“I’m nervous too,” he said slightly amusedly, causing me to laugh.
“Listen, the other day, at your apartment”—my eyes shot up to his immediately—“what I was about to say before Alex and his ability to spoil any moment walked in”—Blake rolled his eyes—“was if maybe I could take you out to dinner sometime … maybe?”
“Yes, maybe you could.” I smiled.
“I could?”
“Maybe.” I nodded with a smile.
“Okay then.” Blake nodded. “Maybe I will.” His mouth curled up into the most gorgeous smile I had ever seen grace his face. I felt my body begin to relax.
“You’ve stopped shaking,” Blake observed as he began moving his fingers up the length of my arm.
“Maybe I’m not so nervous anymore,” I said, feeling my body tingle from just the slightest touch of his fingers.
We stood for a long moment just watching each other, visibly trying to read each other’s minds. The more I watched him, the more beautiful he seemed to become.
“Ah, Blake, there you are.” An elderly gentleman whom I hadn’t seen before was approaching us, pulling us both swiftly from the moment we were sharing. Blake’s hand moved from my arm as he stood straight. “Now, this man here is officially the oldest man in New York,” Blake whispered, causing me to laugh. “Franklin, it’s good to see you.” Blake nodded as he greeted him.
“Blake, my boy, it’s good to see you too,” the man said, sounding every bit like one of the Mafiosos from the Godfather films. “There is someone here who I insist you meet; come with me.” He beckoned.
“Sure, Franklin, I’ll be right there.” Blake smiled before turning back to me.
“So,” he said.
“So,” I replied.
“I’ll call you.”
“I look forward to it,” I replied honestly.
My heart began to race even quicker as Blake turned on his heel and followed Franklin across the ballroom, I had convinced myself that maybe I had imagined Blake’s feelings for me, but the way he had looked at me, the way he had spoken, the way he had gently stroked my arm – it all confirmed that something was going to happen between us. And for the first time in four years, I could not wait.
I quickly pulled myself together, grabbed another glass of champagne from a passing waiter, and headed off to where I could see Casey chatting happily with a group of people.
One of the people Casey was chatting to was Sara McDonnell; Sara had starred alongside Blake and me in the film. She was stunning; her long red hair fell in waves almost to the bottom of her back, and she was tall and very slim. I felt quite intimidated by her and hadn’t really bonded with her while we were either on set or off; there was something about her that I didn’t trust. She had never done anything to offend me, but something about her made it hard for me to connect to her.
“Hey, Jo!” Casey said a bit too enthusiastically, “Sara is trying out for that same part as you are next week for that new series on USA network!”
I found myself forcing a smile. “Oh, good luck.”
“It’s no biggie.” She shrugged. “I do know the casting director, however, but he’s strictly professional, so you shouldn’t have anything to worry about.” She winked, and I could sense the sarcasm. Yes, I actually did dislike this woman.
“So, I saw you and Blake,” she said, eyeing me carefully. “I didn’t realize there was anything between the two of you.”
“There isn’t” was all I said before I felt my phone vibrating in my clutch bag. Refusing to give anything more to Sara, I grabbed my phone, noticing it was my mum calling.
Panic set in. London was five hours ahead of New York, meaning that my mum was calling me at 2.00 a.m.
“I need to take this,” I said quickly as I hurried out of the ballroom into the lobby.
“Mum?” I answered quickly.
“Josephine, oh Josephine.” She was sobbing; my mum never cried or showed any emotion. Unlike me, my mum was made of steel, inside and out. Being a national treasure on British TV had done that to her. Years of bad reviews and press had made my mum invincible to any form of emotion.
“Mum, what is it? Are you okay? Is it Dad?” I felt my throat starting to constrict as if someone had cut off my air supply.
“Your father has had a heart attack,” she sobbed. “Josephine. They … they don’t …” She continued to sob.
“They don’t think he is going to be okay, do they?” I said quietly as Mum continued to sob uncontrollably.
