I’d never been the guilty party. I wasn’t sure what you were supposed to say in these situations. Did I plead my case to the jury?
Koz spoke before I had the chance. “I don’t understand. I thought—”
“Change of plans.” Callon turned, his eyes accusing.
I found myself staring at the trees behind him, unable to hold his gaze.
Koz stepped closer. “But—”
“Tuesday can come with us, but not the other one.”
I wasn’t even Teddy anymore. I was “the other one.” I crossed my arms in front of my chest and held my chin up. Maura had always told me to keep my chin up. I wasn’t sure exactly what it accomplished, but I was floundering right now, so chin up it was.
It might not be my proudest moment, but I’d done what I had to. He acted as if I’d slaughtered all his men in their sleep. Was it really that bad? I’d go wherever he went and he could ignore me. It was a year of my life I was sacrificing, not his. I’d been ready to tell him all of this, too, but he’d been so busy condemning me for decisions he couldn’t possibly understand. I knew I’d wronged him, but had I really committed something bad enough for him to react like this?
Tuesday took a step closer to me, broadcasting her position before she said anything. “I go with Teddy.”
Koz’s eyes shot to hers. Hers to his.
Was this the guy for her? It sure looked like it.
I couldn’t take this from her. “You should—”
Her arm looped through mine. “I’m staying,” she said, even as her eyes remained locked with Koz’s, something poignant in them that I could only guess at. It might be an apology, or maybe it was more of a wish it could’ve worked out. Only the two of them knew.
If the witch had done what she’d said, and I was pretty certain she had, they weren’t getting far anyway. If the witch hadn’t been able to do it, did I want her to be stuck with me when she had a chance at something normal? I was a two-ton albatross on my lightest day. Anyone attached to me had a good chance of sinking straight to the bottom alongside me.
“Tuesday, you should go with them.” I tried to tug my arm out of her grip.
She held on tighter. “No.”
I didn’t continue arguing. I knew Tuesday. When she dug in, you couldn’t pry the shovel from her hands.
“We can’t leave them here,” Koz said to Callon.
Callon turned and walked away, Hess and Zink behind him. “We can and we are.”
Only Koz remained. He dug into his pocket and pulled out some gold coins. He thrust them at Tuesday. “Here. Take these and get a room inside. I’m going to go try and talk to him. I’ll figure something out.” He covered the hand she was holding the coins with. “Don’t. Leave. I will be back.”
“I won’t,” Tuesday said.
If it was anyone else, I would’ve said they were full of it. They were never coming back. But not Koz. When he wanted to come back, he did. I knew firsthand, and it didn’t take a spell to force him.
Koz left and joined up with them as it hit me. If Koz had planned on leaving us at the next village, was it really that big of a deal to part ways now?
He’d had no intention of leaving her.
“Tuesday, did you have some arrangement with Koz?” I asked.
“No, why?”
“Nothing.” If Koz didn’t make it back, this wasn’t the best conversation to have.
We watched their backs fade into the night, and then Tuesday tugged at my arm. “Are you sure about that witch?”
“If you’d been in that tent, you’d believe.” I shuddered thinking of the memory. I didn’t care what anyone said. Something very strange and powerful had gone down that day. As someone well versed in strange, that was really saying something.
14
We sat on the stoop, watching as the men disappeared into the shadowy darkness of the trees. Koz turned around right before they were out of sight, holding up a finger to tell us it would only be a minute or two. It wouldn’t be that quick, but if my guy was right, they’d all be back.
Tuesday perched her elbows on her knees. Her chin hit her palm and her stare was fixated on where they’d faded from view. “What if you’re wrong?”
“Then I’m wrong. We give Koz some time to come back. If he doesn’t, we leave in the morning. It’s not like we planned on staying with them anyway. This changes nothing.”
It was even better. It was. I mean, yeah, part of me might’ve started to like having the guys around a little. But this was better. Definitely. We didn’t need them.
A small sigh escaped Tuesday’s lips.
