He flexes. “That’s my best man.”
I shake my head and laugh. Almost any pain in the ass chore is more fun if you turn it into a competition. We cart in all the boxes of flowers and divide them equally. We both start at the front of the church. We didn’t count the flower things but there doesn’t look like there are enough to do both sides of every pew in the church.
By starting at the main aisle, we’ll hit the most important sides and then start over at the front of the church on the other side if there are any left. Brian does the countdown and then we’re off. He trips and falls halfway, and it takes me a minute to stop laughing at him and make him promise not to break anything before the wedding. Because of his quick recovery, he wins. We manage to do the main aisle and half of the other sides.
“Man I need another shower,” I say, trying to get some air to flow under my shirt.
“You can hop in the shower at the house.”
I hesitate.” Will Sarah be there?”
He shakes his head. “They went up early to have their hair and makeup done at a salon. Then they’re getting dressed at Christine’s mom’s place.”
I follow him back to the house. Chip and Mr. Miller are drinking coffee in the kitchen. Brian stops me from taking a shower after his dad tells him Sarah’s wedding present is in the back of his car. I end up riding with Brian back to his place to help him carry it up. When we get there and open the back, I laugh. Brian looks at me like I’ve lost my mind.
I shake my head. “We got you the same tables, bud. Your sister and I each bought one piece to a matched set.”
We have to rush to get back and showered, so we don’t talk much. Once we’re back at his folk’s house, I wave at Chip and Mr. M before heading upstairs to shower. I see Sarah’s stuff all over the place. She was never very organized. In the shower, I’m like an addict looking for a hit. I open her bottle of conditioner and inhale pears. God, that smells good. I always liked the fruity smells more than the flowery stuff girls sometimes wear. I take a fast shower. Brian wants the shower so I get dressed in Sarah’s room.
After my conversation with Brian this morning, I’m not going to let her run off again like she did. As soon as the wedding is over, she’s telling me what happened. What did Jessica have to do with her leaving?
I follow Mr. M in my car as we drive back to the church. They didn’t choose separate ushers so the other groomsmen and I seat people as they show up. Brian is at the front of the church going over some last minute stuff with the pastor. We get the heads up from Mrs. M that the limo dropped the girls off at the side entrance and they’ll wait for Christine’s dad to collect them to start the procession. Brian walks over to us, catching the tail end of the conversation and rushes off with his mom hot on his heels. I’d follow him, but I just got tapped to escort Christine’s grandmother down the aisle.
When Brian gets back, he walks Christine’s mom to her seat while Mr. and Mrs. M walk behind them to their seats. After that, we all line up at the front and wait for the music to start.
“Where’d you go?” I ask out the side of my mouth.
“I went and talked to Chris.” He grins.
The ring bearer and flower girl are the kids of the maid of honor and one of the groomsmen and come out first. The guests all ohh and ahh over how cute they are. Yes, they’re cute, but I’m only interested in seeing Sarah. Time slows when she steps out. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to how beautiful she is. Her bridesmaid dress is pale blue, the same shade as the flower on my lapel.
Instead of falling past her shoulders, her brown hair is up; jeweled pins catch the light from overhead as she makes her way down the aisle. Our eyes lock, and all I can think is one day I hope our eyes lock as she walks down the aisle when she’s the bride becoming my wife.
I watch the ceremony feeling detached. It should be us up there. When it’s over, Justine, Christine’s best friend and maid of honor, and I follow Brian and Christine out of the church, and the photographer tells us to wait there for pictures. I wait for Sarah to come out and can’t stop myself from going to her. I hold out my hand to her and relax when she takes it.
My fingers brush back and forth across her skin. “You look beautiful, Sarah.”
“Thank you. You look,” she gulps, “nice too.”
As though she finally realizes she’s in my grasp, she starts to pull away. I look down at her and shake my head. I don’t want to let her go. When one of the bridesmaids comes to collect her to go back inside for some pictures, I pause before I can do it. I watch while their pictures are taken, and then there are some pictures of just the groomsmen. When they do group shots, I relax when she’s back in my arms. I don’t let go of her this time.
We’re on the church steps, and I notice her looking around. After a moment, she looks up at me. “I’m supposed to ride with my parents.”
I chew on the inside of my lip. This is probably going to piss her off. “I already talked to them. You’re riding with me.”
“What?”
She heard me. I shrug. “I need to talk, and you need to listen. Pretty sure you won’t jump out of a moving car.”
She rolls her eyes. “My clutch?”
I keep her arm in mine and walk her back to the room where the girls left their stuff before the ceremony. Once she has it, we walk back out to my car. I open her door for her and close it once she’s in. I slowly walk around to my side, and part of me wonders if I’m ready for whatever she’s about to tell me.
I don’t say anything until I’m on the road. “Sarah, what did Jessica have to do with you leaving?”
Her arms are folded across her chest. “I thought you were going to talk and I was supposed to listen.”
I’m sick of her fighting this. “Please answer me.”
“What? You’re so surprised I found out?”
I look at her, pissed. “Alright, let me just say this one time. I have no idea what you are talking about.”
