The silence in the small room was oppressive. The heightened sexual tension was making it difficult to breathe, at least with any regular depth. I was aware that I was fully exposed under foam that was beginning to dissipate with slow leisurely pops, because the bar of soap had slipped under the froth when Nathan had leant against the bath. From my relaxed position I could just make out the start of Nathan’s well-defined V and the base of his abs, from where his T-shirt had risen up, in the reflection of the full-length mirror. The bottom of the mirror was the only part that hadn’t steamed up.
‘What do ya need, darlin?’ His voice had deepened and developed a slight rasp to it.
‘I need you, Nathan… I need you to help me forget,’ the whisper left my lips.
I watched now out of my hooded eyes, as he stood and removed his T-shirt, pulling it up from the bottom and over his head in one quick movement. I watched mesmerized at the flex of his muscles and his longer hair as it flopped down over his face. He removed his metal cuffs and chain and placed them to the side of my head. It was only then that I realised, for the first time, they resembled handcuffs.
‘I want you to trust me, Bella? … right at this moment I’m not sure you do; we will have to work on that.’ He knelt down to the side of me and began to move the water with his hands. The few bubbles that were still visible began to part with the gentle movement of the water. The water played with my now burning skin, teasing and caressing me. I slowly began to close my eyes, losing myself in the power he had over me without even touching me. He had a scent of his very own. I could smell the very distinct musky aroma of Nathan, with the traces of his spicy sandalwood body wash.
The water stopped moving and my eyes flew open to meet his gaze, his eyes dilated with arousal.
‘You are the most beautiful woman I have ever had, Bella. You possess me in here.’ I watched as he brought his now wet hand up to his head to tap his temple, it then went straight to his hair and raked through it. If I ever had the luck to grow old with this man, I would never tire of watching him do that. It showed every feeling he had, in that one solitary movement. The same hand came back to my face as he traced the outline of my lips with one finger, my tongue flicked out involuntarily mimicking his movements. His finger then left my lips and moved down to my jaw bone, before his thumb and finger caught my chin to hold me still and his mouth came crashing down to mine. I could hear our mutual gasps and sighs as our mouths literally devoured each other’s.
‘I know what you need, darlin,’ he stated, as he pulled away. Leaving a small fissure between our lips.
Nathan’s hand went down under the warm water and immediately his long fingers found their way in between my legs. I in turn opened them at his touch. Expertly his fingers stroked my already swollen, slick folds and found almost instantly the bud he was searching for. He kissed me and stroked me until I found the release I so needed. I came, moaning into his mouth and bucking myself fervently into his hand. For those few, all too short, minutes I had lost myself to him. Not for the first time since our paths had crossed, I felt that losing myself with him, was like being found properly for the first time. I lifted my hands, that had been stroking my aching nipples, and grabbed onto his broad muscular shoulders, holding him as he leant over me. Nathan removed my previously injured hand and slowly brought it to his lips, as he kissed the remnants of the burn on my palm. His dilated eyes swept down my naked form and then he stared at my scraped shin. Our moment was broken.
‘How the hell did you get that?’ He demanded.
I bit into my bottom lip, under his questioning stare, then bestowed a fleeting smile at him. ‘I was escaping a certain ex of mine.’
I watched as he jumped up in one swift movement, back onto the balls of his feet.
‘I can’t believe he caused an injury like that!... I’ll fucking kill him!’ The anger that suddenly left his physique in waves, was palpable.
‘NATHAN… calm down, it’s not an old wound. I did it the day you arrived in the Hamptons and I ran up the balcony steps, it’s healing now and fading.’ His hands that had been clenched into fists opened up and delved abruptly into the water. He placed one hand under my knees and another under my back as he swung me up and out of the water, and into the cooler air, with ease. My wet cooling body came into contact with the warmth of his hard muscular chest, I clung to him like my life depended on prolonging the connection and I buried my head into the crook of his neck. His foot hooked through the gap in the door to open it and he stepped back, allowing the door to swing fully open. Cradling me tightly to his tattooed chest, we made our way back into the bedroom.
