by T. K. Rapp
“I said, I lo—” He didn’t get to finish that because I crashed my mouth against his and poured all that I couldn’t say into that kiss.
We were about to make love and he was going to say the words that most women want to hear before they give in. But they were the three words that terrified me.
So I tried my best to push them out of my head and focus on the man who somehow managed to poise himself over me. His finger trailed along the lacey waistband of my underwear, teasing and affecting me in ways I hadn’t been in a while. I lifted my hips off the bed so he could slide them off and waited anxiously while he discarded of his shorts and boxers.
I could feel him against me, and it was enough to shove all of the worries out of my mind, leaving only him and me.
“Are you sure?” he asked. “We don’t have to do this tonight.”
“You don’t want to sleep with me?” I asked, suddenly alarmed.
He exhaled loudly and then kissed me once before answering. “I think we both know I want to.”
I ran my fingers from his shoulders, down his back until they reached his waist and I pulled him against me. Our breaths mingled in the air between us before he slowly pushed into me.
Words…so many words wanted to come out, but I kept my mouth shut by kissing him and focusing on anything to keep them tucked safely inside as we continued making love.
The last thing I remembered hearing as I fell asleep in his arms that night was the whisper of those words when he thought I couldn’t hear them. I squeezed my eyes a little tighter and waited for sleep to take over.
Chapter 31
WYATT
“I’m so nervous,” Vi kept saying over again.
“It’s just a coffee shop,” Callie said. “No one’s going to sign you tonight.”
“Thanks,” she mumbled.
“You’re going to do fine,” Kirk said to her. “Just do it like we rehearsed.”
I didn’t like that they’d spent the afternoon after we had sex working on something that seemed to be deeply personal. She had sent me a few flirty texts, but until she came into the coffee shop that night, I hadn’t seen her.
I didn’t know what Viola and I were, but I knew that she shared her words with Kirk. It wasn’t my place to feel jealous, but I was. I wanted to know everything about her, but if I had learned one thing about Viola, it was that she needed to go at her own pace. The night before was all her, and I was more than happy to repeat it as necessary.
It didn’t go unnoticed by me that she had mildly freaked out when I’d told her I loved her. I didn’t mean for the words to come out, but I had fallen for her. There was so much about her to love, and I was determined to break through her walls because she was worth the effort.
“I’ll be in my office if you need anything,” I said as I stood up.
Viola got to her feet and tugged at my hand, her brows pinched together with worry. “You’re not watching?”
I kissed her forehead and then her lips. “Of course I’m watching. Just getting some things done before you go on. Okay?”
“Okay.” She smiled.
I leaned down and whispered in her ear. “Not sure how much I’ll get done, because I can’t stop thinking about last night.”
When I pulled away, she smiled up at me and I noticed the tinge of pink on her cheeks. That was enough to hold me over for a while, so I left her at the table with everyone.
Emma was standing behind the counter talking to Mike, and barely acknowledged my presence as I rounded the corner. She’d been spending more time with him, and it was then that I realized how much she’d actually been around the shop before. Until Viola had pointed out how Emma felt about me, I hadn’t once noticed the way she looked at me.
I had been in my office for a while looking over some papers when Busy knocked on the frame and smiled.
“She’s next.”
“Thanks.”
I dropped what I was doing, and walked out beyond the counter and leaned against the corner to watch. Vi was settling onto the stool at the front of the stage, somehow managing to trip and hit her guitar in the process. She smiled nervously and looked around the space at the customers waiting for her to sing.
I’d been told by some who performed for open mic that the lights weren’t bright enough. These people didn’t say it to be assholes—they simply hated being able to see everyone in front of them. It made them nervous. I was sure that’s what was happening to Vi at that moment.
She cleared her throat and started to speak.
“Hey, I’m Vi. And I guess I’m gonna sing something.” She started strumming the guitar and stared down as her fingers began to play chords.
The crowd that came in to listen to the performers was as diverse as you could get and were always supportive of one another. She’d been there enough times to know that, but she was shaky, at best.
She raised her mouth to the microphone and closed her eyes as the first words began to come from her.
I wasn’t looking for you.
She opened her eyes and smiled in my direction while she sang the first verse, when a sudden look of panic flashed across her face. She was struggling to get the words out as she glanced from me, the guitar in her hands, and at the restaurant door.
“Is she okay?” Busy asked quietly. “She’s looking at that door like she’s about to bail.”
I nodded encouragingly at Vi, hoping she would continue, but she just kept looking around.
“She’s fine,” I said. “Probably just nervous.”
Busy walked back to the counter to help a customer that walked in, and Vi forced herself to keep playing, but it was bad. Suddenly the music stopped and the microphone squealed as she spoke.
“I’m sorry…I can’t…” She stammered and then rushed off the stage toward the table where Jolie was waiting.