She starts spinning her ring. “So are you trying to say Jessica didn’t go with you to Italy?”
I turn into the parking lot of the country club where the reception is being held. Shit. Wasn’t expecting that. “She did, but—”
She cuts me off as I park. “Don’t, just don’t.”
I watch in a daze, and she opens the door and books it across the parking lot. I shake my head before I go after her and watch as she dashes into the ladies’ room. I would have followed her if our old principal wasn’t standing in the lobby giving me a weird look. This has to be a new low. Sarah is hiding from me in a bathroom. I need a drink. I look at the door one last time before I head inside the ballroom. Maybe fifteen minutes later, I don’t see her, but I know she’s there. I have my arm slung across the back of her chair.
“Fall in?” She doesn’t answer so I keep going. “So I went over with Brian this morning to help pick your wedding gift. Pretty big coincidence out of everything they registered for, we picked the same thing.”
I tilt my head back and look up at her before pulling her chair out for her to sit. She flags down a server and orders a drink. She’s shutting me out, and I’m starting to wonder if it’s even worth it to try and figure out what’s going on in that head of hers. The DJ announces the arrival of the new Mr. and Mrs. Miller. We all stand and applaud, and we all sit when Justine goes to give her toast. Shit. Best Man. I need to make a toast. I stand when it’s my turn and stay where I am.
I look down at Sarah and take a deep breath before I start. “I work with Christine and have known Brian forever. He saw me having lunch with Christine one day and had to meet her. In our infinite wisdom, we came up with a plan to get them together. It was clear there was something there when Brian called me after their first date and could not stop talking about her. He told me he thought she was the one.
I remember telling him to tell her that, to make sure she knew everyday just how much he loved her and how she was the only one for him. Don’t make the mistake I did and let the one ge
t away. He took my advice and almost scared her away by coming on too strong. Moral of the story, given my romantic history, is they are clearly meant for each other, considering I got involved and they’re still together.”
I sit back down and know, no matter what, I have to do everything in my power to get Sarah back. She’s stubborn and a giant pain in the ass sometimes, but she’s the only girl I’ve ever loved and I’d be a dumbass if I stop trying. After the first few dances, Brian walks over and asks her to dance.
I give them a couple of minutes before I decide to cut in. I see her shake her head. but I think Brian’s on my side and has already put her hands in mine. This time, she doesn’t run away. I slide my hand around her waist and pull her to my chest. I love how she feels in my arms and pull her even tighter when she rests her head on my shoulder.
I don’t want to chase her anymore. Can’t she feel it? Doesn’t she get how what we have isn’t normal? You don’t just throw something like this away. She looks up at me, those beautiful chocolate eyes that hold my heart. When the song ends, we stand together as the next song starts before she tries to pull away. Is it because the song ended or is she trying to run away again?
I take her hand, and we walk off the dance floor together. Instead of taking us to our seats, I walk us out into the lobby. I don’t let go of her hand.
“Sarah, what did you mean when you said Jessica was the reason you left?”
“I leave the day after tomorrow, Will. What’s the point in even doing this?”
It feels like she slapped me. “What’s the point? Sarah, you broke my heart when you left, and you tell Brian I don’t get to hurt. I think I deserve to know what happened.”
She snorts. “I broke your heart?” She sinks into a chair behind us.
I pull another chair around and sit so I’m facing her. I put my hands on her knees, and she puts her hands on mine.
She looks up at me. “Remember how the bugs kept biting me so I sat in your car while you were exchanging insurance info with Claire?”
That night, the night of our graduation, we went to a party at Bravo’s. The plan was to spend the night. I finally worked up the nerve to ask her to come with me to school. She hadn’t said yes, but I could tell she was thinking about it. Sometime during the night, we both start at a loud knock on our door. Claire Warner had backed into my car. Sarah went out with me while I went to see how bad it was and exchange insurance information. Sarah went to sit in my car because bugs kept biting her. That was the last time I saw her.
She takes a deep breath, spinning her ring “Jessica got in on the driver’s side and told me about Italy, showed me a text you sent her.”
I start shaking my head. “She lied. I didn’t even know she was going until we got to the airport.”
She glares at me. “She showed me a text from your number that said how happy you were she was going. That you made a mistake breaking up with her.”
She tries to pull away from me, but I hold on to her. “Sarah, I never sent her a text, and I sure as shit did not regret breaking up with her. I didn’t know her family was going to Italy until I saw them at the gate. I swear.”
“Her family? She never said her family was going, and I saw the text and then she had me call the number from the text and you answered, and when I hung up, you called back.”
“Yes, her mom, dad, and little brother. I have no clue what to tell you about the text. I know I didn’t send it, and I don’t remember a call that night, but I was freaking out about what my parents were going to do when they saw my car. If someone, anyone, called I probably answered, and if they hung up, I probably called them back.”
We sit in silence looking at each other. I’m angry, thinking back to that night. When I couldn’t find her, I freaked. Bravo had taken my keys away since I had been drinking that night. He even had to talk me out of checking the lake when I started to wonder if she had fallen in. Only after someone said they saw her leave with some girls was he able to get me back inside the house.
