by Dawn Atkins
“Good point. Open the roll and you’ll find your fortune.”
He tore the bun in two and picked out the candy. A heart glowed yellow in the center of the dime-sized red circle. She’d used yellow to color the shapes she embedded in the red candies. “A heart. What does that mean?”
“That you’ll fall in love.” Awkward. Maybe she should have marked a roll with a more neutral charm.
“What did you get?”
She ripped the roll apart and pulled out the charm. A heart.
“You’ll fall in love, too. What are the odds?” He gave her a funny smile.
Did he think she’d set it up? That she wanted them to fall in love?
God no. “The charms must have clumped.”
“Clumped, huh?” Jonah held her gaze.
“Definitely clumped.” She took his charm and put it with hers on the table. “Anyway, taste the roll and tell me what you think.”
He started to take a bite, then stopped. “Wait. You’re not adding this to the menu, are you?”
“Actually, yes. Rosie thinks it’s a good idea, too. We’ll sell them by the dozen with little cards that explain the charms.”
“We?” he said. “Don’t you mean me? You’ll be gone in a week.”
“That’s just it.” Cara took a deep breath, knowing her face had to be as red as the gummy charm, then said what she had to say. “I’ve decided to stay for the summer.”
Using the café’s pay phone to call the center’s blind number, Cara had confirmed that a two-month delay wouldn’t lose her place in Phoenix. They had a protected way to get Beth Ann’s records to her new school, too.
His eyebrows lifted. “What about your job? Your apartment? You were ready to tear out of here on the bus a few days ago.”
“I know, but I make better money in the café, so I can pay for the car repair. Plus, Bunny likes it here. I’ll still have the apartment and job.” She tried to meet his gaze, hating that she had to lie about Rosie and their deal.
“If you say so.” He blew out a breath, sounding unhappy. He wanted her gone? That hurt. Her cheeks stung with heat.
“You sound disappointed.”
“No. It’s good. I need a waitress.” But he didn’t look pleased.
“But you’d rather it wasn’t me.”
Jonah didn’t confirm, but she could see it was true.
“Is it all my din? The French toast and pecan rolls and the coffee? My personality?”
“No. None of that.” He dropped his roll on the table. She set hers down, too, waiting for him to explain. “I was braced for you to leave.”
“Okay…” Was that supposed to make her feel better?
His eyes dug in, dark with a golden glow. “Don’t you get it? You…disrupt me.” His voice was rough. “I can’t think straight around you. More and more it’s all I can do not to…” He tilted his head, shifted forward.
He wanted to kiss her. He could hardly stop himself.
The thrill of that zinged through her. The air between them nearly crackled with electricity. Then do it. Kiss me. I want you to. She angled her mouth, leaned in.
Jonah pulled backed. “But that can’t happen. You don’t want that.”
Cara sucked in a breath. He was right. She knew it. Instantly, the rush stopped, the heat fled. A kiss would be just the start. After that came getting naked, touching each other in intimate spots. Then Jonah would be on top of her, weighing her down, overpowering her, and she would think of Barrett and panic.
That was the last thing she wanted.
They looked at each other for a long charged moment.
“I guess we’ll have to be careful around each other,” she said.
“Meaning?”
“You know. Avoid temptation.”
“Like being alone with my bed close enough to fall into? With you in a clingy top and a short skirt? With those lips?”
“And you smelling so good you make me weak in the knees?”
“Yeah? I had no idea aftershave had that power.”
“Yours does. On you. You disrupt me, too.” She felt dizzy, like her words were spinning her in a circle, turning her and turning her until she didn’t know what she was doing. “I’d better go. I have some ideas to go over with you. Tomorrow, we’ll talk. In the café. With customers all around.”
“Right,” he said, looking a little dazed himself.
“Taste the bun, okay? Tell me what you think.”
“I will.”
“Good night.” She went to the door and twisted the knob. Then she remembered Rosie’s fancy plate, and turned for it, finding herself against Jonah’s chest, looking up at him.
His eyes widened in surprise, then he enclosed her in his arms and covered her lips with his own. He’d thought she’d changed her mind.
It felt like she had.
He tasted of mint and man and his lips were gentle, but insistent, giving and taking at once. He teased her lips with his tongue, seducing them open.
Everything in her wanted this. This kiss, this embrace, this man.
Desire roared through her, blocking her hearing, stopping all thought. Again, she felt swept into wild waters.
Cara grabbed on to Jonah’s back, digging in her fingers, holding on tight, trying to stay above the flood. He deepened the kiss, pulled her closer, making it worse. And better. She didn’t know what was happening.
She felt his body against hers, his hardness. He was ready for her.
Was she ready for him? She felt tight and liquid between her legs. That part of her was ready. It would be normal and natural to keep going, take the next step. They wanted each other, they liked and trusted each other.
But Cara wasn’t normal, and nothing about sex would feel natural to her. Not now. Not for a long time. Maybe never.