‘You didn’t think that through, did you?’ I smiled up at him. ‘I’m soaking wet and we don’t want to be in a wet bed all night, do we?’ Slowly he lowered my feet to the floor and grinned back at me. The previous anger in him had vanished and a smiling Nathan had been left behind. He slowly backed into the bathroom leaving me standing in his view. It was sensual, as though he couldn’t at that very moment in time tear his eyes away from me. He reached behind him and brought out a towel. Stepping back towards me, he wrapped me within the towel and his arms in one solid movement. I stood there like a child, being dried. I could only watch as he tended to me, allowing my gaze to take in everything that was new about his upper body. He had gained bulk and many extra tattoos in my absence, it seemed. I allowed my fingers to lightly brush over them, but my attention was pulled abruptly to a glimmer of silver. My fingers walked their way over to the barbell in his left nipple.
‘This is new,’ I stated out loud.
‘Yep… I have had some work done… some is visible… other work isn’t. Right you’re dry, here’s my T-shirt, get it on and jump into bed.’ The voice he used now was no longer full of lust, it appeared that moment had left us. Willingly I lowered his T-shirt down over my nakedness and clambered into the side of the bed furthest away from the door.
‘We’re going to make a goddamn pact, Bella. Each night when you fall asleep in my arms, and that’s the only place you will fall asleep, we are going to share one secret about ourselves, until you learn to trust me with whatever that fucking thing is that you are so afraid to say out loud.… The one thing I have learnt in the six long months we have been apart is that shame is a prison, if that’s what you let it become.…’
The last thing I felt, as I drifted off, was him pulling me into a spooning position, his leg wrapped over the top of mine and his head rested above mine. I felt warm and safe.
BELLA
The new day was bright against my closed eyelids. I realised the heat that I had felt radiating from Nathan all night long had left me, replaced by a mere warmth, he had obviously already got up and vacated the bed. I listened without moving, just trying to ascertain if he was still in the room, stupid really as I knew he wouldn’t be far away. My ears focussed on the sound of running water coming from behind the closed bathroom door. I stretched out as I rolled over onto my back. Every muscle from my arse downward ached and I winced the harder I stretched.
As I listened, I imagined the water cascading all over Nathan’s naked body. Familiar feelings of a different sort of ache crept into my core now. We had whenever possible shared showers in the morning, but that was before I had walked away and left him. I didn’t think it was something he would be particularly happy with at the moment. My thoughts went back to last night. I hated women like me, I knew he was seeing someone else and yet I had still let him touch me.
What the hell had I been thinking?
I hadn’t been thinking at all. Never had I willingly had any sexual contact with a guy who I knew was actually with someone else. Us women needed to stick together.
The shower tray had stopped creaking, but I could still hear the water running. It therefore appeared that Nathan had stopped moving. I focussed my hearing on the small space just ten feet away from where I lay. There it was, the unmistakable sound of Nathan groaning as he gave himself relief in the shower. My face flushed and
every nerve went immediately on a heightened alert. It was a sound I hadn’t heard for months. My core clenched involuntarily and I let out a deep sigh just as the bathroom door opened wide. Steam exited the small room first, followed by every woman’s wet dream. It was like a picture from a glossy magazine, the ones they pay thousands of pounds to stage. He came back into the bedroom only wearing fitted black boxers, with beads of water still glistening on his chest as he rubbed his hair dry with a small hand towel. I raised myself up onto my elbows just so I could take in the magnificent view in front of me.
‘Mornin, darlin…sleep well?’ he enquired, making his way over to his rucksack to find some more clothes.
Please be getting dressed.
It was almost as though he could feel my gaze boring into his back, as he spun around and smiled down at me. Or maybe it was because I hadn’t actually answered him, I was too busy reliving the noise I had just heard and realising I would do anything to hear that beautiful sound again, with him buried deep inside me. So much for “not doing unto others” and all that. I obviously wasn’t quite the strong feminist I had always thought I was.
