For a minute, I hesitate. Do I want to see where all souls go to rest? Where fae and others go to die? His grip on my hands tightens, reassuring me. I sigh and open my eyes to the realm around me. At first all I see is the color red, no, more of a deep burgundy. Endless rolling hills of flowers the color of drying blood. The sway around our feet, yet I do not feel nor hear it. The world is silent, and I see no trace of the souls that reside here.
When I speak it sounds wrong, forbidden. “Where is everyone?”
He lets go of one hand to lead me forward over the next rise. Instead of another empty valley as I thought it’d be; a massive gaping hole lies below us. There is no light in that hole. No life. Is that where souls are forced to go? Octavius moves forward again, toward it. He doesn’t seem afraid or upset. Perhaps I shouldn’t be either. He’s the one that knows what he’s doing after all.
“This is the in-between. A place where souls on the verge of death come to wander. To see things that will help them make their final choice. That is why it is silent and empty. We are not dying.”
I nod, still unnerved by it all. “Is dying really a choice?”
He smiles. “Everything is a choice. Jump with me.”
Before he can give me a chance to protest, he pulls me over the edge, and we fall. If I thought falling through the portal felt like Alice in Wonderland, I was sorely mistaken. This is the embodiment of falling down the rabbit hole. Air flies past me, and I don’t hear it. My heart knows that Octavius is next to me, holding my hand, but I can’t see him. Terror grips me, and I scramble to get closer to him. He responds by pulling me to his chest and hugging me tightly.
“Just a little longer,” he whispers.
“What happens when we reach the bottom?”
“We land softly; don’t worry, we won’t go splat,” he replies with humor.
“Not funny!”
His laughter rings out around the space as we land still under the cover of darkness. Octavius feels around in front of him for something, but I keep my face hidden in his shoulder. This place feels strange, and my elements are buzzing within me anxiously. They know that I’m not meant to be here. He makes a triumphant sound and pulls open a door. Blinding light floods the chamber and he pulls me through the door without hesitation.
I’m glad that he’s leading me; otherwise, I’m not sure I would have been able to move. This place gives me the creeps, that is, until I turn my face outward again. Before me is a bustling community of supernaturals and humans alike. A city so expansive and modern looking that it takes my breath away. Octavius lets me go as I step forward in wonder. The souls around us pay no attention to the newcomers, and they don’t look any different than we do. For some reason, I expected them to look just as they did on the day of their death. Bloody from war or withered by old age, but they look to be in the prime of their lives. I reach out my hand, but it bumps into something solid. An energy shield.
I turn to Octavius. “This is incredible, but what’s with the shield around the city? How does it work?”
He turns me to the right, and I spot a large building that reminds me of the DMV with a massive line pouring out the front. Souls fidget agitatedly in line while watching the people walking the city, carefree. Is that where they all have to check-in before being allowed into the city limits? My fascination forces my feet to move toward it, and Octavius takes my hand to lead me in the right direction.
“There’s only one way into the shadow realm, so souls that are ready to cross come down the same hole we just did but land in a different place that leads them to that line. I’m a shadow master, so the realm recognizes me as someone important enough to bypass the line. Anyhow, the souls wait their turn to be evaluated and changed. See how their old, wounded, or troubled?”
My eyes travel back to the line, and I cringe. How did I not notice that before? Those souls are the nightmare I expected of this place. Missing limbs, caved in skulls, and other ailments that make bile rise in my throat. And yet, the souls don’t seem bothered by their conditions. Do they not feel it? Probably not after death, which is a relief for most of them.
“Gods, that’s awful. So, you restore them and take away their memories?”
He shakes his head. “Every soul has two choices to make. The first is whether or not they’re ready to cross over at all, and the other is what they want to do when they get here. They can choose to remain the same with their memories intact, but with the same withered body they had upon death. Or they can elect to have their memories wiped clean, which will restore their bodies, making them healthy and happy again.”
