Radiant Desire (A Handmaids Seduction, #1)

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Radiant Desire (A Handmaids Seduction, #1) Page 26

by Inara Scott


  “Tell me about her,” she said. “Tell me about this person you love. Because no matter how hopeless you feel right now, it’s never too late.”

  The words spilled out of him in a thick, relentless flood. He told her about the day they met, and how she disappeared only to reappear at Rachel’s house looking completely different. He described how they’d fallen in love, and the way she’d told him, that night at his apartment, that he was surrounded by love.

  It felt so good to talk about her that he kept going, and his mother kept listening. She made him another cup of coffee, handed him a tissue when he needed to blow his nose. Her eyes told him what he needed to hear. That someone understood what he’d done. That it wasn’t too late.

  That he might, someday, be forgiven.

  His phone rang at 8:22. He answered it when he saw the call was from Max.

  “We’ve looked everywhere, Garrett.” Max’s voice broke, and he paused. When he began again, it sounded as though he was crying. “We can’t find her.”

  Garrett’s heart stopped. “Slow down, Max. Who?”

  “Lexi. We can’t find Lexi.”

  §

  By the time they arrived at the Manor, the sun was setting, and a rosy glow backlit the old palms and bougainvilleas. Victoria winced when Garrett punched the security code and the gate retracted to allow them to pass through.

  “When’s the last time you were here?” he asked.

  “When I brought you and Max.”

  He nodded and pulled forward. There was a small crowd in the foyer. Max was pacing back and forth, running his hands through his hair and looking at his phone as if he was trying to decide who to call next. He was a smaller, leaner version of Garrett, with the same sandy blond hair and blue eyes, but narrower shoulders and face.

  “Thank God you’re here,” he said with relief as Garrett came through the door.

  Bianca, Lexi’s mother, stood nearby. She wore a low-cut, form-fitting, polka-dot dress that revealed every inch of her toned and tanned frame. It was entirely inappropriate both for her age and for a family dinner, but that was par for the course with Bianca. She had one hand on her waist and the other extended out to the side, where it bobbed slightly as if she was in desperate need of a cigarette. Which she probably was.

  Portia stood behind them, her hands crossed over her chest. “I told them not to let her go after dinner. I told them,” she announced grimly to Garrett.

  “Who’s that?” Bianca asked, pointing a red-tipped fingernail toward Victoria, who was hovering just outside the door on the front porch.

  Garrett turned around and dragged her inside. “Max,” he said, “this is Victoria.”

  Max froze. “Wait, what? Victoria? You mean, our mother?”

  Victoria held herself even more stiffly than before and nodded.

  “Dear God, Victoria,” Portia drawled. “I wondered when the cat would drag you in.”

  “I was worried about my granddaughter,” Victoria said.

  Max stared at her, seemingly unable to move, or even blink.

  “I happened to be at her place when you called. I thought I should bring her. Lexi is her grandchild, after all.” Garrett grabbed Max’s shoulder. “Now, tell me exactly how long she’s been gone and what happened before she left.”

  Max kept turning to look at Victoria, and then back at Garrett. “I… um… well… it was almost an hour ago. She had dinner with us and asked if she could go play afterward. I thought she was going to the stable to see Sugar but she isn’t there. We’ve looked all over the house and in the usual spots and can’t find her anywhere.”

  “Let’s slow down,” Garrett said. “What exactly did she say? Did she tell you where she was going?”

  “She said she was going to find the ring,” Max said, pushing his hair back from his forehead. “I figured she meant the ring where she rides Sugar.”

  Garrett stared at him, something nagging at the corner of his mind. “The ring? She said she was going to find the ring?”

  Max darted another look at Victoria, who was standing still as a statue in the chilly, air-conditioned hall. “I think so. It’s hard to remember, exactly. I wasn’t paying very close attention to her. None of us were.”

  Garrett could believe that. Family dinners with Bianca and Portia were so painful, one tried to pay as little attention as possible. “What else did she say? Before that, maybe. Think back.”

  “She said she wanted to look for Kaia,” Bianca said, bobbing her hand with irritation. “I really don’t see why that matters. We should call the police. She could be out there by the pond with those damn alligators.” She shuddered. “I hate this place.”

