by Chris Myers
“It’s hard for me to forgive him.”
“I understand.” She hesitates. “I overheard your dad talking to your mom. He wants custody of Currie.”
My heart sinks to my feet. “He does?”
“He can’t take her away from you, can he?”
“My lawyer says I have a strong case, but he’s her dad.”
“Has he done anything about it?”
“Not yet. He’s told Currie that he wants to discuss something with me.” Maybe that’s it.
“You should talk to him then.”
I know deep in my heart she’s right. But what if he screws up, and Currie gets hurt?
Jinx stands on her toes and cranes her neck up at me. I recognize this move. I bend down and give her the kiss I’ve been dying to give her. She relaxes in my arms until the elevator stops.
Doctor Yeager is standing in Currie’s room when we get there. “I’ve taken her off the drugs. Currie should wake up within the next six hours. I’ll check on her in a few hours. The nurse is right down the hall if she needs anything.”
I touch Currie’s dark hair. “Is the virus gone?”
“Her immune system is fighting the virus now. We’ll continue treatment with antivirals to ensure she’s virus free after she wakes.”
“How long will she be here?” I ask. “Currie will want to make up school.”
“Let’s see how she does once she’s awake. If her progress is good, we’ll discuss moving her treatment to the hospital in Naperville.”
“That would be good.” Currie will be upset if I don’t graduate.
Mom sits beside Currie. Jinx curls into a chair and pulls out her books. I join her. It’ll keep me busy until Currie wakes. Jonathan and Denage go out for Chinese and bring back food for all of us.
Jinx and I both go for the spicy pork. Currie would have a cow if she knew I was eating pig. It’ll be back to greens and yogurt soon enough.
After two hours, Yeager checks on Currie. Her eyes flutter but don’t open. He takes her off the oxygen. “She’s breathing fine on her own. We don’t need this anymore.”
Another hour later, Betsy comes in, examines the monitors, and says, “Everything looks good.”
After I finish my schoolwork for the week, I say to Jinx, “Let’s go for a walk.” I’m craving her touch again, and I don’t really want to share that with Jonathan.
Jinx stands up and stretches. “That sounds good.”
When I take her hand, Jonathan smiles. God, I wish he wasn’t here. I scowl at him on my way out. This seems to hurt him. For the first time, it makes me feel shallow.
I take Jinx to the front, but when I see the paparazzi hanging out, I steer her to the side exit. We walk around to the back of the building.
“I can’t wait for Currie to wake up,” I say. “It’s taking long enough.”
Jinx rubs my arm. “This must be driving you crazy. It’s been five hours. You haven’t cried once. Don’t you ever cry?”
“When I was ten, Currie would have nightmares. She’d run into my room, scared. I couldn’t tell her I was afraid of the dark or lightning peeling through the sky. I had to be strong for her. No one else was going to be there for her.” That’s why I don’t cry.
“You never got to be a kid,” Jinx says. Her head rests against me.
My head leans down to kiss Jinx. From the way she’s holding onto me, she’s longing for the kiss as much as I am.
I open the door for her at a different side entrance to go back into the hospital. “Let’s stop by Terri’s room.”
On the fourth floor, Terri sits up in bed, watching a DVD, some romantic comedy, with her mom and probably her younger sister. When Terri sees me, she smiles and blushes.
“Can we come in?” I ask, knocking on the open door.
“Yeah, sure.” Terri straightens her hospital gown.
“How’s it going?” I ask, though I’m not sure I want to know. My hand holds onto Jinx’s. She squeezes mine back.
“Actually much better,” Terri’s mom says. “We’ve had a break.”
Terri’s grinning. “I want to tell him.”
Her mother pats her hand. “Okay, dear.”
“They tried this new experimental treatment on me last week. Kind of like what they did with Lance Armstrong, and I’m getting better. I’m actually getting better. I’m almost cancer free,” she squeals.
“If I keep improving, I’ll be home in time for the school dance.” Her cheeks burn, which brings out her real beauty.
“That’s great,” Jinx says.
