‘Bye, everyone…see you soon…I love you, Frankie. Take care of her and the baby, Alex.’ I offered a confident wave in their direction and placed the helmet on my head. It was the heaviest thing I had ever had on in my life, it was almost too claustrophobic to cope with, and I hoped that the feelings it was conjuring up inside me would pass soon. After pulling my own strap tight, I wiggled forward doing as I was told and making sure I was as tight to him as possible. I leant forward, wrapped my leather-clad arms around him and held on tight, I could feel his broad muscular back flex as he sorted the bike out. His bike leathers had the spicy sandalwood smell to them and a musk that was pure Nathan. It was such a relief to be this close to him, I felt like crying. I had missed him so much… but I had to remind myself he wasn’t mine to miss; and he wasn’t mine to touch or hold on to, much as I wanted him to be. He was, whatever he said, back with Candy and I knew I was going to have to tell myself that on a regular bloody basis.
‘God I’ve missed you,’ I whispered into the confines of the helmet. My voice disappeared into the padded confines and I shut my eyes momentarily
‘That’s good to hear, darlin… good to hear, because I’ve missed you too,’ I heard in reply, as it vibrated around the inside of my helmet.
WTF?
The bike started to pull gently away as I physically sat bolt upright and in doing so, peeled myself away from his body.
‘Hold on to me… NOW!’ he shouted out. I quickly replaced my arms around his torso.
‘You could have told me!’ I exclaimed into the helmet.
‘Yeah… I could have, darlin… The lids have bluetooth, so we can keep in communication with each other… OK?’ He ended the statement with a laugh that filtered all the way down to my core. The bike picked up speed as the gates opened to the road. I looked back once, to see the distant figures waving us goodbye.
BELLA
The first few miles were utterly terrifying, but equally exhilarating at the same time. Yes, I had been asked to hold on to him tightly, but to be quite honest in my absolute terror I would have done so anyway. I was used to being at least six-feet wide and surrounded by metal casing. I knew he hadn’t yet opened up the bike. Just going around corners and bends in the road brought us scarily close to the tarmac and so far I had only done one bend with my eyes open. It had been bloody alarming and I knew that I was definitely holding on tighter than necessary. It was probably equally difficult for Nate. He wanted me to hold on properly, but trying to control the beast of a machine with a fully grown limpet on your back, must have been more than challenging. With this thought, I tried to release the ridiculously smothering death grip I had on him.
‘That’s it, darlin… take a deep breath and just let your limbs relax into the hold. We’ve got a hell of a long road trip in front of us and you need to relax into me and the movement of the bike,’ his deep rasping voice filtered through to me.
I let his voice wash over me, as I attempted to communicate with all of my now nearly frozen limbs. They were so rigid, as if rigor mortis had already set in. I knew just by trying to move them that the whole of my body would be beyond painful later.
I had to complete at least seven days of this? I was never going to make it.
After the initial surprise of Nathan being able to hear anything I said, the communication in the helmets had proved to be invaluable. Nathan had explained that this, our first day on the road, was going to be roughly six hours’ worth of riding. I was normally a very animated person when trying to get over my thoughts and feelings, but in this precarious position I had just slightly shaken my head in disbelief.
The plan apparently was to get from the Hamptons, through New York and out to Pennsylvania, stopping in a motel the other side of Chambersburg. I managed to at least open my eyes as we passed through New York and let out an audible sigh. I loved New York.
‘We’ll be back, one day soon… we’ll be back, I promise ya.’ Nathan must have let go of the handlebar to pat me reassuringly on the top of my thigh. Of course, it had a completely different effect on me and I closed my eyes once again to compose myself. His touch both set my body on fire and scared me, as I knew he now had only one hand controlling the machine. However, what really shocked me was the fact that I even found that a turn on, it must have been the element of risk he took in touching me.
I became aware of a pulsing sound in my ears and Nathan responded with, ‘Speak,’ and a low rumbling laugh, that I felt vibrating all the way through his body and into mine.
Edwards’ voice filled my helmet, almost as if he was riding on the bike with us.
‘Nathan… I’m calling to let you know, so far my sources report the Antonescus haven’t flown in to any of the airports we’re watching, but I am getting reports that it’s possible Marku Antonescu, Ioan’s father, has a cousin that already lives over here. Can Bella hear this conversation, Nathan?’
‘I’m here, Edwards,’ I spoke hesitantly.
‘Any idea of whether that’s true, Bella?’ he gently questioned.
‘I believe it is… I can’t remember names… I can just remember conversations that I wasn’t really supposed to be a party to. Just bits and pieces of talk from nearly ten years ago, that they had relatives over here.’ My somewhat relaxed grip on Nathan increased a little with the memories.
‘We’re already looking into it. Can you remember what state they lived in? I know it’s a long time ago.’
‘That I do know… it was Florida.’ It came flooding back to me now. ‘Ioan had always told me that when we got married we would spend our honeymoon in Florida.’ I shuddered with the feelings this simple conversation evoked within me. Nathan stiffened somewhat in my hold.
‘Got that. Anything going on that we need to know about, Nate?’ Edwards replied.
