by Jen Silver
“Are you okay?” she asked, pulling back from their kiss.
“My brother’s here. He’s just had some bad news.”
“Oh. I brought some sandwiches for us. Do you think he will want to stay for lunch?”
“No. Maybe some other time.”
Camila followed Dani through to the garden. Brian was walking back from the river’s edge, head down. He looked up when he reached them.
“Oh, hi.” He gave Camila a bleak smile. “Sorry, I can’t stay.”
He set the table back on its legs and placed the empty can on it. “I’ll see myself out,” he said as he passed Dani without looking at her.
“What happened?” Camila could see that Dani was upset by his abrupt departure.
“Oh, just some home truths he will find hard to accept. I think he knows it’s true, but he’s closed his eyes to it for a long time.”
“What kind of home truths?”
Dani looked away from her and Camila wondered if she would answer.
“Please, Dani. I don’t want us to have any secrets from each other.”
“My father abused me, but Brian idolised him. And now I’ve told him why I ran away from home, because I think his daughter is being groomed by his wife’s new boyfriend.”
“Oh, Dani.” Camila moved closer and held on to her.
After a time, Dani pulled back and walked slowly down the path to the river. Camila kept pace with her. At the end there was a bench. When Dani sat, Camila joined her and reached for her hand.
“Can you tell me about it?” she asked softly, rubbing her fingers lightly over her arm.
Dani sighed and gazed at the river. Two single sculls passed by quickly. The rowers looked like they were engaged in a race. Her eyes still fixed on the scene in front of her, Dani finally started to speak.
“I think I told you I left home at sixteen. My father wasn’t happy with my lack of interest in boys. After months of innuendos, groping me whenever he got the chance, he finally decided the time had come to show me what I needed. I don’t know why he thought I would just let him fuck me. He was grinning as he unzipped his trousers, no doubt expecting me to be thrilled at the sight of his erect dick. I kicked him as hard as I could in the groin, and while he was doubled over, I grabbed his wallet and my backpack and legged it. When I was a good distance from the house, I removed the cash and chucked the wallet over a hedge. Luckily it was a payday and he hadn’t stopped in the pub before coming home.”
Camila squeezed her knee.
“Why did I take my backpack?” Dani was still gazing into the far distance. “It contained the only thing worth having from that house. My sketchpad and pencils. Anyway, I used some of Dad’s money to buy a train ticket to London. And the streets weren’t paved with gold as in the fairytale. But I met my Puss in Boots, if you like. My third night wandering, looking for a place to bed down where I wouldn’t be disturbed, Mistress Bea found me huddled on the steps outside her apartment building. I’d run out of money by then and hadn’t eaten for a day or two.”
Dani looked at Camila then and gave a small smile. “I never knew her real name. She took me in. Gave me room and board, paid for my college tuition fees.”
“What did she want in return?” Camila wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the answer.
“Not a lot. Hard to believe, I know. Sounds like a real fairy story, the tart with a heart. Mainly she wanted an escort, someone who wasn’t one of her punters. I got my hair cut short and wore men’s suits and passed well enough for her to introduce me as her son. We went to see all the latest plays in the West End. We ate in the best restaurants where she educated me on which wines to order. I had really landed on my feet.
“One day she found me in what she referred to as her playroom—I really do know what a tart’s boudoir looks like—swishing one of the canes she had hanging on the wall. She sat me down and we had ‘the talk’. You know, the one mothers are supposed to have with their daughters. My mother hadn’t told me anything. I had to find out from a school friend what to do when my first period started. Anyway, Mistress Bea managed to discover what my preferences were, something I had never voiced to anyone before.”
“Did she…?” Camila couldn’t say the words. She didn’t want to visualise this older woman taking advantage of a vulnerable youngster.
Dani picked up Camila’s hand and kissed her palm. “No, she didn’t. As I said, she really was like a mother to me. After my confession, she said if that’s what I wanted, she could introduce me to a young woman who was just starting out in the business.”
“And that would be Lisa?”
Dani stared into her eyes. “Carl told you about her, didn’t he?”
“Yes, he said she was something you had in common. Are you in love with her?”
“No! It’s an arrangement. We grew up together, if you like. Grew into our respective roles. It’s a mutual thing, but it’s not love.”
Camila looked away from Dani’s pleading gaze. She recalled Eric’s words from the meeting in his office after the return from Strasbourg; “I like to think of SM as sensuality and mutuality.” She could understand the sensuality part; her senses were on fire whenever she was with Dani. The mutuality was still evading her.
“Do you keep in touch with the woman who took you in, this Mistress Bea?”
“Up until she died, yes.” Dani took Camila’s hand in hers. “You have to understand, living with Bea was the best thing that could have happened to me.”
“But you’ve had no contact with your family since you left home, apart from your brother.”
“No, and we only reconnected by accident. I took part in a student demo and got hauled off to the cop shop along with some others. He recognised me and pulled me out before my name could go on the charge sheet.” Dani gave her a tentative smile. “All this talking has made me thirsty.”
“Me too. And I brought lunch.”