She couldn’t do this. The part of her that was strong enough to leave Barrett, that had helped her find a way out with Beth Ann, knew that.
Cara broke off the kiss, pushed out of his arms, fighting to breathe, to think, to explain. “I just wanted Rosie’s plate,” she managed to say.
Jonah appeared stricken. “My mistake.” He turned to dump the remaining buns from the plate, and they tumbled to the floor. He thrust the dish at her.
“I’m sorry, Jonah. It wasn’t you.” She’d said that before. How totally lame, so weak. She was a scared rabbit, and as soon as she got the door open, she ran like one all the way to the safety of the café.
She was so ashamed. The man had barely kissed her and she’d acted like he’d threatened her life. How could she face him again?
For a few minutes, it was only her promise to Rosie that kept her from packing up and taking the bus in the morning.
CHAPTER NINE
JONAH STOOD watching CJ cross the yard, feeling six shades of stupid. She’d turned back for the plate and he’d basically assaulted her.
She’d kissed him back, sure, but not for long.
Was he that desperate, that out of control?
CJ was running from her ex-husband, he was almost certain, and the man had likely abused her. God knows what he’d done to her in bed. The thought made Jonah see red, made him want to find the guy and beat him to a pulp. Just like your old man. Solve it with your fists.
Jonah shook his head. The point was some guy had given CJ trouble, and the last thing she needed was more from Jonah.
What she needed was a friend. What she needed was to feel safe. And he’d gone
and scared her.
He made sure she got into the café, then shut his door.
What the hell was wrong with him?
CJ would be here all summer. He’d better fix it fast, be an adult from now on, keep his hands to himself, support her, listen to her, keep her daughter busy in the shop and say yes to whatever she wanted to do to the café.
She deserved a good man. Someone worthy of her trust, who would consider her needs first, let her call the shots, and always, always be there for her, through good times and bad. That was not Jonah. He’d proved that once and for all with Suzanne.
He found the torn roll on the table and took a bite. It was tasty. Complex. Tangy and sweet. Like a fruit muffin but airier. Even the nuts tasted better than usual. Peanuts…cashews, too. And CJ wanted to sell the buns in the café. More mess, more trouble. He threw out the rolls that had hit the floor, swept the candy charms into his hand. He started to toss them in the trash, but they glowed golden in his palm. CJ had gone bright red when their charms had matched. They’d clumped, she said. That made him smile.
What the hell. He’d keep them. He dropped them onto the windowsill next to the jade plant he couldn’t seem to kill.
You’re going to fall in love. Yeah, right. Did she have a charm for hopeless horn dogs?
Through the window, he spotted Louis slinking toward the trailer, so he went out to pretend he didn’t notice when the cat tucked in for his nightly scratch. As far as dealing with needs and feelings, a cat was about his speed.
* * *
AT 5:00 P.M. the next day, Cara set two places on the café counter, wiped her palms on her apron and inhaled deeply. She was holding a tasting of the new menu ideas for Jonah and Ernesto. As soon as the café closed, she had started cooking. The pair of them were due any minute.
Sure enough, the door jangled and in came Jonah.
Cara’s heart lifted at the sight of him. She couldn’t help it. “Hey,” she said, glad she could blame the steamy kitchen for her red face.
“Hey.” He gave her that look, cool as the iced coffee they now offered, just like this morning’s and all day when their eyes met. She’d expected awkwardness. She was mortified, after all. But coldness? Distance. That felt awful. The kiss had ruined their friendship.
“Ernesto can’t make it,” Jonah said. “Some family thing.”
“Oh.” They would need Ernesto as sous-chef if they added the menu items Cara wanted. “So it’s just us then.” She swallowed.
“You think that’s bad? The two of us alone?”
She gave a wry smile. “After today, when you treated me like I had the plague? I doubt there will be a problem.”
He frowned. “After last night, I figured you’d want me to steer clear. I attacked you.”
“You didn’t attack me. I wanted you to kiss me. I wanted to kiss you.”
Jonah stared at her, not understanding.
“Look…I’m not in good shape for…intimacy.” She couldn’t even say sex.
“I pushed you. I saw your face.”
“No, Jonah. I’m messed up. I wish I wasn’t. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I was out of line.”
“I won’t if you won’t,” she said. “Be sorry, I mean.”
Jonah studied her for a long moment. “Okay,” he finally said.
“So, we’re good? Able to pass within a foot of each other without flinching?”
“Depends on how disruptive you plan to be.” A smile flickered on his face and it made her feel so much better.
“Yes! That’s what I missed today. The joking around, the teasing.” She’d missed him. “We’re back to being friends.”
“Guess we are.”
The surge hit again. She wanted him. She could see the same reaction in his eyes. That had to stop.
They were friends. They’d shared a little of their personal stories. Jonah had been good to her and kind to Beth Ann. He’d said Cara had helped him. They cared for each other.