‘No it’s all quiet, so far,’ Nathan answered, his playful relaxed tone had dissipated.
‘That’s good… you’re about an hour from your scheduled pit stop, I’ll catch up with you there.’ With that Edwards was gone and the void around my head filled with the gloomy oppression of silence and the misery of my memories.
The bike was pulling over, I could feel the change in the gearing as Nathan began to slow the bike down.
‘What’s going on?’ I asked.
‘You need a break,’ he countered.
‘Are we allowed to pull over here? The bike hasn’t broken has it?’
He didn’t answer, as the bike came to a complete standstill.
‘Wait until I put my feet down on the ground… got that, Bella?’
The bike stopped dead and I realised that I had been starting to almost enjoy the power of the bike between my thighs and the closeness of the man I had been holding in my arms. I felt Nathan begin to shift and heard his leathers abrading the leather of the bike seat.
‘Jump off on the side of the interstate that’s away from traffic.’
I did as he asked, surprised at the first feel of my slightly wobbly legs underneath me. My inner thighs were worse though and a fleeting understanding ran through my head of why John Wayne always appeared to walk with a splayed gait.
God I was going to be sore and bruised tonight, and not in a good way.
My thoughts and the small smile on my lips were rudely interrupted as Nathan stepped into my personal space. He had already expertly removed his helmet. I looked up through the visor of what I was certain was my bloody comeuppance of a torture device. His hands found their way to the straps situated beneath my chin and I took a sharp intake of breath as his rough tattooed hands came into contact with the exposed skin at the top of my jacket. In an almost immediate reaction, my hands flew up to his. I was bloody adamant that I was able to release my own straps and I didn’t need his help, especially if it meant him actually having to touch me. The moment my hands found his in my silent refusal of help, he wrenched his away and slapped both of my hands down and out of his way.
‘YOU CAN FUCKING STOP THAT. I will help you when it’s
necessary… you got that?’ I heard him shout over the grumble of the passing traffic. I let out a small sigh that only succeeded in slightly fogging up the inside of my visor.
It was with a huge sense of relief that I felt the weight of the helmet lift off my head. I closed my eyes, allowed my head to lean back slightly and shook out my blonde hair. It felt so good to be unconfined and to feel the cool breeze on my skin.
I heard the hiss leave his parted lips as he took in the sight of me, at the same time his mouth collided with mine. The tongue that would have previously licked and nipped at the seal of my lips, until I gave it permission to enter, probed and pushed forward. It forced its way into my mouth, making me gasp into his. Which only fuelled his sudden invasion as he took without asking, exactly what he wanted. I was about to attempt to show my absolute disgust at his intrusion, by clouting the tops of his arms, when I felt one of his hands press into the small of my back and pull me into his hard muscular body. His other hand came just as rapidly up and in one well-practised move, he wrapped the length of my long hair around his fist and held my head in the exact position he required. It was all I could do to remain standing. I felt my knees start to buckle as my conspirator’s body literally dissolved in his arms and automatically the hands that were just moments ago going to cause untold pain to his tri-ceps, came around his neck and I clung onto him for all I was worth, almost for dear life.
The sound of a horn coming from passing traffic was all it took to bring me back to my senses and I tore my traitorous mouth away from his and swallowed a cleansing breath. Nathan released his hold on my hair but not his command over my body. Both of his hands came up and held my head tightly in his large hands, his fingers linked together at the back of my neck, burning the skin where they touched. His calloused thumbs brushed over my jaw bone and he held me tight, breathing his permanently minty breath over my face.
‘You say you don’t fucking want me… you say it’s too late. But, darlin your body continually fucking tells me otherwise.’
I watched as the corners of his mouth lifted into the start of his lopsided smile and his dimples came out in all their glorious splendour. For a few brief moments his eyes sparkled back to life and it was wholly mesmerising. I started to close my eyes as I watched his mouth come back to me, in anticipation of feeling our connection again. My eyes flew open in surprise when I felt him gently kiss the tip of my nose, and then he relaxed his hold on me.
I felt bereft as he took the one step backwards to the bike and turned. I watched his back flex as he lifted his helmet up, readying himself by running his free hand through his mussed hair.
‘What the hell was that for?’ I shouted over the roar of the vehicles speeding past our illegal stopping point.
‘You needed a distraction, Bella… a distraction from the thoughts obviously fucking entering your head after the conversation we had with Edwards… and, darlin I was one happy sonofabitch to help you out.’
‘You’re back with Candy,’ I almost screamed in my frustration, ‘do you have no sense of loyalty?’ I watched as his body tensed in front of my eyes and he spun powerfully back to face me. ‘I’m sure she doesn’t appreciate you trying to fuck every female you come in to contact with.’
‘One time and one time only. I AM NOT WITH HER.’ He inhaled a deep breath and allowed his head to hang whilst he composed himself. When his eyes came up to meet mine again I could read the anger in them, as easily as reading a child’s picture book. ‘I have never BEEN with Candy… sure I’ve fucked her… but I have never “been” with her.’
I crossed my arms over my chest and allowed my head to lean to one side. I offered Nathan my “yeah, sure” look.
