by Love, Kristy
“Yeah.” The last thing I wanted her to do was leave this car, but I knew she had to go inside.
She leaned over and kissed my cheek. “Thank you for today. It was really, really nice.” She smiled and climbed out of the car. I followed her to her front door, kissing her softly before she went inside.
I already missed her.
There was no denying it.
I was definitely in love with her.
Ryanne
SOMETIMES IT SEEMED THAT MY life was too good to be true. Will was the best boyfriend in the history of boyfriends. He texted me every morning and sent me a goodnight text every night. Sometimes, he would sneak over to my house and we’d make out on the back deck. If we were hanging out with Jax, as soon as he left the room Will was kissing me as though I was the air he needed to breathe.
And I loved it.
I loved every second of every day that I got to spend with him.
Dad was home again. He said he was going to be home for a month this time, but when he left again, he’d be gone even longer than usual. I had no idea what that meant or why it was important for me to know. He always came and went as he pleased, not telling Jax or I what was going on.
Jax had begun to avoid Dad at all costs. Whenever he came into a room and saw him, he immediately turned and left the room. I had tried to ask him about it, but he just said he didn’t feel like dealing with the drama surrounding our dad. I didn’t pester him, figuring he was an adult and could handle it however he wanted. Personally, I preferred to have as little as possible to do with Dad, so I understood where he was coming from.
Will and I spent every available second together that we could. He was constantly touching me as though he needed to convince himself that I was really there. He brushed against me when he walked near me, tucked hair behind my ear … I had never felt so important to someone before. When he looked at me, I felt like I was the only person he ever saw. I had no idea what I had done to deserve him, but I was glad.
I was afraid to admit it, but I had fallen in love with him. I had fallen for the way he felt so deeply. Most guys were afraid of their feelings, but Will embraced them and expressed them. Every time he touched me, I could feel how much he cared about me. Since he had told me about the accident, he was an open book. I felt like there were no secrets between us. I never had to wonder how he felt about things because he was more than willing to tell me, all I had to do was ask.
We continued movie nights, though they were more sporadic. I was scheduled a lot on Fridays, so we sometimes had to change which day we got together. Jax had confessed to me that he feared that Will and I being together meant he was not only losing his best friend, but his sister, so Will and I made sure to spend time with him. As much as I loved Will, I had to make sure Jax was okay. He had lost enough in his life, he didn’t need to worry about losing me.
I hadn’t seen Will in a couple days and we hadn’t spent much time together since our date the previous weekend, so I missed him desperately.
Ryanne: Do you have plans tomorrow? I have off and I wanted to plan a special day for the two of us :)
Will: No plans tomorrow. I was going to hang out with Jax on Sunday, so tomorrow works perfectly. What did you have in mind?
Ryanne: I want to surprise you.
Will: Why do I feel nervous?
Ryanne: Don’t. It’ll be awesome, I promise.
Will: It’s a good thing I trust you.
Ryanne: It is.
I had been up late last night organizing things for today. After the awesome date Will had planned the week before, I wanted to do something special for him. I called him to wake him up.
“Hello?” he said, his voice thick with sleep.
“Wake up, sexy boy.” I fought back a giggle. “It’s my day with you, so you better get up.” I heard blankets rustling in the background. “I have a full day planned for us, so get your ass out of bed and meet me outside in fifteen minutes. Oh, and make sure you bring warm clothes.”
I hung up the phone and finished getting ready.
Ten minutes later, I stood outside my car, waiting for Will to come outside. I kept checking my watch, planning to give him a hard time if he took longer than fifteen minutes. Exactly thirteen minutes after I had called him, he stepped outside, striding toward me. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me, making me forget everything but him.
“You were almost late,” I said when I was able to pull myself away.
“Almost, but I wasn’t. That’s all that matters.” He grinned at me and I felt myself melt.
“Get in the car. I have plans for you.”
He chuckled.
The sky was a light grey color and it was snowing gently as I drove. It was the perfect day for what I had planned. He reached over and grabbed my hand, smiling at me. I smiled back and he kissed the back of my hand. When we reached the ski slopes, I parked and turned to him. “I hope you’re warm enough.”
“What do you plan to do? Bury me in the snow?” He quirked an eyebrow.
“No, I like you too much to bury you in the snow. We’re going snow tubing.”
“Snow tubing? What is that?”
“You’ve never been snow tubing?” I exclaimed, amazed that he had never heard of it. He shook his head. “It’s only one of the most amazing things to do in the winter. It’s like sledding, except you get in a giant inner tube and ride down the hill. It’s awesome, trust me.”
We went into the lodge and got everything we needed to go. When we stood outside and Will looked at the hill, he looked nervous. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m not sure about this, Ry. I’m not really fond of heights.”
“It’s okay. I’m here with you. I won’t let anything happen to you.” I grabbed his hand and squeezed it, offering him support. We climbed the hill and he continued eying it like it was a huge mountain. “I’ll go first to show you that you’ll be perfectly fine.” I sat in my tube and waved before taking off down the hill. I flew down the hill, laughing as the frigid wind bit at my face and made my eyes water. When I reached the bottom, I scrambled out of my tube and watched as Will made his way down. At first, he looked scared, though he quickly relaxed and laughed. When he got to the bottom of the hill, I helped him up.