  Garrett’s eyes widened, ignoring Bianca’s usual refrain about the Manor. “Kaia? What did she say about Kaia?”

  Portia practically snarled at him. “She said she missed Kaia and wanted to find her. I told her that she was being ridiculous. Kaia’s gone and we’ll never see her again.”

  “She’s not gone,” Garrett said, the words strengthening him even as he spoke. “And we aren’t giving up on her.”

  Portia’s nostrils flared. “Don’t be ridiculous. You’re done with her.”

  “He loves her,” Victoria said. She drew herself up and directed her words at Portia. “He’s not going to do what I did. He’s not going to give up because he made a mistake.”

  “A mistake?” Max said.

  “I should have fought harder,” Victoria said. “I should have come back for you.” Her hands twitched at her side, as if she were holding back from reaching out to him. “I’ve missed you, Maxie. I’ve missed you more than you can imagine.”

  Max flinched and drew back at the sound of his name. Garrett heard that sound echo in his mind. Maxie. She’d said that when she kissed them good-bye. I love you, my little Maxie.

  There was silence in the hall. Portia turned away in disgust. Garrett never knew who took the first step, but minutes later they were hugging, Victoria and Max, mother and son, and there were tears and forgiveness mixed in one messy embrace.

  As he watched, it hit him. That day at the Manor, when Kaia was babysitting Lexi, she’d talked about faeries, and Zafira, their queen. He knew the name was familiar, but he couldn’t put his finger on where he’d heard it before. Now it all came back.

  Lexi thought Kaia was a faerie. She’d told him over and over since the wedding.

  Where else would she look for a faerie but in a faerie ring?

  They took flashlights and headed for the south end of the property. Portia led the way, leaning heavily on her cane as she followed the muddy path that twisted around the edge of the pond. She said the ring of mushrooms—she refused to call it a faerie ring—was hidden in a thick grove of saw palmettos and they’d never find it without her. Max and Victoria followed behind Garrett. Every few minutes Max glanced at the sky, as the last bit of sunlight faded from the horizon.

  They were quiet as they pushed their way through the thick grasses and palms, the fecund smell of warm mud and rotting vegetation rising up from the swampy ground. Max’s face was gray, his lips locked in a permanent grimace.

  “We’ll find her,” Garrett said.

  Max didn’t respond.

  They called her name as they crept along the path but heard nothing in return. Finally, as twilight settled over them and the sound of the nighttime insects grew loud, Portia stopped, pointing ahead of her with her cane.

  “There. There it is.” He could barely hear her, Portia’s usual biting tones sounding weak and tired.

  Garrett squatted, squinting to see through the thick screen of palm leaves. He saw a small circle of white-capped mushrooms, almost hidden beneath a layer of Spanish moss. He skirted around Portia, jerking the vegetation aside, his heart pounding. “Lexi?”

  Max barreled into him, also yelling Lexi’s name. He cried out with relief when they saw her there, huddled in a little ball at the edge of the ring, her piquant face dirty as she sobbed into her knees.

 
Max fell to the ground beside her, catching her in a deep embrace. “Lexi, Lexi, what are you doing?” he cried, running his hands over her hair. “You know better than to come all the way out here by yourself.”

  “I wanted to find Kaia,” she said between sobs, “but I was too scared.”

  Garrett crouched next to them. “What do you mean? Why were you scared?”

  Relief flooded him at the sight of her. He hadn’t really believed Lexi was lost—it had all happened too quickly and there were so many places for a child to hide at the Manor.

  That didn’t mean he wasn’t lightheaded with relief at the sight of her.

  “She told me if you go in the ring you can get to the faerie land. She said it was dangerous there, and Queen Zafira doesn’t like humans very much, and if you go to Faeria she might never let you go.”

  Garrett could hardly believe the words that came out of his mouth. “She said you can go to Faeria through the faerie ring?”

  Max frowned at him before turning back to his daughter. “Lexi, hon, there’s no such thing as faerie land. You know that, don’t you?”

