My Prerogative

  While setting up that afternoon, Samair and I had decided that a bachelorette party wasn’t complete without a lot of dancing and men to flirt with, but the games and “carnival” were meant for Ariel and her friends only. Therefore, the carnival was in the private room, but I’d decorated the rest of the nightclub with a few balloons and streamers so the women would feel free to roam without feeling like they’d left the party.

  The carnival theme had been a surprise to Ariel and her friends, and a huge hit. They’d walked into the private room earlier, been handed their goodie bags of erotic chocolates, a piece of lingerie (a set of sparkly pasties, a small thong, or a teeny-tiny nightie made from some shiny stretch material) and a throwaway camera—and their faces had lit up.

  “It’s so much more than I’d thought possible, Kelsey. I was expecting munchies, shooter specials, and some dancing. This is incredible,” Ariel had said, excitement and emotion bubbling over.

  The psychic had been set up in a corner with a gauzy canopy that made it look like a tent. A privacy screen separated the tent from the ringtoss game, where the women had to stand behind a line five feet from a slanted board sprouting three different sized rubber cocks. For two dollars the women got three rings to toss, with different prizes to win depending on which cock the rings landed on. Prizes varied from massage oils to sexy man calendars, silver bullet vibrators to Big Ben.

  Samair was manning the ringtoss game for me, and the money would go toward offsetting the cost of the prizes.

  Those covered the “talent” and “game” aspect of the carnival with the third one, the “ride” being set up in front of the one-way mirror that looked out into the nightclub’s dance floor.

  It was a pole, with Joey Kent giving pole dancing and sexy, stripper dance lessons to the ladies.

  “Everyone can dance,” Joey had said to the group. “Don’t worry about a thing ladies. I’m going to prove to you that if you just think sexy while you move, you’re going to feel sexy, and you’re going to be sexy!”

  The women had loved it, and from where I stood, it looked like everyone was having a night to remember.

  “You did a great job.”

  “Thanks.” I turned to smile at Lacey, who’d come to stand beside me and watch the crowd. “It was actually a lot of fun once I got into it. The food’s a hit too. It’s what brought the whole theme together.”

  The whole group had “oohed” and “ahhed” over the erotic ice sculpture of an entwined couple laid out over the table. It housed bottles of beer, coolers, wine, and at the end of it, a stash of chocolate-covered bananas.

  “The sandwiches aren’t really carnival food, but they’re better suited to the women than burgers and fries,” Lacey said with a small smile.

  She’d made a variety of healthy sandwiches to go along with the fruits and chocolates and mini donuts that served as munchies for the group—and in keeping with the theme of the bachelorette party, the sandwiches were cut in the shape of the male physique.

  I chuckled. “That’s for sure. But did you see the way that blonde bit the head off hers? She’s pissed at some guy for sure.”

  “She definitely has issues.”

  Don’t we all?

  I’d woken up feeling like shit that morning, and not because of the bottle of Stoli I’d opened. After my first drink, I’d done nothing more than hold the glass and wallow in my thoughts. I’d felt like shit because I’d seen Harlan’s silhouette in his window, and I hadn’t had the guts to call him. I’d been having a temper tantrum and a bout of self-pity, and he’d seen me. How attractive was that?

  Lacey spoke again, interrupting my thoughts. “Joey’s got your mom working the pole in the private room, and your sister is up in a cage shaking her ass. So why are you just standing here?”

  “Just taking it all in,” I said. “Making sure everyone is having a good time.”

  “You’re very good at this. Right down to getting Samair and me to donate for the goodie bags in exchange for letting us include brochures of our businesses.”

  I shrugged. “You guys helped me out by being so quick and flexible with things, why shouldn’t I try to help you promote your stuff?”

  Lacey nodded, a small smile playing at her soft lips. “Now’s not really the time for us to talk, but if you’re ever interested in a job as a party planner, I’d love for you to come by Ambrosia and see me.” She gave me another smile and walked away.

