If it Aint One Thing it's Another

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If it Aint One Thing it's Another Page 9

by Sharron Doyle


  Venus was certain that Will was going to call BJ and tell him Petie was starting his shit again. She could see why Share wanted to go back to her co-op. She joined Share in her bedroom and helped her pack.

  Share drove her Lexus to the co-op and waited for the door-man to get her bags out of the back seat. She grabbed her coach briefcase and handbag, walked to the bank of elevators and waited. She rode upstairs with another tenant who got off on the fourth floor.

  Share walked into her seventh-floor co-op and hit the alarm keypad. She set her things down and went to the bar to make a drink. She called Will to let him know that she was there and would see him in the morning. She wanted to be alone tonight.

  Share flipped through the rolodex on the desk in her office and got the number for the District Attorney’s office. She was going to call him first thing in the morning. She prayed that Petie would just leave her alone, even though she knew he wouldn’t.

  It made her laugh when she thought of how crazy he must be about her, as she was with him at one time. He’s whipped, she thought. She laughed some more until reality set in. No—Petie did-n’t have feelings for her anymore; he had a score to settle. She was no longer in denial. She knew what time it was. Petie had expressed in all his letters how much he hated her and to not think anything other than that.

  Share poured herself another drink and got undressed for bed. She’d be all right after a good night’s sleep.

  Venus arrived home and as always, the first thing she did was open the back door so Bullet and Diamond could go out back. The place needed to air out. Diamond was pregnant again, and Venus never got the smell out from the last two litters of puppies she had. It smelled like it was her place, and Venus and BJ were just visitors.

  Speaking of BJ, he wasn’t home again. His schedule seemed to change over the past year, and he was hardly ever there. He had one more year of school and he would have his bachelor’s in business management. He was going full time and working part time. When he came in, he either had to study or was too tired to spend time with her. They hadn’t made love in two weeks and he was always coming in late.

  Venus called Share and they spoke briefly. She decided to take Share’s advice—strip down, relax and wait for BJ to come home. Maybe she’d get lucky tonight.

  ”But BJ, why can’t you stay just for tonight...p-l-e-e-e-a-se? I’ll make sure you’re up on time in the morning, and I might let you get some sleep,” Annette said with his dick between her lips. She sucked hard on the head until she pulled out his cum. Then she looked up at him with her bedroom eyes that always seemed to beg for more.

  BJ sat on the edge of the bed and thought about what lie he could tell Venus. He knew she was suspicious because his whole schedule had changed.

  ”Now, what am I supposed to tell my girl when she asks why I’m not coming in?” BJ asked Annette, knowing that she’d have an answer. He dialed Venus and let the phone ring twice. He hung up before she answered. He knew she couldn’t *69 him because Annette had a private phone number. He decided to take his ass home. He would see Annette tomorrow night.

  BJ got up to get dressed, but Annette pushed him back down onto the bed. She got on top of him in the 69 position and went to work on him, and in turn he went to work on her. BJ stuck his tongue in her asshole and sucked her butt juices. Annette hoped not to fart in his mouth.

  She told him to wait while she fixed her tongue ring. She bent over sideways and took the phone off the hook. She hit redial and when she heard Venus say ”hello,” she started calling BJ’s name. ”Oh, God, BJ, suck it harder. Yeah, baby, like that...ooh, God, I’m cummin’. BJ, suck my juice, daddy, suck it. AAAHHH, yes baby. Now lay back and let me sit on your face,” Annette purred, knowing Venus was hearing everything loud and clear. She wanted BJ all to herself and as far as she was concerned, Venus was too old for him anyway. She got up off his face and slowly slid down onto his dick, all the while calling out his name.

  BJ, not knowing what Annette had done, said, ”You know I love this pussy, right? Damn, mama, fuck your dick, mama...yeah, gimme my pussy, Nette.”

  After they both came Annette went into the bathroom. She came out quickly and hung up the phone, knowing that Venus had been still listening. She lit a cigarette and lay on the bed. She didn’t mind if BJ left now; she knew he’d be back.

