It’s an amazing meal, made even more so by the splendid company. Stefan’s at his most witty and has me in giggles in minutes. Noah’s clearly chuffed with himself for tackling his agoraphobia, and is glowing with happiness, watching Abby eating with Ethan on her lap, who seems determined to stay awake and take part in the festivities. I’m close enough to hear Hal’s jokes and to see how much Leon and Nix are enjoying themselves.
And, of course, I’m opposite Ryan, so I get a chance to ogle him throughout the evening.
I’ve known him a long time, so I’ve seen him with his family and friends often throughout the years. But I’ve always been busy with my own friends, plus it’s strange how you look at someone differently when you think about them in that way. He’s not as outgoing as Hal, not as witty as Stefan, not as mischievous as Albie, or as magnificently brooding as my brother. But men are relaxed in his company, and women warm to him; I see Abby, who’s usually quite reserved, laugh when he murmurs something to her, and then nudge him playfully a couple of times, clearly at ease with his teasing manner, while Jules on his other side takes part in an affectionate sibling banter I know has been going on for years.
He’s also an amazing diplomat; I don’t know whether she or Stefan is aware, but Ryan spends the greater part of our time at the table verbally stepping in between Jules and Stefan. It’s clear to me they both feel awkward with one another. From what Ryan said, Stefan knows she likes him but has chosen for his own reasons not to make the most of that attraction, and that’s hurt her feelings, because she likes him a lot. But Ryan skillfully includes them both in the conversation without overtly pushing them to talk to each other, and by the time we’re approaching the end of the dinner, they’re both laughing, and the atmosphere between them has thawed somewhat.
Toward the end, Stefan leans forward and says to Noah, “So come on then. You were going to make an announcement about where you’re whisking us off to in December.”
Everyone turns to Noah, who purses his lips. “I did say that,” he admits. “This is Leon’s big day, though. I don’t want to steal his thunder.”
Leon, sitting a few seats down, hears this and calls down the table, “Bullshit, Noah. I’m as on tenterhooks as everyone else. Come on, tell us!”
Noah chuckles. “All right.” He gets to his feet and faces the rest of his family. “Well, firstly, as you all know, Abby and I are getting married.” He stops and laughs as we all cheer, then holds up a hand. “It’s my and Abby’s first Christmas together, and Ethan’s first Christmas, so it feels important to mark that, too. But when I first suggested to Abby that we go away somewhere to celebrate, she said that our family,” he stresses the word ‘our’, implying Abby considers herself part of the family at the Ark, “have been so important to both of us that we want you all to be a part of that celebration. With that in mind, we thought it would be nice for us all to go somewhere cold for Christmas, as we never get a chance to spend the festive season in the snow Down Under. So… how do you fancy going to the North Pole?”
There’s a sudden, shocked silence around the table. My jaw drops. “Seriously?” I say.
His lips curve up. “Abby and I are getting married in Finland, in Lapland, which is in the Arctic Circle. There’s a rather wonderful center there called Santa’s Secret Village. It’s run by a couple, and I went to school with Eva, who’s now married to Rudi. We’ve kept in touch, and when I told her I was looking for a place to get married, she suggested the village. They’ve expanded the place over the last few years and have a wonderful exclusive lodge you can hire for families.”
“We’ll be there over Christmas?” Jules says, eyes wide.
“In the snow,” Noah confirms. “You’ll get to ride in a sleigh pulled by reindeer, and you can meet Santa, if you want.” He smiles.
Jules squeals, gets to her feet, and rushes around the table to hug him, while the rest of us break out into cheers, clapping our hands. Everyone’s talking at once, clearly thrilled by the idea.
“It’ll be a real, traditional Christmas,” Abby says, her eyes sparkling. “Sleigh bells and chestnuts roasting on an open fire and everything.”
“It’s going to be absolutely amazing,” I tell Noah as he kisses Jules on the cheek. “What a wonderful idea.”
