by Liz Braswell
“I loved her,” she said.
“Good God!”
For the first time, his eyes weren’t focused on her; they were focused inward and saw something that must not have been a fairy-tale dragon: something monstrous from the pits of hell. Something that he never ever wanted to see again.
And so she told him her version of the story. Which didn’t involve Phillip at all. Which might have been why she had trouble remembering him clearly.
“Good Lord!” Phillip swore again at the end of it. “That is one of the most terrible things I’ve ever heard. You were all stuck inside that nightmare castle, believing it was the end of the world and you were the last survivors?”
“It was kind of brutal, now that I think about it. But we had food. And parties. Oh…that sounds stupid….”
Phillip frowned. “But if she controls the dream, why not have the entire world be like that? Like, actually utterly destroyed? Why have a place for you to escape to?”
“I don’t know, why would an evil fairy respond to not being invited to a party by cursing the baby it was for?” Aurora Rose said wearily. “None of this makes any sense. I don’t think I’ll ever understand what a normal life is like. With two parents and no magic and one version of reality.”
“You know, now that I actually think about it, it does seem a bit extreme, cursing a baby and all,” Phillip said, nodding.
Then he began to smile goofily.
“What?” Aurora Rose asked, suspicious.
“I’m inside your head. I didn’t know your name before and now I’m inside your head.” He could barely contain his grin.
“Huh.”
It was true, and it was a very strange thought…that led to a whole passel of other strange thoughts.
“So all the other…people…in the castle…They’re all real people…inside my head.”
She put a hand to her head; it suddenly felt much heavier, even though she knew she was imagining it.
“Are you sure?” Phillip asked. He pointed at the castle. “Like, those thorns aren’t in the real world. I mean, there are thorns all over the castle, but they’re normal and tiny and have flowers. And I can tell you from experience the land around here looks all screwed up. There should be a whole little village right there and a crossroads over there. And the forest should begin much farther away—it’s all fields and farms for several miles around.
“So maybe the other people aren’t all real—maybe they’re characters made up in your dream. I mean, you couldn’t possibly have known all the real people in the castle because you grew up in the woods. You never met them.”
Aurora Rose frowned. The poor Lady Astrid came to mind, and the things Maleficent said about her and her death.
“Well—you’ve been out and about and…‘prince-ing’ more than I have. Have you ever heard of a Lady Astrid?”
Phillip frowned. “Maybe. Who’s her husband?”
The princess gave him a steely look. “Not that it matters, but Duke Walter of the Five Trees.”
“Oh…yes! Retiring little fellow. About yay high,” Phillip said, his hand held below his shoulder. “Sensible man, my father always said. Lady Astrid is also a bit short, yes? And…kind of…rounded? And a bit of a religious fanatic?”
Aurora Rose had never thought of her that way—in the Thorn Castle, reading the same prayers every couple of hours seemed as useful a way to pass the time as any.
“What about Mistress Laura?”
“Oh, yes, I know her,” Phillip said with a rueful smile. “She moons after me all the time. Pretty little child.”
“And Count Brodeur?”
“Decadent, useless, scheming gossip,” the prince answered promptly. “But mostly harmless.”
“Well,” the princess said slowly, “then I would say yes—most of the people in the castle are real. I didn’t know any of them when I lived in the forest, but I’ve known them all for years here. And…I think…Maleficent needs to kill people and have them die in real life, too—to maintain herself here.”
“Good Lo—all right, I’ll stop saying that.”
“So maybe the world isn’t completely destroyed because she doesn’t have complete control over it. She needs real people to keep her going. And—it’s not her dream. It’s mine. She’s merely using parts of it. And she came up with an easy trick to keep everyone in line. An easily believable lie. ‘Don’t go out there—it’s all dead and poisoned. Stay here. Where I can watch you and use you.’”
“Or maybe,” Phillip said thoughtfully, “maybe she did try to create that nightmare world. Maybe she couldn’t—because you’re too strong.”
The princess blinked. It hadn’t even occurred to her as a possibility.
The cards. The bunny. The visions of the outside world. They weren’t monsters from the Outside trying to invade; that was her own self, trying to wake up. The fairies…
What had they said?
“Wake up, you don’t belong here. Wake up already! Do something!”
Her brain was weakly, slowly, but finally drawing the threads of connection between things.
“The fairies were there when you…uh…kissed me, right?”
“Yes—as far as I know they’re still there, in the real castle.”
“The castle is in the real world, and it’s here, too.” She thought hard. It hurt. In neither life had she been called on to think things out. But she needed to now. “Maybe they—and you—can’t get into the dream castle easily because of Maleficent’s spells. The fairies definitely tried to reach me and tell me things, but they vanished as soon as one of her minions appeared. So maybe…maybe if we found the cottage I think I grew up in—where they raised me, we could find them there? Or find some way of contacting them there? Instead of just waiting around for them to find me again?”
“That is an excellent plan!” Phillip said, picking her up and swinging her around again. She smiled cautiously, pleased that he liked it. He didn’t seem like someone who lied for the sake of someone’s feelings. She didn’t feel…humored.
