Her sewing fell to the ground. Dear God.
Chapter Fifteen
Alexandra entered the parlor, her heart tripping like a sledgehammer inside her chest. It had been more than five years since she'd seen Gordon. Five years since that fateful courtroom appearance when jshe'd found out just how deceiving her husband could be. Five years since he'd told the world she'd committed adultery, when she'd never been intimate with anyone but him.
But now he stood, his back facing her, his hands clasped behind him, staring out the window at the cotton fields of River Bend.
She cleared her throat. "Hello, Gordon. What a surprise to see you here."
He whirled around at her. "I doubt that very much, Alexandra. Haven't you been expecting me?"
Alexandra raised her chin. Though her insides quivered, a smile played at the edges of her mouth. "No. Why should I?"
He crossed the room in two short strides. "Don't play games with me. You know exactly why I'm here. You swore revenge at the divorce hearing, and now it looks like you finally found a way to get even with me."
"Whatever are you talking about, Gordon? I've just returned to the States four months ago. And since then, I've remarried. I've been very busy." She hoped her voice didn't sound as fake as she felt.
He stood within inches of her. His steely gray eyes bore a hole in her, the look dredging up buried memories of their marriage. Remembrances of past arguments and demands she would sooner forget.
She took a deep breath and refused to back down under Gordon's stare. After all, what more could the man do to her? He had taken her dowry, ruined her good name, and practically had her banished. Why should she fear him ever again?
"Someone has written a novel about our marriage. A book about a banker who cheats his clients, impregnates his mistress, and accuses his wife of adultery. This character divorces his wife to marry his mistress."
Alexandra couldn't quite contain her smile. "Hmm. Sounds like the two of you could be twins. So are you admitting you did those things?"
"No," he shouted. "But the book gives several facts that reveal it's about us."
"And what's the name of this novel?" Alexandra enjoyed his obvious displeasure, waiting for just the right moment to end his speculation. This day was what she had been waiting years for.
"Hester's Revenge."
Alexandra gazed at Gordon and noticed the tiny crow's feet around his eyes, the way his hair was turning gray at his temples. His hands looked soft, his nails buffed. Internally, she cringed. The memory of those hands twisting her nipples cruelly, tying her to a chair, made her shiver. "So how does Hester get her revenge?"
"At the end of the book, the banker is investigated for fraud. There is a run on his bank. Soon, he loses everything. His wife and daughter leave him and he's penniless and alone."
Alexandra walked across the room, putting distance between herself and Gordon. She couldn't stand to be close to her exhusband. Yet the pain of his betrayal that she'd felt when she saw him both during and after their divorce was no longer there. In fact, the only thing she felt when she looked at him was revulsion.
"So what do I have to do with this book?" she baited him.
Gordon strode across the room. "Who did you hire to write this novel? Who's the son of a bitch? I can't decide whether I want to sue him or kill you."
She raised her brows. A smile graced her face as she tried to remain calm, when all she wanted to do was scream that she'd written the book. "What makes you think I had something to do with this publication?"
He was close enough that she could smell the overpowering scent of his cologne. "You're the only one who had this kind of information. You're the only one who could have told someone the things that are in this story. Tell me, Alexandra, who is the bastard?"
''No one, Gordon," she said softly, the smell of menthol triggering memories of his abuse, the combination almost overwhelming her.
For a moment he simply stared at her. "What?"
"I didn't hire anyone to write the book," she said between clenched teeth, angry with herself for letting this man overpower her during their marriage. For letting herself be bullied by him.
"Are you telling me you wrote Hester's Revenge?"
"You lost your rights to interfere in my life five years ago," she spat. "I don't have to tell you anything."
His eyes widened with sudden realization. "You did. You wrote this godawful book. You're John Smith."
"When we were married you liked me to pretend I was someone else." She paused, her gaze never leaving him. She shrugged noncommittally. "I could be John Smith."
He grabbed her by the shoulders, his face flushed, the veins in his neck taut with anger. "I'm not going to let you ruin me. I could take you to court and sue you."
"I don't care. Sue me. But just remember I didn't use your name in the book. If you take me to court, everyone will know you are the main character in Hester's Revenge and then they'll know the truth regarding our marriage."
He twisted his hands in the bare flesh of her arms, hurting her. "All I have to do is have James testify against you again. It worked last time and it will again."
"No, it won't, Gordon. I spoke with an attorney. In a civil matter, you will have to prove you didn't do these things to me. You'll have to prove you're not a liar and a cheat. Think of all the publicity such a trial would cause." She thrust out her chest and yanked his hands from her, his touch leaving her feeling soiled. "Go ahead and sue me, Gordon. The sales will soar. Go ahead, make me a wealthy woman, since you left me nearpenniless before."
His face turned red. His eyes flashed with fury. "You're mad. I should have locked you up in an asylum."
Alexandra laughed. "Not mad, just out to hurt you. After all, you destroyed my belief in human decency and kindness, took my money, cast me aside, ruined my reputation, then discarded me without regard to my feelings or my pride."
