by Jacobs, Ann
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The beer had been a bad mistake. Hammers pounded in Jared’s head, reminding him he’d exceeded his usual limit of two last night—by more than he cared to think about. He blinked at his disheveled image in the bathroom mirror then splashed cold water into his bleary eyes.
After a long, hot shower he felt better. Vaguely, he recalled his early morning call to Laura. What had he done? Oh yeah, it was coming to him now
Shit. Jared knew without a doubt that Althea wouldn’t appreciate the stuff he thought he remembered telling Laura to send her. Hell, getting fancy baubles would only remind her how mad she was at him about surprising her with the land and building for her co-op.
So much for his brain on beer. He glanced at his watch. Seven o’clock. PM, not AM. If Laura had been her usual efficient self, Althea would have the first of his ill-conceived gifts by now.
He sat on the bed and picked up the phone. He even punched out the number of the land line at his cabin, but before the call could go through, he hung up. Because he’d promised Althea a week free from him, he wouldn’t go back on his word.
Instead, he called Laura. When she confirmed that she’d carried out his instructions, he silently cursed the woman’s efficiency. He learned that today Althea had received an aquamarine-and-diamond pendant. The matching earrings would come tomorrow, followed by a dinner ring and a tennis bracelet. A five-carat ruby carved in the shape of a heart and dangling from a gold bracelet would arrive Saturday, the day before he’d told her he’d be back.
Fire and ice. Like her. However angry the gifts might make her, Jared wanted her to have them.
Maybe she’ll think they’re fake. For a minute he let himself believe that. Fat chance. She’d hardly believe he’d start cutting corners when he was trying to impress the woman he loved.
I love her. He repeated the words, this time aloud, surprised they rolled so easily off his tongue. He’d said them to her before, but he realized now just how deeply he felt them.
As though she were here with him, he sensed her presence. What was she doing? Did she miss him? He imagined she’d be quilting now, drawing her needle in and out of muted green and navy-blue prints, following the edges of each small rectangle that made up the larger squares. He closed his eyes and pictured her long, slender fingers, pale against the darkness of the quilt’s forest-green border.
Gentle. Her hands were so calming, so restful, on the quilt or on her little niece’s soft, plump body. On his cheek, that night when she’d first told him she loved him.
He’d needed Marcie to be his business partner, to stand beside him in a world where he’d often felt alienated. When she’d left him, he’d felt vaguely disappointed.
Losing Althea would decimate him, though. He needed her to make him whole. She filled a void in his heart that he hadn’t realized was there before she came into his life.
Jared felt her presence everywhere, in the kitchen where she’d fixed them lunch and in the bedroom where she’d slept away the morning after they’d learned her sister-in-law was out of danger. Althea was his heart. His home.
If he had to, he’d get down on his knees and spill out the words of love he’d never fully felt before. Maybe they wouldn’t come so hard, now that his feelings had become crystal clear.
Hard or easy, he’d do whatever it took to hold onto the only woman who’d ever given him unconditional love. He’d even give her the four more days she’d asked for, with only his gifts to remind her he wanted to be the half that would make her whole.
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Without Jared in it, his bed felt terribly big and empty. Althea rolled over, hugging a pillow that made a poor excuse for his warm, muscular body. She should have gone back to her own cabin tonight, right after she’d put the final stitch onto his quilt.
It was funny but she felt his presence less here, where they made love and slept in each other’s arms, than downstairs. Or outside, on the mountain where he’d returned, apparently searching for something that was missing from his privileged life.
The geese would fly away from the mountains, but someday they’d come back. Like a wanderer who has finally come home.
She remembered Jared saying something like that the day they met. Perhaps he did belong here, more than in his costly, sterile condo in Atlanta. Maybe he belonged with her.
Rolling onto her side, she buried her face in a pillow that smelled faintly of his cologne. Oh, how she wanted to believe their worlds were not so far apart that they could never meet.
Moonlight shone through the wall of windows. Its soft light reflected off small diamonds that surrounded the pale blue stones in all but the latest of Jared’s gifts. Why had she left them on the night stand, where she couldn’t miss seeing them sparkle in the light of the moon? Silently they mocked her hopeful conjecture as they confirmed what she feared deep inside.
Jared might have been born in a cabin at the top of Big Bear Mountain, but his world now was miles from here. Miles from her own small universe.
She didn’t belong in a world where men bought mountains to indulge nostalgia and gave costly treasures as though they were dime-store trinkets. Jared might call himself a simple man. He might even believe he yearned for simple pleasures. But saying and being weren’t the same.
Though exhausted, she couldn’t sleep. Restless, she rolled over again then got up and sat on the edge of the big, oak bed, her gaze drawn to the present that had just arrived this afternoon. A heart-shaped, blood-red ruby on a charm attached to a bracelet made of polished gold links, it was different from the rest.
Why had he chosen gifts that underscored the chasm between them? Why couldn’t he have sent a simple bouquet of native flowers or made a quick call to say he loved her, the way Bill would have done?
Chapter Twenty-Four
“What would you do?”