2
My stomach sank and my hands became clammy and shaky, my dad had had a heart attack, and they didn’t know whether he was going to survive. I needed to get there. I needed to be with him as soon as I could. The only problem was the huge sea of water that separated us. Seven hours, it’s just seven hours, I kept repeating in my head to myself. I can be there not much longer than that; it’s just seven hours.
“Can you come home?” my mum asked gently.
“Yes. God, Mum, of course. I’m going to book a flight, and I will be there with you as soon as I can, I promise. Just do something for me, will you, Mum?” I scrunched my eyes tightly shut; trying to relieve some of the pain I was now feeling. “Give Dad a big kiss from me, and you tell him I’m coming and tell him” – I sucked in a deep breath as my voice started to shake – “please tell him I love him to the moon and back.” My voice cracked towards the end, and I closed my eyes momentarily while I tried to process everything that had happened in the past few minutes.
“I love you, Josephine.”
I love you too, Mum.”
I let my hand slip down to my side. Suddenly it felt as though the whole room was closing in on me. I needed to go; I needed to pack a bag and get on a plane.
I rushed back into the room, my eyes frantically scanning every inch. I couldn’t see Casey anywhere. My eyes finally found Sara. She was going to have to do; I couldn’t waste a single second more trying to find Casey.
Sara’s face dropped when she saw I was crying. “Jo, what is it? What’s wrong?”
“The call,” I said. “My dad, he’s …” Tears started rushing down my cheek as reality hit home, “He’s had a heart attack. I need to go; he needs me.”
Sara reached forward and placed her hand on my shoulder. “You go. I’ll make sure Casey knows; he will be okay, Jo.” Her expression was of genuine concern; maybe I’d misread her all along.
“Thank you,” I said quietly as I turned and rushed for the door, running straight into Cooper.
“Hey, where’s the fire!” His smile faded quickly when he noticed I was in a hurry. Cooper had been a good friend to me while filming. He had not only been another co-star, but he had also taken it upon himself to show me a few of New York’s best features. We had become good friends; he had been like the brother that I had never had. I felt grateful that now, in this moment, I had run into him.
“What’s happened?” he said as he took my hand. I explained quickly about my dad and how I needed to be there as quickly as possible. “Okay, let’s go,” he said, taking my hand.
“No, no, you should stay; I’ll be okay.”
“Look,” he said, “truth is, I don’t even like these events. Give me a club and a bunch of hot chicks any night of the week – but this?” He shook his head. “Not my scene. You’re a damsel in distress; I’m gonna be your knight in shining armour.” He smiled. “Now come, we need to get you on a plane.”
“Are you sure?” I sobbed.
“What are friends for?”
I threw my arms around his neck in gratitude. “Thank you so much, Cooper,” I said before placing a quick peck on his cheek.
We hurried quickly out of the hotel and to Cooper’s car. There were a couple of photographers hanging around, but Cooper got us to his car quickly enough that I think we missed any attention. I was thankful for the tinted windows as I climbed into Cooper’s Porsche 911.
“Let’s show you how appropriately fast this car can be.” Cooper win
ked at me before pulling swiftly out of the spot and speeding off through the busy streets of New York.
We sat in silence on the short ride to the apartment. My mind wandered to Blake. I wished I had seen him before I left, but I needed to get out of there as soon as possible. Maybe he would call once he knew about Dad; I hoped so, anyway.
“How are you doing over there?” Cooper said, breaking the silence.
I sighed. “I just wish I wasn’t so far away; he needs me, and I’m so far away.”
Cooper squeezed my knee gently. “You will be there by morning; he’s not gonna go anywhere, Jo, I promise.”
I wanted to believe him, I really did, but no one knew the truth; no one knew whether he would make it. I sat silently praying to God to protect him, to keep him safe for me, to get me to him before he could get any worse.
Cooper insisted on helping as much as he could. While I threw some random clothes into a small case, he called the airline and booked me a flight which was due to leave in three hours. As much as an extra three hours was going to be a traumatic wait, I would still be in London as soon as I could be. I was grateful for everything Cooper had done for me; I couldn’t have done it all alone. My mind was all over the place, and having someone there to help had taken a massive weight off my mind.