  Shock and pleasure washed over me in equal amounts. A job offer! Not that I was looking for a new job; I loved bartending, but it was a great feeling to know that I’d impressed a professional without even trying.

  I heard my name being called and I saw Lena waving at me from under the stairs. She was holding hands with a short dark-skinned guy in jeans and a button-up shirt—only the buttons were only done up halfway and he had some seriously ugly bling.

  “Having a good time?” I asked when I stood in front of them.

  “It’s wonderful!” Lena said with a grin. She introduced me to Joe, the guy standing next to her. “The bouncer won’t let me bring him into the private party.”

  I glanced at Chad, who was acting as doorman for the private room, keeping the public out so the party would remain private. He smiled, laughter at the drunken Lena and her pseudolatin lover companion clear in his eyes.

  I nodded. “One guest per woman is cool, Chad.”

  Lena squealed and hugged me before dragging her man into the room by the hand. I followed them into the room and snatched a beer from the ice bed before going to watch Joey teach my mom how to work the pole.

  I got there in time to see Mom slide down with her back against the pole, and then slither her way back up. When she stood again everyone around cheered as she threw back her head and laughed.

  “Looking hot,” I said when she came down off the stage to stand by my side.

  She brushed a lock of hair from her forehead and smiled serenely. “Thank you, dear.”

  We stood side by side for a few moments and the lack of conversation started to feel uncomfortable. I took a deep breath and made a conscious effort to relax my shoulders. That didn’t work so I took a long draw from my beer. That helped a bit.

  “Your sister is having a good time,” Mom said.

  From where we were standing we could see Ariel in the cage on the other side of the one-way mirror—dancing and laughing, tossing her hair and gyrating her hips. “I’m glad. I wasn’t sure she’d enjoy the club, but I figured the carnival thing would be fun either way.”

  “You did a great job with the party, Kelsey. I knew you would.”

  “Yeah, ’cause I know how to party, right?”

  Shit! As soon as the words were out of my mouth I gave myself a mental kick in the ass. All I needed was to get into it with my mother right there and then.

  But instead of snapping back, my mom turned to me and put her hand on my shoulder. “No. I knew you’d do a good job because I know you care enough about your sister to take care with all the details that make a party a success.”

  My surprise must’ve shown on my face because Mom smiled, her eyes a little sad. “I know I’m always after you about working in this place, but it’s only because I want the best for you. No matter how much you say you love it, there’s always been a sort of unhappiness in you.” She cocked her head to the side and studied me. “Something’s changed though, hasn’t it?”

  I swallowed the lump that had suddenly appeared in my throat. How did I answer that? Had something changed inside me?

  Before I could say anything, Mom leaned in to kiss my cheek. “I’ve had a good time, dear. But it’s late for me, and if I hurry home I’ll have a chance to show your father some of my new moves before he falls asleep.” She winked and sashayed away, hips swinging.

  Right then, a lightbulb went on so bright inside my head it about blinded me. I’d been feeling like shit all day because pride had kept me from calling Harlan. He’d done nothing wrong, and neither had I. Not really. S
o he saw me sitting out on my deck pouting, he’d seen me do worse. Sure, it made me feel hurt and vulnerable to know that Dee and I were drifting apart—I’d let her get closer to me than anyone in the past. But that was a long time ago. Max’s words had hit me that day in my kitchen, but I’d been thinking of Harlan at the time. Thinking that he’d come into my life when I needed him. But the words applied to Dee, and her easing out of my life as I needed her to.

  We’d been nothing more than surface friends for a while and it was time for me to let it go. I mean, how close could we be when I was scared to tell her how I’d met the man of my dreams? And it was time to admit it; Harlan was the man of my dreams.

  Was I really going to let a little embarrassment or pride get in the way of that?

  No fucking way.

  I dashed up to Val’s office and found the door closed. After using my own key to get in I sat behind his desk and dialed Harlan’s number from memory.

  “Hey stud,” I said when he answered on the third ring. “What are you doing tonight?”

