“Sorry. It’s complicated.”
“How complicated?”
I turned to look out the window, wishing that I had good news to bring to the visit. The whole plan had been based on making my mother happy and letting her attend at least one of her children’s weddings before it was too late, but now it had evolved into something deeper. Much deeper than I knew how to handle. It would have been easier for me to just cut Kate loose and walk away, find someone else and start over, but I couldn’t.
“Jonathan?” my mother pressed, raising an eyebrow. “Have you and Kate…?”
I shook my head.
“No, we’re still together,” I lied. “We just…”
She pointed to the pile of papers on her side table.
“Then why am I seeing you fighting with your best friend and out with other women?”
I ran my fingers through my hair. She was right—of course she was. I’d been untouchable for far too long. I’d been the one to hurt and not get hurt, but now when the shoe was on the other foot, I couldn’t protect the feelings that I was developing from getting trampled on.
“When I found out this disease was going to take me, Jonathan, I never thought I’d get to see you happy. I saw a glimmer of it recently but now…”
“I’m happy,” I interrupted. “I promise. It’s just complicated. I have a few things to sort out first.”
She watched me intently, and I knew she wasn’t convinced.
“If you love this woman then you shouldn’t ever let her go.”
“Unfortunately, she’s one of those rare beauties that aren’t fazed by my wealth or status. I don’t know. I think I hurt her beyond repair.”
“Then you’ll have to fix it. Show her that you were wrong. Make it up to her.”
“I don’t know how. I’m not that guy, remember? I never have been.”
“Then start! When we were younger, I saw your father dancing with another girl at the dance and I wouldn’t speak to him for two weeks.”
“You never mentioned this. What did he do?”
“He came and stood outside my front porch every day until I forgave him. Every night he’d serenade me with little songs he’d made up, and he’s not even a singer. God rest his soul, he sung until he had me again. The point is, Jonathan, you have to go deep. Get out of your comfort zone and channel that inner romantic we brought you up to be.”
I stood up, the penny dropping instantly. I knew what I was going to do, and I’d never felt so sure of something in my life.
I went over and kissed her cheek.
“I’ll see you again shortly, but there’s something I have to do first.”
“You run along now and remember, if she’s worth fighting for then that’s exactly what you have to do.”
I went towards the door to leave, but stopped and looked back at her.
“Thanks again,” I whispered. For the first time since we’d starting talking I realized just how frail and slim she looked with dark rings under her eyes, and I felt a stab of fear in the pit of my stomach.
I was so used to having her around that the reality hit—one day she wasn’t going to be there. The fountain of knowledge and rational thinking would be gone, and if I didn’t have Kate and Jessica, I’d be alone.
Anna stood at the desk in front of me, nodding as I explained the status of mine and Kate’s relationship. I saw the look on her face when I told her the reason why we were no longer getting married.
“I have to tell her the truth,” I said, getting up from my chair and walking to the window. “I have to let her know what was going on that night, and that’s why I brought you here. I can’t keep your secret anymore.”
She sighed and shook her head.
“I wish you’d told me sooner.” She walked over to me and placed a hand on my arm. “You do what you need to do, however you need to do it. I’m not here to cause trouble in your relationship. I just wanted to wait for the documents to come back before you told her…”
“I think I’ve lost her.”
She shook her head again and walked back over to where her purse was on the desk and pulled out a piece of paper.
“Don’t worry. You do what you need to do. I understand.” She handed it to me and pulled me down towards her. “You tell her I’m sorry, okay? Then come and find me.”
I nodded as she pulled away and walked towards the door.
“Thank you, Anna,” I said just before she left my office. “I appreciate everything…”
She smiled and nodded before leaving, and I took a deep breath looking at the paper in my hands. I just hoped that telling her would make her understand that she was the only one I wanted right now. The only one that had ever meant something to me.
I pressed the intercom and Helen’s voice sounded throughout the room.
“I need you to arrange the jet for tomorrow afternoon,” I said, confident I was making the right decision.
“Tomorrow?” she questioned.
“Correct. Tomorrow, and I need James ready to take me to Kate’s place.”
“Is that wise, Jonathan? You have a full schedule tomorrow, not to mention the meeting with…”
“Clear the whole day.”
“But…”
“Clear it all and confirm with me once the arrangements are in place.”
“Of course.” She paused for a moment before speaking again. “Where shall I say you’re going?”
“Paris, Helen. I’m going to take Kate to Paris…”
Kate
“You’re actually going to go back to that hellhole?” my roommate Kim asked, shaking her head disapprovingly as I emerged from my room with my uniform on.
“I need the money,” I responded regretfully. I wasn’t as lucky as others in New York who had family and friends to turn to when they were down on a month’s rent. I had to do everything by myself, and I couldn’t afford to give up on the bar job when I didn’t have anything else to fall back on.
