Loving My SECRET (Corrigan & Co. Book 10)

by Crystal Perkins

  “It’s either him or you, Matt.”

  “Damn it, I’m not doing this with you again. I can’t.”

  “You can. You just won’t. So step aside and let me get the orgasm I need.”

  Instead of moving back, he moves forward, crushing his mouth to mine. His hands move into my dress, covering my breasts as he devours my mouth. He breaks away and tries to scare me off. “The girls told me about a sex club down the street. We can go put on a show if you’re up to it.”

  “Sure. I can show what I’ve got,” I reply, knowing there’s no way in hell he’ll let that happen.

  “The fuck you will. You’re mine, Reina.”

  Only when it’s convenient for him, but I’ll take what I can get. “Use me tonight, Matt. We both want it.”

  “Hard. It’s going to be hard, and rough.”

  “I know.”

  He takes his hands out of my dress, and throws some money on the bar, before taking my hand in his. Then we’re moving. Through the bar as the women call for him to come back, and out the door to the deserted city street. Matt looks both ways, and then gets a wolfish smile on his face.

  “You wanted this, and now you’re getting it.”

  He pulls me around the corner and into a dark alley. I think he’s just going to take me against the brick wall, but he has other plans. He lets go of my hand to jump up and pull down the ladder from a fire escape, and the he’s lifting me onto it.

  He guides my upper body through one of the rungs, but instead of pushing me down, he guides my hands up. My ribs, and the back of my neck are pressing into the metal, and I know I’ll have some bruises tomorrow. This is new—he’s been rough with me before, but never like this. I know he’s testing me, seeing how far I’ll let him take things. I also know that if I resist, he’ll stop, and go back into the bar. I’m not about to let that happen, so I bend a little, even though I can feel the bite in my ribs.

  I hear him unzip his pants, and then he pushes my thong to the side and slams into me. We don’t use condoms when we’re together. That’s the one thing he gives me, and me alone. I arch my back and he pounds into me, while he alternates between curse words and dirty talk.

  “This right here. I want it like this tonight. You sure you can handle it like this?”

  “Don’t I always?”

  “Your pussy can take a lot, but tonight is going to be more than usual. I want more. Harder, faster, rougher. I need to fuck. Over and over. I need it all night.”

  “Yes.”

  “That guy wanted you. He wanted to touch these,” he says, moving his hands inside my dress again. He pinches, and twists as I yelp. “These are mine. No one gets to touch them like I do.” He squeezes harder, and I hold back a scream. He’s not trying to make me come right now. He’s trying to hurt me, and scare me away.

  “I’m not backing down, Matt. Do your worst.”

  “My worst? I want your ass then.” I freeze, and he laughs before moving one hand down to smack one of my cheeks. Hard. “Yeah, I thought so. Don’t worry, I’ll give your pussy a workout tonight, and find someone else’s ass to put my dick in.”

  “No. Matt, please. Don’t. I-I…you can do it. Do it.”

  I don’t want it. I’ve never had fantasies about that, and in fact, the thought of it makes me want to throw up. But I won’t have him going to find someone else. Especially after he’s used me up. I start to cry, and try to hide it from him, but he knows.

  He stops moving, and rests his head next to mine. “No. I don’t need it. I was just trying to hurt you. Your pussy is more than enough, and I don’t really want anyone’s ass. That’s not one of my kinks. I’m sorry, Rei. You know what a bastard I am, but you still are always there for me when I need you. I need you tonight. Just you. No one else could soothe my soul the way you do.

  “I would give you anything. Anything, Matt. We could be so good together again. Those two weeks were so good.”

  “I’m not good, Reina. It’s me. You deserve better than a fuck in a dark alley.”

  Yeah, well, beggars can’t be choosers. Or maybe they can. “So finish us off here, and then take me back to your room. Or mine, and fuck me like we both want you to. It can be hard, or gentle. I know you’ll make me come no matter what.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Hell yeah.”