Jolie’s arm wrapped around Vi’s shoulder and she glanced over in my direction. I made my way to check on her, but as I got closer, I realized she wasn’t looking at me, she was looking through me. Viola’s features were unreadable, and as I got closer I reached out for her arm but paused when I heard a voice behind me speak.
“Are you okay?” a man’s voice asked.
I turned around and looked to see a blond, tattooed guy staring at Viola.
“She’s fine,” Jolie said angrily. “You need to go.”
“Who is this guy?” I asked.
“Banks!” Kirk said. “When did you get in town?”
He stood up and shook the man’s hand, both smiling at each other.
“Just got in,” he said, and then looked at everyone sitting at the table. “Sorry. I’m Will. Vi’s husband.”
“Ex-husband,” she corrected. “This is my ex-husband.”
“Not yet, I’m not,” he said smugly, and for the first time since I was a kid, I wanted to hit someone. “Can we talk?”
“This isn’t a good time,” she said and then turned to me. “Earp, can I use the phone in your office?”
I didn’t know what that was supposed to be code for because I didn’t have a phone in the office. Hell, I was certain Vi had her cellphone in her bag. But I didn’t argue. She walked away quickly and it was then I realized that all eyes in the coffee shop were on the scene that had just taken place.
I hurried to the stage and stood in front of the microphone.
“Sorry about that. Never know what’s gonna happen here. Hey Bob, are you out there?” I looked around for the burly biker that everyone loved.
“Right here,” he said. I didn’t have to ask him to come up because he was already on his way. I stepped aside to give him space and patted his shoulder.
“Thanks, man. I owe ya.”
“Hope everything’s okay,” he mumbled, away from the crowd.
“Me too.”
Bob began playing, and though a few were still trying to see what happened, most were watching him. I made my way through the tables and found Jolie talking to our friends. Dallas caught me lo
oking and nodded his head toward my office. I knew where she was, but he kept doing the nod. My brow furrowed and Dallas’s eyes widened as if he was trying to convey some message to me. When I didn’t get the hint, he lifted his hand and swiped from left to right and then pointed to my office.
I got it that time.
I neared the office and looked in, expecting to see her there, but it was empty. Viola would have been seen easily if she went out the front door, so there was only one other place she could be.
The back door was propped open with the rock we used when we were dealing with deliveries. When I got to the end of the dark hallway, I saw her back to me and smiled. But as I got closer, I noticed she was wrapped in Will’s arms, her own around his waist.
He kissed the top of her head and it felt like I was intruding on a deeply personal moment. I was about to back away and go inside when I saw her look up at Will and they kissed.
There it was, the reason she pushed me away at every chance. She wasn’t over a man who didn’t deserve her in the first place. I wasn’t sure who I was more angry with—her for not thinking she deserved better. Or me, for allowing myself to pursue someone who had made it clear from the beginning that she wasn’t interested.
Not going to lie…it stung. Seeing her in his arms, his lips on hers—jealously wasn’t a color with which I was too familiar.
“She okay?” Emma asked when I got to the counter.
“Yeah,” I scoffed and then forced a smile. “She’s great.”
“You okay?”
“Can you handle things in here for a few? I need to run to the store,” I lied.
“Yeah, we got this.”
Jolie caught me look over in their direction, but I walked out the front door and into the night. It was relatively quiet except for the usual evening traffic. I took out my phone and used the break to call and check on my folks. I’d spoken to them earlier that day, but it gave me an excuse to be absent from the shit inside.
“I thought you have something going on at the store tonight,” Dad said.
“Yeah. Just wanted to check and make sure you two didn’t fall again.”
“Your mom’s watching some sappy chick movie in the living room and I’m reading a book.”
“You two are always livin’ on the edge,” I mocked.
“You’d be lucky to have this life,” he shot back and laughed.
“You’re right about that.” I smiled.
The door opened behind me and I stepped aside, assuming a customer was leaving, but when no one came, I looked back. Emma was waiting to get my attention and I lifted a finger to stop her before ending the call.
“I need to get back inside. Tell Mom I’ll check on you both tomorrow.”
“Just come by for lunch. And bring Vi.”
I didn’t argue or agree. Instead, I said my goodbyes and tucked the phone in my pocket before giving Emma my attention.
“You need to see this,” she said.
We had hosted some entertaining acts since I started open mic night, like the guy who would do nothing but beatbox for two minutes.
“I need to make another call,” I said.
“No. You need to come inside. Now.” She reached over and grabbed my arm, pulling me through the door behind her.
We walked near the counter and she dragged me to the back with everyone who was staring up at the stage. I followed their view and saw Vi, sitting on the stool again, guitar in hand.
“Sorry about before,” she laughed nervously. “Guy drama.”
Everyone laughed quietly and she began to strum the guitar like she did before.
“I just wrote this song today, so if I sounds like shit…well, whatever,” she laughed. “This is called ‘You’re All I See.’”
I wasn’t looking for you
But fate had other plans.