Kim followed me into the kitchen and watched me pull an apple from the fruit bowl.
“But the manager wanted pervs to slobber over you just to keep business?”
“I know, but if I just keep my head down, I’m not going to notice what’s going on.”
“Kate…”
“Once I find another place, I’ll move on.”
She sighed.
“What about Jonathan? I mean, you were engaged to one of the richest men in New York…”
“How did you…?”
“I read the news,” she said shortly. “Of course I know who you are…”
I felt myself blush involuntarily, embarrassed that news of my personal life had reached even someone like Kim who didn’t seem bothered by celebrity relationships and tabloid gossip.
I put another apple in my bag and looked back up at her.
“Jonathan and I were never like that. It wasn’t about money—well, not really. I actually liked him.”
“Then…”
She stopped as the buzzer sounded, and we both looked at each other before she got off her chair and pranced to the door.
“I guess that’s Max. I won’t be a second.”
She left the room, and I put the rest of my apple in the bin and washed my hands. What Kim had said still clouded my thoughts, and I tried to imagine myself back at the bar despite the anger I’d built up previously. And in some way I felt ashamed of myself. Ashamed that I was so desperate for money that I would put myself in the position to be perved on by men that treated me as nothing but an object who served them.
I looked at my blurred reflection in the kitchen window and sighed because I just wanted to be happy. I’d spent my whole life just wanting to be content. I wanted to have a job that I enjoyed and friends that actually cared about me, and I just wanted to wake up and have a purpose.
I heard Kim call my name, and I ran a wet hand over my face to hide the redness that my sudden onslaught of emotion had given me.
I wasn’t in the best of mood
s to greet her overly sarcastic boyfriend, but I couldn’t hide in the kitchen all evening.
I came out wiping my hands on my uniform when there, standing in the hallway beside Kim, was Jonathan. My Jonathan.
She had a huge smile on her face as she beamed at me.
“Look who I found on the doorstep…” She gestured towards him. “I’m going to make myself scarce. I’ll be in my room if you need me.”
She hurried past me, squeezing my arm as she went, leaving both Jonathan and I alone. I looked at him, still shocked that he was actually there in my apartment in person, and seeing him again after a few weeks was like the first time I’d set eyes on him.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, looking at him from my safe distance. The side of his mouth turned up into a slight smile before disappearing. He looked as handsome as ever with one hand in his pocket and the other clasping a large brown envelope.
He closed the space between us slowly and I took a step backwards, not wanting to allow him too close because I knew the effect he had on me, but the wall behind stopped me from going any further.
“Kate…”
“You don’t just get to come here like this,” I whispered, emotion making my voice break. “I’m on my way to work right now and…”
“Fuck work!” he said sternly. “You’re not going back.”
“I have to.”
He stopped in front of me, taking his hand from his pocket and stroking the side of my face. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply before opening them again.
“What do you want from me?” I asked, my voice wavering.
He stepped even closer so that I could feel the length of him against me, and my head screamed at me to move away from him, but I couldn’t or wouldn’t… I didn’t know.
“I want you to understand that you’re wrong about me.”
“I know what I saw,” I said beneath his hard stare.
“Wrong,” he pointed out. “You know only what you wanted to see.”
“So who was the woman at your place? The one with the inflatable tits?”
“She means nothing to me at all and that’s what I want to tell you. I want you to come away with me so I can explain everything…”
“Explain it now.”
His eyes searched mine and he shook his head.
“We need to get out of this city and have some time alone. I need you to come with me and I’ll tell you everything.”
“Why now? Why couldn’t you tell me back then when it mattered? When I was breaking in front of you?”
He let the envelope drop to the floor with a thud and he came closer to me, running his fingers around to the nape of my neck. I tried to pull back but he wouldn’t let me.
“I know it sounds hard to understand, but you have to trust me. I promised I wouldn’t mention it. Nothing was set in stone yet, and I didn’t want to cause any problems rather than fix them. Believe me when I say I wanted to tell you.”
“How do I know you haven’t just made this up?”
“Come with me, Kate. Come away with me and let me make this up to you. Let me show you that there’s more to me than you think.”
I looked at him intently, wanting to believe him and wanting to fall back into his arms again because life had been so much more enjoyable when he was in it, but there was a part of me that had been hurt over and over again, and I wasn’t sure if I could let a man like Jonathan in to wreak havoc with my heart. He had the potential to destroy me, and I didn’t know how well I could handle it a second time around.
He pressed his lips to the corner of my mouth and then stepped away from me.
I watched him pick the envelope up and offer it to me. I took it hesitantly.
“Jonathan…”
“Do you have a passport?” he interrupted.
I nodded.
“Good. Then I’ll see you tomorrow. James will pick you up at eleven.”
“But I have work…”
“I want you to leave that place,” he said again sternly, and he reached into his pocket, pulling out a check. “Give this to whoever you live with. It’s your share of the rent for a year until they find someone else.”