The sound of his own voice made Jared take a step back. The full moon shone on flat markers and towering monuments in the cemetery beside the country church where Althea’s father used to preach. He shuddered at the plaintive howl of a wolf in the distance as he knelt beside the grave where her first love was buried.
In his head he knew Bill wouldn’t answer. The man was dead. He couldn’t hear Jared from his resting place beneath a slab of native granite. Bill had moved beyond human concerns, presumably to a place without earthly problems.
No one in his right mind would be jealous of a corpse, and Jared reminded himself he had less reason than most to envy Althea’s dead fiancé. He, not Bill, was the only man who’d ever shared her bed. He’d been the first to give her a woman’s pleasure.
Jared didn’t believe in ghosts. So why was he standing here looking for answers from a dead man? Why wasn’t he tiptoeing into his house at this moment, sweeping his woman off her feet?
Truth was, he was terrified, scared stiff that she’d throw him out. All because he tended to take things over, do things his own way. He was so fucking afraid that he was standing here in a cemetery at midnight, tempting whatever disembodied spirits might be lurking on the gentle mountain breeze.
He nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard his name called out in a harsh, masculine voice. His imagine had to be working overtime, he told himself, but then he saw Jim striding toward him. “You damn near scared me to death, man.”
Jim shot him a weird look. “What the hell are you doin’ in the graveyard this time of night?”
Jared shrugged. “Thinkin’. How about you?”
“I was working late on a set of custom cabinets. I saw your car as I was goin’ home and thought I’d make sure you’re okay.”
“I’m fine.” Jared hesitated then continued. “Have you heard from Althea this week?”
Jim shook his head. “Not since Monday. I’ve been over in Dahlonega working on this job. What’s up?”
The surroundings were starting to take their toll on Jared. “Why don’t we go over to the cars?” He turned, having to force himself to walk, not run.
Jim followed. When they got to the parking lot, he leaned against his van and gestured toward the grave they’d just left. “Is my sister worried about being untrue to him? She shouldn’t be. Last thing Bill would want would be for Althea to spend the rest of her life mourning for him.”
“A little, maybe. I think it’s more that she’s worried about being true to herself.”
“Huh?”
Jared realized what he’d just told Jim didn’t make a lot of sense. “Althea believes I want to take away her independence,” he said to clarify his previous statement.
“She shouldn’t ever have gone away to college. If she hadn’t, she wouldn’t have got those fancy women’s lib ideas.” Jim shook his head, as though the idea of a woman being her own boss was too much for him to digest. “What does she want, to keep her little quilt shop after you two get hitched?”
“Well, yes, but I don’t mind that. It’s that I made a big mistake, jumping in and making her craft co-op a reality when she wanted to do it all herself. You see, I went ahead, bought land and contracted for building construction, as a surprise for her. She was furious when she found out.”
Jim snorted. “How did she think she’d ever get that project off the ground without a man’s help? Local businessmen wouldn’t cough up enough money to get it started, even when it was Bill pushin’ the idea. When he died, so did the co-op. Until you stepped in, that is, and got the ball rollin’ again.”
Listening to Jim, Jared was beginning to see why doing for herself had become so important to Althea. Her own brother seemed not to realize what she had to offer or how much she’d accomplished by making a success of her shop in a few short years. “Yeah, I got the co-op rolling, all right.” He understand now why Althea had called him a steamroller who barreled over everything in his way.
“I need to get home and get to sleep. Gotta get up early and go finish those cabinets. What you need to do is lay the law down, Jared. Let my sister know you’re the boss.” With that, Jim climbed into his van and drove away.
Jared sat in his car a long time, mulling over their conversation. Finally he backed out onto the highway and headed home.
When he didn’t see her Pathfinder in front of her cabin or the shop, he figured Althea had to be at his place. He feared the worst yet hoped for the best as he pulled off the highway and followed the winding, gravel road up the side of Big Bear Mountain.
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Althea stared at the digital clock on the night stand. It was after one o’clock and she hadn’t had a wink of sleep yet. Setting down the bracelet with its heart-shaped ruby charm, she lay back down and clamped her eyes shut.
A crunching noise made her sit up and listen. When the sound got louder, she could also make out the distinctive roar of a powerful engine. Somebody was coming up the mountain. Jared? It had to be. No one else around here drove a car that sounded like his Mercedes.
She hadn’t expected him until tomorrow—or rather later today. Darn it, she’d counted on having waking time away from here to help her strengthen her resolve to let him go. Suddenly cold in spite of the long T-shirt she had on, she grabbed the blanket off the bed and wrapped it around her.
A door downstairs closed softly. She heard the click of a light switch. Footsteps fell, at first sharply against the oak plank flooring and then muted. He must be crossing the living room with its braided rug.
“No!”
Hearing his anguished cry made her drop the blanket and leap out of bed. She moved to the landing at the top of the stairs. There he was, hugging the finished quilt against his wide, muscular chest. Tears glistened on his chiseled cheeks.
This wasn’t the way she’d imagined seeing him with his quilt. Not at all. “Jared.”
His gaze intense, he raked her from head to toe. His eyes reflected the forest green tones in the quilt, along with fear…hope…love—all the emotions that were flooding her own heart.