“Thought it would be fun.” He releases Jules, and she laughs and spins to give me a hug. We’ve talked a lot about what it would be like to have the kind of Christmases we’ve seen on TV and in the movies, in the snow, with open fires and huge roast dinners. Our Christmases are spent around the pool, having barbecues and eating ice cream; it’s fantastic in its own way, but it’s not the same thing at all. Our cards still have robins and snow on them as a throwback to the fact that many New Zealanders’ ancestors came from Europe, and it will be fun to have a Dickensian-style Christmas for once.
“I think it’s time for speeches,” Hal says, getting to his feet. True enough, most people are finishing off their desserts, and I’m sure the staff are going to want to start clearing everything away soon so they can begin preparing for the evening.
He taps his wine glass, and the room gradually falls quiet. The waiters move around filling everyone’s glasses, while all the guests turn to face the top table.
My father begins by giving a moving talk about his son, and a beautiful speech about Nix and how proud he was to give her away today. He glances at me as he talks, and I know he’s wondering whether he’ll be able to give the same speech about me eventually. I can’t deny it hasn’t crossed my mind. Will I be sitting at the head of the table in a beautiful dress one day, my Mr. Right by my side? I can’t picture it. I can’t imagine ever finding a guy I want to settle down with for the rest of my life.
I glance at Ryan, and my heart misses a beat as I find him watching me. Is he thinking the same thing? I recall the words he said to me in the car, I’ll never get married again. I can completely understand that after what he experienced with Samantha, but it does make me sad. As good as it feels when I’m with him, we’re never going to be like Leon and Nix, mated for life.
Ryan’s still watching me. He’s not smiling, and I’m certain that similar thoughts are going through his head. Is he worried I’m going to complain that our ‘relationship’ will come to an end when we get back to the Ark? I don’t want him to regret sleeping with me. I knew it would only be a fling when I slept with him, and I can’t complain now that it’s not turning out how I’d like it.
As my father sits, and Leon stands to give his own speech, I slip off my shoe and move my foot across the short distance between me and Ryan, and rest it on his shoe. His eyebrows rise a fraction. I slip my toes beneath the hem of his trousers and trace them up his calf. His lips slowly curve up. Lifting my foot on top of his trousers, I slide it up his thigh, bringing it to rest between his legs. I wiggle my toes. He looks across at Leon, trying not to laugh, and he lowers a hand under the table. I wait for him to push me away, but he closes his hand around my toes and rubs his thumb across the ball of my foot. It’s an affectionate, tender, sexy gesture that takes me by surprise, and I stare at him for a moment, my pulse racing as I tingle all over.
Then I glance to the side and see Abby’s gaze on me. She gives me a wry smile, and suddenly I’m convinced she knows what I’m doing. As abashed as a six-year-old caught peeing in the swimming pool, I sit up a little, sliding my foot back into my shoe. When I do eventually sneak a look at Ryan, I’m expecting him to look as embarrassed as I feel, but all he looks is amused, and he gives me another wink before turning his attention to Hal, who’s just got to his feet.
I’d be nervous addressing a hundred or so people, but of course the inimitable Hal takes it in his stride. I half expect his speech to be full of jokes, as if he’s putting on a play. Indeed, he does crack a couple of gags. But to my surprise, most of his speech is emotional and heartfelt.
“I’m blessed in that not only do I have an amazing brother,” Hal says, lifting his glass to Ryan, “but I also have three fa
ntastic male cousins and a good friend who means the world to me.” He nods in turn to Albie, Noah, and Stefan, who all raise a glass back to him, and then he turns to Leon.
“Leon, you’re my cousin, but we’ve always been like brothers. Sometimes it’s led to friction, like the time we were both competing in the two hundred meters race at school and you beat me by half an inch in the final. I’ve never forgiven you for that.” He pauses and smiles and everyone laughs, and Leon grins. “But most of the time,” Hal continues, “it’s been amazing. You’ve always been there for me, dependable and solid, keeping me on the straight and narrow. Mainly because you scare the shit out of me.”
That really makes everyone laugh, especially when Leon smiles wryly and gives him the finger.