  Lexi shook her head vigorously. “I saw them,” she said firmly. Her bottom lip jutted out as she pointed to the ring and she started to cry again. “I saw Kaia’s wings. And the other girls’, too. She’s a faerie. And I know she’s in Faeria with the other faeries and Queen Zafira. But I can’t get her because I’m too scared!”

  And with that, she started to sob again, and Max pressed her close to his chest.

  “Tell me again, Lexi, what her wings looked like?” Garrett asked, feeling oddly light-headed.

  “They were like a butterfly, but made out of rainbows,” Lexie said.

  “What did she look like?” Garrett asked. “When she turned into a faerie, I mean?”

  Lexi squeezed her eyes shut, as if she were concentrating hard. “She looked like Kaia, only prettier.” She opened her eyes. “I don’t mean Kaia wasn’t beautiful, but faerie Kaia was even prettier.”

  Garrett’s vision blurred. He pictured the woman he’d seen that night in the Avalon and felt that strange, almost magical pull she’d had over him.

  “Garrett, stop this immediately,” Portia ordered. “You’re only upsetting her.”

  “Lexi, you must never do something like this again,” Max said, shaking a stern finger at his daughter. “It’s dangerous. We were all worried about you.”

  “I miss her,” Lexi said, her face streaked with dirt and tears. “I want to help find her.”

  “I miss her, too,” Garrett said. “But she wouldn’t want you to do this, Lexi. She would want you to be safe.”

  Lexi looked up at him. “I don’t understand why she left. Didn’t she love us?”

  Garrett stopped short, his throat catching. “She did,” he said. “Sometimes things happen and people have to leave. That doesn’t mean they don’t love you.”

  “Do you love her?” Lexi asked.

  He swallowed hard. “I do. I have for a long time.”

  Max hitched Lexi up higher and got unsteadily up on his feet, still holding her in his arms. “I think we better get back before your mother worries too much.”

  Lexi set her head on Max’s shoulder. “Okay, Daddy.” She gave Garrett one last mournful look. “I’m sorry I couldn’t find Kaia for you, Uncle Garrett.”

  He leaned forward and pressed a kiss on her forehead. “That’s my job, sweetheart. And if you ever come back here by yourself without a grownup, I’m never taking you for ice cream again. Got it?”

  Lexi smiled and snuggled deeper into her father’s chest. “Got it.”

  Max and Lexi wandered down the path back toward the Manor. Garrett stood and stared at the ring, his hands clasped behind his back. He took a step forward. It was crazy to even think… but what if?

  “She sounds like an incredible woman,” Victoria said. “She must have been to earn the love of my son.”

  There was her inexplicable history—or lack thereof. No life skills, no job, no education, despite the fact that she was clearly smart, articulate, and well-read. She didn’t even know how to drive. Her driver’s license was fake.

  “Garrett, I don’t think you should go in there. I’ve heard those things are bad luck,” Victoria said with a worried laugh. “I’ve just found my son again for the first time in twenty-six years. I’m not going to have him jumping into some damn faerie world.”

  He didn’t believe it for a second. No one could believe such a thing. Still, what harm would it do? If it wasn’t true, he’d just look like an idiot.

  He took another step forward.

  “Garrett, stop!” Portia’s voice came from behind them, sharp and autocratic, with just a hint of panic. “You don’t know what you’re doing.”

  Victoria grabbed his hand. “If you’re going in there, I’m going, too.”

  He took the final step over the edge of the mushrooms and started to fall.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  He had the sensation of tumbling down a long, dark tunnel, with no wind to ruffle his clothes or muss his hair. There was simply weightlessness, stillness all around, and the feeling that he had left his stomach about fifteen stories behind.

  He closed his eyes, and when he opened them he saw a bright light and a floor rushing up to meet him. He vaguely sensed Victoria’s hand tucked securely into his, but he could not see her or hear her.

  They hit the ground with a decisive thump and stumbled backward, losing their balance and falling in a tangled heap. As Garrett’s eyes adjusted to the light, he slowly came to his feet and offered Victoria his hand so she could do the same.

