Without her formal clothing on Jacqui felt exposed, as though she were almost naked. She kept looking down at herself, second-guessing her outfit. She spent a lot of time walking Annie, even though she had her own flap of a door to go in and out of the house. She also spent a lot of time gazing at a sleeping Elspeth.
“I’m so glad you told me the story of her name, Damesha,” Jacqui said with an awkward smile. She was building something unusual for herself with Damesha; a real friendship.
“I’m hoping the book will be printed soon. I spent a long time getting it all in order and now Elspeth’s story is going to be told.” Damesha looked satisfied with life. A former slave, Elspeth’s namesake had led runaway slaves from southern states to the free-state of Kansas before the Civil War freed those enslaved throughout the nation. A heroine that history forgot about until Damesha came along and dug up her story.
Jacqui found the woman fascinating. She’d overcome a life of parental drug use, the consequences of parental incarceration, poverty, and the death of her parents to succeed in her career. Now she had Kane and Elspeth. Jacqui wasn’t sure if they were married or not but it didn’t matter to her. She’d not asked Damesha a single probing question, the other woman had simply volunteered the information.
Damesha could be a problem in her ice wall. Jacqui had considered avoiding her but she’d suffered a new emotion when she refused a lunch invitation; she’d missed the triple threat of Damesha, Elspeth, and Annie. She’d answered the next offer with a quick yes.
Jacqui decided she’d let herself have this time with the trio as she was facing a pointless life, after all. As little more than an ornament, she was going to die and be forgotten the same as the first Elspeth had. Only there wouldn’t be a young woman to bring her out of obscurity over a hundred years later. She knew that was the life she’d wanted, but the woman’s story, along with Damesha, had made her wonder about the future.
Jacqui wandered down to the dining room and joined Cade. As usual, they were dining alone because Cade liked to eat late at around eight o’clock. He kept a hectic and varied schedule, something it would be Jacqui’s duty to keep up with. She sat with her knees together and her hands in her lap as a young woman she still hadn’t been introduced to served up their food. Roasted chicken tonight. At least the food was good. Well, it had improved since she’d learned to nail her ice wall up anyway. Cade could crack it sometimes, melt the ice to a glassy sheen, but she always managed to plug the faults before it gave way completely.
Suppressing the urge to sigh, Jacqui began eating and waited for the man to speak. She didn’t do this out of fear of physical or even mental harm, it was just something she’d learned to do with him. He’d talk, eat, then go to bed or whatever it was he did at night. She wasn’t concerned with that, only with making sure he was pleased with her. As usual, she spoke little.
“I think it’s time to set a date, don’t you, Jacqui?” He said the words casually, without inflection, as he said most things now.
“Of course. What day were you thinking of?” She cut up an asparagus spear before taking a small bite and looking at Cade.
“I thought perhaps Saturday. Then we can go on the expected honeymoon to New Orleans for a few days, perhaps. Then back home. Is that amenable?” He didn’t even look at her.
“That sounds fine, I haven’t been to New Orleans in a few years. It would be nice to go back.”
“It’s settled then.” He went back to eating his food, the day’s discussion over with it seemed.
The plates had been cleared and a dessert tray brought out once they’d finished the meal. They both made a choice and they were alone once more. Jacqui always felt strange about the staff or whatever they were. She knew nothing about them and they never spoke about anything other than the food. They also seemed to appear and disappear from nowhere. One moment they were there, the next they were gone.
“One other thing, Jacqui. Kane says you spend quite a bit of your day with Damesha and the baby. That’s fine, no, don’t worry.” She’d been on the verge of saying she’d stop immediately if it was a problem but he stopped her. “No, I just wanted to tell you that if you’d like to, sometime in the future, we can adopt a child. If you’d like to. I know it was something we dismissed in the situation, having children, but I thought that maybe one day we’d both like to have a child of our own.”
“Whatever you’d like, Cade.” She’d considered the idea but hadn’t fully thought about it. A child of her own? That was a big step.
“Good. I’ll see you tomorrow then. I have to go out of town tonight, and I’ll be back tomorrow evening. Someone will come with dress samples for you in the morning.” With that, he wiped his mouth and left the room.
Married and a mother, all within an hour. Finally allowing herself that deep breath she’d been putting off, Jacqui wondered if she hadn’t bitten off more than she’d planned for with Cade. She had to fight hard to maintain her walls, she’d had to fight tonight to reach over and touch his hand. That warmth he’d shown on her first day here had disappeared, now he’d come to be the man she expected. She wished now she’d never seen that warm side of him.
Standing, she walked to her room to spend another quiet night alone. She’d taken up crocheting as a way to pass the time, and had started a blanket for the baby. Using local yarn from lambs’ wool, she was excited to see the blanket taking shape. She’d made a few mistakes but that was part of the fun of the process, wasn’t it? The act of crocheting might be the only place she’d ever allowed herself to make a misstep. Changing into a silk nightgown, she settled onto the white linen settee in her room and turned on some music. With a secret smile all of her own, she wondered if soon she’d be making one for her own child.