“This is the best day of my life. A hot guy kisses me and now this.” Terri’s bubbling as much as a cheerleader after a touchdown.
We stay with her for a few minutes, mostly talking about music until I feel Currie pulling me away.
“We’ll stop by before we leave,” I say.
“Thanks,” Terri says. “For everything.”
Jinx and I both give her a hug before we leave. We go up two more floors to Currie’s room. In one way, I hope she hasn’t woken so that I’m not in trouble.
She hasn’t. I’m not liking this. The room is empty, no Mom, no Jonathan and his troop. Anger boils inside me for them leaving her alone.
Jinx rubs my shoulder. “I’ll be right back. Want some coffee?”
“That would be good.”
She leaves, her gaze lingering on me. Worry burrows into her brow. It’s nice to have someone show concern for me. All my life, I’ve been the worrier, always fretting over Currie’s skinned knees while no one other than the Nowaks ever cared about me. Someday, I want someone to be there for me.
I edge onto the bed next to Currie. “Please wake up,” I whisper. “Please don’t leave me alone.” My fingers twirl in her hair. I did that when she was an infant. Her hair was a mass of dark curls. She kept me going. Her deep smiles, her jabber, her hands tugging my hair. “I was so alone until you came. I can’t make it without you.”
Jinx returns with coffee. She hands me a couple creamers and sugar. I like mine black. I almost feel guilty as the black liquid scorches my tongue, like somehow Currie knows and is torturing me for drinking caffeine.
Jonathan, his gang, and Mom filter into the room. She chatters with Denage like they’re old friends. That won’t last if Jonathan stays with Denage. Mom wants him back, and she’ll do anything to steal him away. Denage seems completely unsuspecting.
Jinx touches my shoulder. “Are you okay?”
Those pretty eyes blink at me. “No.”
“I wish there was something I could do other than wait.” She hugs me close to her. Unlike me, she’s not afraid of PDA.
While she stands, I wrap my arms around her waist and bury my face in the warmth of her belly. She lets me. Her hand rubs my head and scratches it like a dog. It feels good. It’s nice of her to be here when she doesn’t have to be. “Thanks for staying with me.”
“No problem. I guess I’ll read. If I hate this waiting, you must really be going crazy.” Jinx curls up in the recliner with a book.
Yeager stops by. He examines my little girl. “Currie’s fine. She might take a while longer though.”
My jaw clenches. “There’s always a possibility she may never wake up.”
“That’s not likely,” Yeager says. He pats my back. “Be patient, son.”
I rest my chin on her bed. Jonathan remains silent. Mom lays her head next to Currie on the other side.
We sit in there until midnight. Currie isn’t going to wake up. I can feel it from the raging headache I’ve developed to the pins and needles in my toes from them falling asleep, no different from Currie.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
LENNON
I’ve nodded off a few times. Jinx sleeps in the reclining chair and snuffles in her sleep. I got her a blanket and pillow. Denage hasn’t left Jonathan’s side. Mom went back to the hotel, which irritates the hell out of me. This is her daughter for crying out loud. Sorry, that this is an inconvenience for her. God, she
pisses me off. Even the crack-head has managed to stick around for his child.
Clive called around one in the morning. He’s keeping Danny Boy and Susan in the loop. He even went to church last night with his mom to light a candle for Currie. His family sent a beautiful bouquet along with their prayers. His parents have been through this. Clive’s sister Cassie was thirteen when a kid joyriding jumped the curb and pinned her to a tree. He holds onto Zoe like she’s his little sister.
It’s four o’clock in the morning when I get up and pace the room. My mind races over the Indy 500 course of her treatment, skidding around the corners and barreling out of control. Dammit, why won’t she wake up?
How long will this go on? Does she just go on sleeping? It’s not like she’s on life support.
“You should get some sleep, son,” Jonathan says. His face strains with fatigue. “Why don’t you go back to the hotel? We’ll watch her.”