“I can’t accept that,” I said pointing to it. “That’s way too much and I…”
He pinned me against the wall, bringing his lips to my ear and lowering his voice into a deep whisper.
“I’m used to getting what I want, Kate.”
I felt his breath against my skin and it made me shiver slightly with pleasure.
“You can’t have everything,” I responded as his fingers touched just above my hip.
“I don’t want everything, Kate. I just want you, and I’ve done nothing but think about you from the moment you walked away from me. I can’t stop thinking about you, and I’ll be damned if you think I’m going to give up and let you go so easily. What I said was true. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. Anyone.”
He stood up, giving me space again, and I realized I’d been holding my breath.
“I want to see you there tomorrow. Give me a chance to explain and I’ll never let you down again.”
He turned to walk away but I held onto his arm.
“Jonathan wait…”
“Tomorrow,” he pressed. “Be there tomorrow.”
He walked out of my grip towards the door, stopping only to give me a long look before he disappeared through it, and I stood there for a moment pulling all my thoughts together before Kim came out of her room and rushed to my side.
“Are you okay?” she breathed.
I nodded, the envelope shaking in my hands.
She took it from me and boldly opened it, pulling out a small card and giving it to me.
I read it, my heart pounding uncontrollably as my eyes scanned the words over and over until they were etched in my memory:
“I don’t know what I’m feeling or even how to describe it, but all I know is that everything is centered on you. Come away with me and give me a chance to explain and show you there’s more to me than you think. Be packed and ready for eleven, Kate. You make me… just remember that. Yours, J”
Chapter Twelve
Kate
The car sent to pick me up sped towards the airport, and I looked out the window watching the world go by, wondering if I was doing the right thing and whether or not going to meet Jonathan was what I really needed.
I knew for myself that I had to hear his explanation. I’d give him that much, but the wall that he’d knocked down around me had been well and truly rebuilt. It didn’t matter how often I lay awake in bed imagining his arms around me or hoping he’d turn up and walk through the door. None of that mattered anymore because I was in love with a Casanova. I’d always have to compete with someone for him, and I didn’t want to end up like Jessica in five years’ time, sitting at home waiting for him to come back to me.
I knew it was probably the first time anyone had wanted such a thing, but I just wished he were normal. I wished he wasn’t a billionaire, and I wished that we could just have a normal relationship where we were both just nobodies.
I put my head back against the seat rest and closed my eyes, trying to picture that night on the beach and the words he’d said and the way he looked as he led me up the stairs to his bed, and it was then that I realized how closed-minded I was being.
I’d never met a man like Jonathan before—so level-headed, domineering, and a real alpha male—and whenever he was right in front of me I wanted his hands on my body, all over me, and when he wasn’t there I craved him. Love, feelings and emotions like that were hard to find and feel, and the thought that I’d been willing to let him go without hearing his side made me feel sick.
I knew he wanted me. I got that from the constant messages and emails I received from him and ignored, but I’d never actually imagined what it would be like to see him splashed over the pages of the tabloids about to marry someone else, knowing that I could never have him back and that it could have been me.
I felt a pang of excitement in my stomach as we neared, and I decided that no matter what, I was going to enjoy his company because for once in my life the man I was about to travel with was the only person in my whole world who actually cared and wanted me, and it made me feel special. How could I give that up? How could I let that go and go back to meaning nothing?
The car pulled up airside and James opened the door, helping me out onto the short red carpet.
There in front of me was a private jet. I stared at it for a moment while another man retrieved my bag from the trunk, in awe of the experience I was about to embark on.
“I’m going on this?” I asked a woman who approached me.
She nodded and smiled.
“That’s correct. This way please.”
She ushered me along the carpet to the stairs, and I held onto the rail as I climbed up, my heart pounding wildly until I reached the top and was greeted by another beaming woman.
“Jonathan is just to the left towards the back of the plane,” she said, pointing ahead. “He’s waiting for you.”
I followed her directions and there he was, deep in conversation with the pilot.
He came towards me immediately, running a hand through my hair instead of hugging me.
“You came,” he said seriously.
“Did you think I wouldn’t?”
He shook his head keeping his eyes on mine.
“I knew if you had any real feelings left for me, you’d come.” He kissed the side of my face and ran his hand down my arm. “Would you like something to drink?”
A woman appeared at our sides immediately, and Jonathan asked her for two glasses of champagne. She disappeared again as quickly as she’d arrived, giving me a chance to take a moment and look around at the plane.
It was finished in creams and beiges with thick, plush seats and a large TV screen. Towards the back I could see the sign for a toilet, and even further than that there was a room with the door slightly ajar revealing a stunning bedroom.
“This is beautiful,” I said, walking to one of the windows and looking out. “I didn’t know flying could be so…”
Keeper (A Billionaire Romance) Page 16