  He was dreaming. He had to be dreaming. Somehow, he had hit his head when he stepped into the faerie ring and was unconscious. Or perhaps delusional. Was this what it felt like to have a nervous breakdown?

  “Garrett?” Victoria squeezed his hand as she rose, her gaze fixed behind his back. “What are tho—?”

  She choked off, and Garrett spun around. They were in a hallway of some kind, a long corridor with a gleaming marble floor and tall mullioned windows that looked out on a sky that seemed made of fog or clouds, with light shining behind. There were no signs of trees or vegetation. The hallway had to span at least a quarter mile, and at the far end, there were some sort of dark shapes.

  Dark shapes that were coming in their direction.

  Quickly.

  Garrett pushed Victoria behind him but before he could react they were on them—two gigantic beasts, at least chest-height. They reminded him of dogs, but were taller in the shoulders than the hindquarters, like hyenas, with thick black hair and glowing red eyes. They stopped a few paces in front of them, head down, teeth bared in a deep growl.

  “Stand off,” a voice yelled. The dogs paused, and slowly backed a few paces away. A woman in a simple white shift ran toward them. As she came closer her features came into startling clarity, her eyes alight with confusion. “Garrett? Garrett? How did you… ?”

  Kaia snapped her fingers and the dogs parted in front of her. She was pale, with dark circles under her eyes. She looked too thin again, the way she had when they’d had dinner at Rachel’s house. He hadn’t realized how much healthier she’d gotten since then, but now she was gaunt, skin stretched tightly over her cheekbones, collarbones protruding below her neck.

  “You can’t be here,” she moaned. “Oh, tell me you aren’t really here!”

  “Kaia?” He sighed with relief and walked toward her. Now he knew he was insane. His unconscious mind had clearly tied together his worry about Lexi, all her talk of faeries, and his desperate need to see Kaia one more time.

  “You don’t seem happy to see me,” he said. One of the dogs snarled and bared its teeth and he stopped. He wouldn’t have expected his unconscious to create huge black dogs to guard Kaia, but symbolically, they must have a purpose.

  A psychologist would have a field day with this dream.

  Kaia shook her head. “No, no, of course not. You have no idea how much t
rouble you’re in.”

  “I don’t see any wings,” he said. “I thought Lexi said she saw wings.”

  “I don’t have them anymore.” Almost reflexively, she checked behind her, as if they might have appeared while they were talking.

  He sensed this was not a good thing. “Why not?”

  She pushed back her hair with a trembling hand. “I was supposed to break your heart. I wasn’t supposed to let you break mine.”

  “So she took your wings?”

  Kaia gave him a sad smile. “Actually, Zafira was quite merciful. Because I’d made a good effort and followed the rules, instead of stripping me of my wings forever, she sentenced me to one hundred years in human form, as a servant in Faeria. If I meet the terms of my punishment, I can retake my faerie form after that.”

  “I see.” He stared at her for another moment. The humor he had briefly felt faded. This didn’t feel like a dream. Victoria’s panicked breathing, the hot breath of the black dogs, and the worried lines around Kaia’s eyes were too real. “No, scratch that. I don’t see. I don’t understand any of this, actually. What in the world just happened, Kaia? Is this real?”

  “I’m afraid so.”

  Garrett looked again at her faded dress and pale, drawn face. “I don’t believe it. This must be some kind of trick. Have I been drugged? Did someone knock me over the head when I wasn’t looking?”

  Kaia reached out to touch him. “I’m sorry. I wish I could take it all back and make it so you’d never met me.”

  “No.” He grabbed her hand like a lifeline and pulled her closer. It didn’t really matter what he couldn’t understand and couldn’t believe, because this was what he had been wanting and needing ever since she’d disappeared. Just to hold her one more time.

  He tugged her toward him and placed a deep, searching kiss on her lips. She was just the way he remembered—sweet and warm, her body fitting effortlessly with his. “You know what? I don’t care if it is a dream. I don’t care if I’m talking to my own imagination or I’m actually in a padded room somewhere. I love you, Kaia. I have been waiting weeks to tell you that. I love you and I’m sorry.” He smiled and traced the line of her brow. “You see? I did learn what it means to be human.”

 

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