“Son?” I ask, throwing my hands in the air. “You’ve got to be joking. I’m lucky to be alive. You never once took care of me. I can remember eating Cocoa Puffs for days in a row because there was no food in the house. I have scars on my thighs from where hot coffee burned me and no one bothered to take me to the hospital, not to mention the ones on my ass.”
Jinx stirs. She stretches and yawns. I don’t mean to involve her, but I’m losing it.
“Lennon, I know I screwed up,” Jonathan says. “I can’t make that up to you. We can only move forward.”
I take two more paces. “Forward. I was done with you years ago. You stuck Mom with us, so that I have to babysit two children instead of one. You need to leave Currie and me alone and take Mom off our hands. She should be your problem, not mine.”
“I offered your mother a settlement. She’s just beginning to realize we’re not going to be together, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be a part of Currie’s life, even if you can’t forgive me. We’re hoping you’ll go to college and then Currie will come live with us.”
My head jerks up. “You can’t have her. That will never happen in a million years. I hired a lawyer the day you left and made sure that will never happen. You are out of your mind if you think that’s even a possibility.”
“Currie wants to live with us. She wants you to go to school in LA, so you’ll be close.” Jonathan’s voice is calm. It’s not like him. He’s also not hopped up on cocaine.
My tone is borderline hysterical. “She’s never once mentioned that to me. You won’t ever get her. My testimony of how the two of you behaved will blow any juror away. You can’t take her from me. Currie’s mine.”
Deange sits upright. “Lennon, you need to think about what’s best for Currie.”
“Shut up,” I yell. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. Do you have any idea how many women Jonathan has been through? You won’t last.”
“I do know,” Denage says, her voice unwavering.
I hate them both. “I’m what’s best for Currie. From the day she was born, I took care of her. When I was eight-years-old, Mrs. Nowak showed me how to feed and change Currie’s diapers. Did Jonathan tell you that neither one of them fed or changed her ever?”
“That’s not true.” Tears streak down Jonathan’s cheeks. “You did our jobs. I won’t deny that, but when you were exhausted, I would go in and care for Currie. What we did to you was terrible. You may hate me for the rest of my life, but I want another chance with Currie while she’s still young. I’ve done good these past few years with visits and phone calls. I already lost one child. I don’t want to lose two. She’s my baby. She’s my flesh and blood, too.”
That strikes a blow to my chest. He never wanted me, just Currie, the cute, adorable smart child. I want to run down the hall and forget about them all, but I can’t leave Currie, even though there’s no chance she’ll wake now.
“Currie’s all I’ve got,” I say. “You can’t take her away from me. I’m the one providing her with dance and violin lessons, paying for her private school.”
“I’m not trying to take her away.” Jonathan wipes his eyes with the back of his sleeve. “Currie needs us both. She doesn’t want you out of her life, but she does want you to have a life of your own. You’ve never had one. It’s my fault.”
I’m tired of yelling. My voice feels hoarse. Betsy has come by the room, giving us warning looks to keep quiet. Though Jinx pretends to sleep, we’ve probably woken up the entire hospital.
“This is a moot point anyway,” I say, resigning myself to my chair. “Just go home and get the hell out of our lives. I’ll never forgive you, Jonathan. I can’t.”
“I wish you could, but I understand.” Jonathan gets out of his chair, walks over, and pats my back like he should’ve done years ago, but it’s too late now. I shrug away his hand.
Mom stands by the door. I’m not sure how long she’s been standing there, but from her expression, I’m guessing a while.
“We can work this out, son,” he says.
“You were never a father to me,” I say, standing to meet Jonathan eye-to-eye. As I’m about to plow my fist into his drug-worn face, tiny sniffling sounds come from Currie.
“Would you stop?” a small voice croaks. “I can’t get any sleep.” She rolls over in the bed and pulls the pillow over her ears.
I rush to her side and pick her up, tubes and all. “Oh God, you came back to me.”
“You can’t get rid of me that easy.” A small smirk crosses her lips. Her eyes are half-open.
“Can you move your arms?” I ask.