  Venus was furious. She knew that wasn’t somebody playing a joke because she had heard BJ’s voice. She now knew why they hadn’t been fucking; he was fucking some bitch named Nette. At least that’s the name she thought she heard. She had tried to *69 the number, but it was private.

  Venus couldn’t wait for BJ to come through the door. She didn’t know if she should start packing his clothes or cutting them up. She sat in the living room and waited until she heard the car pull up. She’d been drinking, so BJ had better be ready for a fight.

  Bullet went to the door and relaxed when he saw BJ, who came in like he was guilty of nothing. He dropped his backpack and walked toward Venus to kiss her, but she turned her head. ”What’s good, ma? You in a bad mood?” he asked.

  ”No. As a matter of fact I’m in a good mood. I just don’t like kissing niggas whose breath smell like pussy. Go brush the hairs out your teeth,” Venus said getting up off the couch. BJ just stood there looking dumb.

  ”Did you use a condom? Or do you and Nette fuck raw?” she asked him, watching the many expressions on his face. BJ was trying to look confused now. ”Answer me, dammit!” she yelled up into his face.

  ”The fuck you talkin’ ‘bout, ma?” BJ was wondering how she knew.

  ”Oh, that’s a good one, BJ: The fuck you talkin’ ‘bout, ma?” she said mimicking him. ”Your breath smells like that bitch needs to douche. That’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout. How’s that for starters?!” she hollered before telling him everything she heard through the phone.

  When BJ got ready to turn to walk out the door, Venus slapped him like a bitch. He turned around and started choking her. They fell over the coffee table and onto the floor, and he landed on top of her. She dug her nails in his face and scratched him down to his chin. He began to bleed. He got up off of Venus and she jumped up from the floor like a mad woman, tearing at his clothes. She began to wildly scratch him all over his face and neck now. BJ back-handed her, and her lip started to bleed. She ran into the kitchen and got a pan. She came out and charged at him, screaming. She managed to hit him twice before he tackled her, knocking over the TV. BJ was on top of Venus again, choking the shit out of her, when Bullet locked his teeth around his ankle, tearing through the skin. BJ turned around on the floor and started kicking Bullet with the other foot as he screamed in pain. Venus was trying to catch her breath when Diamond jumped on BJ and locked his wrist between her jaws. BJ was bleeding badly now, with Bullet still tearing at his ankle. It was truly a scene. BJ struggled with both pits, kicking Bullet with his free leg and hitting Diamond with his free arm. When Venus realized that the dogs weren’t going to let him go, she called them off of him.

  BJ was screaming and crying like a bitch. There was blood everywhere. Venus didn’t know what to do first, so she made a drink and sat down.

  ”What the fuck!” BJ hollered. ”Do something! Call an ambulance!”

  Venus looked at him like he was Bin Laden. She didn’t know who this stranger was in her house. He was a foreigner to her now. ”No, fuck that. Tell Nette to call an ambulance. And get your chewed-up ass outta my house before I let the dogs loose on you again,” she said with a straight face. She felt no mercy—at least not for him. She only felt bad for her dogs because they had blood on them. The only thing she wanted to do right now was give them a bath.... At least they were trustworthy. She would take care of them first and then she’d cut up all of BJ’s clothes with a box cutter.

  BJ wobbled outside, dialed 9-1-1 and waited for an ambulance to come. When it arrived, he told the paramedics he’d been attacked by two pits while walking home from the train station. He would deal with Venus later.

>   Chapter Twenty-One

  Petie was at Fortieth Street waiting to report to his parole officer. He knew his urine was clean, but he hadn’t found a job yet. He had been home a little over a month, and his P.O. insisted that he get a job immediately. Petie would try and work around that; this time his P.O. was a woman, and she looked like she hadn’t had a good dick in a long time. If push came to shove, he would get at her. But he needed to feel her out some more to see if she was with it. If she was, he’d put something in her back. She would be the one looking for a job by the time he was done with her...he’d be the P.O. and she’d be the parolee. The thought made him smile. She called his name and he got up and walked into her office.

  She was a little heavy, but she had nice lips. He wondered if she was a head nurse, or in her case the head parole officer. He looked at her and wondered how much she weighed...he wouldn’t be picking her up. She’d be picking him up. She needed to lay off the donuts and leave the corn chips alone. Then maybe she’d slim down.

