“What music did you bring?” she asked, turning the conversation to a subject she could handle. Misty opened her folder and began to show her.
Nearly an hour and a half later, Misty had gone, and Joy was absorbed in learning the new music. When she was wrapped in music, the rest of the world ceased to exist for her. She forgot all about the computer and the phone, and even Isaac, as she played.
This time when she came to the end of the piece, she heard someone clearing his throat. Whirling around, she saw Isaac standing there. How long had he been there? How long had she been here? Glancing at the clock confirmed her suspicions. She’d stayed too long.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to take so long.” She stood and began gathering up the music. In her haste some of the sheets flew out of her hands.
She dropped to her knees to pick them up. Isaac sank down next to her, his nearness causing her to fumble the sheets even more.
Instead of picking up the papers, he put his hands over both of hers. “Joy, it’s all right. I don’t mind that you stayed to practice.”
She looked up at him and their gazes locked. In the pit of her stomach, she felt a curious flutter, caused by nervousness and…something else she didn’t recognize. She tried to pull her hands away, but Isaac held them.
“You’re a different person when you play the piano,” he said quietly. “Which one is the real Joy?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
Instead of answering, Isaac lifted one hand and cupped her cheek for a moment, then softly stroked her long hair where it fell over her shoulder. “I think the real Joy is the one in the music.”
Joy’s heart began to beat faster. She didn’t know what was going to happen next, but what did follow would have been among her last guesses.
Isaac leaned forward and kissed her, gently covering her mouth with his own. She felt a tremor run through her body. He moved away, and she wanted to cry.
But it turned out he’d only broken the kiss so he could draw her closer to him. Another kiss followed, and Joy dared to put her hands on his sides. Kissing Isaac felt like music.
Abruptly he stopped. There was a look of horror on his face. “Joy, I’m sorry. I—I don’t know what came over me.”
She stared at him, struggling to put words together.
“You don’t have to be sorry.”
“Yes, I do. I shouldn’t have kissed you. It was…inappropriate.” Quickly he gathered the scattered papers, and standing, he tucked them back into their folder.
Joy watched him from her position on the floor. When she made no move to rise, Isaac took her hands and pulled her up. In an instant he went from apologizing to kissing her again. Joy was lost in a whirlpool of sensation and emotion.
And then suddenly, he thrust her away from him again. This time he took a few steps back and turned away from her. “Joy,” he said, his voice rough. “Go home, please.”
She fled, not even bothering to take the folder with her music.
****
Heavy clouds hung low in the sky, creating an artificial twilight. Joy made it home without shedding a tear. She stumbled in through the kitchen, dark and silent without Rosie, but it was just as well she wasn’t here, Joy told herself. Rosie would know something was wrong and wouldn’t rest until she’d dragged it out of her. And this was something Joy couldn’t tell Rosie. Kissing the pastor—she’d be shocked.
She scrambled upstairs to her room where she changed from a skirt and blouse to a pair of faded jeans and a heavy sweater. She was getting ready to serve the birds their afternoon meal.
The tears began as she was putting on her gloves. She yanked a stack of tissues from a nearby box and shoved them into a pocket, picked up her five gallon pail of birdseed, and headed outside, regardless of the tears.
There were several different types of feeders. Some hung from the trees, cylinders with dowels for perches. Thistle seed went into these to attract nuthatches and other small birds. It was difficult for the bigger birds like blue jays to feed from them. Some birdfeeders, she’d mounted on posts and those opened from the top. Joy filled these with a seed mixture that was almost half sunflower seeds. Another type of feeder was like a little cage that hung from a branch. She filled these with suet.
As she worked, she relaxed. She was able to stop crying and to think about what had happened.
Isaac had kissed her. Really kissed her. Her hands stilled as she remembered it. Okay, that wasn’t helping.
Joy gulped in several breaths of the cold air to clear her head. He’d kissed her and then apologized. And then he’d kissed her again and told her to go home. Talk about mixed signals.
What did she do? Did she go back to work tomorrow? Should she pretend nothing had happened or should she insist that Isaac give her an explanation?
Ha, that was funny. She’d never insisted on anything in her life. Except for maybe her music lessons and her birdfeeders. Those were the only things she’d ever asked her grandfather for.
At eight she already had a couple of years of piano lessons under her belt. Once her grandfather had heard how well she could play, he was very willing for her to continue.
The birdfeeders were another matter. Grandfather hated them. He said they spoiled the yard and looked tacky. She wasn’t sure, but Joy thought maybe Rosie had had a word with him and convinced him to let her put up her first feeder. Every time she added one, Grandfather would fuss, but sometimes she caught him watching the birds and if not smiling, at least not looking as fierce as he usually did. And he had given her books about birds several times for Christmas.