And she sensed his desire, banked but burning brightly. It touched her, heated her, made her acutely aware of her own arousal. She wished she had armor, or at least something more substantial than one of his old T-shirts to ward off all the passion he awakened so easily with no more than a heated gaze.
He was all wrong for her. As wrong as if he’d landed on the mountainside from some distant planet. She wasn’t the woman he needed, and he wasn’t the man to fulfill her dreams. His idea of loving someone was to take them over, while hers was to nurture them.
She could repeat her warnings, embellish on them until they became a litany. But she couldn’t stop herself from holding out her arms to Jared and welcoming him home. No matter what she knew in her mind, she couldn’t squelch the love in her heart any more than she could ignore the fierce desire he kindled deep in her core.
In slow motion, he climbed the spiral stairs. He came close. Closer. Then he was beside her, wrapping her in his quilt and crushing her against his rock-hard body. He tasted her, first gently then fiercely, until she couldn’t tell where his breath ended and hers began.
How could she tell him no? She couldn’t, not now, in the dark of night when he silently promised hot sex and a beating, loving heart to share the uncertainties of tomorrow. When he scooped her up and carried her to bed, she didn’t stop him. She wanted this as much as he did. Maybe more.
She tangled her hands in his clothes, tearing them away as desperately as he got rid of her T-shirt. She re-learned every inch of his body while he caressed her. If only things were different, if Jared were the simple man she needed, not the tycoon who obviously believed his wealth could put everything he wanted in his hands—even her.
Swallowing a sob for what couldn’t be, she devoured him with her hands, her mouth…her aching, needy body. With each caress she silently gave him her love. With every kiss she made him a promise, that while she couldn’t have him for a lifetime, she’d have no other man in his place. She’d spend the rest of her life alone in these mountains, going old and gray more each day she’d pine for Jared Cain.
When he nudged her legs apart and thrust himself inside her, she mourned for the pleasures she’d be giving up when she sent him away even as she exulted in the memories they were making—memories that would have to sustain her over long, lonely years to come.
Jared didn’t understand her desperation. He hated seeing that lone tear rolling down her cheek. Kissing it away, he savored its salty taste as he gathered her tighter in his embrace. He shifted, changing the angle of his penetration and matching her furious rhythm with his own fierce, deep thrusts. He had a sick feeling that she meant this not as a welcome home, but as goodbye.
That wasn’t happening. He’d win her trust, make up to her for every hurtful thing she’d ever gone through, from her father and brother’s overprotectiveness to her dead fiancé’s apparent need for total control over her life. Damn Bill anyway, he thought, not in a mood to give any sympathy toward the man who’d died and left Althea alone and unsatisfied.
This was about more than sex, more than satisfying animal urges. Determined not to let lust rule, he slowed the pace, grasping her hips to slow her frantic race toward completion.
He whispered her name, almost as though he were praying. Maybe he was. Maybe he should be.
But when she tightened her legs around his waist, he felt as though maybe she understood. He listened to their hearts beating in unison, as slow and steady as the motion of him moving inside her, almost withdrawing then sliding back in her hot, wet sheath, going deeper with each thrust until they were fully joined.
A slow, delicious pressure built between them. His testicles tightened in their sac when she let out frantic, little moans and clawed at his back. Once, twice, she milked his cock with strong inner muscles and cried out his name. The third time, he couldn’t wait any longer. He came in long, hard bursts, out of control. And he screamed her name.
Drenched with sweat, they lay exhausted. But Jared wouldn’t roll away. He wouldn’t let her go. All through the night he held her.
And he closed his eyes and prayed. Please God, let me open up and tell Althea everything that’s in my heart. Don’t let me have realized how I feel only after I’ve lost her.
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Murmured words of love, of promises they’d made in the throes of passion and confirmed in its hazy contented afterglow, rang in Jared’s head the next morning as he watched Althea sleep. Surely she’d stay with him and become the missing half of himself that he’d been searching for unknowingly, for longer than he could remember.
After climbing out of bed, he looked down at her. The quilt caught his eye, reminding him it had been her only reason for agreeing to come back here, believing as she had that he’d violated her trust. Tenderly, he tucked it around her to keep her warm.
If he had his way, that quilt would keep them warm for years to come. Reflecting on their time together since he’d first taken that weathered square of cloth into her shop, Jared had trouble believing just how far he’d come. Althea had opened parts of his heart that had been firmly closed, making him vulnerable on the outside. Funny, he’d been unprotected on the inside all along.
He could lose his company and all the material things he’d amassed, and he’d still survive. If he lost Althea, though, he’d lose the best part of himself.
She’d looked so tired last night when he’d come home, he decided to let her sleep away this morning. They had talking to do, words to say somewhere other than in bed. That could wait, though. Right now she needed rest.
Jared’s gaze settled on a neat row of jewelers’ boxes on the night stand. His gifts, he supposed—the ones he’d ordered as a result of drunken inspiration. Curious, he looked closely at each of the five presents, wondering how Althea had reacted when they’d arrived.