  He pulls my body back out from the other side of the ladder, and places my hands right in front of my face. I turn my head and Matt kisses me as he starts to move again. It’s not soft and sweet, but that’s fine. Tonight’s not about romance. It hasn’t been that way with him for ten years, so why would it be that way all of a sudden now? I knew what I was getting into when I walked into the bar tonight. I also know I’ll probably have more than a few bruises on my body when I wake up. That’s okay, though. They aren’t being done out of hate, he just needs to hold on a little tighter tonight, and I totally understand. I’ll always be here to save him, and if I’m lucky, maybe one day he’ll actually want to save me, too.

  * * *

  Matt

  Jake’s team went to the convent, and the rest of us are on the bastard’s farm right now. The perimeter guards were no match for us and, right now, the extra teams are in control there. We know the guards in and around the farmhouse will be better trained, but I’m not worried. On a basic mission, the women are pretty much unstoppable, but add Reina into the mix, and yeah, game over.

  I take out the guy who’s walking the wall in front of me with one bullet to the neck, catching him as he falls. I lay him down, not caring if he’s found. With twelve of us moving through the house, there will soon be no one left to find the ones I take down. I start to walk for the front door when another man lands in my path. He has his hands up, but I keep my gun trained on him, nonetheless.

  “I work for Reina,” he tells me.

  “What?”

  “She hired a few of us years to ago to watch and wait for the perfect time to take him down.”

  “Why didn’t you help her tonight?”

  “She forbade it. She contacted us all earlier, and told us we needed to keep our focus on destroying him, and not compromise all the work we’ve done. She said we would still get paid even if…well, even if she died.”

  “Damn it. She has to always be so fucking noble.”

  “We all want to help you. There are five of us. Two are in the kitchen, and two are at the foot of the stairs.”

  “Where is Reina?”

  He points to the window directly above us. “On her way there. That’s why I stopped you. You need to go in the window, and not take the stairs. He will kill her if he hears any commotion.”

  “Got it.” I unhook my zip line and shoot it to the balcony, waiting as it catches. I tap the comm in my ear, and tell everyone else about the “friendlies” in the house. The guy with me says he’ll watch the rope and then I release the tension and fly to the railing. I climb over, and watch through the window, which someone left open.

  Reina is in the middle of the room in a sequined gown that she’s practically popping out of. My vision is full on clouded by a red haze at the sight of her. She’s standing tall, and I’m so proud of her for not cowering.

  “Leave us,” the man who I’m going to kill says to the others in the room. “You will have your turn with her later, but right now, it will be just the two of us.”

  “But what if there’s trouble?” one of the men asks.

  “What kind of trouble could there be? The villagers can’t take us on.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  He waits until they are gone before walking over to Reina. He hasn’t touched her yet, and he won’t be touching her at all. I can guarantee that.

  “Shall I help you with your dress, my dear?”

  “No.”

  She doesn’t want him to touch her, and it breaks my heart to hear how monotone her voice is. She’s checked out mentally, bracing her mind for what she thinks is going to happen to her body. I wish I could tell her I’m here, and
that no one will ever hurt her again. Even me. But it’s too soon. Jade just told me that the first floor is clear, but I know there are still more men on this floor.

  I grip my gun hard as Reina unzips the dress, and lets it fall to the floor. She only has a pair of cotton panties on, and I watch the bastard lick his lips as he sees her breasts. Fucker. Those are mine, and no one else is touching them.

  “Take off your panties as well, Reina. I want to see all of you.”

  My heart is practically beating out of my chest as the rage overtakes me. Reina does as he asks, and then he makes his fatal mistake. He reaches out to touch her, but I’m faster than he is. I shoot him straight through the hand before he can make contact. I run to the door and lock it while getting off a couple more shots to his legs. My silencer muffles the shots, but I know he’ll yell soon.

  “Matt?” Reina asks, her eyes wide, as she grabs the sheet from the bed and covers herself.

  I don’t answer as I shoot the bastard five more times in non-lethal places. “You keep missing,” he tells me with a laugh. “I’m not dying, you idiot.”