But Joy didn’t think she could insist that Isaac give her an explanation. Even thinking about discussing it made her stomach knot.
She stayed outside for a long time, until the cold had seeped through her winter coat and chilled her through and through. By then the twilight was natural and not brought on by heavy clouds.
She had thought her situation through again and again. There was still one big question unanswered—should she go in to work tomorrow or should she consider herself fired?
There was no hot cocoa or tea waiting for her when she came in, reminding her again that Rosie was gone. The house was dark and depressing without her. Joy shook with cold, her teeth chattering as she filled the kettle and put it on the stove. Rosie would never have let her stay out so long.
And on top of it all, she had to make her own supper.
****
Isaac found himself on Joseph’s doorstep that evening. When he’d first come to Orchard Hill years ago, he’d helped Joseph through the death of his wife. The two men had become close friends over the years. Usually Joseph came to him for counsel. But now, Isaac didn’t know what to do or whom else he could talk to.
He was not surprised to find Joseph’s house empty. In resignation, Isaac walked across the yard to Harmony’s house. Now that they were engaged, Joseph and his family seemed to spend most of their time there. He’d hoped to catch Joseph alone, but it didn’t seem that would be possible.
He knocked on Harmony’s back door, and Joseph’s youngest son, fourteen-year-old Peter, answered. “Hi Pastor,” he said. “Are you looking for Dad?”
“Yes, is he here?”
“He’s here somewhere.”
“Any idea where?”
“I think he’s upstairs. I’ll take you.”
“Thanks.”
Peter and his brother Noah had been doing homework at the kitchen table. Noah said a quick hello and then returned to his books. As they walked through the living room they encountered Joseph’s triplet nieces playing with dolls. His daughter, Abby, was sitting on the steps talking on the phone.
“This really is a full house,” Isaac commented.
“Yeah,” Peter replied with a grin. “But we like it that way.”
They found Joseph and Harmony in the sewing room in the middle of a heated argument.
“But the house is perfect for it,” Harmony was saying. “It’s a g
reat idea.”
“It’s a terrible idea,” Joseph countered. “Don’t you think you have enough to do without adding another career to the mix?”
“What do I have to do? I don’t even have a job right now.”
“And you don’t need one. Think of all the time you already spend on the kids and their multitude of activities, and we’re not even married yet.”
“Hey, Dad, Pastor Isaac is here to see you.”
Harmony and Joseph stopped arguing at once and turned toward the doorway.
“I didn’t mean to interrupt anything,” Isaac said. “If this is a bad time…”
“Don’t worry about it,” Peter commented as he turned to go back downstairs. “They’ve been having the same fight for weeks now. They’ll remember where they left off.”
Harmony looked like she wanted to sink into the floor. “I’m so sorry Isaac.”
“I don’t mean to be nosy but as your pre-marriage counselor, I feel safe in asking, ‘what’s going on here?’”
Joseph pointed a finger at his soon-to-be wife. “She wants to turn my house into a hotel after we get married.”
“A bed and breakfast. It would be perfect, and I know Joseph can do a wonderful job on the renovation. He did this house after all.”
“I have nothing against women having careers, but in our case, Harmony, the kids need you.”
“That’s why this would be perfect. I’d just be next door, like I am now. Besides, what did you do before me?”
“We depended on Hope a lot, but I don’t think we can do that anymore.” Joseph’s sister, Hope, had recently become engaged, just one more victim of the wedding bug that had spread through Orchard Hill in the last year.
Isaac held up his hands. “All right, this sounds like a serious disagreement. Why don’t we save it for your next counseling session?”
Harmony and Joseph, both looking relieved, agreed.
“What did you need, Isaac?” asked Joseph.
This was the part where he had to admit that he needed help, that there was a situation he couldn’t handle.
Isaac had no problem rounding up volunteers and delegating jobs. He enjoyed counseling others and helping them overcome their problems. But it was different when you had to admit your own life wasn’t perfect. He might be able to choke it out in front of Joseph, but there was no way he was going to say anything in front of Harmony.
His gaze dropped to the floor. “I just…um, needed to talk to you about something.”
“What’s up? No, let me guess. The Sunday School teacher wants to bring live animals into the sanctuary for the Christmas program again.”
“No. This is a…personal matter.”
Harmony’s eyes widened as she caught on. “Oh…where are my manners? I’ll just slip down to the kitchen and make some coffee. If you’ll excuse me…”
“What’s the matter, Isaac?” asked Joseph, concern for his friend evident in his eyes.