She raised her finger and poked it into his chest. "You expected me to do nothing but lie down, take it, and die. Well, I have a surprise for you: The sequel will be printed soon."
He swallowed nervously and walked to the window. He stood with his back to her. "I'm contacting my lawyer."
"Contact him, and remember a trial would please me tremendously. Maybe, finally, I'd have my day in court."
Gordon spun around, facing her. Clenching his fists, he strode to within inches of her. "You stupid little nitwit. Have you considered what this will do to my wife and family?"
"Did you consider what the divorce did to me?" she shot back. "I would have gone to my grave your wife, even though I always knew you were a bastard."
Gordon ran his hand across his face. "You weren't enough. I wanted Julia. I've always loved her."
"So you left me with nothing. No home, no money, no pride, no social standing or selfrespect. You took everything, Gordon. Everything except my soul, and that was badly damaged."
She was so angry, she hardly heard the opening of the drawing room door. "Alexandra?"
Whirling around at the sound of Connor's voice, she was stunned to see him standing just inside the door. Dear God! Why couldn't he have stayed out in the fields just a little longer?
She took a deep breath to calm herself, feeling awkward. "Yes?"
"Who is our guest?"
With a forced smile, she swallowed the lump that swelled and filled her throat. "Connor, this is Gordon Thurston, my exhusband."
Connor stiffened and the two men eyed each other warily.
"I was just leaving," Gordon said as he grabbed his hat. His face was red with suffused anger. He glanced at Connor. "Your wife is a witch. I'd suggest you watch your back very carefully."
He jerked around to glare at Alexandra. "You'll be hearing from my lawyer soon."
"I look forward to his message."
Gordon walked to the front door and slammed out of the house, leaving Alexandra with mixed feelings. Her revenge was going better than she had ever expected, but somehow the pleasure was not as
great as she had anticipated. In fact, she felt a little soiled by what had just transpired. Deliberately hurting Gordon was not as satisfying as she had dreamed of for so many years.
And Connor's look of puzzlement was somehow disheartening.
"What brought him here and why did he say you'd be hearing from his lawyer?"
She clasped her hands together as if she were praying. The time for truth was upon her, yet she held back, afraid it was just one more thing for them to fight about. And she was tired of battling with Connor. Her soul longed for peace, a truce between them.
"There's something I need to tell you, something I should have said before we were married."
The look on his face was patient, even concerned, and she knew it would not last long once she told him the truth. She shivered, wondering when this day would end, wondering at Connor's response.
"Remember the newspaper article about the book called Hester's Revenge?"
"Yes. It's causing quite a commotion right now. No one knows who ..."
His voice trailed off and he looked at Alexandra, a stunned expression on his face as she knew he realized the truth.
"I'm the author, Connor. I wrote Hester's Revenge."
***
Connor had sent a servant to Charleston immediately to purchase a copy of Hester's Revenge, while he went to deliver a foal. Now, the sun would soon be rising as he closed his copy of the book his wife had written and laid it aside. If what Alexandra had written in this book was true, Gordon Thurston was a despicable man who deserved to be horsewhipped.
He felt so utterly shocked that a man of Gordon's wealth and position could so publicly throw away his wife with such brutality. How could Alexandra's father have permitted his daughter to lose her most prized possession, her reputation, her social position? In today's world, women had very little, and once their reputation was damaged or destroyed, they had nothing. Yet somehow his wife had survived, and in the end, it seemed she would get her revenge on Gordon.
But at what price? And was it worth it?
Connor had done some unscrupulous things to women in his life, but never anything quite so malicious and damaging to a woman as what Gordon had done to Alexandra.
He understood her need for vengeance completely. In the same situation he would have done something even more devious. Gordon deserved some kind of comeuppance for the things he had done to Alexandra. But when who had written such a scandalous book became public knowledge, the consequences could bring society's scorn down upon both Connor and Alexandra like the plague.
Gordon Thurston was a fool. A fool to let someone like Alexandra get away from him. A fool to have thought that money and a mistress were more important than his wife. And if society wanted to think of her as an adulteress, they were all fools too.
Part of him wanted to call the scoundrel out today and put a bullet through him. Yet he knew dueling would only send him to jail for Gordon's murder. But the image of putting a bullet through Gordon's wicked heart was pleasant.
He raked his hand through his hair. Now he understood some of Alexandra's reactions. How could she trust any man after what Gordon had done to her? How could she ever let herself care again? Connor's heart felt near to bursting for her.
Two months had passed since that fateful night when she had shown him what heaven on earth could be. Two months since Alexandra had found out about the bet. Two months since he had held her in his arms. Two long months of doing nothing but wanting and needing her warmth, her smile.
The notorious bachelor of Charleston County was starting to feel like a lovesick fool. Could he be falling in love with Alexandra? Or was it simple desire that made his blood pump at the sight of her, made his hands tingle with the need to touch her each time he saw her.
Avoidance of emotion had been his policy since the fiasco with Georgiana. Since the time his best friend had married his first love, he had avoided permanent entanglements with women. But he could not run away from his wife, and he could not hide from the feelings she seemed to evoke in him.
