'Well, at least we know there's no danger of you ever being caught on my hook, don't we?' she said tartly.
Deeply hurt that the fool's paradise she had been in had shattered, she looked out of the side window. She had so enjoyed her evening, and had thought Nate had enjoyed it too. But the very way he hadn't bothered to answer showed that for all he seemed to think she could have any man dangling, it was obvious that whatever charms she was supposed to have had left him immune.
Then into the darkness of the car, so that she would have given anything to have seen his face, for all his words sounded sincere, he was rocking her suddenly by saying:
Tve spent all evening trying to deny how very much aware of you I am.'
Swallowing hard before she could speak, Kathryn managed to choke, 'You have?' and when he didn't answer found she loved him too much to leave it there. She just had to have a crumb to feed on. 'I—er—had the impression a few minutes ago that you didn't—er—like me very much.'
Nate negotiated a bend, drove on a little way to stop at some traffic lights, then as if he was aware she was looking at him, he turned his head. And then, very slowly, he smiled. And Kathryn smiled back, because he just wouldn't have smiled, would he—not if he hadn't liked her just a little bit.
All too soon he was halting his car outside her house.
Lightheaded just then, supremely happy that his smile must mean he had forgotten he had started out hating her and had begun to like her just a little, she turned ready with her thanks for the evening.
'I'll see you inside,' he said, opening the door his side.
Her heart started to race. Should she ask him in? They reached her landing, not saying anything, for Kathryn no words needing to be said. Outside her door Nate held his hand out for her key. Almost dreamlike she handed it to him, watching as he unlocked her door and pushed it inwards.
'W-Would you like you come in for coffee?' she asked quiedy before he could wish her goodnight—and knew he wouldn't. She felt unmistakable disappointment just the same when he gave her back her key and took a step away, that half smile appearing as he looked down into her face.
'I think not,' he said, as she knew he would. Then, unbelievably, 'I find you much too heady by far, Kathryn.'
'What—do you mean?" she asked, unable to credit that he had just said what it had sounded like.
'I mean,' he spelled it out for her, and all at once his face was deadly serious, 'a man could all too easily lose his head over you—if he didn't watch himself.'
And before she could do more than gasp at what he had said, his hands had descended on her shoulders, he had pulled her close, seemed to be about to kiss her, then had pushed her sharply away and was going quickly down the stairs.
All the next day Kathryn couldn't get the last words Nate had spoken out of her mind. She had been on cloud nine as she went to bed and in no frame of mind to dissect them then.
But by the time she went to bed on Sunday night, the euphoria that had been with her twenty-four hours ago had vanished, and cold heartaching logic was in its place.
For it was all too obvious now that when Nate had indicated that he could easily lose his head over her, the rest of the sentence, 'if he didn't watch himself', could only mean that he had every intention of watching himself, of keeping his head.
Kathryn knew what lay at the bottom of it, of course. Knowing as she did how each one of the Kingersbys regarded each other, Tim Kingersby had definitely cut her one day last week, there was no way Nate was going to let that small liking he had for her grow into anything bigger. Not while he still considered that through her his brother had very nearly permanently crippled himself, the responsibility was at her door that Rex still had months of being in hospital in front of him.
Loving Nate as she did, she tried to think up ways in which she could tell him just why she had thrown Rex over. But each time, when visualising his face after she had told him everything, all she could see was dark hatred that she bad dared to blacken his brother's character. Especially when Nate had told her already that Rex wouldn't tell him of their last meeting, believing as he did that Rex would die rather than blacken her name.
Her emotions were all over the place when she went to the office on Monday. She had told herself that not by word or deed would Nate have an inkling of how she felt for him. She was determined only to smile at him when the occasion really demanded it. She knew she would die a thousand deaths if he suspected from one unrestrained besotted smile how he made the world spin for her.
But the first thing she saw on opening the office door was a large vase full of red carnations. And she could do nothing about the smile that beamed from her as she looked from the flowers to Nate rising from his chair in the other room.
