Gracie blinked her deep blue eyes at him. “Lord Thorne, are you Helena’s lover?”
Helena gasped. “Heavens, no. How do you even know about such things?”
Sebastian arched his eyebrows as if to say, “Isn’t it obvious?” A courtesan was raising the girl. She would be exposed to situations other young girls wouldn’t, at least none in their circle.
“I don’t know. I am sorry.” Gracie picked at her night rail, avoiding eye contact.
“Oh, Gracie.” Helena patted her knee. “It is all right. You caught me by surprise, but no harm done. Lord Thorne is an acquaintance. He agreed to help find you and Lavinia, and he has fulfilled his promise admirably.”
There was a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He thought of them as more than mere acquaintances. He could understand how their association might be difficult to explain to a young girl, but identifying him as a friend would have been preferable. Helena hadn’t even spared him a warm glance.
The marquess and Miss Kendrick returned with Edith. “It is past your bedtime, young lady,” Miss Kendrick said with a smile. “Say good night.”
Gracie smiled shyly at Helena. “May I hug you?”
“That would make me very happy.” After Gracie collected hugs from Helena and Miss Kendrick, Edith ushered the girl from the parlor.
Silence descended over the room. No one spoke for some time until it began to feel awkward. Finally, Helena cleared her throat. “I will visit Cora and Pearl to make certain they are well-situated, and then I will return to collect Gracie as we agreed upstairs.”
Sebastian held his tongue. Helena was emotional from her reunion and not thinking clearly. She couldn’t bring an unknown girl into her home without stirring up rumors, especially one who shared similar physical traits.
Pain flashed in Miss Kendrick’s eyes. “I know it is for the best, but—”
Helena stepped forward to embrace her sister. “I am sorry, Lavinia. I wish there was another way. You have a place with me too, if you would accept it.”
Miss Kendrick kissed her cheek before withdrawing to dash away her tears. “I can’t. I belong here.”
After Helena said her good-byes to Miss Kendrick, Sebastian escorted her to his carriage. They hadn’t made it to the corner before she touched his arm. “Are you angry with me?” Her voice was soft, but the emotion echoed in the small space.
He stroked her cheek and smiled. “For not leaving when I said? No.”
“I meant for lying to you about my past. I should have told you the truth before we reached this point.”
Half her face was in shadow from the carriage lamp, reminding him of the side of her that she kept secret from most. He had known her past held some darkness. He’d seen the haunted reflection of it in her eyes. Now he understood the origin of her mistrust, and he wouldn’t condemn her for trying to protect herself.
“At what point would that be, love?” His hand moved to cradle her nape and his lips grazed hers.
Her eyes drifted shut, her breath growing uneven. “Before we became physically involved.”
Her answer was like a punch in the gut. He hadn’t considered it possible he was the only one falling in love. “Are you implying our connection is only physical? That you care nothing for me?”
“Of course not,” she said on a rush of breath. “I value our friendship very much, which makes it difficult to give you up.”
Sebastian drew back, his hand falling to his lap. “What do you mean by give me up?”
“I—” She swallowed hard. “I won’t be staying in London now that I have found my sisters. I can give Gracie a new beginning in Scotland just like my husband did for me.”
Sebastian’s jaw clenched. “Like Prestwick did for you.” The bloody Scot had been an opportunist who took advantage of a weak man and stole his daughter. “You make it sound as if you were a charity case, Helena. He took you from your family. Do not assign him heroic qualities he doesn’t deserve.”
“I know he wasn’t perfect, but he still saved me. Isn’t that the mark of a hero?”
Her admiration for Prestwick collided with Sebastian’s hatred for the blackguard, and a destructive storm brewed inside him. The carriage interior crackled with tense energy as she held his gaze, presumably awaiting an answer.
“How many times did he remind you that he saved you?” A low growl underscored his words. “Did he lord it over you every time you bucked his authority?”
“No, it wasn’t like that.” She rubbed her forehead, her eyes squeezed tightly together. “I never questioned his authority, and I regret every moment I submitted to his will.”