“Thank you for everything this evening, Cooper; you have no idea how much I appreciate it.” I lifted onto my toes and gave him a quick kiss on his cheek.
He smiled. “I’m just glad I was in the right place at the right time.”
“When I get back from London, I’m taking you out.”
“It’s a date.”
“It’s a thank you,” I confirmed.
“A thank-you date?” he teased. I shook my head and smiled for the first time since I had spoken to my mum.
“You have been such a good friend to me, Cooper; I’ll never forget that.”
“That’s what friends are for, Jo. Take care and call me if you need anything – a chat, a shoulder. I’m here, okay?”
“Thank you,” I said, placing a quick kiss on his cheek.
Picking up my bag, I turned and headed for the departure gate. This was going to be one hell of a long, worrisome flight with no communication from my mum until I landed, but I was also now even closer to being there with my parents, where I was needed and where I wanted to be.
I finally landed at London’s Heathrow airport at twelve thirty British time. I switched my phone on at the earliest convenience. There were no missed calls, just one text from my mum informing me that my dad’s twin brother, Uncle Anthony, would be there waiting when I came through arrivals.
As soon as I spotted him, my legs found the strength to hurry towards him. It was hard to make out his expression.
“Please tell me he’s okay,” I said as I threw myself into his arms.
He held me so tight against him. “No change, sweetheart,” he breathed into my hair.
“Is that a good thing?” I said between sobs.
“I’d like to think so,” he replied.
“Take me to him please.”
Uncle Anthony released me but kept hold of one of my hands while picking up my luggage in the other. “Let’s go,” he replied.
I was dreading the sight that was going to greet me. The last time I had seen my dad, he was so full of life. He was healthy and happy as he stood waving me off to start my new life. I remember seeing a single tear fall from his eyes as I walked away, but he continued to smile and wave at me and wish me good luck. He was so proud of me and everything that I had achieved, and now he was lying in a hospital bed, unaware of his surroundings and what lay ahead.
London was still the same; nothing had changed. It was a warm day, yet not so humid as the heat in New York. Thinking of New York reminded me of Blake; I wondered whether he knew yet that I had had to leave.
It felt like such a long drive to the hospital. Being a Saturday, the streets were swarmed with shoppers and tourists, and all I wanted was to get to my dad.
We pulled up at the hospital an hour later, and as I had suspected, there were reporters gathered near the entrance. “Fuck sake,” I muttered under my breath. Uncle Anthony shot me a surprised look. “Sorry,” I said, realizing I had just sworn for the first time in my life in front of him. “It’s just” – I gestured towards the greedy reporters – “they thrive on this. Look at them, waiting for a fu … flipping exclusive.”
“Shall I see about another entrance?”
“No, it’s okay; I just want to get in there. I need to see him.” I hopped out of the car quickly and dashed towards the entrance while Uncle Anthony went on to park the car.
It didn’t take long for one of the pack to notice me, and then it began.
“Miss Summers, how’s your father?”
“Miss Summers! Is it true your father’s heart attack is a result of his losing the Dixon case?”
“Miss Summers! Miss Summers!”
“Jo! This way! Jo, can you tell us how he is?”
I proceeded to ignore the constant screams and made it through the entrance unscathed. I was taken immediately to the room where my dad lay fighting for his life. I paused for a moment before entering the room.
After taking a few deep breaths, I opened the door to find my mum curled up in a chair next to my dad’s bed. She was sleeping but had a firm grip on his hand. Then there was my dad. My breath caught at the sight of him; he looked completely different to how I remembered him. He had lost weight since I last saw him – a lot of weight. His face was gaunt and grey. He had tubes and pipes attached to his mouth and arms, and numerous machines were beeping and pumping. It was all so hard to take in. He looked lifeless.
Mum stirred, and her eyes locked with mine.