She wiggles her fingers and toes. “They feel weak, but that was bound to happen since I haven’t used them in…”
“Six days.” I rock her back and forth like I did when she was little.
Betsy comes into the room. “We’re so glad you’re awake. You should put her down.”
Not going to happen. I practically crush her in my arms.
Currie wriggles underneath my grip and wags a finger at me. “Better listen. Have you been drinking coffee? I can smell it on your breath.”
Jinx bursts out laughing. “Yeah, Lennon. Have you been drinking coffee? Bad boy.”
I put Currie down. “Yes, I’ve been bad.”
Curries jabs me with her finger. “I’m out for a few days, and you go back to your evil habits. Shame on you.”
“Let’s try to get you up to walk,” Betsy says. “I’ll have to unhook you first.”
“Is that such a good idea?” Jonathan asks.
Betsy chuckles. “Don’t worry. I’ve been doing this for a few years. Your daughter is in good hands.”
“Would you guys leave?” Currie asks. “I don’t want you to see her unplugging my butt and whatever else is attached.”
Jinx snorts out a laugh, gets up, and leaves the room. I kiss Currie’s forehead. “Be right back. I love you.”
“I love you, too.” She makes a face. “Go brush your teeth. Get rid of that coffee grinder in your mouth.”
“Yes, Dear,” I say.
We walk out and stand in the hall. The weight of the Sears Tower has been lifted from my shoulders. Currie and I can move forward from this. God, I want a beer, a whole case.
I ignore Jonathan. The lawyer said I’d have no problem getting custody, but I worry. Jonathan’s been straight for three years now and Currie may want to live with him over me. I can’t lose her.
I catch up to Jinx, pick her up, and swing her around. “I love it when you call me bad.”
“Good because it’s easy to do.” She brushes her lips against mine before I put her down.
Jinx leads me to the cafeteria. “I could use some more coffee.”
“Currie’s awake. I have to drink herbal tea now.”
She laughs. “I’m still having coffee with sugar and cream.”
I pick her up again, otherwise, I’d have to stoop a mile to kiss her on the lips. “Once Currie’s back home, let’s talk.” I can tell Jinx brushed her teeth. She tastes minty.
“About?” she
asks.
I tap her nose. “It’s a secret.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
LENNON
Several days later, when I knock at the Nowaks, Brea answers the door. “Come in.” She takes the wine from me and shuts the door with her foot. “Hope you like pot roast.”
I love pot roast, but Currie doesn’t need to know that.
Brea nods at Currie. “Zoe’s in the living room.”
Yeager released Currie to the Naperville hospital within a few days. She doesn’t have any brain damage, so her therapy is minimal. Thanks to Jinx and Rena, I’m caught up with my schoolwork, so I can barely wait to tap into the wine I brought, kick back, and relax.
Being asleep and drugged up for almost a week has made it hard for Currie to concentrate on her schoolwork. I hired a tutor so that she’ll be caught up in a week or two. She hates being behind.
I walk into the kitchen to help out. The Nowaks have me trained. “What do I need to do?”
Mrs. Nowak opens the oven. “Would you?” She hands me potholders.
I slide the roast out and lay it on the counter. My mouth waters. “Smells good.” If it wasn’t for the Nowaks, I would have never figured out what normal is. I’d thought lines of cocaine laid out on a coffee table and empty whiskey bottles were part of a typical family home.
“Want to talk about it?” Mrs. Nowak asks, apprising me. She knows me all too well.
“The good news is Jonathan hasn’t served me yet for custody of Currie.” It would be easier for everyone if he just got run over by a Mack truck. I doubt that’s going to happen. I’m going to have to face him sooner than I’d like.
“Would he?” Mrs. Nowak asks.
I chew on my lip. “I don’t know. He told me he wants Currie to move to LA.”
“What does Currie want?”
“I think she wants to have a family like yours.” I know I do. I’d give my left nut to have been raised like Brea and Zoe.
“What about your mom?”
“I don’t know about her. She’s been talking to her agent. If she leaves, Currie will want Jonathan even more.”