My chest swirls with indecision. “That’s quite the conundrum. I could see why the second option would be appealing to most, but I’d never want to forget all my memories, and yet, living here for all eternity with my mistakes in life swirling in my head? Ugh.”
He chuckles while holding a side door open for me. “Yes, that’s why the line is so long. Some souls take longer to choose than others, and we give them the time that they need. But there is another option.”
“What is it?”
He smiles. “Reincarnation. You’d lose all of your memories, but your soul would be reborn to live again.”
A sense of serenity warms my chest. “That’s what I’d want.”
He nods and gestures for me to walk down the hall in front of him. People swarm around me. Some of them I recognize as other fourth years working diligently to help the souls around them. Others are less clear in their reason for being here. There are beings that I’ve never seen before. Small goat-like people with hooves for feet scuttle from place to place, delivering papers. Short old men with long beards sit inside offices with uncomfortable looking souls sitting just in front of them. Several of them are crying, alarming me.
“Who are they?” I say while pointing at the nearest office.
The older man glances up, locking eyes with me, and I see the fathomless universe within his gaze. It startles me so badly that I stagger back into Octavius’ chest. He steadies me by gripping my upper arms.
“Those are the oracles. They help those that are having trouble making their choice by telling them their future and talking them through the past.”
I tear my eyes away from the man as Octavius ushers me forward to the end of the hall. A shiver courses down my spine at the thought of that man telling me my future as queen. What will it look like? Will I fail? Dread fills me at the thought. I cannot fail. It’s not in the cards for me, I don’t care what my destiny is. I’m forging my own, and no one will be able to stop me.
He opens a door, and I step inside. “This is my office. When I’m not on the war front, I’m here directing the soul gatherers and consulting on the most difficult of cases. For instance, I was the one to guide your Lucian’s father into his next life.”
“He chose reincarnation?”
“Yes. He realized his mistakes and wanted to begin again instead of live with them or without them.”
I nod as I walk around the space. It looks like any other office. There’s one large oak desk, a leather rolling chair, and Knick knacks littering the surface as well as papers. The mundane appearance of it makes me smile. This isn’t at all what I expected of the shadow master. Octavius continues to surprise me again and again. He will be a valuable confident when I begin to rebuild the bonds between light and dark fae. This job, or purpose rather, seems to have made him much wiser than his years. He almost knows more about humanity, emotions, and decency than actual humans do. Something very valuable in a room full of cold and calculating fae.
“You are truly different than every other fae I’ve met; you know that, right? It’s a good thing. You’re kind, compassionate, and wise,” I say as I turn to him.
His face turns an adorable shade of red. “That’s very kind of you to say.”
I smile. “It’s true.”
He steps closer and pulls me into his chest for a sudden hug. I make a startled noise but settle comfortably against his warm ch
est. Is it wrong that I enjoy this? No, not if I don’t have romantic feelings for him. And I don’t. As I said before, he feels like a brother to me. Someone that I can tell all of my secrets and thoughts to while knowing he will never speak them to anyone else. His hands cup my face, forcing me to look up at him.
“You are brilliant, and in another life, you would be my mate. But in this one? You are my good friend.”
We smile at each other, reveling in this connection that we seem to have. It’s different than a mating bond. Maybe this is what a soulmate feels like. Someone that is so right for you so in tune that you bond over friendship rather than attraction. In the human world, they refer to a soulmate as someone you love, and I do love Octavius, but not in a romantic way.
Am I capable of loving someone I’ve only just met?
Anything seems possible in the fae realm. Maybe I shouldn’t question it. I’ve spent half my time here questioning everything around me. It’s time to embrace my heritage. To accept that this is who I am now. It’s who I’ve always been, and now, who I always will be. It’s a train, and no one has the opportunity to get off.
“You’re my good friend too, Octavius. Even if I met you last week, even if it makes no sense. I’m just going to embrace every wild relationship I’ve made in the fae realm.”