  “You are dying, just not right away. You think you can kidnap my wife and go out easily?” I ask as I empty the rest of my clip into him.

  He starts to yell as I load the next clip, but I cut him off by unleashing more bullets into him. He has a gun, but for some reason, he’s not reaching for it. I think he’s in shock, or maybe he just thinks his men will save him.

  The door breaks open, and the first bullets hit me as I pour the rest of my clip into him, finally taking the kill shot. I hear Reina screaming, and then she’s got a gun in her hands. As I finally start to fall, I see blood splattering around me, and no more bullets enter my body.

  “I love you, my beautiful queen. I’ve always loved you,” I say before my eyes close and the darkness overtakes me.

  * * *

  Reina

  “Help,” I scream, “someone please help us!”

  I clutch the sheet to myself as I drop down next to Matt. He’s covered in more blood than I am, but what’s on me isn’t mine. It belongs to the men I killed in order to stop them as they shot the man I love. The man who came for me, even when I thought he wouldn’t.

  I try to stop the blood—the life—from seeping out of him, but it’s no use. There are too many wounds, he was shot too many times. “Don’t die on me, Matthew Corrigan. Don’t you dare die on me.”

  “Reina? Oh fuck,” Nate says from behind me.

  “Help me. We have to stop the bleeding.”

  “Rei,” Aiden says softly, and when I turn to him, I see he’s given up on Matt already. Nate has the same look in his eyes.

  “No. He’s not dead. He may be dying, but he’s not dead. He would never give up on either of you, so you fucking better not give up on him. Help me.”

  They’re immediately next to me on the ground, tearing off their t-shirts as I tear the sheet that’s covering me. I don’t care about being naked underneath the small piece that’s left. I don’t care about anything, except for keeping Matt alive. If he dies, then the old me will die along with him. I’ll come back to this village, and this time, it will be for real.

  The paramedics come in, and push us out of the way. And then they stop, and shake their heads. “He’s alive.” They just look at me like I’m crazy, and right now, I probably am. I pick up a gun, and check it for bullets before pointing it at them. “He. Is. Alive.”

  They spring into action, and start taking care of him. As they pull the gurney away, I start to follow them. The local police stop me when they see the gun in my hand, so I drop it and explain myself. I see the ambulance pulling away, and try to run after it, but I’m too late.

  “Come on, Rei, we’ll get you there,” Nate says.

  “We have something for you, too,” Aiden tells me.

  “No. Not yet, Aid.”

  “Yes, Nate. It’s time.”

  “The fuck it is. He’s going to live. Matt won’t give up, and I’m not giving up on him.”

  “We have to be realistic. Even if he lives, it won’t be the same.”

  “He will live, but now you better give me whatever it is you think I need,” I say, finally speaking up.

  Nate looks at Aiden with a glare. “You give her yours, because I’m not having that on me when he wakes up pissed.”

  “She deserves it,” Aiden says, pulling his wallet out, and extracting a tiny envelope.

  He hands it to me, and I see the word “Princess” in Matt’s handwriting. Leave it to him to insult me even in written form. I open it as I get into the backseat of the Jeep Nate leads us to.

  Reina,

  If you’re reading this, I’m either dead, or close enough to it that Nate or Aiden felt it was the right time to give this to you. I wish I was brave enough to tell you the things you’re about to read, but I’m not. My two biggest regrets in life are pushing you away all those years ago, and doing the thing that made me push you away. I don’t know whether what you’ll read will make you hate me more, or love me more. Either way, I need you to understand something. I love you. More than any person on this Earth has ever loved another. I’ll love you even after I take my last breath, because life and death have no power over the love I feel for you. Hopefully what you find here will show you that:

  Email address: thissoldierloveshisqueen@gmail.com

  Password: the date we first met

  Yours forever,

  Matt

  “Give me a phone.”

  “We may not have service,” Nate says.

  “Stop stalling me, and give me a damn phone or I’ll jump out of this Jeep and find someone else who will help me.”

