by Michael Kan
She approached and smiled, not wanting to confound or reject him, but to merely ask.
It was the question that Julian alone could only answer.
Alysdeon then reached for his hand, and squeezed it.
Julian didn’t really want to think about it, the question itself, so hard to answer. But deep down, he knew that she was right.
What did he want? Did it even really matter?
Reluctantly, he nodded, and watched as she slowly boarded the ship. She then left him, in the hopes that Julian, for once, could find an answer.
Looking back out to the field of grass, he sauntered away from the ship, and began to walk.
***
Remember Earth.
The words were printed on the poster, the papered fringes shredded and peeling off from the wall.
What was left of the text, was faded and parched. The rain water and time nearly stripping it all away. Stepping over broken brick, Julian glanced at the surviving poster, reading it again. He smirked, and knew he had seen this once before. The memory still there, and not lost in the least.
After walking for close to two hours, he had stumbled upon the poster, and the building it lay attached to, the dilapidated warehouse standing with the ruins. Julian then walked some more, examining the rest of the building, the structure vacant, along with everything else.
He looked away from the warehouse, and found only more broken brick and concrete. The abandoned settlement had fallen over; the wild grass was growing in its place. Noticing the stump of stone next to his feet, Julian sat himself down on it, his body slightly tired, his feet sore. Taking the back side of his hand, he flecked away the dirt from his shoes and pants, and wondered how far he had traveled.
Five miles. Probably a little more. He had crossed through the forest, and passed over a stream to reach it, whatever this place once was.
Gathering his surroundings, or the lack of it, Julian figured he had traveled far enough. The question was clouded with uncertainty. But his need to know was still there.
He had been thinking, searching.
“What do you want?” he asked, the words churning behind his breath.
Julian could easily apply the question to himself and ruminate. To fight. To end the war. And yet to survive it, and find that semblance of peace. They were all answers to the question. All things he wanted. Even as, maybe, he couldn’t achieve them.
But the more Julian thought of it, the more he realized he wasn’t just asking himself.
Closing his eyes, Julian found himself thinking of her. Pulled back to that moment. That memory, alive inside his mind.
“The choice is mine,” she had said. “Yes, this is what I want.”
He could see her now, inside the lab room, on board the trapped starship. Julian couldn’t recall everything, but she had been there, speaking to him.
“Listen, I understand if you want to stay,” he had said. “This is your home. More work needs to be done here.”
“No, no,” Arendi had replied, brushing back her black hair. “I’m coming with you.”
This had been weeks ago. Back on Earth. When she was still with him.
He had been trying to recollect it, something she had said, that only until now seemed so important.
“So I’ve made a backup and transferred a copy of my current state into his databanks,” she had explained. “Maybe one day he will understand.”
“A backup…?” he said to himself. “A copy saved into the databanks…”
It was just pieces to a passing dialogue, but more than enough to know that maybe, Arendi wasn’t truly gone.
Rising back to his feet, Julian opened his eyes
He could still hear her, and even see her. It was perhaps only his imagination. But it was what he wanted to feel.
Once, Julian had been given a second chance. And out of fear, he had tried to run away from it. In all likelihood, he would never fully recall who he was. But as he came to learn, that no longer mattered.
Thanks to the help of others, he had gained something close to recovery. A sympathy, and a purpose, replacing the pain and the loss.
As he already knew, Julian wasn’t alone. Nor was he broken person.
He just needed to believe again.
Thinking this, he began walking, and typing the coordinates into his comm-band.
He didn’t know if it was right. If Arendi would even want this. But at the very least, Julian wanted to try.
Sending the message off, he waited another moment, and eventually heard Alysdeon respond on the other end.
The Au-O’sanah was lifting off, and on course, to meet with him. Soon, they would leave his homeworld, but with the next mission already in his mind.
Once again, Julian thought back to that time and reminded himself.
“We will return Arendi,” he had said to her. “I promise.”
“I know,” she said smiling back. “I have no doubt.”
Walking away from the abandoned settlement, Julian then took one more glance at the warehouse building before he left. On the concrete wall remained the poster, the paper tarnished, but the message still the same.
Julian read it from afar, and nodded.
“Remember Earth,” he said. “I remember.”
Acknowledgements
My deepest thanks to Ling Kan, my father, who was there in the beginning and helped me form the novel over this seven-year journey. Also thanks to Victoria Edwards who was supportive and gave helpful feedback on the story. Final thanks goes to the genre of science fiction, and all the great works across so many mediums that inspired this novel.
For readers interested in character images to the novel please visit rememberthestarfighter.com.
About the author
Michael Kan was born in 1984 and grew up in Beaverton, Oregon. He went to the University of Michigan, where he majored in history and Asian studies. He currently works in Beijing, China as a reporter covering the technology sector.
He can be reached at [email protected].