†
They walked back up to the house in silence. Dani hoped she hadn’t said too much. But so far, Camila hadn’t pushed her away. Somehow it hadn’t been as hard as she’d thought it would be. She’d never felt secure enough with any of her other lovers to talk about her past. But everything felt different with Camila.
While Camila went into the kitchen to get the drinks and the sandwiches she had brought, Dani fetched the two cushioned loungers out of her storage area and placed them on the patio.
She wasn’t unduly worried about Brian’s reaction to her revelation. His cop’s instincts would kick in when he calmed down. She wouldn’t have been able to forgive herself if anything happened to her nieces because she had been afraid to tell him what kind of man their father really was. Brian would do whatever was necessary to protect his daughters, she was sure of that.
Camila arrived with the sandwiches on plates, a cool-looking glass of gin and tonic for herself, and another can of beer for Dani. She set them on the low table Dani had placed between the loungers.
They ate in silence, and when Dani looked across at Camila, she was lying back with her eyes closed.
“Camila, seeing as we’re not having any secrets, tell me about Allison.”
Her lover’s eyes snapped open and she turned to look at her.
“What do you want to know?”
“How did she die?” Dani lay on her side, head propped on one hand.
“She was killed at work, stabbed by a patient. I didn’t know about it until two police officers knocked on my door.” She swallowed, hard.
Dani nodded. Brian had told her of times as a junior officer when he had to deliver death notices.
“I hardly had time to take in what they were telling me before her parents turned up at the flat demanding access to her things. They knew we lived together, but it was only when they looked around our living space that they realised we were more than just friends. One bedroom, one bed. They cut me off after that. Didn’t want me at the funeral.”
Dani absorbed this information. Camila wasn’t
looking at her, but she could see the sadness in her face.
“They took her ashes. I have no idea what they did with them. I think that was the hardest thing to bear, not having a place to mourn, a graveside to visit. That, and not having the chance to say goodbye.”
Camila took a large gulp of her drink and stared at the river. Dani drank some of her beer and let the peace of the garden wash over them.
After a time, she asked the other question that had been bothering her. “And Chris is the only woman you’ve been with since?”
“Yes, but it wasn’t something I really wanted. Just looking for comfort, I guess.”
“It obviously meant a bit more to Chris.”
Camila sighed and turned towards her. “Can we talk about something more cheerful? How about you tell me how you’ve managed to hide your DBS activity from Gordon.”
“You find that a cheerful topic?”
“Yes, of course. If it involves numbers. I find accounting uplifting.”
Dani grinned at her. “You’re weird, you know that?”
“Each to their own. So come on. Spill the beans.”
“Easy. It would never occur to Gordon that I could do anything other than draw pretty pictures.”
“Are you going to enlighten him?”
“Depends. If he is serious about wanting to stay together. He’s taken a step in the right direction by getting rid of his bit of fluff on the side, Maria.”
“Bit of fluff? Is that what I am, Dani?”
Dani stood and offered her hand to help Camila to her feet. “You are not a bit of fluff. Come on, I think we need to take this inside.”
“Take what inside?”
“What I’m going to do to you to hear you scream out my name.”
Camila readily followed her into the house and up the stairs to the bedroom.
Chapter Twenty-one
Monday had come round too soon, as far as Dani was concerned. It had been another intense weekend of lovemaking. Camila had gone back to her flat for a few hours on Sunday morning to do some work; she said she couldn’t concentrate with Dani anywhere in the vicinity. She had a fax waiting for her and several phone messages from Eric telling her she had to go to Madrid on a Monday afternoon flight. So the rest of Sunday had passed in a blur. But at least Dani had remembered to place the order for a special delivery while Camila was out. She smiled at the thought of how the unsuspecting recipient might receive it.
The events of Friday’s party receded into the background. Camila had made a joke of wanting to meet some of Dani’s friends to see if she could do similar damage to anyone’s relationship. Dani reminded her that most of the people she knew would just enjoy a good fight.
They’d had a more in-depth discussion on Sunday morning about whether or not she and Gordon were going to separate or stay together. Camila suggested that if they decided on the latter, they needed to get Annette to draw up a proper business agreement.
Dani said she would think about it. Now, in the office and facing four days of withdrawal from Camila, she did do some deeper thinking. Tempting as it was to try to go it alone, she didn’t really want the hassle of managing the marketing and business side of things. She rang Gordon and asked him to meet her in the pub across the road.
He was already there when she arrived; he had bought her a drink. “So what is this, no lawyers?”
Dani sat and took a sip of the beer before replying. “I think we’ve scored our points. My heart’s not really in it.”
He smiled. “Is it business as usual, then?”
“Sort of,” she said. He raised an eyebrow. “I mean, how long will it last if you’re going to jump every time Melissa pulls your chain?”
“That’s not going to happen.”
“You don’t mind working with a ‘fucking pervert’?”
“No. I’m used to you.”
“There’s something else you need to know.”