  Aiden shares a look with Nate, and then hands me his phone. I bring up the browser, and almost cry when I see the two bars. I bring up Google, log Aiden out, and then log into the account Matt gave me. What I see brings those tears I was trying to hold back—thousands of emails, the last one dated yesterday. I go to the oldest page and see that the first one is from over eleven years ago. On the day that Matt broke my heart for the first time. I take a deep breath, and click on it, both hopeful and scared of what I’m about to learn.

  Chapter 7

  Reina,

  I need you to know something. Ever since we got to Las Vegas, and I saw you again, I haven’t been with all the women you think I have. When you’ve made it obvious that you’re sleeping with some asshole, then I sleep with women. Otherwise, I don’t touch anyone but you. Well, I mean, I kiss them and give them a grope sometimes—for your benefit—but that’s it. I know I can’t have you, but it’s only when you show me you’re trying to move on that I try to do the same. It never works. No other woman is you. While you’ll eventually move on, I can’t. I love you too much for that.

  Yours forever,

  Matt

  * * *

  Reina,

  That fight we had today in the cafeteria was total B.S. I shouldn’t have made the comment about you doing nothing substantial for the company. I know what you do, and how many lives you’ve helped save. I have no excuse other than being jealous. That new douchebag from Accounting was standing too close to you, and you were laughing, and yeah, I fucking lost it. You damn sure put me in my place, and it was hotter than fuck. I mean that in a totally respectful way, of course. I can’t lie, though. When we go head to head, it is hot. Seeing your eyes flash, and even when you slap me, it’s enough to make me almost come in my pants. Seriously. I have wood all day long after a fight with you, and even when I jerk off multiple times later, I’m still unsatisfied. My cock wants your pussy, and I want you. In and out of my bed. If only I could get past my shit and have you. That’s not gonna happen, so I need to resign myself to getting a hand workout. At least I can grip my gun tighter now.

  Love you forever,

  Matt

  * * *

  Reina,

  I have so many things I want to say to you today as you take over the Society from my Gram. I SHOULD be saying
them to you, but if I do, you might realize that I think of our marriage as real. So yeah, I can’t do that, because you knowing would mean it could become real, and that scares me more than anything else on earth. If it was really real, I’d have to tell you all of my secrets, including the one that destroyed everything. I can’t do that, so I’m once again taking the coward’s way out, and just writing to you here.

  You are AMAZING, and will do awesome things with the Society, and the Foundation.

  You’ve got this. Seriously, I know you better than anyone, and I know you worry, but you shouldn’t.

  I’m so fucking proud of you, and I’m also humbled to be able to claim a little bit of the credit for getting you where you are. Yeah, I only married you, but it’s still something.

  Thank you for letting me share your life with you. Even though I know it won’t last, I’m honored to be your husband.

  I love you so so much,

  Matt

  * * *

  Reina,

  Do you remember our first date? I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately while I pass these nights here in the desert. You didn’t dress up for me, because you knew you’d already impressed me the night we met. Not with the sex, but by being you, and not backing down when I tried to mess with you.

  When I came to my Gram’s house to pick you up, you had on those dark denim jeans that hugged your sweet ass, a loose Shania Twain concert t-shirt hiding your amazing tits, Chucks on your feet, and your long hair in a ponytail. There was not one speck of make-up on your face, and yet I’ve never seen anyone look more beautiful. Your dad gave me the third degree, and I ate some of your mom’s cookies before they let us leave. I’d never put out so much of an effort to impress someone’s parents before, but I sure as hell wanted to impress yours.

  I took you to Six Flags that day. I know it was lame and cliché, but I wanted to ride the rides with you and kiss you as much as you’d let me. We kissed a lot that day, and held hands. I keep thinking about your hand in my mine, and how good it felt. How perfect.

  I remember after, when I’d spent over a hundred bucks to win you a stuffed cat, and you showed your appreciation by getting on your knees for me back at my apartment. I didn’t ask you to, but you did it, and I loved knowing I was your first for that, too.