

  I laugh, looking down at him.

  “When this one makes a promise, he makes a promise.”

  I hear Red laugh as she looks down at Ian.

  He finally rolls to his belly to pull himself up.

  “What time is it?” he asks

  “Too early,” I say

  He looks at Red.

  “You doing okay?”

  She gives him a slight nod.

  “Yeah.

  I feel a little bit better, anyway.”

  “Are we all lovey-dovey in this room?” Ian asks.

  “Because if not, I will steal her from you, Ethan.” He points a finger at me

  I laugh.

  “We’re all lovey-dovey.” I look at Red.

  “At least, I really hope we are.”

  She smiles and finally gives me a nod.

  “But, if you mess up again, I’m taking him up on his offer.”

  I laugh.

  “I won’t mess up again.