“I’m serious,” Hal states. “When you yell, everyone can hear it across the Ark, possibly right across the Bay of Islands. So therefore, I’m exceedingly glad you’ve managed to find yourself a woman who’s more than capable of keeping you in check.”
We all cheer, and Nix blushes a pretty pink.
“You’ve got your work cut out for you,” Hal says to her, “but amazingly you seem to have tamed the beast.”
She mimes cracking a whip and grins at her new husband. Leon just gives a lazy smile, taking it in good humor.
“Seriously, though,” Hal says, and for the first time he hovers on the edge of being choked up, an unusual sight in a guy who uses humor to cover his emotion. “I couldn’t have gotten where I have without you, and I hope you know how important you are to me, to the Ark, and to our family.”
All of us watching give a collective sigh, and Leon stands to give his cousin a bear hug as Hal fights to regain his composure. My brother whispers something in Hal’s ear, and Hal nods, tightening his arms. I feel a lump in my throat, and I have to blink back tears.
Leon sits back down, and Hal smiles at him. “I’m thrilled that you’ve found yourself such a smart, organized, intelligent, beautiful woman who, amazingly, loves you as much as you seem to love her. It’s no less than you both deserve. I’m sure everyone here wishes you many, many years of happiness, lots of fat children, and more dogs than you know what to do with. To Leon and Nix,” he says, raising his glass, and everyone lifts theirs and joins in with the toast.
I feel emotional and happy, and laugh when, as I wipe the tears away beneath my eyes, Stefan leans across and gives me a hug.
Opposite me, Ryan watches us, smiling. Abby gets to her feet to hand Ethan to Noah, but pauses to lean forward to whisper something in Ryan’s ear. His eyes meet mine, and he gives a little nod and murmurs something back, and she smiles.
What did she say, and what did he say back? I’ll probably never know, but the look in his eyes gives me goose bumps, and warms me all the way through.
Chapter Twenty
Ryan
While the organizers clear the tables so they can remove them and prepare the room for later, drinks are served in the garden, or a tour is offered of the castle and its grounds for visitors interested in its history.
Clio, of course, jumps at the chance, and I go because Clio’s going.
I feel oddly smitten. I can’t take my eyes off the girl. I can find something beautiful in all women, and today, dressed in their floor-length gowns and excited and happy at being in such a gorgeous location, the women who are present form a garden of gorgeous blooms. But it’s as if they’re all exotic flowers vying with each other to stand out from the crowd, and yet Clio is a daisy, and they all pale into insignificance beside her.
Jesus, I’ve got it bad. I’m practically writing poetry about her in my head. But I can’t help it. She’s so… young and fresh. Her skin is a flawless English rose. Her hair shines, and I feel an urge to unpin it and sink my hands into it. I want to mess it up, to kiss off her carefully applied lipstick, to push up her long skirts and kiss up her pale legs.
Abby obviously recognized that I couldn’t stop staring at Clio, because she whispered in my ear, “She’s very beautiful, isn’t she?” I could murmur in response. But it’s not just her physical beauty that’s captivated me. I love the fact that she always seems in high spirits, and she’s almost always laughing. When I look at her, my heart lifts. How many times has that happened in my life?
As those who are going on the tour wander out of the building onto the large drive, I follow Clio and come to stand beside her as she stands looking up at the castle.
“Imagining your great-great-great-grandmother standing here doing the same?” I ask her.
She glances up at me and smiles. “Yes, exactly. It gives me a weird feeling. I’ve done quite a lot of research on her and William, her father, the man who built the castle, but it’s strange to actually be standing here at last.”
“Tell me about him,” I ask her, because I want to hear her talk, and we begin walking slowly toward the castle.
“He came to New Zealand from Australia when gold was first discovered in Otago,” she says, naming the area around Dunedin. “That was in 1867, and he was manager of the Bank of Otago. He was also a cabinet minister in the New Zealand government. He had six children, and his favorite was his eldest daughter Kate, but unfortunately, she died before him, of typhoid.”
“That’s sad.”