“That was a lot of fun!”
I shoved his shoulder. “See, I told you!” He grabbed my hand and we went back up the hill. We continued tubing until both of our faces were red from the cold and wind and I was chattering.
After turning in our snow tubes, he pulled me close and rubbed his hand up and down my arm as he directed us to the snack bar and bought us each a hot chocolate.
“It’s really fucking cold out there,” I said as I sipped my hot chocolate.
“Yeah, it is. But it was fun.”
“I thought you would enjoy it.”
I had two cups of hot chocolate before I stopped chattering. Will kept me close to him and I loved it. When we were done with our drinks, I pulled him up and dragged him to the car.
“It’s time to go or we’ll be late.”
“Late for what?” he asked, studying me through narrowed eyes.
“You’ll see.”
He looked at me like I was crazy. “What are we doing here, Ry?”
“We’re going to check out the fish.” I climbed out of the car, suddenly nervous that he wouldn’t like what I had planned. I’d had to ask the bartender at work if he would help me out. He worked part-time at the restaurant to supplement the money he got from the aquarium.
“Okay,” he said, skeptically.
I pulled him through the aquarium and showed him all the fish. Checking my watch, I saw that it was time for what I had planned. We walked toward the door and waited outside of it. Will studied me, obviously confused.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
“You’ll see.”
Tim walked up then. “Hey, Ryanne,” he said. “You must be Will.” He extended his hand and shook Will’s hand.
; “Hey,” Will said, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye.
“Will, this is Tim. I work with him at the restaurant. He’s going to give us a behind-the-scenes tour.”
“Oh, that’s cool.” He looked back at Tim as though he wasn’t sure.
Tim took us through the door and showed us around. He stopped at each aquarium and gave us a little bit of information about each fish. The longer Tim showed us around, the more interested Will seemed to be. He peered into the tanks and asked questions, occasionally shooting me smiles. The next stop on the tour was the sharks. Tim offered to let us feed them and I backed away quickly. There was no way I was getting close to them.
“Come on, Ry. It’ll be fun.” Will grinned at me and tried to pull me closer.
“No way in hell. Nope. I don’t want them to jump out and eat me.” I tried to pull my hands out of Will’s grasp, afraid that he’d pull me too close and I’d become shark bait.
“It’s perfectly safe,” Tim said.
I glared at the traitor.
“You’ll be fine. I’m with you,” Will said. I shook my head and he let me go. “Okay. I’d like to feed them, though.” Will threw food into the tank and we watched the sharks eating. It was really interesting to see …
From a distance.
Next, Tim took us down a long hallway and opened the door. When we stepped inside, we were standing in the middle of the penguin exhibit. Tim explained which kind of penguins they were and described the relationships between them. Will stood behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder as we listened and watched the penguins.
“Wow,” Will said, his breath tickling my neck. “This is amazing.”
“Yeah.” I leaned back into him, loving the feel of him wrapped around me.
Our tour was over, so we thanked Tim and left. Before I was able to open my car door, Will pulled me to him and kissed me.
“Thank you for that. It was amazing and totally not something I would ever think about.”
“You’re welcome. I wanted to do something special for you.”
“Just being with you is special, Ry. Anything else is a bonus.”
I hugged him, then rested my head against his chest and listened to the rhythm of his heartbeat.
There was a pizza place right down the road, so we decided to climb in the car and go eat there, then back to my house to watch a couple movies. Jax watched a comedy with us before heading up to bed. As soon as Jax was out of the room, I curled up closer to Will, practically crawling into his lap. His fingers brushed over the exposed skin on my hip and side, and every movement from his fingers caused my heart to skip a beat. His hands moved to my hips and they pressed my body closer to him as I kissed him deeply.
I needed more, so I yanked his shirt off. I needed to feel him pressed against me, I needed to feel his skin on mine. He looked at me questioningly. My only answer was to pull his lips back to mine. I ran my fingers over the lean muscles on his torso.
Will moved so I was lying on my back, pressed into the couch with him over me. His hand moved up my shirt, caressing me, and the hunger I felt for him spread like wild fire inside of me.
He ran one of his hands down my side and pulled my shirt off. His breath caught in his throat as he leaned down and kissed above my heart. I closed my eyes, loving the feel of his lips against my body. “You are so incredibly beautiful,” he whispered. He kissed his way up my neck to my chin and I stifled a moan. I wanted to feel him everywhere. His hands danced over my skin as I pressed him closer to me and wrapped my legs around his waist, getting lost in the feel of him.
The door to the garage opened and slammed shut.
“Shit, shit, shit!”
Will jumped off me and grabbed his shirt off the floor. I scrambled to pull my shirt on and tried to smooth my hair. Will pulled his phone out and checked the time. “I should probably go,” he whispered.
“Yeah.” I took a deep breath, trying to get my heart under control.