  “Just relaxing with a movie. How’s the party?”

  Harlan’s reply had been smooth and casual, his voice warm . . . and I knew then that I was totally falling in love. The guy could’ve mentioned my lack of attendance at his place, or my stint on the deck and asked me what was up . . . but he didn’t.

  “The party is good, only one thing missing to make it great.”

  “Really? I’m surprised, your plans sounded pretty perfect when you told me about them. What did you forget?”

  “I forgot to invite you.”

  Harlan stood against the rail and watched from above as Kelsey moved among the writhing bodies on the dance floor. She’d sounded great when she’d called, and she looked even better as she did a sensual bump and grind against her dance partner.

  She was dancing with a big black guy. Solid muscles and smooth moves described him to a T. Her pale hand rested against the back of his neck, their foreheads touched, and their bodies moved together as if they were naked. Harlan’s blood heated and his pulse sped up. Christ, they looked hot!

  He wondered if the guy would be interested in posing with Kelsey, for him. In that moment he realized he loved to watch her almost as much as he loved to touch her.

  “You must be Harlan.”

  Tearing his gaze away from the dancing Kelsey, Harlan gave the man standing next to him the once-over. Tall and solid with dark hair and skin, the guy looked like someone who knew how to take care of himself.

  “Yes, I am,” he answered. “And you must be Val.”

  There was no reaction in the other man’s dark eyes and Harlan bit back a smile. This guy was definitely a guard dog. Might as well get this over with, he thought as his pulse jumped and his own instincts came to the fore.

  “I’m in love with Kelsey, and I’d never hurt her,” Harlan said, looking Val straight in the eye. “But beyond that, what happens between us is our business, not yours.”

  Val was silent for a moment, staring at him. Harlan waited. He’d respect the man’s protective urges—to a point.

  Finally, Val nodded and held out his hand. “As long as you don’t hurt her, we’ll get along fine.”

  Harlan shook his hand and they turned as one to look at the crowd below them. There was still a bit of tension there, and it would probably be there for a while. But he wouldn’t let it bother him.

  He watched as Kelsey spun in her partner’s arms. With her back against his chest, she slithered down his body, rubbing and bumping her ass back against his groin as she stood again. Harlan’s chest tightened and his cock hardened.

  Whatever had been bothering her the night before was gone for now, and he was glad. It had been the hardest thing to not go to her when she’d been out on her deck, but he knew she was strong. And he knew she’d not have welcomed his interference in what she still thought of as her own problems.

  It would take time for her to completely trust him, and that was okay. He had all the time in the word when it came to waiting for her.

  As if she sensed his eyes on her, Kelsey turned her head and looked directly up at him. Her eyes brightened and she ground her hips against her dance partner deliberately.

  Harlan smiled, enjoying the tease. She grinned up at him, then kissed her partner’s cheek before leaving the dance floor and making her way to him.

  “You seem to be good for her,” Val said as they watched Kelsey make her way up the stairs. “Keep it that way.”

  Val stepped around Harlan and intercepted Kelsey with a few words before continuing on without looking at Harlan again.

  “You made it,” Kelsey said when she stopped in front of him. “You going to come down and join the party, or hang out up here and watch all night?”

  “I’m not really in the mood for watching tonight. I think I’ll join in.”

  Their eyes met and Harlan tilted his head, his next words slipping out. “You okay?”

  Kelsey’s eyes softened and her cheeks flushed a bit. “Yeah, I was just having some issues last night.”

  “We all have issues.”

  “True,” she said with a small smile. “So what are yours?”

  He fought a grin. She was damn quick. “Nothing too bad. Right now I’d say my main one is that I’m falling in love with the most amazing woman, and I’m having a hard time keeping my hands off her.”

  “Kelsey, baby!” A good-looking blond guy grabbed her from behind in a hug and spun her around to plant a kiss on her lips.

  Randy!” I smacked him in the chest and stepped back hast-ily.