‘Get used to hearing that in the morning… I know that’s why you haven’t managed to damn well string a coherent sentence together.’ I watched his face break out into his normal cocky grin as he stared at me. ‘There is no way I can goddamn hug you all night long, feel your tits brushing against my forearm with every inhale of breath you take, without needing to jerk off every morning.’ He bestowed a wink on me and turned back to his rucksack. ‘OK… I’m gonna need that T-shirt back. We need to get a move on… breakfast and then back on the road.’
I let out an involuntary groan as I slowly lowered my aching legs to the floor and stood up.
‘Bad, eh?’
‘As I’ve never ridden anything all day long before, I have nothing to gauge an answer on.’ I started to walk towards the bathroom door desperately needing a wee. Listening to his roar of laughter behind me, I knew that once again I had fallen into another great joke on me.
‘If you say so, darlin… if you say so,’ came the deep gravelly voice behind me. I turned in the doorway of the bathroom and quickly whipped off his T-shirt, chucking it at his laughing, gorgeous face and giving him a quick flash of the boobs he had always loved. That wiped the smile off his face and I fleetingly saw lust return to his eyes as I closed the door with a bang.
It appeared the joke was on me though, yet again, as after cleaning my teeth and having a wee I had to re-enter the bedroom wearing nothing but a smile.
Oh what the hell, I had never been shy about my body.
I strode out as if butter wouldn’t melt. I could see him out of my peripheral view, but paid him no attention and stood there butt naked in the middle of the room, emptying out the few pieces of clothing Aunty Jean had actually packed. I had meant to find myself some clean knickers, bra and T-shirt for the day as quickly as possible, but the sight that met my eyes as I emptied out the bag onto the the top of the crumpled, slept-in bedding, was enough to make me cry and laugh at the same time.
I had enough thongs and socks to last the week, but no bras other than the one I wore yesterday. There was a thin pair of ripped, cut-off shorts, one pair of pumps, a clean T-shirt for every day and a short cotton dress that really needed a particular bra to go with it, otherwise the girls would have to go loose and free. I shook my head and laughed out loud. I knew exactly what she had been up to. This was Aunty Jean’s idea of the skimpiest clothing she could find, to tempt the man she knew I loved.
What a wily, cunning lady she was?
A voice from the corner of the room broke through my thoughts.
‘If you want me to fucking throw you down on the bed and do exactly what I goddamn dreamed of all night, then you’re going the right way about it… Can I suggest you get some clothes on and NOW! A man only has so much fucking restraint.’
I looked over at him. Dressed in the creased T-shirt I had thrown at him, back in his leather trousers and boots, with more scruff on his face than I had ever seen before and a feral look in his eyes, he was gripping his phone so tight in one hand I thought it was possible it may fold under the strain. It took everything I had in me to not just stand there with my mouth gaping wide.
His mobile rang and broke the heated moment between us.
As he answered and his gaze left mine, I stepped into a thong and pulled on a T-shirt. Only having one bra meant it was now for emergency use only. My leather trousers were folded up on the table next to me and I pulled them on quickly. I stood with my arms crossed over my chest listening to his change in tone as he spoke to either Edwards or Alex, I couldn’t work out which.
‘Yeah I’m putting you on speaker now.’
Alex’s voice broke into our small, rundown motel room.
‘Morning, Bella. Frankie sends her love.’ I heard her shout out in the background “Love you, bestie” and I covered my mouth as I fought hard to hold back my tears.
‘Right, I’ve just explained to Nate… we have had, as yet unconfirmed reports that Marku Antonescu and at least two other men flew into Newark International about forty-five minutes ago. I say unconfirmed… Edwards is looking over the security footage. I would suggest, as you two seem to have been waylaid somehow this morning, you get underway now and grab some food later. Get as many miles away as you can. If it is them, we will have them tailed ASAP… OK?’
‘Yeah we hear ya, bro. Call us as soon as you have further info.’
