by Beth Goobie
Tuning into the molecular field, she descended into its crackling hum and felt herself open into a liquid wave of sound. Yes, the beauty was still here, she could do this on her own. All she had to do was concentrate and she could sense the vibrations coming from the closest three-legged chair. That sound over there had to be the table, and the vibrating cradle of song that surrounded her could only belong to the blankets in which she was wrapped. Running along her back was the thick murmur of the warehouse wall, and beyond it the deepening melody of night settling into the street. Everywhere Nellie sent her mind, she could hear the faint white cry of summer heat sinking into the soothing tones of darkness. Breathing softly, she lay listening to the molecular field croon itself to sleep, touching this sound, then that one with her mind, and running her thoughts along the torn dead length of each gate she encountered.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t know how you were made. I thought you were just a thing, like a nail or a stone, but even they can sing and you can’t. I know I used a lot of gates, but I swear I only made the one at the Sanctuary of the Blessed Goddess. Funny, it only hurt the second time I used it, when I was coming back through. Maybe it went into shock when I tore it open the first time, like when you cut your finger and it doesn’t hurt right away. What’s it like to be dead? Can you see—no hear—the world of the dead? Can you hear my mother? Is she just dead space now, without feelings, or can she still love the most important person in her life? Does she remember me ... ?”
But the gates gave her no answer and at length, worn out by questions, Nellie fell asleep, the song of the evening air crooning gently against her skin.
Chapter 17
SHE WOKE TO THE SCRAPE of the padlock being slipped from the door. Shock ricocheted through her and she bolted upright, clutching the blankets and staring around herself at the shadowy room. Where am I? What is this place? What am I doing?
“Nellie?” hissed a voice from the doorway. “You awake?”
Deller. Pulling the blankets over her head, Nellie sank to the floor in an acid wave of relief. “Yeah, I’m here,” she mumbled, jamming her hands into her underarms to contain their shaking.
“Where?” demanded Deller. Cautious footsteps shuffled into the room and she lowered the blankets to see him standing in the doorway, peering about himself. As he caught sight of her he went stock still, then wrapped his arms tightly around himself. “They got Mom,” he mumbled, sinking to the floor opposite and hugging his knees with his arms. “They got Mom, and they bombed the Jinnet.”
Rigid in her nest of blankets, Nellie stared at his hunched figure. “Your mom?” she stammered. “The Jinnet? What—?”
“I went out last night,” Deller said helplessly, still hugging himself. Even in the thick pre-dawn gray, she could see he was shivering.
“To watch the church, see if they had another meeting. There was a Jinnet meeting at the same time. I was supposed to be there.” Dazed, he covered his face with his hands. A whimper came out of him, then another. “The resistance is over,” he said. “They killed Dad five years ago—left him in a field with the Mark of Silence on him. Now Fen’s probably dead, and Mom’s gone too.”
Nellie’s skin leapt with panic. Jumping to her feet she grabbed one of the blankets, darted across the room, and wrapped it awkwardly around Deller. In the soft bewildered heartbeats that followed she found herself on her knees beside him, her hands fluttering about his head, gently brushing his hair from his face.
“Your mom?” she whispered. “They got your mom?”
Shoulders caved, Deller stared at the floor. “I watched the church for a while, but nobody came. So I went to the restaurant.” He faltered, and she heard his swallow lock halfway down his throat. “It’s gone, just a pile of rocks. There was a crowd, people wailing, cops and fire engines. Someone set off a bomb in the meeting room. Everyone’s dead.” A deep shudder ran through him. “So I went home, but when I got there, they were taking her away in a car.”
“Who was taking her?” Nellie asked hoarsely.
Deller’s eyes flicked toward her, slurred with fear. “Ayne. And the extra man who came to the church the night we set it on fire.”
“The ninth man?” Nellie asked. “The Interior agent?”
Deller nodded and another shudder ran through him. “There was blood on her face,” he said. “I didn’t know what to do. I took off after them on my bike, but I lost them after a couple of blocks. I don’t know where they took her. And it’s all my fault. It’s because I took you to the Jinnet. They probably think she knows where I hid you.”