He put her down and looked around them, evaluating the scene and the situation. Confidence seeped from him like the purest sweat. “As I said, this land is strange, but it sort of mimics the real world. That path over there will take us deeper into the forest, in the right direction.”
And so they began their adventure.
The way was easy but winding. Phillip would occasionally stop to climb a tree to see where they were in relationship to the castle. Otherwise he was just happy to be there by her side: he kept looking at her secretly, out of the corners of his eyes, picking little nuts and pretty leaves to show her, and generally acting like a boy madly in love with the creature next to him.
It was a little embarrassing, but not unpleasant.
“So we were in love?” she ventured.
“Madly. Still are!” Then he looked at her sideways, anxiously. “At least, I am….”
“But…”
“But what? What do you need me to do to prove it? I’ll do anything, my lady!” He stopped and got down on one knee. “Send me on whatever quest you will! Wouldst thou have me fetch thee the prettiest rose from the farthest reaches of the east? I shall! Bring thee an ancient sparkling treasure from cursèd ruins? Absolutely! Slay a dragon? Oh, wait, did that one already….”
Aurora Rose laughed. It tumbled out of her unguardedly and unstoppably—a thing she had experienced very rarely in the Thorn Castle. The prince smiled, pleased by his effect on her. She gave him a playful shove on his shoulder to force him to get up and start walking again.
She wouldn’t have dared try a gesture so familiar with anyone in the castle except for children—or maybe Lianna. But it just felt…right with Phillip.
Still…
“No, I mean, but—we only met once. Right?”
“Yep!” He reached his hand up and slapped a leaf unconcernedly.
“Isn’t that…I don’t know…kind of…strange?”
He looked at
her, shocked.
“No. It was love at first sight. That’s what it means. First. Sight.”
The princess scratched the back of her ear uncomfortably. It was an odd thing to find herself happy and free from everyone for the first time ever in her dreamworld life…alone…and then, suddenly, to just bump into a prince who, while handsome, funny, and nice, informed her that they were already life companions, basically betrothed.
“How long have you been out here, trying to get into the castle to rescue me?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” he shrugged carelessly. “Time is strange here. I swear I saw the moon and the sun in the sky together at night once. Months? Weeks? Weeks, likely. Haven’t been that hungry.”
“Months?”
This was a problem that involved adding things: units of measurement, time…difficult, slippery concepts to contain at once. She thought about the image of herself sleeping, the slowness of her breaths.
“I’ve been in the castle my entire life….How long were you in Maleficent’s dungeon? How much time was there between my falling asleep and you kissing me?”
“I’ve no idea. A few hours, maybe? The fairies were pretty quick.”
“So—time is much slower out there…in the real world…or much faster here.”
“That makes sense,” Phillip said, nodding. “I thought you looked older.”
“WHAT?”
Phillip shrugged sheepishly at the look she was giving him.
“I mean it in a nice way! More mature. More…” He started to move his hands—to indicate what, she could only guess—and then wisely hooked them onto his belt. “Um, mature.”
She humphed.
“Mature. Like a matron or some old mother or…mother…” She stopped, a wide black void opening up in her mind. “Mother…”
Five years old, curled up in Merryweather’s lap, getting a little big for such pastimes.
“Where is my mother? Where are my real parents again? I mean, you’re my real parents,” the chubby little girl said solicitously, touching her aunt on the chin. “I mean the ones who made me.”
The woman in blue looked up anxiously at Flora and Fauna, who were busy with little, quiet evening chores across the room.
“You know—they’re…dead,” Merryweather said. Perhaps Flora and Fauna frowned at her across the room. She shifted uncomfortably.
“Yes, but where? Can’t I visit where they are buried? Gather acorns or flowers from the land around so I may bring a piece of them home, to keep?”
Flora dusted off her hands on her apron and hurried over, as did Fauna.
“Little flower, they are all around you, don’t worry about that.”
“But what did they look like?” Rose pressed.
“Like you. But less pretty,” Fauna said, touching her on the nose.
“My father looked like me?” the girl asked, giggling. “Even though he had a…”
“Mustache, yes,” Flora finished quickly. “But your eyes are a bit like his. Kind and large.”
Rose sighed. “I wish I could have seen them, at least.”
And the aunts didn’t answer, but hugged her tightly.
“Steady,” Phillip was saying.
She was swaying, hands to her temples, trying desperately not to pass out because this memory brought up a lot of important things. Things she didn’t want to forget while she was being sick or unconscious.
“My parents aren’t dead,” she croaked through her dry mouth. “And they didn’t destroy the world. And they’re not evil. And my aunts lied to me. For sixteen years. And Maleficent lied to me. And OH MY GOD they were in the dungeon all those years and they weren’t under a spell like the rest of us!”
The conversation she had overheard between them and Maleficent when she was sneaking back into the castle…it all made much more sense now. Part of the queen’s cruelty was keeping them the only sane people left in the kingdom.
“I’m so stupid….All of those years! If I had just talked to them! What wasted time!”