“Hmm. In 1898, he took his own life in the New Zealand parliament buildings.”
I stare at her in surprise. “Wow, really? Why?”
“Some say it’s because his finances were in trouble, others because his third wife, Constance de Bathe Brandon, was reportedly having an affair with his younger son, Douglas.”
“Jeez.”
“Yeah. William sounds like quite a character. He was known for his practical jokes in Parliament, he was an athletic rider, he danced and sang, and he loved his whisky.”
“A man after my own heart.”
She smiles. “You’ll have to try some of the special whiskies behind the bar. I have a feeling Hal, Stefan, Leon, and the others are going to be working their way through them tonight.”
“I will,” I tell her. “Don’t want to get too drunk, though. I want to make the most of this evening.”
She gives me a mischievous look. “Still planning on getting your leg over?”
“Damn straight.”
She laughs and takes my hand as we reach the bottom of the steps up to the front door. “Come on, it looks as if the tour’s about to begin.”
In the end, we take over an hour going around the castle. Although it’s not a traditional fortification like those in Europe, with six-foot-thick walls and arrow-slit windows, it’s a beautiful building, restored by the Barker family, who bought it in 1967. We’re taken through rooms containing marble fireplaces and mahogany carvings of flowers, birds, and butterflies, with plasterwork grapes and vines, and Tasmanian blackwood paneling. Hand-etched Venetian glass once again portrays roses, shamrocks, silver ferns, and thistles. Oak and mahogany stand cheek-by-jowl with New Zealand kauri and rimu woods. There’s a nursery floor with a marble bath weighing a whole ton that’s a copy of a bath from Herculaneum. And through a pair of black curtains we enter a room displaying the wedding dress of the Constance who supposedly had the affair.
We stand and study it, close, but not touching. The other couple who were there before us go out, and now it’s just us in the quiet room.
Clio’s gaze is a little distant as she gazes at the dress, reminding me of how she looked at dinner, when Matt was talking about giving away Nix. I suppose all fathers of girls imagine that moment. I think about William Larnach, who lost his daughter to typhoid; as hard as it may be to give your daughter away to another man, it’s a rite of passage, an achievement to bring a child to adulthood and then pass them on to their partner. It must be incredibly sad to lose a child in that way.
“Did you and Samantha talk about having children?” Clio asks, so I know her thoughts are similar to mine.
“When we were younger, she said she wanted to wait until she was in her thirties and her career was
established before she had kids. That was fine by me. And then, as we neared thirty, everything started to fall apart anyway, so it wasn’t an issue. I couldn’t picture the two of us with children. It wasn’t part of the equation.”
“And now?” She looks up at me. “Do you want kids?”
I meet her blue-eyed gaze for a moment. I told her I’ll never marry again, and up until this moment I couldn’t picture that ever happening. Can I picture myself with someone like Clio, though? Can I imagine being married to someone else, and my wife being pregnant, or standing there with my baby in her arms?
I don’t know. Samantha hurt me badly. It was as if she reached into my ribcage, tore out my heart, and stomped on it. Actually, that’s not true; it was more as if my heart was of little consequence to her, like the ants beneath her feet. Will I ever be able to love again? Doing so would mean opening up to someone else and trusting that things would turn out all right. I’m not sure if I’m ready for that. Will I ever be?
“What about you?” I ask, conscious I haven’t answered her and wondering if she’ll push me to reply.
But she doesn’t. She looks thoughtful and turns her gaze back to the wedding dress on the stand. “I guess I’ve always thought it would happen one day. I’m in no hurry though.”
Behind us, someone comes through the door, and then a voice says, “Oh, hey you two!” It’s Summer, hand-in-hand with Zach.
“Hey,” Clio says, smiling. “Lovely wedding, wasn’t it?”
“Wonderful,” Summer says with a sigh. “It’s so good to see Leon happy. I did wonder whether he’d ever find someone to put up with his grumpy-bear ways, but Nix seems to be able to handle him.”
My Wicked Billionaire (The Billionaire Kings Book 6) Page 14