'I forgot to say thank you for filling in the breach at such very short notice on Saturday,' he said, coming towards her.
And taking her totally by surprise, he leaned forward and placed a whisper of a kiss on her forehead.
Then, not giving her time to reply, though speech had temporarily been taken from her, the imprint of his mouth burning on her forehead, he promptly returned to his office. And since his lightly given kiss had been a tribute of thanks, no more, Kathryn had to steady herself as best she could and try very hard to think like the business girl she had to be—at the office anyway.
Tuesday followed Monday as being another perfect day. She and Nate got on so well professionally that she went home both nights wishing she could explain and have his understanding about Rex, so that maybe she could have a chance with him outside their business relationship.
Nate had told her that when a Kingersby fell in love other women ceased to exist. Oh, to have a love like that! To have Nate love her the way she loved him. But it wasn't to be, she knew that. She knew too that when her three months working for him were up, and her faith with George Kingersby kept, then whether he liked her or not Nate would expect her to vacate her secretarial chair.
Well, she would make him realise he would be letting go one of the best secretaries in London, she vowed, and went to work on Wednesday determined to let him see what a treasure he would be losing when he accepted her letter of resignation at the appropriate time.
'Good morning,' she said cheerfully when she went in, then she plunged straight into her work, not unhappy to see lunchtime arrive when she could uncoil her spring for an hour.
Nate was out when she came back, but that didn't stop her charging through her work. And when he did appear, after being at a meeting, Kathryn found she had nothing left to do that wouldn't keep until tomorrow.
'You've been busy,' he commented when she followed
him into his office and placed his neatly typed correspondence before him.
'Some days one has more energy than others,' she said, flattered he had noticed, but not wanting him to think she had put herself out more than usual.
'Ah,' he said, that's the reason for your output, is it? And there was me thinking you had a date tonight and were anxious not to stay on a minute after five.'
When had she ever been in a rush to leave on the dot, apart from that day she'd had an S.O.S. from Sandra? she thought, starting to grow indignant in spite of herself that Nate thought her efforts had been entirely for her own ends. Well, maybe they were, but not in the way he was thinking.
'As it happens,' she said, her indignation showing, 'I don't happen to have a date tonight.'
'In that case,' he said, ignoring her indignation and proceeding to send it flying, 'perhaps you would do me the honour of dining with me?'
'Dine with you?' she exclaimed, her heart acting up again as it did so often, usually without him having to say anything that stunned her.
'It's not compulsory,' he said, as if reading from her exclamation that she wouldn't consider the idea. 'I just thought since you dropped everything to do me a favour last Saturday I should like to take you to dinner . . .'
'I don't need to be taken out to dinner as a payment for some favour I did you,' her
pride had her butting in. A flat feeling came that if that was his reason for asking her out, then it took away all the joy she had felt that he wanted to go out with her. 'Anyway,' she added, 'I enjoyed myself on Saturday, so I consider you owe me nothing.'
'Hell,' muttered Nate, 'of all the stiffnecked females . . .' Woodenry she looked at him, watched as his eyes narrowed briefly, then that half smile she was familiar with came out. 'Please, Kathryn Randle,' he said, with such charm her
pride sank without trace, 'will you dine with me tonight, for no other reason than that I think we both might enjoy it.'
'With pleasure,' she said, and had to laugh simply because he did at her prompt, pert answer.
Perhaps it's as well I don't go out with him all that often, she thought, churned up again as she bathed and dressed getting ready. I'm sure I'd be a nervous wreck if he was my steady date. Tears stung her eyes as she dwelt on how wonderful it would be if she went out regularly with Nate. And she lost herself in dreams of what would never be for the next ten minutes, so that in the end she had to scurry around to be ready in time.