Sebastian let go of his anger for the man who had hurt her, because feeding the rage would only cause her more pain. Her guilt already weighed on her shoulders, leaving her slumped forward as if closing out everyone. She appeared so downtroddenand alone.
He put his arm around her. Her vulnerability was never so apparent than when she curled her small frame against his, seeking comfort. He exhaled in relief and drew her against his chest. His lips brushed her temple. Her feelings for him were stronger than she was willing or able to admit, so for now, he could love enough for both of them.
But he couldn’t let her go. Not just for his sake, but hers. If she returned to Scotland, Lavinia would not be part of her life. This couldn’t be what Helena truly wanted.
She lifted her face to him and he burrowed his fingers into her silky hair, knocking a pin loose, as his tongue teased her luscious mouth. She opened on a breath and dissolved against him. Her surrender was a sweet victory. She returned his kiss with the same passion she had shown outside the theatre.
He sensed the carriage slowing, then drawing to a stop. His lips traveled to her cheek, her temple, and finally to her gently curved ear. “Invite meinside, Helena.”
She eased from his embrace. The tip of her tongue flicked across her lips. Did she still taste him?
The carriage door flung open and Fergus glared at him. “What took you, lass? I havna been able to think on anything but if you found yer kin.”
Helena scrambled from the bench to hurry down the steps without extending Sebastian an invitation to join her. He gritted his teeth, ready to come to fisticuffs with the Scottish oaf for interrupting.
When she reached the ground, she smiled up at the giant. “Lord Thorne found them. Lavinia, Gracie, Cora, Pearl. They are all alive and well.”
The man released a lively whoop and lifted her in a hug. Sebastian didn’t have a chance to react before Fergus set her back on her feet and lobbed a grin at Sebastian. “Well done, my laird. You have made the lass verra happy.”
“He exceeded all expectations. I’m grateful for all he has done.”
Sebastian’s heart lurched. Why did that sound like a good-bye? “Helena…”
Her gaze shot in his direction but she didn’t respond to him. “I will call on Cora tomorrow then visit Pearl. By the week’s end we will begin our journey back to Aldmist Fell with Gracie.”
Her words were as powerful as a strike from Thor’s hammer.
Fergus frowned at him. “Are you certain, lass? There’s no urgency to return home. My cousin will take care of the land as long as necessary.”
“I’m sure you and Ismay are anxious to see your kin. There is no reason to delay.”
Devil take it! Sebastian would be damned if he was sent away like this. “We had a bargain, madam, or have you forgotten your end?” He climbed from the carriage.
In a surprising move, Fergus yielded to him, allowing Sebastian to stand toe to toe with the infuriating, stubborn, maddening woman. Her eyes widened.
“What about your promise to help my sister?” Sebastian said.
“B-but I fulfilled my promise. She is out in Society. You said she is likely to receive an offer of marriage soon.”
Sebastian lifted a haughty eyebrow, knowing his arrogance would engage her in a battle of wills. But a battle meant she was still engaged with him, and that was his onl
y hope in keeping her. “The prospect of a marriage proposal is not the same as securing a match. Given the history of broken betrothals in my family, surely you understand my reluctance to release you from our bargain before my sister has married.”
She issued an outraged cry. “I never said I would help her make a marriage match.”
“It was implied, Lady Prestwick. What other reason is there for a young lady to join the assemblies?”
“I never said—”
“Ahem!” Fergus cleared his throat loudly. Helena blinked up at him. “Now, lass. It seems to me Laird Thorne has done you a good service finding your sisters. It isna right to break your word to him.”
“But I’m not breaking my word.”
The Scot kindly patted her shoulder. “If Miss Thorne receives an offer of marriage as expected and marries the lad after the banns are cried, Laird Thorne has no reason to feel slighted.”
Her puckered face nearly made Sebastian laugh aloud. It was as if she smelled something rotten. He detected it too. It was called conspiracy, and to him, it smelled sweet.