“You could still catch up to him.” I didn’t look at her. I didn’t want to see the sad eyes.
Her wild hair brushed my arm as she shook her head. “No. If he doesn’t come back, he’s not the one for me.”
“I’ll understand if you go with him.” If she left, I’d be on my own. If she stayed, I’d have company but I’d always worry for her. Koz was someone who would be able to take care of her. The scales in this situation were abundantly clear. She was much better off making a trade.
“I’m not leaving you to go run after some man who might not come back for me.” Her words were firm, and they sounded good.
Until sad sigh number two hit.
“Either stop sighing or go. The sighing means you want to go, and I don’t want to hold you back.”
Her hair hit my arm again. “The sighing is premature mourning of a man who wasn’t who I hoped he’d be. It has nothing to do with you. If he leaves me here, I don’t want him.”
“Then don’t mourn yet. He might be back.”
“That’s not the way I do things.” Her voice was a little shrill on that last answer.
To each his own. If she wanted to mourn, I should let her do it. Right?
The pair of crows that had been eavesdropping in the woods found a new perch on the roof and cawed a few times.
Tuesday leaned back, taking in the duo. “Are your crows laughing at me?”
“They’re waiting with us. I think they like to stay apprised of all the happenings.” Those caws sounded a bit like cackling, but I wasn’t going to tell her that. It was bad enough to be possibly abandoned. Mocking crows would definitely bring on another round of sighs.
“They’re really annoying me.” She stared upward, and from her expression, the crows were lucky she didn’t have a ladder.
“Ignore them.”
I ignored them all the time. The crows were just a nuisance. We had bigger issues to deal with. The witch thought I needed Callon, but I didn’t. Yes, having a beast to protect you might come in handy, but it didn’t matter.
If the spell didn’t work, who cared? We’d head toward the west coast, as far as the land went. Even Turrock wouldn’t span a continent to get me. He’d give up. I could handle this fine without Callon.
I was ten minutes into planning—and Tuesday’s chin perch had sunk another few inches lower—when I felt it. I’d begun to think Callon had been right, and all that hocus-pocus with the witch had been a charade, until I felt the tug. It was as if I had a rope was tied around my waist and had been pulled taut.
“Something is happening.”
“Really?” Tuesday’s head shot up from her palm.
There were another bunch of tugs in rapid succession.
“Definitely.” I tried to shimmy back toward the step behind me but couldn’t budge, like I was anchored to something. I had a feeling that I’d be able to go forward, in the direction Callon had gone, though. I didn’t want to lose my seat while I waited, so I didn’t test it.
“What? Why are you making that face? This is good, right?” Tuesday asked.
I felt some more tugs.
“Not only do I think it’s working, I think he might be really mad about it. He was already really mad to begin with.”
There were another twenty tugs in less than a few seconds. How was he moving that fast? He must’ve shifted, trying to push past the inv
isible wall I was feeling. “Oh yeah, he’s mad. Stay near Koz when they get back.”
“He won’t hurt you,” she said, her faith continuing.
“Either way, I’ll ride it out. It won’t be any worse than what I’ve already dealt with.” What could he do to me that hadn’t already been done? Scar me again? I didn’t care anymore. There was no use for a pretty face when all I wanted was to go off and live out the rest of my life alone.
Five minutes later, I heard them coming. They were much louder arriving than they’d been departing. Koz was in front, as he broke into our vision with a smile. Hess looked like he was taking a stroll. Zink looked pissed, so same old there.
Callon was last, striding right for me like a bull at a cape. He had no right to be angrier now, just because the witch had pulled it off. I’d told him she had.
Tuesday’s eyes were trained on Callon, and she began chewing on her nails like she hadn’t eaten in a month. “It’s a shock to the system, is all. He’s probably not as mad as he looks.”
“At least I have two healthy legs to run with.”
“Run where?” she asked.
“Out of range? At least your boy is back.”
Both of us fell quiet as the raging bull neared.