We both said our goodbyes and I shoved my few bits of clothing into my rucksack, with my toiletries and hairbrush on top. We were good to go in less than five minutes. My light, happy feeling had gone, eaten away by that one phone call. A sense of absolute terror and dread ate away at my insides.
In trying to put my past to rest, I had brought it to the forefront of everybody else’s life. That was a bitter pill to swallow.
I ran a quote over and over in my head as I got back onto the bike.
“I am not what happened to me, I am who I choose to be.”
“I am not what happened to me, I am who I choose to be.”
We needed to get through this together. I was going to fight Candy tooth and nail for Nathan. He was everything I had always wanted and I wasn’t going to lay down and give up now. Since my brush with the Antonescus my life had been a battle and I was not going to let them beat me. No way in hell.
I got up close to Nathan and placed the claustrophobic helmet back on my head. The engine revved up beneath my thighs and I felt a sense of relief as we pulled away from the motel, and hopefully further away from my past.
BELLA
The vibration and rumble from the bike was somehow hypnotic and almost soothing. I craved the regular coordinated sounds, as Nathan revved and subsequently changed gear. They were the pacifying constant for my over anxious mind. My ears were relentlessly on alert, just waiting for the next call to come through.
Nathan was silent, I wasn’t sure where his mind was at. I needed him to concentrate on the road ahead, so I decided to let our peaceful companionship continue.
The morning was bright, so bright that we had been grateful for our visors to hide behind, as the sun was already reflecting off the road.
A constant pulsing sound suddenly broke through my daydreaming.
‘Speak,’ I heard Nathan use his normal retort.
‘It’s me, asshat,’ I heard Alex reply.
‘Yeah… sorry that’s how I normally answer and I’m not going to change it for my very old and boring brother, now am I?’ Nathan followed that up with a laugh.
‘Right, well when you’ve finished, fucker… I’ll be able to goddamn let you know what Edwards has found out, won’t I?’
‘I’ve zipped it… go for it.’
‘It was definitely Marku Antonescu. We think it was Ioan with him, but we’re still waiting for a positive ID on that. Unlike the rest of the world, for some reason he doesn’t seem to appear on social media… Hunte
r is trying to get hold of a copy of his passport as we speak, and the third man was Ioan’s younger brother.’
‘Petre?’ I interrupted their conversation in my disbelief. Disbelief that they had finally managed to suck Petre into their sordid dealings. Petre had been my saviour so many times. He was a quiet, thoughtful soul. It made me sick to the stomach to hear that he had been dragged into the whole sorry situation. Then the second thought hit me, it turned into a ball of worry immediately, making my stomach ache.
Maybe they had found out what he had done to help me?
Alex was talking again. I fought hard with my feelings of panic and guilt. I needed to pull myself together and concentrate very hard on what he was saying.
‘Bella? … Bella?’ I heard finally break through to me.
‘Sorry, I was just momentarily stunned… Petre isn’t like them… he helped me to get away. I’m scared that they have somehow found out and that’s why he’s been dragged over here with them… Oh my God… what will they do to him if they’ve discovered our secret?’ My stomach was turning over in fear, for the one friend I had made in the whole vile family. He was the only one in the very sick extended clan that could see what they were doing was not only illegal, but totally inhumane.
I needed to help. ‘Have you found a picture of Ioan?’ I questioned.
‘Still waiting, Bella… Why?’ I had interrupted a conversation between Nate and Alex, but Alex was on the ball. I think he could tell by my tone of voice that I needed to be heard.
‘If you can get a close up of the second guy’s face from the footage…’ a shudder ran through the length of my spine, ‘if it is Ioan, you will be able to see where…’ I hesitated for just a moment as I swallowed down the bile that was rising fast, up and into my mouth, ‘where I cut down the left side of his face… with his knife… he came at me when I confronted him with what I’d discovered his family were up to.’ I shook myself free of the past memories that had temporarily taken hold of my body and turned it cold, even though it was so warm in the sun. ‘He normally wears make-up to cover it, but I noticed when I went back that it was still visible.’
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