Heart thudding, Nellie rocked back on her heels. “No, it’s my fault,” she whispered. “They took her because they were looking for me. And I swear on the Goddess’s name, Deller—I’m not doing anything else until we save your mom and Fen.”
Deller’s gaze locked with hers, so tight she felt the whole weight of him hanging on with his eyes. In that long stretched moment, Nellie realized he didn’t have in him what she had in herself. He’d lost too many people, and one more would bring the twisting weasely passageways of his mind caving inward, leaving him with nothing but wrecked rubble.
“Don’t worry,” she muttered, giving his shoulder a careful pat. “I’ll figure something out. Just don’t go working yourself into conniptions.”
A tremor crossed his face and he nodded. Standing, she crossed the room and perched on the edge of the table. “If we went back to your place and you showed me where the car was parked, maybe I could read the vibrations,” she said thoughtfully. “Pick up something. I don’t know what, but—”
“They’ll have a watch posted,” Deller said dully.
Nellie scowled and scratched her neck intensely. “Wait a minute,” she said. “You were there. I bet I could read it through you.” Slipping off the table, she crossed the room and stood before him. Suddenly the blood was thudding through her body, and pinpricks of sweat scattering across her skin. What had she just gone and promised? She didn’t know if this would work and hope was creeping across Deller’s face like the first bit of sun coming into a day. Well, nothing to do about it now but try.
“What are you doing?” he murmured as she fluttered a hand to each side of his head.
“Just think about what you saw with your mom,” she said gruffly. “All of it, every second.”
“Well,” he said. “When I got there they were shoving her into a car, and—”
“Shh,” said Nellie. “Words’ll mix me up. Just think about it, and I’ll see it in my mind.”
It was a fierce wild guess, something like the desperation that came to her on a crowded street when someone was on her tail, telling her the turn to the left was a better chance at escape than the one to the right. Still, it seemed to be working. Images were beginning to form in her mind, hazy figures, but she recognized them immediately—Deller’s mother, blindfolded, with her hands tied behind her back, being shoved into the back seat of a car. Then Ayne getting in beside her as the ninth man from the church slipped into the front seat. Fighting the giant ache of her heart, Nellie forced her gaze from the blood on Deller’s mother’s face to the man behind the wheel, concentrating until she could see the shape of his right ear, the curve of his nose and his upper lip.
C’mon, scaredy cat, she thought grimly. It’s just vibrations. You’re a bunch of vibes, he’s a bunch of vibes.
Abruptly all sense of her surroundings, even her own body, left her, and she was slipping through the brief thickness of the man’s skull into the warm ooze of his brain. Vibrations pulsed everywhere, she was caught in a sudden maze of light. Holding herself steady, not wanting to get lost in the mad wild pulse, she scanned the closest vibrations and tried to form a cohesive picture from the images she was picking up. Then without warning her body was back, the heat of Deller’s scalp again pulsing between her fingers.
“The Temple of the Blessed Heart,” she gasped, letting her hands fall from his head. “The big church downtown. I saw a pic
ture of it in the agent’s mind. That’s where they took her.”
“The Blessed Heart?” asked Deller, staring at her. “That’s next to City Hall. And police headquarters.”
“So?” asked Nellie.
“So they’re both major connections to the Interior,” he said, white-faced. “City police are your last cup of tea. That’s what they say at the Jinnet.”
“D’you think the Temple is connected to City Hall and the police?” demanded Nellie.
“It’s got to be,” Deller said grimly. “They’re taking Mom there, and the cops are next door. I’m sure the Goddess doesn’t know about it, though,” he added quickly, slanting her a glance. “Just the priests.”
Nellie nodded, her stomach an ooze of fear. Why would the Goddess permit such evil in Her Temple? Why didn’t She strike all the priests dead? “Well,” she said, getting to her feet. “The cops don’t know what I look like, and neither do the priests. If I borrowed your clothes, I’d look like a boy and—”
“Borrowed my clothes?” demanded Deller, thunderstruck.