“Dani, I’m not that interested in your private life, although it was a bit of a shock to find out you really are seeing Redmond’s financial director. Hell, I’ll never be able to look Ms Callaghan in the eye again! On top of that I discover you’re good mates with Eric and Carl Redmond. You haven’t seriously considered joining them, have you?”
“No, although Eric has made me a number of offers. You see, I’ve actually been doing work for them for a long time. They subcontract to me sometimes. I have a business under another name, DBS.”
Gordon looked like he had swallowed a piece of glass. “Shit, Dani! I can’t believe it! And you were threatening me with looking into my finances?”
“Yeah, well. I was just rattling your cage.”
“Jeez! It worked.”
Dani sipped her beer and watched his face as he absorbed this shock. Setting her glass back down, she said, “Okay, here’s the deal. I wind up the DBS business. We have our solicitors do a proper agreement and we get on with doing what we’re good at, together.”
“Right.” He breathed out a huge sigh of relief. “I’ve been thinking too. I’m going to sell the yacht and the timeshare in Portugal. I want to put the money towards upgrading our computer system. Since you’re such good buddies, do you think Carl Redmond would work up a spec for us?”
Dani smiled. “I’m sure he would.” She raised her glass. “To our partnership.”
They clinked their glasses together and drank.
“Better go and tell the troops,” he said, not bothering to disguise his relief.
“Yeah. Oh, and we’ve got a new client to meet this afternoon. Quoting for a brochure, but it sounds like they could do with some point of sale as well.”
“Excellent.” He finished his beer. “Are you going to tell me how you got that shiner?”
“No, but our new client might. She was there when it happened.”
“Oh. She’s not…you know…into things, like you?”
“Not that I know of.” She winked at him with her good eye. “But looks can be deceiving.”
†
Camila finished putting the documents she needed into her briefcase. She had already checked and double-checked she had her passport. Eric handed her a walletful of pesetas. She knew he had a range of European currencies in his office safe. He was looking forward to the day when there would be a single currency throughout Europe, but she privately thought that was a long way off and she hoped the UK would stay out of it. She had welcomed the Black Wednesday of the year before when the government was forced to withdraw the pound out of the European Exchange Rate Mechanism. To her mind, it demonstrated the weakness of the whole idea.
She walked through to Reception to collect her case. The taxi was already waiting. Someone was shouting at the beleaguered-looking receptionist who was holding her hands in front of herself in a defensive pose. With a shock, Camila saw that the person causing the girl distress was Chris.
“What’s going on?” she asked, keeping her voice level.
Chris turned. “Oh good. I asked to see you and she said it wasn’t possible.”
“I’m on my way to the airport, so she’s absolutely right.” Camila smiled at the girl who promptly wheeled her suitcase out from behind the desk. “Let’s take this outside.”
She walked out through the main doors of the building.
“What do you think you’re playing at? Haven’t you caused enough trouble?” Outside, in the clear light of day, Camila could see the bruising around Chris’s taped-up nose.
“Oh, and I suppose none of it’s your fault. You did this to me.” Chris pointed to her face. “And now Debs has kicked me out.”
“About time too, I should think.”
“Don’t come all high and mighty with me. You were a willing partner.”
“I think it was exactly twice and more than two years ago.” Camila moved towards the taxi waiting at the kerb. “Why are you here, Chris?”
“I thought you could put me up at your flat. I know you’ve got an extra bedroom.”
“I
heard you were staying at that other woman’s place. The PE teacher.”
“It’s little more than a bedsit. I can’t stay there for long.”
“I guess you’ll have to go the YWCA or something.”
“You really are a hard-hearted bitch, aren’t you?”
“So I’m told.”
“Okay.” Chris raised her voice again. “I’ll just go back in there and tell your boss you’re shacked up with that piece of shit, Dani What’s-her-name.”
Camila smiled as she opened the taxi door. “You do that. I’m sure he’ll be happy to have you bad-mouthing one of his friends. Goodbye, Chris.” She climbed into the back of the cab and didn’t look back as it pulled out into the traffic. Her heartbeat slowly returned to normal as the taxi turned the corner. She checked her watch and thought there was just time. Leaning forward, she asked the driver to make a detour to the MBE offices.
†
Dani had refused to tell Gordon where they were going and he’d given up trying to guess by the time the taxi was crossing Blackfriars Bridge.
“I had lunch somewhere around here once. The Tall House, that was the name. It looked like those houses you see in Amsterdam along the canals. Squeezed like a tube of toothpaste. Speaking of toothpaste, I’m not sure the client’s going to like what you’ve done. Still, I guess you know what’s best.”
He knew he was babbling. But the knowledge that their partnership was intact had lifted a weight off his chest. With that and the fact Dani’s solicitor would no longer be probing into his financial dealings, he felt quite light-headed.
The taxi stopped on an unfamiliar side street and they climbed out. The fare would go on their account, but Gordon passed the driver some coins for a tip. When the taxi had driven off, he looked at the sign on the building. VidScreen, suppliers of video walls for corporate events, concerts, multimedia of all descriptions.
“Damn, Dani. You are a sly one. I’ve tried to get something out of this lot for years.”