I got to my feet. If this was going to be a battle, I’d be as ready as I could be. Although, sitting or standing, I’d never be a match for the beast if he shifted.
Who was I kidding? I wasn’t a match for the man. A giggle formed as nerves swelled up. The acid burning a hole through my stomach dissolved it before it escaped my chest, though.
Callon was still charging in my direction. If he thought I was going to back up or run, he was wrong. I might flinch, but I didn’t retreat.
He stopped an inch shy of stepping on me. Anger rolled off him in waves. “We’re going to go see that witch and we’re getting this undone.”
Ah, shit. He still thought there was a way out. He might be more stubborn than I was. There would be no undoing it, not with Hera. Did I let him work this one out until the end, or did I try and tell him? Telling him hadn’t done much for the situation yet. But if we went back there and found out after days of traveling, I didn’t care what Tuesday thought—he’d kill me for sure.
Here we go again. “She won’t be there.”
His eyes narrowed and his nostrils flared. “What did you do?” His voice was soft, the way a lion was quiet before he killed his prey.
My palms were sweating and I had to unstick my tongue from the roof of my mouth. “She’s dead.”
“She’s dead?” Tuesday asked.
Did she have to sound so shocked? I knew I hadn’t told her about that part. I’d barely wanted to think about it myself. Still, she wasn’t helping the mood here.
“She could be lying,” Zink said, but he sounded like he believed me.
Callon stared down, his jaw shifting. “She’s not. That’s how Hera pulled it off. She used the last of her magic to perform a death spell.”
As our eyes held, I saw my possible death in his. That was how much rage showed. The only option at the moment was damage control. “I’ll go wherever you want to go. You won’t even know I’m there. Nothing will change with your life. It will all be on me.”
I studied his face, looking for some sign of softening. There was more softness in the boulder he’d pressed me against than what I saw. My spiel had done nothing.
He grabbed my shoulders, slowly lifting me to my toes and then up further until we were nose to nose. His grey eyes flared red. “Don’t you see what you’ve done? You sacrificed my life to save your own.”
Tuesday edged closer to my side, but I waved her back with my hand.
I met his burning rage with steel in my spine. I didn’t know where I got the nerve to face off with this man and not crumble. I didn’t cry. I’d given up on crying when I was ten, after I realized how much Baryn enjoyed it. Maybe it was all that practice under Baryn’s hands that had honed the strength in me. I’d been through worse, and I’d hopefully make it through this.
“You mean promising to follow you around for a year? Is that what you mean? Because it’ll be much worse for me than you, that’s for sure.”
He let go suddenly, and I wobbled as my heels hit the ground. He turned, taking a couple of steps away from me.
His back still to me, he said, “I have two choices. I’m either stuck with you at my side for the next year, protecting you so I don’t get caught and trapped in the process, or kill you myself so I can be free of this.”
That was where I’d really screwed him. He wouldn’t have a choice but to protect me. If Turrock got his hands on me, it wouldn’t be to kill me. Whoever he sold me to probably wasn’t planning on it either.
Tuesday believed Callon wouldn’t hurt me. I wasn’t so sure. Tuesday and I had grown up together in the same village, but I’d seen the underbelly of man that she’d often been spared. I knew the lows they would go to. The depths their egos would sometimes demand of them to prop themselves up.
Even if he only intended to beat me, he was a beast. He’d be stronger than most men. What if he broke something in my face, and not just my nose? What if he caved in my cheekbone? Could you live with a caved-in face?
“I did what I had to.”
I wouldn’t beg for my life. I’d never beg. If this was my time, then so be it. I’d fight like hell and die the way I’d always wanted to live. Fighting.
My life hanging by the merest thread, I waited to see if his claws would come out and snap it.
He stopped moving altogether.
“You crossed a line. Even if I don’t kill you, I’m not a priest. I don’t offer forgiveness.” His voice was gravelly, as if he were warring with himself, but his arms relaxed at his sides. His fingers uncurled.