  Petie sat down across from her and gave her his pretty-ass smile. She smiled back. Yeah, I’ma give big girl something to smile about, he thought. She’s gonna be one happy bitch.

  Petie got on the expressway and listened to Biggie’s Notorious Thugs while heading uptown. It felt good to be home. He rode through Washington Heights and hollered at one of his old Dominican connects. He and Calderone talked for a few minutes before coming to an agreement. Calderone knew Petie had just come home, and he remembered the status Petie had before getting knocked. Petie paid him twenty grams and Calderone fronted him ten on GP.

  Petie pulled up in front of his building. When he got inside his apartment he put the material in the bedroom. He went back out to the smoke shop and bought a couple of packs of 12 x 12 thins and 12 × 12 regulars to bag up his material. He was ready to jump off again, and the feeling of getting that money made his stomach tighten in knots. He also bought two fifty-cent razors and a pack of Newports and headed back to the crib. He had about eighty dollars in his pocket, and he wanted to set his work on the street quick. Luckily, Renee wasn’t home, so he could work in peace. He definitely wanted to be finished before his sons came home. He went to work and after the first forty dimes were ready, he made a phone call.

  Ty came through and picked up the first forty from Petie. He left and headed back to his project on St. Nicholas. Ty was nineteen years old now, but Petie remembered when he used to change his diapers. He always thought Ty was his son, because he was fuckng his mother around the time she got pregnant. Ty was a money-get-tin’ nigga, and he was just fifteen when Petie had first put work in his hand. He proved then that he was about it.

  Petie sat back and started making plans for his next move. He was thinking about robbing the Dominicans on Broadway between 139th and 140th Street. Yeah, he would bag them, but right now he wanted to speak to Share.

  He called her restaurant on 125th Street and was told that she wasn’t in but could be reached at home. Petie didn’t have her number; she’d gotten it changed. He found that out when he came home and tried to call her. No problem, booty-licious; I’ll still get at you, he thought. He missed the way Share sounded when he had his dick in her ass. The thought of her whining voice in his ear made him rise for the occasion.... Where’s Renee? Petie wanted to be up in something right now. He never had to wait to fuck somebody, especially when he was behind the wall. Mike-Mike was always ready for him with a juice-filled hole. Petie slid up in him easy—no lubrication, no nothing. He thought about the other faggot he used to fuck on a regular while on his third state bid. He wondered where he was now. He would never fuck with either of them in the real world, and he hoped that part of his life never surfaced.

  Petie dozed off and was awakened by the phone ringing. It was Ladelle calling to tell him he couldn’t see him this weekend because he and Lydia were going to see a play at the Beacon Theater. He told Petie to come by and get him, and they could squeeze in a quick game of basketball. Petie looked at his watch and told Ladelle he’d be there shortly. But first he wanted to check Ty and see what he had for him.

  Ty told him he’d given out five sample bags and that he still had about twenty-two dimes left. He had sold thirteen, and Petie told him to sell fifteen more and give him $330.00. He told Ty he’d take care of him on the next pack, and he would. Petie always kept the money black and never shitted on his workers. His word was his bond, and everybody knew that. He stashed the dough and headed to the Polo Grounds to play some ball with the fellas.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Kalif was leaving the African shop on 125th after getting his braids done over. The girl who normally braided his hair wasn’t there, so he had let another chick do it. She was braiding it too damn tight and he told her, ”Don’t pull my edges. If my hair starts coming out I’m gonna have your ass deported.” She assured him that his hair was fine. Kalif didn’t like her to begin with. She smelled like rice and old peanut butter. He paid her and bounced.

  Will was at the restaurant right across the street. The regular manager, Abdul, was on vacation, so Will was covering for him for two weeks. Kalif entered the restaurant and waited for Will. They left shortly after, hopped in Will’s Durango and headed toward Convent Avenue.

  Will pulled up in front of Petie’s building and he and Kalif got out of the truck. They waited for someone to come out so they could get inside the building. No one did, so Kalif started ringing people’s bells. There was a buzz sound, and Kalif stepped in and held the door for Will.