He grins. “That’s the spirit. Let go of your inhibitions, they will only hold you back. Human reservations don’t belong in a place with magic.”
His words hit me like a truck. “You’re right. My own feelings as a human have kept me from seeing the fae world as it really is. Primal. Based on carnal feelings, magical energy, and nothing but your strength.”
He rubs the back of his neck. “When you say it like that, you make us sound like Neanderthals.”
I laugh. “That’s because you are! Do you know that three light masters kissed me the first day I met them? That would have never happened in the human world.”
He shrugs. “They wouldn’t have done it if you didn’t want it as well.”
I elbow him. “We were having a nice moment here. If you’re my friend, aren’t you supposed to side with me?”
“Not when you call me a Neanderthal!” he says, throwing his hands up.
We both fall into laughter as the door creaks open, and a startled looking bloodied soul jumps about five feet into the air. Octavius immediately silences himself, and I shove my hand into my mouth to do the same. How does he do that? Switch emotions so fast? It must be an old fae thing. He steps forward to lead the soul to a chair in front of the desk. I back into the corner beside the desk and try to pretend that I’m not present at all. My face finally relaxes, and I wipe it free of any expression.
Octavius says, “Hello, I’m sorry about that. It was entirely inappropriate of us. Thank you for coming.”
The man looks back and forth between us. “Is there supposed to be two of you?”
When he had opened his mouth, I almost gasped. His teeth are stained red from blood, and a few of them are missing. Not to mention, half his skull seems to have been blown off. The entire scene makes my stomach heave, but I do my best to look passive. How can Octavius stand that close to him without cringing? It must be a really special skill molded by centuries of practice. Octavius smiles again, and the action sends ease through the man as he physically slumps his shoulders.
“Yes, but she is simply observing. Let’s jump right in, shall we?” The man nods, so Octavius continues. “You must know why you’re here, so why you don’t start with how you passed away?”
The man flinches, and my chest fills with sympathy. “I...” he pauses, looking at me, “I died fighting in the war. I’m a water fae. The things I saw out there... Dark fae are a whole other type of evil.”
Octavius nods not insulted at all. “I’m sure. But can you describe it for me? Your death?”
“I don’t really remember much, but it was dark on the battlefield. Magic was shining and ripping in all directions, making it hard to make out who was a friend and who was a foe. A dark fae and I were locked in physical combat when a fireball the size of boulder exploded to my left, flinging me several feet through the air. My head cracked against a tree, and I woke up in that in between place. I died from my own kind,” he finishes with a chuckle that has no humor in it.
I probably appear horrified, yet Octavius looks cool as a cucumber. How does he do that? It must be because of the war. It’s hardened everyone around me in unimaginable ways. The men stare at each other for several long moments while tears stream down the males face. He’s obviously devastated that his life ended so early.
“Do you have any regrets? People you left behind that you wish to see someday?”
The male slumps forward, looking at the floor. “Yes, and no. I regret not telling my potential mate that I loved her, and I’d love to tell her one day if she comes here, but then it's too late.”
Octavius nods, looking solemn. I wonder if the statement made him think about Ashe. Can they be soulmates? Is that even possible? A fae and a wolf? What am I saying? I don’t even know the first thing about their situation. Although I can’t help but be curious about it. How had he found that cabin in the first place? It seems odd. There’s a backstory there that I definitely want to know about someday.
“You will not win her heart as a ghost of your former self. You know that.”
He looks up at me, and I turn my face away to hide the sadness in my gaze. “You understand, don’t you?”
My eyes snapped back to him, and he had stood up, moving closer to me. The wound on his head seeps blood constantly, but he seems unbothered by it. I can’t decide if that makes it more or less creepy to look at him.
I look at Octavius, and he shrugs. “I... I’ve not died, but I have lost someone. Someone I love.”