If only they could try…
No. She forced her thoughts in line. No wishes. No if-onlys. Just here and now and how things were.
“So, let’s get this done.” Jonah gave a weary sigh and headed for the counter.
“You make it sound like torture.”
“That’s later when I have to cook it all.” But his teasing smile was back. Much better. They would be okay. All she had to do was focus on doing her best for Rosie and the café. She was nervous about the ideas she had, whether they were good, whether they would work, but Rosie kept encouraging her.
Jonah’s approval would help.
“Have a seat. I’ll be right out.”
* * *
CJ BUSTLED INTO the kitchen and Jonah climbed onto a stool to wait for her to turn his menu upside down. What just happened? She didn’t blame him for the kiss. That was good. She wanted them to be friends.
Friends. Yeah, he could do that. She’d missed the teasing and joking. He’d missed her. Period. He wanted her in his arms and in his bed.
Can’t happen. Forget it.
If she could, he could. So he sat there while she dashed out with dish after dish, explaining each one, sampling them with him, comparing opinions, deciding on spices and salt, leaning across the counter, giving him a way too tempting view of the tops of her breasts. Lace on the bra, too. Mmm.
“Well?”
“Huh?” She’d asked him a question.
“Is there too much tarragon in the green goddess dressing?”
He took a bite of lettuce and savored the dressing. “Tastes like licorice? Yeah. Too strong.”
“That’s what I thought. Okay. I’ll back that down. The garlic parmesan dressing is good?” She seemed so nervous. Her color was high and she kept biting her lip and bobbing side to side. She was smart, she knew what she was doing, but she seemed to doubt herself.
“It’s great, like I said. Looks like you’ve got plans for Rosie’s garden. The bistro girls won’t be happy to lose the produce.”
“Can’t be helped. Garden-fresh dishes will bring in more health-conscious patrons. We need another niche.”
She went on about ads and specials and coupons and maybe a highway billboard until his head spun.
“You seem to know a lot about the restaurant business. You get your degree in that?”
CJ froze, then looked down at the counter. “I don’t have a degree. Not yet anyway.” She glanced at him, embarrassed, it seemed.
“Not a big deal,” he said. “College doesn’t guarantee much these days. People I know—”
“I’m halfway toward a teaching degree,” she blurted.
He studied her. “Teaching, huh? You’ll be good at that.”
“I hope so. I won’t really know until I student teach.”
“Come on. You’re smart, energetic, enthusiastic. You’re good with people. You care. What else do you need?”
“A lot, trust me. I want to teach middle school. There’s so much about psychology, how people learn, the curriculum, brain development.” She’d flushed when he’d praised her.
“You’re brave.” He smiled. “Middle school is hormone hell.”
“It’s a crucial time. Kids solidify their beliefs about themselves during those years. I kind of got lost then. If a teacher had encouraged me, I might have pushed myself more, ended up less timid.”
“Timid? I don’t see that.”
“You don’t?”
“No. You gave
me hell from the day you walked in here. Relentless is more like it.”
“Really? That’s good, I guess.” Emotions swirled in her blue eyes, not all of them happy. “After I had my, um, rough patch, it took a while to build my confidence.” She swallowed. “I’ve had a setback.” CJ glanced at him. “But with you, here in the café, I think I’ve bounced back. It’s been good for me.”
For some reason, his eyes started watering. “All I can say is if you can get me frosting pecan rolls, you’ll have seventh graders writing operas and acting out quadratic equations.”
CJ smiled a big, bright, treasure box of a smile, and it lit him up inside. She’d been good for him, too.
She served him beef and chicken curry turnovers, home-style mac-and-cheese, fried catfish in panko crumbs, grilled zucchini in a peanut sauce, fried pickle chips and sweet potato fries.
Jonah savored every bite, snared constantly by the sparkle in her blue eyes, the soft fullness of her lips shiny with oil. It made him light-headed.
“Huh?” CJ had asked him another question.
“I said you’re probably wondering how we’ll prep all this.”
“Sure. Yeah.” But he’d been too distracted. “How will we?”
She told him she thought Ernesto could help, doing some of the baking, gradually taking over as sous-chef as they got busier and more money came in. Ernesto had a cousin, Hector, who could take over as busboy.
“You’ve thought this through,” Jonah said.
“I had time last night. I didn’t sleep well.”
“Me neither.” He’d relived that kiss a million times, then slapped himself down for taking advantage of her. She’d taken the guilt away, though, when she’d told him she wasn’t sorry, that she’d wanted it, too, but had just lost her nerve.
“That’s all I’ve got for now,” CJ said finally. Finally. She’d wreaked enough havoc on the menu. “No dessert, but I do want to add more baked goods. So…what do you think?” She looked at him eagerly, excited about it.
What did he think? My life would be so much easier if I’d closed up early the day you walked in smelling so pink. But what he said was, “Long as we ease into it, dish by dish, I’m good.”