“You can’t go,” said Nellie, looking down at him. “You’re tired, you’ve been up all night. And it’s your mom. You’ll be too crazy worrying about her to keep your head straight.”
Deller stared at her, his eyes red-rimmed and grim. “I’m coming,” he said.
Nellie’s shoulders sagged with relief. “Okay,” she mumbled. “Actually my head’s a little crazy right now. Maybe you can help me keep it straight.”
In the dim morning light, she saw the briefest of smiles touch Deller’s mouth. “C’mon then,” he said softly, and got to his feet. Slowly he held out his hand and stood waiting as if expecting something. Uncomprehending, Nellie stared at it until he reached further and slid his hand around hers. Warmth shot up Nellie’s arm like shock.
“Oh,” she whispered, and almost sat down on the floor.
They headed out the door.
ABOVE THE HORIZON the twin moons were two smudged thumb-prints, fading into the dawn. Deller biked steadily through the early morning streets, passing delivery trucks and vendors setting up their carts. Here and there the odd man could be seen sleeping off a holiday dose of erva, and halfway down an alley Nellie caught sight of a newspaper boy standing blissfully in one of the naturally occurring mindjoys that were scattered everywhere at this time of year. Then, coming around a corner, a glimmering undulation between two garbage pails caught her eye. Flux! A fierce longing flared through her, but she gripped the bike seat firmly and fastened her gaze to the pair of brass hands that rose in the distance above the Temple of the Blessed Heart. Just seeing those dawn-lit hands quickened her breath. There was the Goddess, holding the entire city in Her hands, praying for them all. Surely this kerfuffle with Deller’s mother was some kind of bizarre mistake that could be sorted out with a little faith.
As they neared the downtown district, they began to encounter city maintenance crews setting up decorations for the festivities that were to take place that evening. With a pang Nellie realized it was the seventh of Lulunar and she’d missed the pageantry and games mounted the previous evening to celebrate the descent of the Goddess’s twin sons into the underworld. Downtown streets would have been packed with audiences watching theater troupes act out the story of the twins’ separate searches through the netherworld, while clowns with sad faces mimicked the brothers’ desolate return to the land of the living without the longed-for reunion. Tonight there would be a festival to celebrate their individual homecomings with fireworks, free mindjoy booths and mirror masks for one and all.
Several blocks from the church, Deller dismounted from the bike and walked it into an alley, looking for a place to hide it. As she waited for him, Nellie leaned casually against a store wall and watched a nearby vendor set up a cart of baked goods. Various sweet and spicy scents invaded her nose and her stomach gave a long grumbling burp. She’d had nothing to eat since the previous night, and her head was giving off the silvery ache that came with missing breakfast. Already wearing his mirror mask, the whistling vendor bent down to unpack a box of supplies. Immediately Nellie’s hand shot out, snatching two fruit pies from his cart. Then she slipped into the alley and handed one to Deller, who’d just stashed the bike behind a large garbage bin.
“I remembered something,” he mumbled, demolishing it in several bites. “That shock box Millen used on you? It was Hadden who brought them into the Jinnet—the guy you say is Interior Police. He must have gotten them from the Interior.”
“Did he get them to use erva too?” asked Nellie.
“Erva’s always been around,” shrugged Deller. “But the Double Goodbye—that was his idea.”
They turned down another street and the Temple of the Blessed Heart came into view, facing them from several blocks away. A myriad of gables and spires, its gray stone outline dominated the skyline, dwarfing City Hall and police headquarters, which stood to either side. Nellie’s eyes darted between the three buildings, so closely juxtaposed. She’d never before considered a connection between them. Surely Deller was dreaming. The Goddess wouldn’t allow it, She wouldn’t.