He blew out a breath. This wasn’t easy, and looking around at piles of fabric, bunches of lace and half-finished dresses hanging on the back of the door wasn’t helping. “Can we go over to your place…or at least somewhere a little less…feminine?”
Joseph looked around. “I see your point. Let’s go.”
Joseph told Harmony where they were going and dropped a kiss on her cheek. Isaac heard his whispered apology for the argument before they left.
Concern for his flock always came first with Isaac. “What’s the problem between you two?” he asked Joseph as they trekked back across the lawn.
“Marrying into my family is going to take a lot of adjustment,” he said. “I don’t want Harmony to take on too much.”
Isaac looked back at her house, with light coming from many of its windows, the faint sound of happy voices filtering out across the yard. Then he considered Joseph’s dark house ahead. “I think she’s adjusted.”
“Like you said, let’s save it for our next visit with you.” They climbed the porch steps and Joseph led Isaac through the back door and into the kitchen.
“Want anything?” asked Joseph, indicating the refrigerator.
“That’s a very tempting offer since I know Harmony has been cooking for you, but I’ll decline for now.” Isaac pulled out a chair and sat at the table.
Joseph grabbed a plate of cookies from the counter and joined Isaac at the table. “You’ve got to help me out with these,” he said. “I’m going to weigh three hundred pounds by the time we get to the wedding.”
Isaac bit into a cookie. They were oatmeal with dried cranberries and white chocolate pieces. “Tell Harmony these are great.”
“Harmony didn’t make them. Peter did.”
“Peter?”
“Yes, he’s following in Harmony’s footsteps apparently. With two bakers in the family there’s no hope for our waistlines.”
Isaac could hear the pride in Joseph’s voice, behind the complaint.
“But we didn’t come over here to talk about cookies. What’s the matter, Isaac?”
It was easier to discuss the cookies. “I don’t know where to start.”
“Just tell me what it’s about. You’re worrying me with all this beating around the bush. This isn’t like you.”
Isaac leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. “Today was Joy’s first day.”
“Didn’t it go well?”
“You could say that.”
“So what? You need to fire her, and you don’t want to hurt her feelings.”
“No.” Isaac sighed and opened his eyes, leveling his gaze on Joseph. “I kissed her.”
Joseph’s jaw dropped. He looked like a fish pulled suddenly from the water, gasping for breath. Then he closed his mouth and shook his head. “That is the last thing I ever expected to hear from you.”
“I really made a mess of it, too.” Isaac related the whole incident to Joseph.
When he was finished Joseph took a minute to mull over the situation. Then he said, “You’re about the most date-shy man I’ve ever known. Why Joy? Why now?”
Isaac slumped down in his chair and laid his arms on the table. “I don’t know. But I do know that Joy is the last person I should date.”
“Why? Because it will cause gossip? You keep using that excuse but it’s wearing thin.”
“It’s not an excuse,” Isaac snapped. “I know what kind of damage gossip can do.”
Joseph leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. “Tell me about it.”
“All right. When I was an intern, I dated a few girls in my congregation. Whenever I broke up with any of them, the gossips would dissect the whole relationship. I could handle that. I know a pastor is sort of a public figure, and his life is always open for discussion.”
“So what’s the problem then?”
“One time, and I have no idea why, the gossips decided that a girl I had dated had treated me badly. Rumors started, everyone took sides, and she ended up leaving the congregation.”
“How do you know that would happen again? Orchard Hill is a different community. Maybe they won’t react the same way.”
“I can’t chance that with Joy. She’s already so shy; it would kill her to have everyone discussing her, judging her.” Isaac laid his head down on the table. “What do I do?”
“I guess you apologize and don’t kiss her anymore,” Joseph suggested.
Isaac raised his head enough for one eye to peep out over his arms. “I don’t know if I can do that if we’re going to work together.”
“Are you saying you have a problem with self-control, pastor?”
His friend’s use of his title was a dig, but Isaac let it go because he deserved it.
“Look, I didn’t intend to kiss her today, but it happened. It could happen again.”
The room grew silent as both men contemplated the problem. Then Joseph said, “Let me see if I have this straight. You’re attracted to Joy, so you’re worried you might…kiss her again, but you won’t ask her out because you�
��re afraid she could get hurt.”
“Isn’t that what I’ve been telling you for the last quarter of an hour?”
“So you really care about her.”
“I do. I have for a long time, now.”
“You certainly kept that secret well. I had no idea.”
“That’s the point, isn’t it?” Isaac rose and began to pace. “What should I do?”
“The way I see it,” Joseph said, “you have two choices. You can do nothing, or you can take a chance and ask her out. Go somewhere outside of Orchard Hill. The gossips won’t catch on right away.”
Orchard Hill Volume Three Page 20