Chapter Four
Jacqui
“He’s nothing like your father, Jacqui, calm down.” Jacqui stared into the mirror, alone for a moment in her room, and made a face at herself. All of her worries had surfaced as the day progressed. She was dressed in the mermaid style creation of silk, lace, and seed pearls that she’d bought as a sample size from the distributor and couldn’t believe just how lovely she looked. This might be a sham wedding but she’d found her dream gown for it.
She hadn’t thought it mattered but when she’d seen the dress she knew it was the one. Sexy but tasteful, demure but provocative, it was everything she wanted in a wedding gown. None of them had to know the virginal white was suitable to her status. Now she just had to calm her head and her stomach down.
Doubts had started as soon as she woke up. As the hairdresser spun her hair into a transfixing plethora of braids she knew would probably take her hours to undo, she told herself Cade wasn’t a criminal. Unlike her father.
As Damesha helped her to slip the gown over some very expensive lingerie, she told herself Cade wasn’t a cheat. Unlike her father.
As she took one final moment to look herself over, her makeup artist sweeping one last bit of blush across her cheeks, she told herself that Cade might be cold but he was honest. Unlike her father.
With shaking hands, she took her bridal bouquet from Damesha and walked down the stairs. A team of photographers took pictures of her as she trailed down, the popping flashes of the cameras making her dizzy for a moment. She stared into the cameras, her eyes round and wide, a pose that to her screamed of her fear but to others showed only innocence and curiosity. Some would even later say how hopeful she looked. Jacqui knew it was fear that told her she was wrong and Cade was just like her father.
Damesha held the train of the gown as she walked out to the bower prepared for the nuptials and Jacqui told herself that Cade might be many things, but weak and conceited weren’t one of them. Finally, she stood before him, their hands joined, and she knew that this man might be the alpha male type and that he’d always want his way, but he wasn’t her father. He was nothing like her father and could never be anything like him. Cade would never leave her to fend for herself; he’d never leave her in povert
y with her only caretaker a drug addicted woman sinking into her own despair. He might not be her lover or her best friend, but he would be a great husband. She’d already signed the papers to prove it.
The rest of the actual wedding blurred past. Jacqui said the words required and looked ecstatic to be wedding Cade. All she could see was his eyes. For the first time since the day she’d met him his eyes held warmth. Even curiosity.
The only people present were his family, mainly his brother and Damesha, and a few people she didn’t know but assumed were important. There’d been nobody she wanted to invite. Evelyn and Carla couldn’t come on such short notice and she had no family that she knew of. A small reception was going to be held briefly, and an hour later they were heading to the airport to take a private jet to New Orleans.
“Thank you for coming.” She air-kissed Cade’s brother on the cheek before looking to the next person in line; a tall older woman with badly dyed black hair and cold gray eyes.
“I know what you are,” the woman said with acid in her voice before turning away.
Jacqui’s eyes notched in confusion, wondering how the woman knew she was a fake bride. The woman disappeared before Jacqui could ask her. Damesha rushed up to Jacqui with arms open wide. She looked beautiful in a light blue silk dress.
“Congratulations!” Damesha hugged Jacqui close, an unexpected touch that Jacqui would normally have pulled away from but she couldn’t disappoint the woman.
Jacqui wrapped her arms around the other woman and felt the almost robotic fog that had overtaken her begin to evaporate for a moment. She reveled in the touch and absorbed the warmth Damesha offered. Then she brought the wall down again and pushed the woman away gently.
“Thank you, Damesha. How’s Elspeth?” The baby was with her adoring father.
“Kane! Bring Elspeth over, her new aunt wants to see her!” Damesha called out to her husband with a wide smile of pride.
Jacqui looked down at the baby, her light coffee-colored skin and blue eyes captivating her for a moment. “She is so beautiful.”
“She is, thank you. I bet you’re going to miss her aren’t you?” Damesha’s pride was still shining in her eyes as Annie came up to snuffle at her knees. “And our Annie. Hey, baby.”
Damesha bent down to pet the dog, missing the moment of pain that flashed in Jacqui’s eyes as she realized she was going to miss all of them. By the time Damesha stood back up the pain was gone, a calm look of resignation replacing it.
“I’ll be expecting pictures every day! Let me find Cade now, I think we’re going to eat soon.” They hadn’t wanted a drawn out wedding, just a simple affair to mark the occasion. If they were together too long questions might be raised about why they never touched or how they didn’t appear to be in love.
Damesha already had her own questions, Jacqui had seen it in the woman’s eyes, but so far she hadn’t asked. Jacqui was grateful for Damesha’s discretion and squeezed her hand before moving away. She found Cade directing the placement of food around the table and took her seat in preparation.
Everyone was soon gathered around and enjoying the food. As the sound of scraping forks and knives waned, Kane stood and held his champagne glass aloft.
“To the bride and groom, may you share a lifetime of friendship, happiness and love.” A round of cheers followed the toast and Jacqui looked away for a brief moment. Her eyes were stinging again at the lie she was living.
She’d get used to it, she told herself. She had all she wanted now, right?
She drank two more glasses of champagne before the trial was over, the cake consumed, and her clothes changed. She and Cade, handsome in an all-black tuxedo, made their way out of the door as the gathered family and friends saw the couple off.
