by A. J. Ponder
That very afternoon you are brought to the WOS headquarters to receive a certificate that looks like a blank piece of paper, but that’s only until you wave a black light over it while standing underneath a full moon.
Honorary WOS agent and Defeater of the most Evil of Villains, the Bugman.
Now you’re an honorary member of the World of Spies, there are plenty of opportunities to help save the world again and again – and the added benefit of gaining access to heaps of spy gizmos like bullet-proof coats and umbrella swords. On one of the spy manuals there’s a button, with the words, For adventure in fabulous locations, like trains, the buses, airplanes and even your own bedroom, join the WOS mailing list now. Also, a great opportunity to watch out for handy underground bunkers and discounts on books.
Despite your wonderful life, sometimes you wonder what life would be like if you’d made different choices. Well, Frankie’s made a time machine, and she’s offering you a chance to brave the dangerous world of bugs again. You never know what might happen. You might ride a butterfly, fight off a cockroach, or track down the Bugman using ant poop and explosives.
Well, this is your chance. Frankie’s asking, would you like to:
Go back to the museum.
Or
Go to the Adventure Contents and choose any path.
Volunteer to help Kennedy find Ms. Xavier and Frankie
Some guy in painting overalls pushes a mop of dark hair off his face. He’s wearing a nametag with Richard Palmer printed on it. “I’m coming with,” he says in a Southern accent.
“I don’t think so,” Kennedy says. “Who are you anyway?”
“I was supposed to be one of today’s instructors,” he says, waving a piece of blank paper in Kennedy’s face. “Although it might have been because Chief X thought I needed a bit more fieldwork before completing my undergrad spy certification. And now look where we are. I’ve been thrown into the deep end on a dangerous mission – with nothing but recruits.”
“We’ll be fine.” Kennedy shakes her head, as if she knows she’s lying. “Just don’t think about it too hard.” She hurries you both back out into the corridor. “Where should we start?” Kennedy shines her black-light on the piece of paper he’s waving. A World of Stamp Collectors logo appears. It looks surprisingly similar to the World of Shoes sign that had been hanging on the door.
“This way,” you say. You start walking back to the bug exhibit.
“Good idea, we’ll track Ms. Xavier from where you last saw her.”
“Don’t forget we’re looking for someone small,” you say.
Richard pulls out a pair of glasses. “These might be useful,” he says. “Whatever happens, they’ll keep me in touch with old Stevey-boy.”
You hurry – not too fast – down the corridor, just in case Frankie’s machine really could shrink someone. You’ve heard the stories that not all Frankie’s machines work as advertised, and you don’t want to run into it, or the Bugman.
You reach the last bug room. But there’s still no one there – not even any bugs. That is, if you don’t count the giant models. Determined, you start searching the rest of the museum. In the African room, a toddler in an elephant onesie is crying about their lost balloon.
“We’ll help you find it,” Kennedy says.
“Yeah, right.” Richard smiles and nudges her. “Good excuse to look around.”
Kennedy keeps looking behind exhibits. “It’s not behind the stuffed rhino.”
Richard looks in the open jaws of a stuffed alligator. “It’s not in here either. Impressive teeth though, especially with my super-vision glasses.”
The toddler in the elephant suit wanders away, disappointed.
“Okay,” you say, stopping under a fake acacia tree. “We have to think. Where could she be hiding? We can’t look in every exhibit this place has.”
Something drops onto Kennedy’s shoulder. She screams. “Get it off, get it off. It might be a Bugman bug.”
It doesn’t look like a bug. It looks like a miniature person. “Wait!” you shout.
“Yes, wait!” Richard yells. “It’s Ms. X. She’s found us!”
You all put your ears as close to Ms. Xavier as you dare, without crushing her.
“Stop dilly-dallying,” she snaps. “We have to find that wretched girl, Frankie, before her invention gets us into even more trouble.”
“Wait, what about using that balloon stuck in the branches?” Richard asks.