  “What? I haven’t seen you in a while and here you are, out from behind the bar. How could I resist?”

  Shit. I glanced at Harlan, my heart pounding, and panic rising. The timing couldn’t have been any worse. My dream man just admitted he was falling in love with me, and not only had he just watched me dirty dance with one guy, but then a man he’d watched me play slightly kinky sex games with literally grabs me away!

  “You’re supposed to control yourself and act like a man in a bar, not a grabby schoolkid with a squeeze toy,” I said before disentangling myself from his arms and stepping back beside Harlan. “Now go play with someone else for a while and I’ll talk to you in a bit.”

  Randy looked at Harlan, then at me, a slow grin spreading across his handsome face. He leaned forward to kiss my cheek and spoke softly. “Yes, mistress.”

  I watched Randy walk away, dread knotting in my belly. Did Harlan recognize Randy from that day in my apartment?

  “Kelsey—”

  I turned to Harlan and talked fast, interrupting him before he could take back any of what he’d already said. “He’s just a casual lover, Harlan. I was getting tired of one-night stands, and of being alone. He’s a nice guy with a bit of a kink streak. He’s not anyone important and I’m not going to see him again.” I looked up at Harlan and managed to keep my hands off him only by clasping them together and holding tight. “I’ve always dreamt of finding a man like you. A guy who sees beyond the flirting and . . . and well, the fact that I love sex and—”

  “Hush, Kelsey,” Harlan said, putting his hands on my shoulders and giving me a small shake. “It’s okay. I know you had a life before me, and I don’t expect you to change. I don’t mind if you fuck someone else, especially if I can watch.” He leaned close and stared deep into my eyes. “But I do mind if you love someone else.”

  My heart stopped, then swelled and kick-started again, thumping against my ribs with a fervor that couldn’t be denied. Here was a man who knew me. Who knew my secrets, without me even telling him. Yet, he looked at me with desire and admiration. The emotion in his eyes fed the beast inside me and filled the hole I thought could never be filled.

  It wasn’t a darkness inside me, it was an emptiness. The drinking and sex had filled the hole, but the effects never lasted because the feel-good high always evaporated. It wasn’t real. But Harlan was real. What he offered me was real.

  “Only you
,” I promised as I wrapped my arms around his neck and held on tight.

  Dear Reader:

  “Losing It” is a short story I wrote a couple of years ago that was previously published by Amber Quill Press. I had great fun with Lacey and Matt and they continue to lurk in the back of my mind. When I was writing Trouble and an event in the story needed catering, Lacey and her catering company Ambrosia came to mind. This happened once again in My Prerogative, and I thought you all might enjoy getting to see a bit more of Lacey Morgan, so I’ve included the short story here for your reading pleasure.

  Enjoy,

  Sasha White

  LOSING IT

  BY SASHA WHITE

  Lacey Morgan hefted the box of linens higher on her hip and sucked in a deep breath before pressing a manicured fingertip to the doorbell. This was it, her first catering job on her own. Only it wasn’t just catering the food; she was getting paid extra to plan the whole party. Lord, she hoped she didn’t bite off more than she could chew.

  The heavy oak door swung open. Lacey’s tension kicked up a notch when Matt McAllister’s grinning face appeared before her. He looked even better in person than he did in the photos on his sister Rebecca’s walls. How was she supposed to concentrate on business when just being near her friend’s brother ramped up her hormones?

  “You’re early.”

  Refusing to let him see her nervousness, she smiled back and shrugged nonchalantly. “I wanted to have everything set up. I’ll have only one assistant tonight to make sure the entertainment goes smoothly, so that means getting more done before everyone gets here.”

  He stepped back and opened the door wider. “Come on in.” With his blue eyes twinkling naughtily at her, he pumped her for information. “And what is the entertainment tonight?”

  She shook her head before breezing past him in search of the kitchen. “We made a deal. I don’t have to tell you what I have planned, and you don’t have to pay me until the night’s over, and then, only if you’re completely happy with the party.”