Jacqui ducked, trying to avoid getting sunflower seeds in her hair as the happy people behind her threw the birdfeed after them. She wondered in a detached way if any of the seeds would sprout later.
“Let me help you in.” Cade took her hand and guided her, her tight white dress a little unbending as she tried to get into the long black car waiting for them. “You looked lovely today.”
He slid in beside her and failed to see her look of shock at his words.
“Quite a lovely day, I must say, thank you.” He flicked a button, letting the driver know they were ready and the car took off, speeding to the airport.
“You, uh, you looked very nice yourself. Thank you for today.” She sat stiffly beside him, not close enough to touch at all. Her hands rested in her lap, the picture of demure womanhood he’d wanted. Her hair was still in a multitude of plaits but it suited her. She’d take it all down later when he wasn’t watching.
The driver took the bend out of their driveway rather sharply and Jacqui instantly felt the result of three glasses of champagne as she failed to react quickly. She landed in Cade’s lap and his eyes caught hers. She was unable to move further, desire flaring instantly.
Stronger and hotter than she’d ever felt the need before, desire pulsed through her body as she came into direct contact with Cade. Her lips parted slightly, her nostrils flared, and her pupils dilated, matching the exact responses she saw in him. His eyes seemed to change, a light appearing in them she’d not noticed before. He leaned down slowly, his lips drawing closer and she couldn’t move. Inside she screamed at herself to move away, to push him away, anything but stop him kissing her.
Jacqui couldn’t stop it.
She closed her eyes, anticipating the moment, longing for it with all of her soul. She waited and hoped but nothing happened. She opened her eyes, confused.
Cade was still staring down at her but something else appeared in his eyes. Shock maybe? Horror? He pushed her away and she moved to her window, settling into the seat as her cheeks flamed. She’d revealed herself to him. And he’d rejected her. Shame filled her and she stared out of the window. He was gay, what had she been thinking?
She felt shame at her moment of obvious desire. What he must think of her! Okay, so he’d seemed to reciprocate for a moment, that didn’t mean anything really. It could have just been curiosity.
“We’ll be at the airport soon enough. You can nap if you’d like, there’s a bed on board or have a shower. The flight shouldn’t take too long.” His voice was strained but she didn’t look at him. She didn’t want to reveal any more secrets to him today, not if she could help it.
She spent her wedding night, a balmy night in a private bed and breakfast in New Orleans, alone in her own room. She had no idea where Cade was. Sitting on a balcony in the long white negligee she’d bought herself in a moment of weakness, she watched the sun go down and wondered if she’d made the biggest mistake of her life.
Things didn’t change much after their wedding night. Cade spent most of his time on his phone or out, she had no idea where. She spent her time revisiting places she’d seen before or going to places she’d missed the first time around. Some were new and she loved the way the city was always adapting, rolling with the flow. She needed to be more like that, she decided.
She bought things for the baby with the credit card Cade had given her, and a few things for her room. Apparently, she was going to have her own suite of rooms in the house and bought some furniture from a merchant specializing in local woods. She also bought Cade something but had no idea when she’d ever give it to him. She found it in an antique shop, tucked away beneath a black velvet cloche hat from the 1920’s. A man’s ring, the stone carved from a large piece of amber, the ring was obviously old and detailed with scrollwork. In the spaces left were smaller pieces of amber filled with tiny bubbles and insects. Something about the ring caught her eye.
Taking it to the shop owner she waited for the woman to tell her the price.
“I’m sorry, there’s no tag on this and I just don’t remember it. Where did you find it?” The middle-aged woman with curly long blond hair and brown eyes looked at Jacqui inquiringly.
“It was under the black hat, on that marble side table
over there.” Jacqui waved in the general direction of the table.
“Oh, I see. Well, normally I wouldn’t sell this without finding out more about it but, well, there’s something about you.” The woman offered Jacqui a reasonable price and she paid with a thank you. She tucked the now boxed ring away in her bag, wondering if she’d ever really give it to Cade or if it would sit in her bag forever.
“Sometimes customers find things we miss. It’s the strangest thing, stuff just appears from nowhere!” The woman gave a wave of her arms, a black silk shawl over her shoulders making the gesture more dramatic, and shook her head. Jacqui smiled and left with a word of understanding.
After a walk around a few other shops, Jacqui made her way back to the bed and breakfast and settled in for some lunch. Her phone buzzed just as the bed and breakfast’s owner was taking the plate away.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Jacqui, it’s Carla. How are you?” Her voice sounded uncertain, as though she’d been on the verge of hanging up the phone before Jacqui answered.
“I’m good, how are you?” It was nice to hear a familiar voice. She hadn’t realized how much she’d missed the other woman until she called.
“I’m not doing bad, actually. It’s been a while, things have changed, but I’m good.” It hadn’t really been that long but Jacqui knew well how quickly life could change.
“You went through with it then?” Jacqui’s voice revealed her concern. She’d caught the “things have changed” part and knew what it meant.
Cade (Alexander Shifter Brothers Book 2) Page 4