You look up. Sure enough, there’s a red balloon above you, the string dangling over your heads. “Hey,” you say, but the toddler’s gone.
“Awesome,” Richard says. “You’re so little, Ms. Xavier. You could use the helium balloon like a hot air balloon.”
“Thank you for stating the obvious, Mr. Palmer,” says Ms. Xavier. “What did you think I was doing up the tree?”
You hook the balloon down. Together, you create a little basket out of bus timetables, advertising pamphlets and string. Kennedy pulls out her own dark glasses, takes a tiny black microphone from the bridge, and pins it to the edge of the basket. Then you carefully put Ms. X inside.
The toddler’s nowhere to be seen. Hopefully they won’t mind too much.
“Don’t worry, I’ll find Frankie,” Ms. Xavier says.
Kennedy and Richard wave and say “Good luck, Ms. X. Keep in touch.”
“Now, where are we going?” Kennedy asks.
Do you:
Suggest you keep looking for Frankie?
Or
Suggest you follow the trail of the class and the Bugman?
Race up to fight off the Ladybug with your laser pen
The laser pen flares.
And that’s it. It barely hurts the creature at all. Except for the nauseating smell of burnt hair, you wouldn’t know it had been hit. Maybe the shell is slightly black where you singed it, but there’s no other effect – except that the ladybug flies at you, mouth open, mandibles waving.
You feel the wind of the ladybug’s wings, before you’re grasped in its mandibles and sucked into its mouth.
In seconds, nothing is left except a shoe.
The real shame is that you were hardly a snack on the ladybug lunch menu and within moments all your friends will be dead, too. Still, the world of bugs is a dangerous one, which is what makes it so exciting. Next time when you head out on adventure you may like to die a hideous death, join the bad guys, or even save the world.
You might wonder, in those last seconds as the memories of your life flash before your eyes, what would have happened if you’d thrown the exploding chewing gum at the ladybug. Luckily, as the last dregs of your consciousness fade, you can make a choice between three options:
Go back in time and throw the exploding chewing gum.
Or
Go back to the beginning of the story.
Or
Go to the Adventure Contents and choose any path.
Suggest you should keep looking for Frankie
“Good idea,” says Kennedy. “When did someone last see her?”
“She was chasing after the tour guide, Jeremy Wilder,” you say. “She hasn’t been seen since he took her invention. Let’s go back there.”
“Awesome,” Richard says.
You make your way through the exhibits, back to the Museum Staff Only door that Frankie and the tour guide went through.
On the other side is a corridor leading to a bunch of office cubicles. Old books line the shelves and there are many old posters featuring bugs and animals of all kinds. It’s not a broom cupboard office, but it’s still a lot dingier than the flash glass offices you see on TV.
An old lady asks why you’re there. “You’re not staff,” she says.
“So sorry,” Kennedy says, backing into the corridor. “We must be lost.”
As you step backwards, you trip over something on the ground. A screwdriver. It skids across the floor. Frankie’s screwdriver? A little further away is a scrap of paper.
You
pick it up.
As soon as it’s in your hand you realize it’s not paper. Although it looks like paper, the texture is weird. It’s almost spongy. Some kind of smart paper? Electronic? The message on it reads, He’s going outside. There’s a blinking arrow beside the message.
Do you:
Run outside?
Or
Press the arrow?
Run outside
“Quick, let’s go,” you yell.
Kennedy and Richard follow you out the door, and stop. Outside, there’s a small grass courtyard dotted with statues, elephants, famous people … that kind of thing. You look around for a bit, and are about to go back inside when you hear scuttling behind you.
The Bugman is right there, giant ants by his side.
“Nice of you to join me,” he says. “Together, we can take over the world.”
Do you:
Decide to join him (ant jaws are pretty ferocious)?
Or
Refuse the Bugman’s offer?