And if the truth were told, he didn't want to run away from Alexandra. He felt drawn to her more each day. He loved the sound of her laughter, the tone of her voice. He was attracted to her intelligence, her sense of humor, and her wit. He loved the sense of family she had created in their home, and the thought of children filling the house touched him like never before.
He now knew that his wife had never committed adultery. She had been framed by her wicked husband and then ostracized because of his accusations. She'd lost friends and even family because of this man's terrible lies.
Alexandra had every right to have written Hester's Revenge. But damn, he hated being caught in the middle of such a scandal in which he and Suzanne would be dragged through society's muck.
His own period of being blackballed had been brought about by a selfish act, but Alexandra had done nothing wrong. Though Connor had doubted her innocence in the beginning, over the months he had begun to find her incapable of such wanton behavior. And to be accused of something she'd never done, a charge that caused everyone to turn away from her ... he could not imagine the betrayal she must have felt.
Now he knew she had been faithful, even though Gordon had been less than an ideal husband. Gordon's lascivious ways had been overlooked. No one had questioned when he'd married his mistress, or if they had, the gossip had died quickly.
Connor stood, walked to the window, and looked out at the sun, which was slowly peeking over the edge of the eastern sky. The first rays of sunlight touched River Bend's cotton crops. For a moment, Connor wished that sunlight could magically transform the sight into healthy fertile fields filled with a bumper crop.
But the sunlight only revealed the crop was small again this year and would not pay the taxes he owed. He desperately needed the funds Alexandra's father had promised once she became pregnant. But even that seemed a remote possibility now. Connor walked over to his breakfast tray. He picked up the paper and read the article on the front page. First Bank of New York was being investigated for fraud. Gordon Thurston was wanted for questioning.
The publicity was beginning to heat up.
He folded the paper. Leona came up the stairs, a breakfast tray in her arms. She glanced at him.
"Mrs. Manning's feeling poorly this morning, so I'm going to take her breakfast to her."
"Is she all right?" Connor questioned.
Leona smiled and reassured him."She's just a bit under the weather. Nothing that a day of rest won't cure. She'll be fine."
Connor laid the folded newspaper on the tray. "This should cheer her."
***
Alexandra lay with a book in her lap, rereading the same paragraphs over and over, her mind unable to concentrate. She had awakened feeling nauseous this morning, and didn't know if it was from something she'd eaten or from the memory of Gordon's visit that had haunted her all night. Connor now knew of Hester's Revenge, and would soon know the dirty details of her marriage to Gordon. The knowledge couldn't have come at a worse time.
Since the night of the opera when she'd realized he'd turned down Lizzie, there had seemed to be a quiet peaceful coexistence that had not been there since the morning she'd overheard Connor and William discussing that blasted bet. She and Connor had actually enjoyed each other's company lately, and had even gotten along reasonably well. At least until Gordon had showed up and possibly ruined everything.
She had been a fool not to tell Connor about her marriage to Gordon, or about the book. But she had not thought of this marriage as lasting. At the time, she had not cared about Connor's feelings regarding the ensuing scandal.
But now, she didn't want Gordon and Hester's Revenge to come between them. She wanted things to continue, though she was restless for something more. She craved Connor's attention, longed for his touch, and couldn't remember a time in her life when she had felt more aware of a man. She had vague hopes that left warm feelings. Feelings she'd never thought to experience.
The sound of boots bounding up the outside stairs had her jerking up her book. Only Connor came into the house sounding like a stampede of cattle. Only Connor approached life eager to greet each new day and discover the challenge of tomorrow. Only Connor made her heart race with excitement.
Yesterday afternoon, Nate had interrupted them with a problem in the fields. One of Connor's foals had finally delivered late last night. Like a coward, Alexandra had retreated to her bedroom and feigned sleep. Today, there would be no escaping Connor now that he knew of Hester's Revenge.
Connor opened the door to the sitting room and stopped. He stood staring at her, and she awaited the explosion of his anger. After all, she had never spoken the truth regarding her marriage and now Connor's life was about to be publicly scrutinized, all because of her.
How would she feel if Connor revealed a secret he had purposely kept hidden from her, one that would affect her socially?
Honesty and trust. Their marriage lacked two essential elements, two necessary ingredients.
She glanced at her husband standing in the doorway, and swallowed nervously. "Yes?"
Connor stood before her, an inquisitive look on his face. "I wanted to check and make sure you were feeling better."
His inquiry threw her completely off balance. She was expecting a tirade and he asked about her health?
"I'm ffine," she stammered. She swung her legs over the chaise and stood. She'd been expecting him to lash out at her for keeping a secret this important from him. Instead, he'd greeted her with concern.
Alexandra watched as he walked around the room, his hands in his pocket, his head bowed in thought. Finally, he raised his gaze to her, his eyes dark with some hidden emotion.
"Why didn't you tell me, Alexandra? Why didn't you tell me what Gordon had done?" His voice was low, his tone deep and soothing.
She took a deep breath and stared at him, her pride stiffening her resolve. "At first, I really didn't care what you thought. I didn't feel that I owed you an explanation."
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