“You’re not stupid, sweetest,” the prince said, running a hand through her hair. “Maleficent is a very clever, very powerful woman. She probably arranged things so that there’s no way you could have.”
That was true, but in a much more subtle way. The king and queen were set up as destroyers of the world, authors of the apocalypse everyone was hiding from. They were thrown into the deepest dungeon. Everyone knew they were insane and evil.
The one time Aurora had snuck down there she was too terrified by them to speak.
“I’m a coward,” she amended her previous statement. “Why didn’t I question anything, ever? Why didn’t I—see what was happening around me? Why didn’t I pay attention to the inconsistencies?”
“Because despite your—um, comely maturity—you’re still an innocent young—woman,” Phillip said.
She caught the pause and glared.
“I’m not a child! I’m—wait.” Her indignity faded with realization and weariness. “How old am I? Really? Oh, never mind. I’ll give you the ‘innocent’ part. I’ve never been outside my forest cottage or my dream castle. I’ve never known anyone beyond my aunt, a few villagers, and a limited number of castle refugees who are all asleep.”
She thought of Lady Astrid with a quick pain in her heart. She would have liked to have known the lady in real life. Would she have been the same sensible little woman?
“I just wish—I wish I had been a little bit less dense. Or something.” There were too many new ideas and old memories to keep track of. She still felt shaky from the last one that hit her. Maybe someday, when this was all over, she would have time to sort them all out.
The sooner the better.
“Are we getting close?”
“I don’t think so,” Phillip said slowly, reluctant to disappoint her. “When I found you it was closer to the other side of the woods, not so far from the last town before the deep forest began. It was several hours by horseback, so even in this land it will probably take some time.”
Time again. Time was confusing and made no sense. She wasn’t sure she could stand some time. If she let down her guard, mad streams of memories flowed and swirled around each other and crashed like competing currents in a creek; where they met, foam and chaos erupted.
“So you actually slew a dragon?” Aurora Rose pressed quickly, trying to quell her rising panic.
“Yes, I did, actually,” the prince said, cocking his head, enjoying the thought. “It was epic! When was the last time that happened? People will be singing about it for ages….”
He stopped, grinning ruefully. Aurora Rose found herself mirroring his smile, almost involuntarily. He had that effect on her.
“Well, to be honest, the fairies rescued me, gave me these magic items, and basically guided the sword into her heart,” he admitted. “Which did not, let me hasten to add, take away from the extreme fear and panic I felt as I faced the giant fire-breathing monster.”
“You were scared?”
“Terrified.”
“Really?” She was intrigued. On the one hand, she had this hazy memory of a beautiful boy with a shining steed.
On the other hand…it was kind of nice to hear that he was human.
“It’s not bravery if you don’t feel fear, right? If you’re not afraid, then you’re not really forcing yourself to do something brave.”
It sounded like he was quoting something he had been taught, but it also seemed like he truly believed it.
His face grew dark and clouded. “Her eyes were full of hate. Full. And…at the same time, empty. Soulless. Like those horrible creatures she keeps around her. The dragon was frightening…but Maleficent, she was bone-chilling.”
“That sounds terrible,” Aurora Rose said. It came out more fatuously than she intended.
He looked at her with wide, hurt eyes.
“I’m sorry,” she corrected herself. “It really must have been terrible. But…you faced a dragon and killed it, and it was ov
er.”
“Well, obviously not…”
“All right, but I have just learned that the world I thought I lived in for the past nineteen years is all unreal. A dream. It didn’t feel like a dream at the time—it still doesn’t, exactly. Each one of those years really, fully happened to me. And now I have these other memories, sixteen years’ worth, of what is supposedly the real world….”
“It is, trust me. I’ve lived there my whole life.”
“It was real for you, because you knew who you were, and you were raised by your own parents and lived in your own proper home. I was lied to about who I was, who my parents were, where my real home was, and what my aunts were! The real world, as you call it, was all a fake.
“So it’s a little hard to deal with right now, thank you. I would rather kill a dragon and get it over with than have to think about all of this!”
She was close to shrieking, despite trying very hard not to.
“Even the fake people in my fake dreamworld were fake. Er. Faker.” She paused to wipe her nose and tried not to feel like a child as she did so.
“Tell me about it,” Phillip said softly.
Replacing the anger were now tears that spilled down her cheek as she spoke. She wasn’t sure which she preferred.
“There was this girl, Lianna. She was my…this is so dumb…she was my best friend. When we all were confined to the castle, Maleficent found a girl close to my age and made her my handmaiden. Her parents were far away, killed by the demons of the Outside….Not really, though, I guess. Forget that part. The point is, she was odd but we were close. I told her everything. All the time. Who I liked and when I had my moon blood and everything.”
She stopped still, remembering Lianna being as confused by it as her fairy aunts had been. Of course, it made sense now; like them, she wasn’t human. She was a creature, a spirit called up from the depths and forced into the awkward shape of flesh Maleficent had managed to form.
I’m the opposite of Lianna, she realized. Aurora Rose had a body—a natural, real, pretty princess body that different lives and memories and ideas had been forced into. A real mother had given birth to her.