She threw her hands in the air. “This is ridiculous. I don’t know what you expect from me.”
“I expect you to remain in Town until my sister marries. If she requires more assistance, I can’t very well expect you to travel back from Scotland at a moment’s notice. Eve needs you here.”
Hell, Sebastian needed her in London if there was any hope for a future together. He couldn’t leave England and continue the work his father started before he became unfit for Society. Sebastian’s responsibilities were here, but he wouldn’t ask Helena to sacrifice her dreams for him. He would find a way to make them come true while keeping her where she belonged, by his side.
“Well,” she said with a slight huff, “if you expect me to sit around waiting for Sir Jonathan to come up to scratch, you are mistaken. The day after tomorrow, I am traveling to see Pearl and you cannot stop me.”
He allowed a lazy grin to spread across his face. “I wouldn’t dream of keeping you from your sister, madam. In fact, I look forward to making her acquaintance.”
She hitched her chin. “You are not invited.”
He took a step toward her, tempted to claim her bottom lip when it mutinously pushed out. Unfortunately, the Scot wasn’t likely to look the other way while Sebastian overstepped his bounds. He forced his hands to his sides, even though he ached to touch her. “If you think I am letting you out of my sight until our bargain is fulfilled, madam, you are mistaken. Would you like to invite me inside so we might discuss this further?”
When she glared, he smiled. “Insufferable beast,” she said and stormed inside, closing the door behind her.
Fergus chuckled. “You’ve riled her now, my laird. Very wise.”
“How so?”
“When the lass finally gives in, she will feel satisfied for having given a good fight. Carries too much guilt, that one. For kowtowing to Laird Prestwick, but she was just a girl. She couldna have won the battle.”
Sebastian’s nostrils flared at the mention of Prestwick. “Did he ever raise a hand to her?”
“No, his lairdship never abused her. She was afforded the same kindness he extended to his breeding mares.” Fergus’s derisive sneer revealed his poor opinion of his former employer. The Scot obviously cared for Helena, which made his overbearing manner less offensive all of a sudden. Her man inclined his head toward Sebastian. “But I’ve seen you with the lass. You listen to her wishes and treat her with kindness. Allow her to choose you and her heart will be yours forever.”
Sebastian sighed, considering the older man’s words. Fergus had known Helena for years. He was like family to her. If Sebastian were truly wise, he would heed the servant’s advice. “Perhaps I shouldn’t go to Haslemere with her.”
“I didna say let the lass run roughshod over you, my laird. Give her the fight she needs, so she can redeem herself in her eyes. Then it’s only a matter of time before she lets herself love you in return.”
Sebastian smiled ruefully. “Am I that obvious?”
Fergus cackled and slapped him on the back. “Aye, like a jackass at a garden party.”
Twenty-one
The next morning Helena and Fergus climbed into a hack to head for Clerkenwell to call on her younger sister Cora. Today she needed a friend, not a pretend footman. As much as Helena tried to stir up enthusiasm for her visit to Cora, she couldn’t shake the dark mood hanging over her like a rain cloud.
Fighting with Sebastian had her insides twisted in a snarl. She had known leaving him would be difficult, but parting on bad terms didn’t make separating any easier. It made her feel like a spoiled, ungrateful brat.
She had been honest with him about her plans, believing she owed him at least that much. But she wished they could have kissed each other good-bye and ended their association on friendly terms.
Liar. She adjusted her position on the carriage bench, trying to wrestle the truth into submission. Eventually, she tossed her hands in the air. “Very well. I am one.” She didn’t want to end things with Sebastian, but what other choice did she have? At some point, he would tire of her, and she couldn’t see delaying her plans when they had no future together.
Fergus’s chuckle reminded her she wasn’t alone. Heat rushed into her cheeks. But instead of drawing attention to her embarrassing habit of talking to herself, he asked a question. “How old was Cora when you were brought to Aldmist Fell?”
“She had just turned eleven. Cora was always small for her age. Not surprising since it was nearly impossible to get the girl to sit still. Mama used to say she was going to nail Cora’s skirts to the chair if she didn’t sit down and eat. She never followed through, of course.”