He moves almost too close for comfort. “And would you want them to wait for you? Or move on?”
His questions make me pause. Do I want my father to wait for me? It’d be absolutely amazing to see him again, but I know that it’s cruel. We would have both changed too much for it to be familiar anymore. It’d be like seeing a ghost of who I once knew. And no one would be able to move on if you knew they were waiting beyond the grave for you to join them.
“I’d want him to do whatever makes him happy. Waiting for something that might never happen doesn’t seem like the way to make that happen.”
The man droops, looking let down and resigned. He turns back to Octavius and nods. Has he made his decision? Does he not have to voice it? Maybe Octavius will just sense what they want to do. This part isn’t very clear to me.
“I’ve made my decision. I want to be reborn.”
Octavius grins, obviously happy with the males choice. “Ah, any preferences?” he jokes.
At first, I was shocked by his insensitivity, but then the male chuckles, smiling. “No, simply make me handsome.”
“As you wish.”
Octavius steps up to the male and touches his forehead with one finger. Light, pure white light, seeps into his skull and spreads down his body. He lights up like a blinding sun, causing me to shield my eyes. When it dims, I lower my forearms to find that the male has disappeared, leaving a shower of sparks in his wake. Octavius’s hands are still glowing brightly. It mesmerizes me so completely that I run my fingers across his palms.
He laughs. “Stop! That tickles!”
“What is this power?” I ask in wonder.
He smiles, and he looks truly serene. Like an angel. In fact, his entire body is glowing with that otherworldly light. How strange. He truly looks the part of an ethereal being who leads you to the other side. Is this what their power looks like when it’s being used for the correct purpose? Are they truly on another plane of existence than other fae?
“You’ve already guessed by the look on your face. This is the same power you’ve seen dark fae wield above ground. It was simply used for the wrong reasons.”
I step back, shocked. “So, the fae that call themselves light
. . ?”
He tilts his head, smiling knowingly. “Do not know how wrong they are.”
Chapter Thirteen
My head is still reeling days later. What I said to Lucian the other night is true. Everything the light fae know and believe to a fault is a lie. How am I supposed to tell the light masters? The kings? Just the thought of it makes me uncomfortable and edgy. I have to come up with a speech for it soon, as we’re days away from the winter solstice ball. I have to tell them as soon as we get back to the academy.
Ugh. The academy.
For some reason, that place doesn’t feel like the right place to return to. But where would we go? We can’t stay in one kings domain as that would send the wrong message. And the in between doesn’t feel right either. It’s so close to the academy that I’d wonder why I’d chosen to leave. What does it take to make a castle, I wonder? Can one be made by elemental power? If anything, it’d have to be made of trees and plants which we all know isn’t my strong suit.
“What are you thinking about, Tiana?” dark Rai asks from across the table.
I startle and look up at him. “Ah, I just zoned out. Sorry.”
He smiles, warmly. “Lucian asked you if you’re excited for the ball.”
“Yes! I’ve never been to a ball before. At least not one thrown by a fae.”
Damon smiles, and I can’t help but notice the darkness in it. If he was in the shadow realm, would he be shining? The males around me have an equal amount of power to my light masters. They must look like blazing suns in the shadow realm. Like actual gods. My stomach swirls with excitement at the thought. What I’d give to see that. Too bad they can’t know that I know exactly what they are.
“Are you alright, Tiana? You look flushed all the sudden,” Orin comments.
I rub the back of my neck, ashamed of myself. “Ah, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”
Was I just aroused by the thought of seeing them in the shadow realm? I have to admit that having sex with someone who glows like the dawn sun would be an experience you can’t forget. My neck flushes and Damon smirks at me, knowing full well where my thoughts must be. Lucian glares at him, looking almost protective of me. Gods, what a mess I’ve created. What are they all going to think of me once I’ve fled?
High Fae Academy - Year Two: Paranormal Fae Romance Page 12