“Was there anything else?” I ask, my head swimming.
She closes her eyes.
“Please, tell me what happened,” I plead.
“I need a drink, maybe two.”
“If I go get you a couple drinks will you still be here when I get back?”
She nods. For me it’s a test. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep chasing her. It hurts too much. If she’s gone when I come back with drinks, I’m leaving. I walk over to the bar and order four shots. Part of me expects her chair to be empty when I walk back into the hallway. Seeing her there, waiting for me, calms me. I pass her a shot glass. We lock eyes before throwing them back. She holds her hand out for the second, and I watch it drain into her mouth.
“Where did you go that night?” I ask, taking the glass and setting it with the others on a table behind my chair.
“Christie Howell and some other girl were leaving. I had my purse and got a ride home with them.”
I drop my head into my hands. “I was losing my mind when I couldn’t find you. I thought maybe someone had taken you or you had fallen into the lake or I don’t know.”
“I didn’t think. I just had to get out of there.”
“Why didn’t you say something to me. I would have proved to you it wasn’t true, whatever she said.”
“I just never could believe you would want someone like me more than someone like her,” she says, looking away.
How didn’t she know, after everything we went through? My world began and ended with her. I can’t understand how she could ever doubt the way I felt about her.
“Will?”
“I thought you knew how much I loved you.” My throat feels thick. “How could you not know?”
“I didn’t—I couldn’t. You were the most popular guy in school. Every girl loved you. I still don’t—”
“Stop.” I hold up my hand. “Don’t even go there. I didn’t care about all of the stupid high school shit, and you knew that. You knew me. When I couldn’t find you, I’ve never been more scared in my whole life. I must have called your phone a hundred times before I figured out it was in my car. I finally called Brian, and he told me you came home crying.
I almost drove over right then, but he told me to let you sleep and that we could talk in the morning. Bravo took my keys and wouldn’t let me drive anywhere until the next morning because I was so freaked out. And then when I got to your house, you were gone.” It hit me all over again, that day, not knowing where she was.
The ballroom door opens, filling the hallway with music. Her Uncle Chip comes walking out of the ballroom and over to us “You kids okay?”
I just look down.
“Are you sure?”
“We’re just talking.” She pauses. “It’s okay.”
Chip heads back into the ballroom, the hall filling once again with music until the door shuts.
She watches the door to the ballroom close. When her face turns back, our eyes lock.
“Seven years, Sarah. Did we really lose seven years because of a text?” I ask, stunned.
She shakes her head.
“Then why?”
The hall fills with music again when someone walks into the hall off in search of a restroom, most likely. She looks at me “Can we talk outside?”
I nod and stand, still holding her hand. We make our way to the front entrance, then follow a stone path along the left side of the building to a covered patio. There are ceiling fans slowly creating a slight breeze and black wrought iron tables and chairs. It’s June. In Atlanta, the shade is welcome, but it’s still humid. I let go of her hand and take off my jacket, draping over the back of a chair before pulling one out for her.
She waves me off. “I need to walk around if that’s okay. You can sit, I just can’t right this second.”
I sit and watch her pace nervously back and forth in front of me. I snap. “Sarah, just tell me.”
“I felt stupid the next morning for leaving the way I did
. I wanted to call you but didn’t know where my phone was.” She starts spinning her ring. “I can’t believe I didn’t even think to ask Brian for it, but I ended up calling your home phone.”
I tilt my head at her, confused.
“I had to look up the number in the directory.” She pauses. “Your mom answered.”
This does not sound good.
“I asked for you, and she said you weren’t home. I told her I couldn’t find my phone and didn’t know your number by heart.”
The heels of her shoes click as she moves back and forth. She tried to call me. I never knew.
She glances over at me, still messing with her ring. “I asked her for your number or to let you know I called.”
“She didn’t tell me,” I rasp.
She nods. “She said she wouldn’t.”
“Why?”
She looks down, slipping one of her feet out of her shoe and flexing her toes before slipping it back on and pacing again. “She told me I wasn’t good enough for you. Then she told me Jessica was going with you to Italy.”
“I told you I didn’t know she was going,” I argue.
“I believe you. It’s just when I tried to argue with your mom, she said they wouldn’t pay for your college if you were with me.”
“Sarah, they didn’t pay for my school at all.”
Her mouth drops. “What?”
I rub my jaw. “My grandparents set up a trust when I was little. It paid for all of it and the apartment I planned to live in with my girlfriend.” I say that last bit out of anger. God I thought she trusted me. I can’t believe we wasted the last seven years because of stuff a simple conversation could have fixed.
“I didn’t know.”
I still can’t figure out why my mom would do that. “She wouldn’t. She—” I don’t even realize I’m talking out loud until Sarah cuts me off.
She glares at me. “You believe whatever you want, Will. You asked why I left, and I told you.”
She turns to go back inside. Not this time. I stand and grab her arm. She turns back to look at me, and I do exactly what I’ve waited all week to do.
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