Decide to join him (ant jaws are pretty ferocious)
You smile as non-threateningly as you can at the Bugman, looking furtively at Kennedy and Richard. “Where do I sign up?”
“This way,” the Bugman growls. He walks over to the statue of the elephant and lifts a trapdoor. “In you go,” he orders.
He ant-walks you (it’s like a perp walk, but with ants) and Kennedy and Richard to a small room at the end of the corridor, goes to his honeycomb-shaped drawers and pulls out a pile of paper. “How would you like life insurance?” he asks. “Double pay for extra time?”
Is he really offering you these things? “What?”
He cackles with laughter. “You fell for it. You think I’m going to pay you? That’s hilarious. Alright minions, you’re on kitchen duty for the first month. Anyone who doesn’t work hard will be thrown to the spiders. Or the antlion. Or, well there are just so many choices. Hop to it.”
He throws some sort of concoction into two of the ants’ mouths, and they push you all the way to the kitchens, where there are remarkably few knives and far too many enormous pots and dirty dishes.
There are a surprising number of humans willing to do the Bugman’s bidding, now that he is the ruler of the world.
Your only hope is that someday, someone will return Mr. Wilder’s bugs back to their proper size.
Now your adventure is over, there are many paths to explore, including becoming a world class spy, a famous entomologist, or dying horribly in the tender embrace of a praying mantis.
Would you like to:
Start back at the museum?
Or
Go to the Adventure Contents and choose any path?
Refuse the Bugman’s offer
The Bugman and his giant ants are blocking your way out of the courtyard. “My goodness, you are brave, aren’t you?” He laughs. “Good, you’ll be a snack for my ants.”
Kennedy and Richard gulp, but they don’t move. Nonchalantly, Kennedy pulls some chewing gum from her pocket. “Gum?” she says, holding up a packet of exploding gum to the Bugman.
“What? Oh, duck,” Richard yells.
The Bugman backs off, so Kennedy throws a strip of gum at the two closest ants. One bounces off, but the other sticks. Then both strips explode with a kkkrrrumph that makes your ears ring.
Bits of one ant rain down.
The other ant’s only slightly injured. It veers away from the smoking patch of dirt and rubble that used to be courtyard. You jump back, but you don’t need to worry because three of its fellow ants jump on it and start eating.
You, Kennedy, and Richard all run, but there’s nowhere to go – the path is still blocked and the museum door can only be opened from the inside.
The Bugman laughs. “Mwah ha ha, you WOS trainees are pathetic.”
WOS trainees?
All seems lost. But you stand by your companions. “Any ideas?” you ask.
Kennedy shakes her head. “It was a privilege to have known you. You would have made a great WOS operative. You know, World of Spies.” She says it like it’s the highest compliment she could ever give.
The ants are about to attack, when the ground opens up from under an elephant statue. A secret door? Under the elephant statue? Yes, really. You hadn’t noticed, given there were other things to worry about – like staying alive.
Steve, Murray and Megan climb out with Frankie in tow. “You don’t look like you’re doing so well.”
“Who said you could escape my secret lair?” the Bugman says. He points Frankie’s machine at a bee flying over a dandelion. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter. My amazing insects will take over the whole world, anyway. Did you really think you meddling kids could get in my way?”
The museum door opens and Ms. Xavier appears. She’s being towed on her balloon by two people wearing World of Safari shirts. The toddler in the elephant onesie is clutching the woman’s shirt.
“You’re even more pathetic than WOS agents,” the Bugman says, preparing to point Frankie’s transmogrifier at an anthill.
Seeing the danger, you dive at the Bugman, ignoring the enormous bee flying overhead.
The transmogrifier beam flashes.
Something screeches. It’s a giant bird. “Hey, Ms. Xavier, you’re back,” Richard yells. Then he starts screaming – snapped up by the giant bird.