Had Nate taken her to a Wimpy bar she would have been as happy; just being with him was enough. But it was to a hotel noted for the high quality of its cuisine that he took her. He was at his most charming as he guided her over the choice of her meal. And he appeared to be just as pleased to be with her as she was with him, so that she could only hope and pray he wasn't 'watching himself' tonight—that for tonight, impossible to imagine it as she found, he wouldn't care even if he did lose his head over her.
And as the evening progressed, the steak he had ordered delicious, served in a wine sauce, and with Nate proving himself a witty as well as a stimulating companion, Kathryn just sparkled.
Because of the work they shared, the office came in for discussion, but not for long. For Nate seemed to want to concentrate all his attention on the evening. On her, dared she hope!
'Your beautiful brown eyes make me want to forget work,' he said, a moment after she had enquired how things were going with the five-year plan he had mentioned he was working on.
Kathryn sparkled some more, her velvety eyes shining with pleasure. Hope reached a pinnacle in her desire for him
to forget everything, not just work. She didn't want him remembering he had a brother, didn't want him to remember that because of Rex he couldn't allow any emotion she aroused in him to rule him.
AH through the evening she had avoided mentioning his brother's name—and she had no intention of bringing him up now, when suddenly Nate said, 'Tell me about yourself, Kathryn, your life before I met you,' for all Rex had been part of her life before Nate had stormed into it.
She settled for telling him a little of her family background, though she would have.been much more interested in hearing about his formative years. But dared not say so, because she was afraid that any reference he made to his growing up must have Rex coming into it somewhere, and without having to think about it she knew that once Rex's name was mentioned Nate would be remembering what she had done to his brother, and the evening that was going so well would be ruined.
'Well, you know I have a sister Sandra,' she began. 'Sandra is seven years older than me.' She stopped as his eyes glinted and rushed on, cursing herself for her stupidity. Seven years was the same age difference between him and Rex. She had reminded him of his brother after all! 'We were brought up by our parents in a village near Oxford,' she said hurriedly, and felt relief rush in when Nate gave her that half smile and encouraged:
'You still have your parents?'
'My father is still alive,' she said, and as she remembered him a coldness gripped her. Her father had only ever tolerated her and Sandra. All the love in their childhood had come from their mother. 'He—he married again shortly after my mother died,' she told him, no warmth in her voice now as she remembered the way he had been led sobbing from the graveside. 'Three months afterwards, to be exact.'
'You sound as though you don't approve,' Nate commented mildly. 'Are you aggrieved that he so soon tried to find happiness with another woman?' And when she didn't answer, 'He probably loved your mother so well that the only way he could find consolation in losing her was to turn to someone else.'
Kathryn didn't want this conversation. It was putting a damper on the evening. But she couldn't have her mother's memory tarnished by agreeing, and therefore lying, that her father had been distracted at her passing.
'He never loved anyone but himself,' she said, looking away from Nate, painful memories resurrected. 'I was on my way back from holiday when she died, though she hadn't been ill when I went away. He loved her so much,' she said, unable to avoid the bitterness in her from spilling out, 'that even ill as she was, his prowling instinct was too much for him, and he left her to go away for a few days with one of his women. His affairs were legion.'
For long moments, as she tried to get rid of her wounded thoughts, tried to recapture the happiness that had been in her before she had got started on the subject of her thoroughly selfish father, neither of them spoke. Then quietly Nate said:
'So that's the reason you have such a colossal aversion to infidelity. Fidelity means everything to you, doesn't it?'
'I'm not paranoid about it,' she said lightly, and would have smiled then as with a superhuman effort she stamped down on the past.
Only her smile didn't get started, for just then a terrible harshness came to Nate's face and he was suddenly biting through clenched teeth:
'Is that why you jilted my brother?' And not giving her time to answer, 'Because you carry a resentment against all men? Because you wanted to make some man pay for the pain your mother suffered during her married life?'
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'No!' The exclamation shot from her in astonishment at the way he had analysed what she had told him. And with her breath catching in her throat she saw that he had changed completely from being the courteous host he had been. He wouldn't even allow her to finish when more slowly she tried, 'That wasn't the reason I. . .'