You tried to break down my walls
Ready to catch me if I fall.
My secrets and my shame
Ran deeper than I could admit.
How could I expect you to care
When I treated you so unfair.
But when I woke, you were there.
Holding. Caring. Loving.
The greatest gift you gave me
Was a second chance.
I’m not perfect, on that
I think we both agree.
But give me time, I’ll be good for you
You are all I see.
When the darkness fades
And I need someone
To show me the other side…
It’s you I want.
It’s you I need.
You are all I see.
When she finished, String Beans erupted in applause and she smiled as she left the stage. A few people shook her hand or patted her on the back.
I was standing behind the table and she stopped in front of me. I didn’t know what to think of her song. Was it about us? Was it about Will?
“Say something.” She laughed nervously.
“Where’s Will?”
“He left.”
“Why?”
“Because I told him it’s over between us. He wanted to try one last time to see if we could work it out.”
“And?”
“I told him no.”
I nodded, but wasn’t completely convinced by anything she was saying.
She shifted nervously on her feet and looked around. “Full disclosure…he did kiss me.”
My nostrils flared and I took a deep breath. At least she was honest. She touched my arm and waited for me to look at her.
“But I felt nothing. Nothing.”
“Why is that?”
She rolled her eyes and huffed loudly before smiling up at me. “Because I love you. I’ve moved on and I’m finally happy, truly happy. I know what I want and where I need to be.”
“Where’s that?”
“Wow, you’re not making this easy for me,” she laughed.
I crossed my arms over my chest and cocked my head to the side. “Frustrating, isn’t it?”
Vi narrowed her eyes and bit the corner of her lip.
“So you were saying…”
“I’m where I’m supposed to be. Everything brought me to this point in my life. Here. Doing my thing…with you,” she said. One side of her mouth quirked up and she looked at me wide-eyed. “I thought all of that was pretty clear with the song I just sang.”
I sighed and took a step away from her, and watched as her face went serious. I didn’t want to torture her anymore, so I quickly moved back in front of her and wrapped my arms around her waist, holding her against me.
I kissed her once and the whispered in her ear. “So you love me, huh?”
“Does your boss know you flirt with the customers?” Vi shook her head and laughed as she repeated the question from the first time we met.
“Maybe you should go to his office and tell him.”
She grabbed my hand and pulled me behind her. “I think I should.”
Chapter 32
WILL
I never gave her enough credit.
The first time I saw Vi, there was a spark in her, a fire in her eyes. The way she spoke about the band on the stage, she said everything I thought. I fell in love with her spirit and the way that she loved me.
Everything about us together was electric, until real life set in. I was chasing the dream of becoming a rock star, while Vi cheered me on. If I’m honest with myself, she was the talented one of us. And instead of encouraging her, I watched her shove her dreams and her goals so far down that I didn’t recognize her anymore.
I didn’t fall out of love with Viola. I just didn’t think I deserved her anymore. Maybe I was looking to be caught.
I didn’t want her to leave.
But when she did, I barely did anything to stop her. A part of me always believed that she would come back and we’d pick up where we left off. But none of that was fair to her. Every time she called me, I made sure she knew there was someone else aro
und. I wanted her to be the one to walk away.
And then she did, and everything in my life went to shit. I knew Kirk and the guys had a show in L.A.; they invited me to go, but I declined. I wasn’t sure how Vi would react to seeing me after calling me in Vegas.
“I saw Vi,” Kirk said when he called me after his show.
“Yeah? How was she?” I asked, trying not to sound too eager.
I hoped she was a wreck because she really didn’t want a divorce. I needed to know that she was as messed up as I was.
“Damn good. She got up and sang with us,” Kirk said proudly. “She was awesome. Crowd ate it up.”
“The song you two wrote?”
“She told you about it?” he asked, clearly surprised I knew.
Vi had never told me that she wrote the song with Kirk; I figured it out when I came home early one night. They were sitting in the living room with their guitars and sheet music. I waited outside and listened while she sang. She sounded amazing. And then I heard her tell him it was their secret; she didn’t want me to know.
“Nah. I guess I always knew.”
“That’s messed up. Why didn’t you tell her?”
“She didn’t want me to know.”
“No wonder you two are separated.”
“She filed for divorce,” I said, taking a swig of my beer.
I heard his sigh on the other end before he spoke. “Guess that explains the guy.”
“What guy?”
“The guy she introduced me to at her place. Wyatt something. Decent guy.”
“So she’s seeing someone,” I admitted aloud. I wasn’t looking for his acknowledgment on that one.
“There’s an open mic at this String Beans coffee place and she’s going to sing tomorrow night.”
“You’re sticking around there for a while?”
“Just to see her sing and then we have to get moving,” he said. “You should come watch her.”
He said it flippantly—or maybe it was his subtle way of telling me I needed to show up.
“I gotta go, man. The bar is starting to get busy. Talk soon.”