‘Right, OK, you’re back fucking her again. Let’s get one thing straight, I don’t have anyone’s sloppy seconds.’ I lifted my arms and forcibly placed my helmet on top of my head once again. Closing my eyes as it came back down, I squeezed all of the claustrophobic feelings and memories it conjured up out of my mind. I was strong and I would deal with all of this crap in my life. Assuredly, I took a step forward and remounted the bike in front of me that was already being expertly straddled by the man I loved and hated in equal measure.
His voice came over the speaker.
‘Talking of sloppy… I can’t feel the heat of your cunt, darlin… shift forward, you’re not close enough.’ His cocky laughter filled my head. He was right though, that one kiss had completely soaked my knickers.
NATHAN
Riding a bike with a rock hard dick, was not to be fucking recommended!
What the fuck?
I knew I deserved it, but now I was back on the bike I couldn’t adjust myself to make it more comfortable, not without informing everyone and his wife that drove past that I was good to ride more than the machine I was now straddling. I managed to swallow down the laugh that was threatening to rise up from deep within me. I could feel her behind me wiggling, trying to shift herself further forward.
I just couldn’t fucking help myself, could I?
I knew she couldn’t really get any closer, but it sure was as hot as hell to feel her trying. With that thought my dick pulsed and flexed again, straining and pushing himself up to the waistband of my boxers. I let out a deep sigh.
In short, I knew I was fucking with her, but I couldn’t help myself. I was trying to get us back to where we once were.
If that was even possible? It was probably the worst fucking way to do it, but what the hell did I know?
I had always steered clear of relationships, even those within my own family. My childhood had done a fucking good job of convincing me that relationships, of any kind, weren’t for me. It had taken me a few fucked up years of releasing my anger on the world, through my addiction to racing, frequenting a few BDSM clubs and some other more harmful addictions, before I had reached back out to my siblings. Luckily for me, they had accepted me back with open arms.
“Do you have no sense of loyalty?” I had that question on fucking repeat, going around and around my extremely fucked up, damaged head. She couldn’t have asked a better, more fitting question to a selfish bastard like me. Instinctively I adjusted my wrist cuffs to a more comfortable place, casually brushing over the marred flesh underneath. I blinked my eyes several times, trying to erase the dark thoughts from my head.
She was wrapped around my back as tight as she could manage, her arms had come around me once again, and she was holding on to me for all she was worth. Glancing down at her hands I knew where I would’ve preferred to see her delicate, painted fingernails, and I goddamn knew exactly what I’d prefer for them to be gripped around.
I’d had a hell of a lot of sex in the six months since we’d seen each other. Call it another fucking addiction of mine. But it was as clear-cut as needing a shower every day, most days I needed the sense of release that comes with a good hard fuck. There were always willing girls hanging around the track, but I had a rule, I’d never have sex with anyone more than once. That way, there was never any fucking false hope of me giving them more than just my cock, fingers or tongue for more than the few hours that I was actually willing to loan them the fuck out. Some of the girls were clingier than others. I’d never dealt well with clinging, whining women, so when I’d had my fill of them, I’d shut the fuck down and become the heartless bastard I’d learnt very early on to be. It had become a standing joke with the guys at the track. I had a reputation, after it had been witnessed by Brock, my team manager, early one morning in my trailer, of literally building houses of cards and ignoring the girls until they finally got the fucking hint and left. Yep, I’d been the ultimate male slut. But then I met Bella, she had broken down all the walls I had fought so hard to build. I suppose the tables had been well and truly turned on their ass, she was my retribution, my punishment. As I couldn’t have her, I’d taken whatever the hell else I wanted. They didn’t come close, they didn’t come anywhere near her, not a single fucking one of them, they were just a means to an end.
&
nbsp; I started the engine and inhaled the smell of the gas as it came to life. The revs and subsequent vibration of the bike beneath my twisting grip calmed me, gave me a sense of well-being and I could feel my tense body begin to relax into the soothing rumble. Next to fucking sitting on a bike, riding fast was the best feeling in the world. I loved the buzz the speed gave me. It gave me control over my life, a life that hadn’t always been within my jurisdiction to control.
Fuck!
I wanted her back. The awareness had hit me like a fucking freight train, the moment I had ridden away from her back in the Hamptons. Those green strips of material she called a bikini, still haunted my dreams, whether I was awake or asleep. But I only wanted her on my terms.
All or fucking nothing.
I needed her to trust me with more than her life. I wanted her to trust me with the truth. I was demanding her to trust me with whatever it was she was so damned ashamed of. I wasn’t willing to have any more lies in my life, they broke people apart, they damaged others irrevocably. They had no place in my life, but she did, it was exactly where I wanted her to be.
I’d tried ignoring her, by allowing any time I spent with her to be on my terms only, hoping that I’d get her right out of my seriously impaired system. However, the moment she’d hurt herself and attempted to tell me what the hell had once happened to her, I was back. Like I’d fucking jumped feet first back into us. The fucking second she’d told me she loved me, I knew that was it, it was like she had never left. Candy’s arrival had been so badly fucking timed; you couldn’t have made that shit up. I was screwed, but not in the way I fucking wanted to be.
Inevitable Page 7