Helena relaxed against the seatback with a fond smile. Even when Mama was struggling to keep them fed, clothed, and sheltered, she had kept her sense of humor. Helena’s younger years had been happy ones because of her.
“What about Pearl? How old is she?”
Helena tapped her finger to her lip, quickly calculating Pearl’s age. “She is nineteen. Only a year younger than Cora.”
“Close in age like you and Lavinia. Were they the best of friends like you two?”
She shook her head and smiled at the kindhearted man across from her. He was trying to distract her, perhaps sensing her nerves. Or maybe he thought she was angry with him for taking Sebastian’s side last night. She didn’t understand what had made him champion Sebastian’s cause, but she knew he meant well.
Fergus looked at the shop windows as they passed. “I think we have arrived, lass.”
The hack began to slow and stopped in front of a brick building with a large display window filled with sausages and hams. A sign above the door read White’s Butcher Shoppe.
Fergus clambered from the carriage before assisting Helena. Men and women bustled along the walkway with determined strides. Passersby swerved around her and Fergus with naught but a curious glance here and there. A bell jangled as Fergus pushed the door open and held it for Helena. Smoked meats dangled from the ceiling by various lengths of rope by the unattended counter. Dull thwacks of a cleaver against wood came from a back room, and a rusty scent assaulted her nose. She breathed through her mouth to minimize the nauseating smell.
Helena met Fergus’s gaze and he shrugged. Approaching the counter, he peered over it to check if someone had ducked behind it and shook his head to indicate no one was there.
Helena cleared her throat. “Excuse me,” she called to the person in back.
A louder whack made her jump. “Mrs. White!” The bellow echoed in the small room and rang in Helena’s ears. “Mrs. White, we have customers.”
When no one responded, the man muttered, “Where have you gotten off to now?” He tried once more to summon the woman. “Mrs. White! Cora!”
Helena’s heart stalled as she realized the man was calling for her little sister. Grumbles floated from the back room. Wiping his bloody hands on a towel, a man who
appeared to be in his early thirties entered the shop just as the front door banged against the wall. Helena spun around with a gasp. A plump young woman hustled inside with two loaves of bread cradled in her arms.
“I have returned, Mr. White,” she sang out cheerfully, swept past Helena and Fergus without really looking at either of them, and headed for a set of stairs.
The man’s face softened as his gaze followed her. “We have customers.”
Mrs. White stopped on the first step and nailed him with a scathing look. Helena had no doubts this was her sister. Although her outer appearance had changed drastically in nine years, she had retained her contemptuous countenance. It had earned her a beating from their father on more than one occasion. “My arms are full, Mr. White. Why can’t you see to the customers?”
Helena held her breath as she waited for Cora’s husband to storm across the shop and deliver a strong clout to her ear as their father had often done. Instead, Mr. White held up his red-stained hands and smiled as if indulging a child. “I need your assistance, dearest.”
Cora sighed heavily.
“We can wait,” Helena offered.
Her sister’s gaze snapped toward her and narrowed. She came back down the stairs. “I will take care of them, Mr. White. You may return to cutting meat.”
He thanked her and disappeared into the back room again. Helena’s eyes widened at how easily he was ordered about by his much younger wife.
Cora’s mouth puckered as she slowly looked her over from head to toe. “You look like Lavinia, only fancier. I thought you died. What are you doing here?”
Fergus stepped forward as if to take her in hand, but Helena held out an arm to stop him. “Show some respect for your betters,” he snapped.
“I am not her better. I am her sister.” She smiled kindly at Cora. Her sister had always been temperamental and difficult, but Helena loved her dearly. Lavinia had told her Cora was affected by Helena’s leaving, and although Cora blamed their father, she’d still been angry with Helena for not fighting to stay.
Her sister moved behind the counter and set the bread aside. “How may I help you, milady? We’ve a nice blood sausage and our smoked hams are always in demand.”
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