“Josephine! Oh, my darling, you are here.” I saw the relief in her face as she sighed heavily. “Come here,” she sobbed. Loosing Dad’s hands, she leaped from the chair and took me in her arms. We stood for what felt like an eternity, holding each other and crying; I didn’t realize how much I had missed either of them until this moment – the familiarity of being with them, the safe feeling I felt just knowing they were close by. I had missed them more than I could ever explain. I didn’t want to let Mum go; she had needed me since the night before, but I was too far away to help her. But now I was here, I would do everything I could to help her and to help my dad. They needed me now: it was now my turn to look after them.
Mum stepped back and held my face in her hands. “Look at you.” She smiled slightly. “You have grown into such a beautiful young lady. Just look at you.” She used her thumbs to wipe away my tears before turning to my dad. “She’s here, John; she’s back. Look, our beautiful girl is here.” Mum sat back down, taking one of his hands in hers once more. I stepped closely and perched myself on the edge of his bed, taking his other hand in mine.
“Talk to him,” Mum said quietly, not taking her eyes from him. “They think he can hear us,” she said, nodding to the nurse who was hovering outside the door.
“Really?” I asked.
Mum nodded.
“Hey,” I choked out, “look at you with all the ladies running around after you.” I tried to smile, to sound positive, but it was hurting so bad. I looked to Mum, unsure of what I should say. She just smiled and nodded for me to continue.
“Could you open your eyes for me, Daddy, please?” The beeping and pumping of the machines seemed to get more intense the more I sat there and begged him to wake up.
“Why won’t you wake up, Daddy? Just stop it now and wake up!” I couldn’t help the rise in the tone as I begged him, causing my mum to flinch slightly. “Please,” I whispered, “please don’t you dare die.” The dams broke and the tears flew freely down my face. Mum stood and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, comforting me while she was the one who could potentially lose the man who had been her rock for the past thirty-five years. She held me so tightly as she too sobbed. I realized that I needed to be strong; it was killing me seeing Dad lyin
g there helpless and hanging on for dear life, but Mum needed me now. I needed to be her rock. She had been my mother for twenty-five years and had looked after me through every page of my life; it was time now for me to return her the favour.
Sucking in numerous deep breaths, I turned to Mum. “He’s going to be okay. He is going to be okay, Mum, I promise.”
The minutes felt like hours; the hours like days. We just sat, watched, and waited. Nurses came and went, checking OBS and jotting down numbers on his chart. He wasn’t improving, but he also wasn’t getting any worse. I kept telling us both that that was a good sign; no news was always good news. Always.
Placing my head against the coolness of the glass window, I watched as life outside carried on as normal. Shoppers and tourists went about their business as normal. Some people rushed as though the apocalypse were about to arrive, and others dawdled as if they had all the time in the world. Old couples sat hand in hand on benches, eating ice creams and drinking coffee.
It wasn’t until this moment, here and now, as I stood looking out of a hospital window, that I realized just how cruel life was. We would breeze through it as if nothing mattered, not noticing tiny milestones yet worrying about things that in the long run would mean nothing, and for what? Life should be lived, enjoyed, remembered, yet we only remember this when it becomes too late, when we’re standing at our father’s bedside while he fights for his life. Yes, life was cruel.
“Were you with him?” I said, breaking the silence that had formed in the room. I turned away from the outside world and walked back to Mum and Dad. “Please tell me he wasn’t alone.”
Mum never took her eyes away from Dad as she spoke. “I was there.”
I felt relief knowing he wasn’t alone when it happened.
“You know he lost the Dixon case?” Mum said.
Closing my eyes, I sighed. Dad was a high-class solicitor, and over the years he had won some very high-profile cases. He had built up such a reputation that celebrities from every walk of life were now looking to him for help. Work had taken over Dad’s life when I was just eleven. Before that, he would work a normal day, come home, and spend every minute of his evenings with me. We were inseparable; I was well and truly a daddy’s girl. I would wait at the window for him every night without fail. And no matter what sort of day he had had, he would never bring it home. He was happy; we were all happy. But that would all change as he became better and better at what he did best.
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