Did that mean he wasn’t going to kill me? It didn’t seem like he was going to, even though that was probably his best option. He was a beast; he’d surely killed before.
“Then I won’t ask for it.” Seriously? That was the worst of it? No killing? No beating?
I waited for the relief to flood me, but it didn’t come. I should be happier, but I wasn’t. He hated me. I didn’t think that would taste so sour in my mouth or sit in my gut like a lump of lead.
He turned to Koz. “Watch her while I’m gone.”
He disappeared, but I knew for sure he’d be back this time.
“See? I was right. That didn’t go that badly.” Tuesday smiled, patting my shoulder before her eyes went round as she suddenly realized something. “Does that mean we get to stay here tonight? I’ve never gotten to stay in an eat and sleep.” She turned to Koz. “So we’re staying?”
A year. One year and I’d be free. That was it. I could deal with anything for a year. I’d dealt with a lot worse than someone not liking me.
15
I jerked awake the second the door to the room opened. Callon was standing in the doorway. His eyes searched the bed, where Koz and Tuesday formed two lumps. Koz had offered me the bed, but I’d insisted on taking a spot on the floor by the window.
Since the room was so small, Koz either had to sleep in the hallway or in the bed with Tuesday. She had insisted Koz sleep beside her for fear she’d wake and have a nightmare without him. I’d barely managed to keep my eyeballs from rolling right out of my head.
Callon took a step into the room, and Koz lifted a half-dead arm in my direction. “She’s over there.”
Callon’s eyes had already landed on me, and I would’ve sworn they weren’t silver at all now, but a deep red. Had he just changed back? Had he been out all this time as a beast?
The red faded as he headed toward me, but only slightly. I sat up, expecting a continuation of the fight from earlier. I shrank back as he bent forward, but that didn’t slow him down as I was thrown over his shoulder.
The last glimpse of the room was Tuesday still sound asleep. She could sleep through a tornado. Her shack back at the village had been right by the gate that had groaned all
day and all night. Koz nodded, half out of it and unfazed that I was being carried off.
Callon had finally cracked and was taking me outside to beat the hell out of me. He probably didn’t want to deal with Tuesday crying or Koz trying to stop him. I didn’t either. I’d take my lumps and deal with Callon on my own.
Callon shut the door behind us as he walked into the hall. I wouldn’t scream. I had too much pride to have the whole place peeking out to see what was going on. I’d wait for him to put me down. Then I was going to kick him right in the stones. I wasn’t going to just take it the way I used to. The days of sitting there waiting for the blows were over.
He didn’t walk very far. Only to the other end of the hallway. He dropped me to the floor. My knees wobbled, but as soon as I got my feet back underneath me, I angled my knee up. Before I could get a full swing, he was pinning me to the wall, a leg in between mine.
His chest pressed against me, hands caging me in.
I looked into his eyes that were definitely still reddish.
“Don’t,” he said, his canines peeking out longer than normal.
He was right on the edge, and part of me wanted to push him off it, see what would happen if I did. He looked the way I felt every moment of the day. He was walking an impossible line, one I knew that chafed me constantly.
If I pushed him over the edge, would I follow? Shed every last bit of fear inside me and finally break free of the chains that were woven into me from the day I was born? Chains that felt like they dragged my soul into the ground every morning when I woke?
“Don’t,” he repeated, and that was when I realized he could see where my thoughts were leading. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
He really wouldn’t. He was barely hanging on to his humanity and he still wasn’t going to hurt me. I exhaled, not realizing I’d been holding my breath.
Did I push him anyway?
No. I’d pushed him enough. I let me body go slack, letting the wall take some of my weight.
He moved one of his hands and opened a door beside us. Then slowly backed away from me until there was just enough room to edge off the wall. He lifted his other hand up, herding me into what looked like something closer to a closet with a window than a bedroom. A pallet lined the floor of the small space that appeared narrower than his shoulders.
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