'No?' His harsh expression was cynically disbelieving. 'Why then did you jilt him? You knew damn well if it was fidelity you were after you had no need to look farther than Rex.' He'd got it all so wrong. But he wouldn't let her interrupt to tell him so. 'You timed it perfectly, didn't you?' he accused, nothing of the charming dinner companion about him now as he lashed her. 'Your misguided attempt to avenge your mother's sufferings on one of the male sex couldn't have been timed better, could it? What better way to humiliate him than by throwing him over a week before the wedding?'
'Nate, please!' she cried.
She saw then such a look of hatred on his face for her that she felt shocked, beaten, and knew then that any explanation she made would be seen as an effort to besmirch the Kingersby honour held dear by all of them. And loving Nate even while knowing all he felt for her at that moment was hate, her love went beyond her own personal need and she just couldn't hurt him—even if he didn't believe her should she try to tell him his brother wasn't the saint he thought him.
Striving for calm, she tried reason instead, needing to see something in his face other than hate. 'Had I wanted to humiliate Rex as you seem to think,' she said quietly, 'do you think I would have bothered to personally return his ring? Isn't it far more likely, if what you believe is true, that I'm— unhinged—because of my father's libertine ways, that I would have said nothing, but just left Rex standing there at the altar?'
Long agonising moments passed with Nate making no reply. And it was then Kathryn knew that the evening that had started out so beautifully was over. She reached for her bag, moved as though about to rise, then heard Nate's voice, quiet too,
'Why did you break off your engagement?'
She looked at him and her heart shed some of its sadness to see the hate had gone from him, his expression serious, his look direct.
'Do we have to discuss it, Nate?' And from her heart, 'Can't we just forget it?' She knew from the way his jaw jutted that she was as
king too much. But the evening was already in ruins; she didn't think she could take seeing that hate return if she dared to tell him the truth.
Then amazingly, to her delight, Nate changed again, all enmity gone. He even gave her that half smile as he remarked, 'We do tend to end up fighting whenever the subject of my brother comes up, don't we?' Then with his smile disappearing, though not the cordiality of his expression, he asked, 'Tell me one thing, though, Kathryn-'
She waited, ready to tell him anything since for the sake of retrieving the evening he seemed ready to put the subject behind him. 'Were you ever in ... Do you still love him?'
There was only one man she loved. She looked at that man, 'I'm no longer in love with Rex,' she said softly.
It seemed a miracle to her that after that, by sheer personality, Nate soon had her laughing again. And if the memory of that scene half way through her dinner was something unlikely ever to be forgotten, then she was ready to pretend it had never happened, as once more Nate became a charming and attentive escort.
She had no idea of the time when he took her home, and didn't care. All she knew was that like last Saturday she didn't want the evening to end. But this time when he went with her to her door, took the key from her and opened the
door, she held back the urge to invite him in for coffee—then found to her utter bliss that men like Nate Kingersby didn't wait for invitations if it was in their minds to prolong the evening.
With a warm look on bis face he handed her back her key. 'Am I allowed to come in to apologise fully for upsetting you earlier?' he asked softly, and didn't need to wait for her reply as he followed her in, closed the door quietly, then reached for her.
Unhesitatingly Kathryn went into his arms, feeling a thrill of delight as those strong arms enfolded her. 'I'm sorry too,' she said huskily, looking up at him her heart in her eyes.
'Dear Kathryn,' he breathed, and then his mouth was coming down over hers.
An exquisite sensation shot through her whole being to feel those firm yet mobile lips on hers. Her own lips parted as unreservedly she kissed him back, thrilled as his arms tightened about her as he felt her response. And while still kissing her Nate had done away with her coat and was caressing her bare arms, kissing the hollows in her throat, making her moan with pleasure as he trailed kisses to her ears. He had her clinging to him, wanting to get closer, had her hands beneath his jacket, the feel of his body heat through his shirt adding to her heightened senses.
The Other Brother Page 10