  They checked the names and found the apartment they were looking for. ”Listen, son. We just comin’ to holla at this cat—no drama. Let’s see what’s good with him and take it from there,” Will told Kalif. They rang Petie’s doorbell and Renee opened the door. She didn’t know who they were and she was a little confused, seeing two young thugs at her door. Kalif asked for Petie and Renee said he wasn’t home. She told him to call him on his cell phone.

  ”Nah, that wont’ be necessary,” Kalif replied. “What time is he comin’ in?”

  Renee, sensing that something was wrong with this picture, asked Kalif, ”Who should I tell him stopped by?”

  Kalif smiled and said, ”The boogeyman,” and he punched Renee in the face. She fell on the floor and Kalif then kicked her on the side of her head. Darnell looked out from the doorway of his room, saw his mother on the floor and ran to her. Kalif pulled out on him. ”Where your old man at, youngster?” Kalif asked him with the heat pointed at his head.

  ”I-I-I-I don’t know,” Darnell said.

  ”The fuck you stuttering for?! What, you a retard or some shit—huh, huh?!” Kalif screamed. Will suggested that they bounce, but Kalif was having fun. And he even thought about taking them hostage to avenge his brother’s death.

  Renee, in tears, was bleeding from her mouth and ear. Kalif suddenly hit Darnell with the butt of the gun and bent down and grabbed Renee by the throat before punching her in the face again. Then he did the unspeakable: he pulled out his johnson and peed on her. Will was getting nervous now, and he was ready to leave.

  ”Tell your husband I’m about to piss all over his world,” Kalif said. He shook his dick, put it back inside his pants and zipped them. Will was calling him from down the hallway staircase now. He no longer doubted that Kalif was crazy or had a screw loose somewhere.

  Kalif spit in Darnell’s face and ran to the stairwell, taking three steps at a time. He got in the Durango and Will dropped him off at Lincoln Projects.

  Will tried to act normal when he went back to work. He was hoping that nobody had called the cops. Even though he had maxed out, he still didn’t want any contact with the police.

  Will called BJ’s cell phone to let him know what had just gone down. Venus answered and told him she didn’t know where BJ’s cheating ass was. She told him what happened the night before and how she had thrown him out. She also explained that BJ’s phone had fallen out of his pocket during their fight, which was why she had answered it. Venus t
old Will that he might find BJ at Lincoln Hospital. And finally, she asked him if he knew Nette. Will lied and said he didn’t. He didn’t want to be in the middle of that bullshit. He told Venus he’d drop by and pick up BJ’s clothes. Venus told him there was no need because she shredded most of his shit and threw the rest of it in the dumpster. She’d take everything that was left and make a bonfire in the backyard with it. Will hung up and called Lincoln Hospital.

  The operator connected Will to BJ’s room. BJ told him how he had started to call Venus last night but changed his mind. Annette did some dirty shit with the phone and Venus had heard everything.

  ”Damn, son. Nette did you grimy, dog. But you dead to the wrong, though. Ain’t no way outta that one,” Will said, wondering how BJ had gotten caught up with such a grimy chick. BJ told him how Venus had flipped out and attacked him with a frying pan and let the dogs chew him up. They both started laughing, and BJ admitted his defeat.

  Will informed BJ what Venus had done with his clothes. ”You serious? Yo, what’s wrong wit’ her?” BJ said. “Yo, she is bugged out. Bullet and Diamond was tearing my shit up, and Venus watched them get at me. Then the bitch got up and made a drink and watched some more. Finally, she called them off of me. Yo, she is fried.” Will and BJ continued laughing and joking about what had happened until Will told him he’d see him during visiting hours.

  They ended their call, and Will thought about Venus and what she had said to him over the phone. After hearing BJ’s version, he was convinced that Venus wasn’t fried; she was burnt like toast.

  BJ called Annette from the hospital bed and blasted her. She claimed that the phone must have come off the hook and she leaned on the redial button. She swore up and down that she hadn’t set him up by calling his house. BJ didn’t believe her one bit.

 

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