My dad rounded the corner and walked into the kitchen, placing a stack of folders on the counter. “Hi, guys. I wasn’t expecting you to still be here, Will. It’s after midnight.”
“Yeah, I’m leaving now. We just finished a movie.”
My dad looked between the two of us and his eyes narrowed slightly. “Well, it was good seeing you. I’m sure I’ll see you again later.”
“Goodnight, Mr. Morgan.” Will turned to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “Night, Ryanne.”
My insides clenched. “Night.”
He smiled at me and left.
I said goodnight to my dad and went up to my room, collapsing on my bed and closing my eyes with a smile on my face.
Will
JAX HAD MENTIONED SEVERAL TIMES that the two of us never hung out anymore, so I invited him over. I had no idea what we’d do, but we usually figured something out. I heard Jax talking to Aunt Liv downstairs before he climbed the steps and made his way into my room.
“What’s up?” I asked. Jax pulled the other beanbag chair over and sat down.
“Not much. Let me join in.” He grabbed the controller. We played in silence. I wondered what was bugging him, but I knew better than to ask him. He would tell me what was going on when he was ready.
A half an hour later, he put his controller down and ran a hand through his hair. “If I don’t tell you this, I think I’m going to go insane. I need someone else to know and to read what I read so they can tell me that I read this right.”
I turned the console off. “What?”
He picked up a small notebook from the floor and handed it to me, looking at it like it was the enemy. I turned it over in my hands, confused. It was smaller than a normal notebook that looked closer to a journal—worn, brown leather and the edges of the paper were yellowed with age. I opened it and flipped through the pages until an envelope fell out. I looked up at Jax, questioningly. “Read the first couple entries, then the letter.”
I opened the notebook and read it.
January 20, 1994
Dan Morgan came into work again tonight. He sat in my section and flirted with me. As much as I like him, I’m afraid of anything happening. With my condition, I don’t think it’d be a good idea to date anyone right now. But, God, I want him. I want him so badly.
February 14, 1994
Dan came into work yesterday and begged me to go out with him. He said he didn’t care that I was pregnant with someone else’s baby, he still wanted me. As much as I wanted to turn him down, I couldn’t. I like him so much it’s ridiculous and I can’t stop thinking about him, so I decided to go out with him. I just got back from the date and it was amazing. He was so sweet and thoughtful and amazing. He is everything I thought I always wanted and could never have, especially at this point in my life.
When he picked me up, he had a box of chocolates, a bouquet of roses, and some ice cream. He said he knew women liked chocolate and ice cream and he thought a pregnant woman would probably love those things a lot more. Then he took me to this amazing Italian restaurant where I ate too much food and had this delicious chocolate dessert. The entire time I ate, he watched my lips. It was as though he couldn’t take his eyes off me.
After dinner, we took a little bit of a walk even though it was cold out. He held me close and told me about himself. He’s an engineer. He noticed me the first time he came into work and knew he had to have me. I tried to hide my face when I smiled, but he told me never to hide my face because I was gorgeous and my smile was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
He dropped me back off at my apartment and kissed me goodnight. The way he kissed me was amazing! There is no way to describe his kiss. I had never been kissed that way in my entire life. I didn’t think anyone could ever kiss me the way he did. He made me feel things I never thought I would. There is no way I can avoid him now.
April 25, 1994
I can’t believe it! Dan and I got married today! It was fast, but it feels so right! Things
have been so good between us and I know I want to spend the rest of my life with him. He’s so good to me. He said he loved the baby even though he’s not the father, and he said he wanted us to be married before the baby came, so we just decided to elope. Now I’m Mrs. Leslie Morgan!
I put the journal down and looked at Jax. “Whose is this?”
“It’s my mom’s.” He looked everywhere but at me.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, it’s my mom’s fucking journal.”
“That means…”
“Yeah, that my dad isn’t Ry’s dad.”
“Wow.” It was lame, but that was all I could think to say. “Have you told Ryanne yet?”
“No, I can’t tell her. She’ll be crushed. I can barely handle it.”
“How long have you known?”
“My dad went nuts one day and trashed his room. He made me clean his room with him the next day and I saw the journal. Ry and I know nothing about our mother, so I took it, hoping it would shed some light on why she left us.” He stared at the wall. “Instead, I found a journal full of things that completely change everything and a stupid letter inside. My dad must have opened the letter and that caused him to trash his room.”
“What do you mean?”
“The date on the envelope says it was mailed five days before Thanksgiving. My dad got the mail the day before Thanksgiving, so I bet he opened the letter and read it and that’s why he trashed his fucking room.”
“Wow.” I was at a loss for words. This could change everything. I hoped Jax and Ryanne could look past this and realize it didn’t matter who their biological parents were, they would always be siblings, but I imagined it would be hard to realize your entire life had been a lie.
“The last thing I expected was to find out that my dad isn’t Ry’s dad.” He ran a hand through his hand and grabbed the back of his neck, looking like he was going to become unhinged.
“You have to tell Ry, Jax. She deserves to know.”
“Read the letter.” He nodded his head toward the envelope in my hand. I unfolded it and read it.