You have to focus. You have to get the machine off the Bugman. He’s remarkably strong, but Kennedy joins in and, between you, you manage to wrestle the machine off the Bugman. Quickly, you reverse the bird to normal size, and then start looking for other things to reverse, like the giant bee.
One of the WOS agents has been so traumatized that, even now that the bee’s normal size, they’re shrieking with fear. Frankie sighs. She carefully aims her remote and the bee transforms into a mouse.
Ms. Xavier turns to you. “Congratulations, you have saved the world from the Bugman and his giant bugs.” She invites you to the WOS headquarters where they shower you with praise. There’s even a special certificate that looks like a piece of paper. When you wave a black light over it while underneath a full moon, it says, Hero of WOS and Honorary Member.
There’s a big long boring speech, of course, but it’s worth it. The best bit is being able to play with heaps of spy gizmos like laser pens and forget-me gum. (Always useful when you’ve forgotten to do the dishes, or haven’t handed your homework in on time.) There’s even a special WOS mailing list you can join, if you sign up here. It’s a great idea because everyone needs adventure, and there are so many real life events to escape like being bored on the train, the bus, an airplane and even Ms. Xavier’s next long boring lecture on integral calculus and real life applications.
Also, as an honorary member of the World of Spies, you have plenty of opportunities to help save the world again and again.
For more adventure, click on a link to:
Go back to the museum.
Or
Go to the Adventure Contents and choose any path.
Press the arrow
Another message comes up on Frankie’s electronic paper. Elephant statue, left foot 23144 when 1 is from the front.
Kennedy, Richard and you crowd around puzzling over it.
“Great,” Kennedy says. “Total gibberish.”
“Well, we might as well go outside and look,” Richard says. “Maybe there are statues out there.”
You all agree, and traipse outside into the sunshine and onto a small lawn surrounded by statues. There’s an elephant statue right in front of you. That’s got to be more than just coincidence. “It must be a code,” you say, examining Frankie’s message paper again.
Elephant statue left foot 23144 when 1 is from the front.
“Awesome,” says Richard. “Makes perfect sense now. Something to do with the toes on the elephant’s left foot.”
“Wait a minute,” you say. “Our left, or the elephant’s left?”
Kennedy walks around the statue. “Look, the far toe has more
damage.”
“I’ll bet that’s the four,” Richard says, but you guessed that already. Quickly, you press the toes in order. Two, three, one, four, four. A hidden hatch opens with barely a creak.
It’s so quiet in the courtyard, you can hear the muted thunk of someone pushing down the security bar on the other side of the museum door.
“Quick,” you whisper. The door is opening.
You all tumble through the hatch as fast as you can, slamming it behind you. Together, you run down the stairs and through the corridor, following Kennedy. Before you get far, you hear the sound of cursing from outside the hatch. “Blistering bugs! I always forget the code.”
The bunker corridor is dimly lit with thin streaks of light sneaking out from under a few closed doors. Even so, Kennedy is wearing dark glasses. Really dark glasses. It seems weird that she’s not running into walls, but she leads you confidently through the bunker and into an office with weird honeycomb-shaped drawers, and a bookcase full of spray cans.
“Ah, I think this is it!” Kennedy says as she opens the door into a large room lined with giant TV screens and strange machines with hundreds of buttons and switches. My Evil Plan is written in large friendly letters on the top of a whiteboard. Stuck to the whiteboard are clearly Photoshopped images of militarized insects taking over; brightly colored peacock spiders are ushering in airplanes like they’re air traffic control Marshalls (there’s even a label that helpfully says peacock spiders), bees are swarming over City Hall, ants are parading down a main street where cars drive right through ants and vine-covered trees without crashing, and termites are creating a giant underground nest where the police department is. Nobody is running away in fear. People are still coming and going like it’s a normal day. Finally, you notice the little letters at the bottom of the screens. Simulation.
“Why is it supervillains always skimp on post-production software?” Richard says.
“Come on,” Kennedy says. “We don’t have time. We have to stop this from happening. But how?”