Several police cars drove past, and Deller turned his head, obscuring his face. “Uh, why don’t we use the alley?” he said, turning down a lane that led into the parking lot behind City Hall. Their feet scuffed loudly in the early morning quiet. “Ever been in this church?” he asked as they passed City Hall and began to cross the parking lot. Nellie shook her head. “Me neither,” he said. “Gurry’s brother was one of its altar boys for a couple of years. He told Gurry he’d found a secret door, but he wouldn’t say where. And over there,” he added, pointing to the river that flowed behind the church. “That’s where Gurry found the skull one day while he was waiting for his brother after a service.”
Nellie shrugged, disinterested in skulls and altar boys. “Where can we get in this early?” she asked, staring up at the church.
“Gurry used to talk about a door at the back that didn’t close properly,” said Deller. “His brother and some friends used it to get in one night. They wanted to check out the secret door, but a priest caught them and they had to take off.”
“Which door was it?” Quickly Nellie scanned the back wall of the church. She could see at least five entrances.
“Dunno.” In the growing light Deller looked pale, but the grim set of his mouth remained unchanged. They approached the church, quieting the scuff of their feet until they were almost on tiptoe. From behind came the sound of a car pulling into the parking lot. Abruptly Nellie turned and glanced around. No more than ten vehicles were scattered about the vast parking area shared by City Hall and the church.
“Seen any of these cars before?” she asked. Deller turned to look and his eyes widened.
“That one,” he said softly, pointing to a blue car that matched the one she’d seen in his memory.
“So, they are here,” Nellie whispered, her fear deepening within her. It looked as if she was going to need a lot more than faith to carry this off. If only, she thought, her eyes flicking toward the twin moons, her double in the gold-brocaded dress would step out of thin air right about now and give her some advice on what to do. But doubles never seemed to be around when you actually needed them. Listen, the thought came to Nellie, and she shrugged. Well, it was something. Turning to the church, she let her mind tilt to the right and tuned into the molecular field. Instantly she was hit with such a roar of energy that she staggered backward, an arm raised to her face.
“What’s the matter?” Deller demanded.
“It’s the church.” Nellie lowered her arm to find herself tuned back into solid reality, Deller standing beside her, staring at her in confusion. “It sounds like all the demons in hell screaming at me,” she stammered. “I was trying to listen to it, and that’s the sound it makes. Like it’s made up of demon screams.”
They glanced simultaneously at the church. “Why would it sound like that?” Deller asked uneasily.
“
Dunno,” said Nellie, her face twisting. “But I can’t ... hear the Goddess anywhere. I don’t think She’s in there, Deller. Why wouldn’t She be in Her own holy house?”
Deller’s shoulders sagged. “So,” he said carefully, not meeting her eyes. “Does that mean you want to go back?”
Nellie’s eyes skittered across his face. “No,” she said quickly. “I’ll just concentrate on hearing the Goddess. She’s got to be in there somewhere.”
Tentatively, she tuned back into the molecular field and was again hit by a barrage of screams, hisses and long drawn-out sobs. Within seconds her mind began to buckle and an ugly wave of panic reared through her. Where was the Goddess, Her pure and holy spirit? Why wasn’t She here to welcome Her chosen ones, two children who’d come to rescue a mother? Blinking furiously, Nellie fought to get a grip. Scaredycatness and loneliness weren’t going to help her here. The Goddess was in there somewhere and so was Deller’s mother, and—
Her mouth dropped in slow astonishment. Of course! The Goddess was with Deller’s mother, protecting her from harm. That was why She hadn’t had time to banish the evil from the Temple walls—She was busy with more important things. With renewed determination, Nellie sent herself into the soundscape before her. The Goddess had one job, and she had another. If she could just figure out some way to listen to bits of the wall instead of the whole building, she might be able to pick up something helpful. Flicking her mind lightly along the wall, she flinched from one vibration to the next, processing the images that came to her. The actual layout of the place seemed pretty ordinary. She’d located several rooms, a maintenance closet and a hallway. And there, two doors down along the outer wall, she could see it quite clearly in the molecular field—an open space in the doorjamb where the lock hadn’t quite caught.