The castle town, like so much else here, had a sort of medieval-fantasy vibe to it. There were cobblestone streets lined with brick buildings. Each house must have had a fireplace or a hearth or something, because I could see rows of little chimneys, with columns of smoke rising from some of them. Obviously, there were no automobiles on the streets; instead, there were carts pulled by people, along with horse-drawn carriages.
Actually... They resembled horse-drawn carriages, but they weren’t quite. Take the vehicle Minori-san and I were riding in, for example: in this world, apparently it wasn’t horses, but ostrich-like, flightless birds who had been put to the task. But they didn’t have long necks like ostriches; instead, they were pretty stout, like a two-meter-tall sparrow. Basically, uh, cho**bos.
If I’d seen a picture of one, I might have thought it was pretty cute—kind of lovable, even. But to actually see a bird taller than me at close range was, frankly, frightening. I always felt like its beak was about to go for my neck. Even if they did assure me these creatures were herbivores.
“We’re not going to use the car—the light armor?”
“Look at you, knowing the nickname for an LAV.” Minori-san smiled. “The hyperspace portal is a weird thing. We can’t make it any bigger.”
According to her, after the discovery of the portal, some excavation had been attempted in the immediate vicinity, but no matter how much they dug, they only found earth and rocks—no alternate world in sight.
“Anyway, we wouldn’t want to overdo the expansion effort and end up collapsing the hyperspace passageway or anything. So other than reinforcing it with a little concrete and some tree resin, we haven’t touched it. That means there’s a limit to what we can bring over here, about one truck’s worth. Even the LAV, we disassembled it on the other side, brought it through, and put it back together over here. That means consumables like gasoline are at a premium.”
“Ah. That makes sense.”
Apparently, this was also behind the idea of exporting “otaku industry.” Since bringing large amounts of physical goods over was a no-go, they naturally hit on the concept of bringing in something that was principally data—information. Get one good photocopier through the portal and they could make all the manga and novels they wanted, for the modest price of a little imported paper. As for anime, a projector and a screen was all they really needed to open a theater and start attracting customers. Set up a few video game consoles too, and you would have yourself a regular amusement park. Charge admission, and watch the cash roll in.
“More importantly.” Minori-san was looking at me seriously. “Let me remind you again: don’t do or say anything untoward.”
“I know, I know.”
The two of us were heading for Eldant Castle. As Minori-san had said the day before, it was where the ruler of this country lived. In Japan, we might have called it the Imperial Palace or the Prime Minister’s residence; in America, it would be like going to the White House. Super-VIP stuff, in other words. And today, we were going to be granted an audience with the empress herself—definitely not a situation where you would want to do anything careless.
“Matoba-san was really hoping we could do this trip after you’d gotten a little more used to this world, learned some basic etiquette—but the Eldant side insisted they wanted to meet you right away.”
“They did?”
“I suspect it was the empress’s own will,” Minori-san said. “Relations between the Eldant Empire and its immediate neighbors are still tense—border skirmishes are an everyday occurrence. They’re in a perpetual state of war.”
“Huh...” I nodded, looking out the window. Truth be told, the town looked pretty happy, not like a place that was at war. Or was it just because this was the capital? Or did I just not know where to look?
“So a strict system of control has been built up with the empress at the center. Wartime provides a great excuse—‘We have to muster the country’s strength’ and all that. It makes it that much easier for the empress and those around her to give orders they couldn’t get away with in peacetime.”
It was the way of the world: with no one to say, “Stop, you shouldn’t do that,” those in power tended to run amok. In medieval-ish worlds like this one, as Myusel showed, the literacy rate among the populace usually wasn’t very high, which made it hard for people to gain more than a passing knowledge of politics and the military. They might have an inarticulate grievance against or objection to the state, but the number of people in a position to complain was limited—and most of them were on the side of the ruling powers.
And that led to dictatorship...
“Hmmm...”
The word dictatorship made me think of—well, a few countries that shall not be named. Some filthy-looking old man dressed in an outfit that looked like work clothes, gesturing at his subjects from on high. Or, you know. A certain mustachioed figure of the Second World War giving one of his hysterical orations.
“We’ll be there soon,” Minori-san said, and straightened her necktie.
The castle was so stunning I could hardly describe it. Even from a distance, the size of it had been enough to overwhelm me; from up close, it was all the more staggering. It stretched up almost farther than the eye could see, and the sheer presence of it set me back on my heels. This was one of those moments where, if this were a manga, there would be a goooong sound effect, even though nothing was actually making any noise.
The cobblestone street continued through the open castle gate, which was attended by a crowd of armored knights and the birds they rode on. Some of them were even perched on dragons that sat there with their wings folded. Come to think of it, since Matoba-san and I were guests of state, it made sense that they would greet us like this.
Just seeing a well-ordered line of people or objects conveys a certain gravitas, but when all of them are wearing full armor, it’s pretty intimidating. Minori-san and I were quaking just a little as our bird-drawn carriage pulled up at what appeared to be the castle’s entryway.
“Sir and Madam, we have arrived,” said the carriage’s driver, opening the door for us in an elaborate show of respect.
Still feeling a bit anxious, we entered the castle, only to hear the huge door close behind us with a thud, as if to say there was no turning back now.
“In a video game, this is where you would fight a mini-boss,” I mused.
“How do you have the space in your brain to think about that right now?” Minori-san asked with an exasperated smile.
“If I’m not saying something stupid, I can’t calm down,” I sighed.
We found Matoba-san waiting in the castle. “Hullo. Glad you made it.” Beside him were—yup—two soldiers or knights or something; anyway, they were carrying swords. “You’re wearing your magic rings?”
“Of course,” I said, holding up my left hand and giving a little wave.
Matoba-san and Minori-san also had rings like the one I was wearing. It wasn’t just a translator device; it also served to show our status in the Eldant Empire. Myusel had been given one because she was serving me, but normally commoners would never be granted such a thing.
In other words, if I lost it, not only would I be unable to tell anyone, but no one would be interested in listening to me even if I were. It was a lifeline, and I had to hang onto it.
“Time to go see Her Imperial Majesty, then,” Matoba-san said, and set off walking. Minori-san and I silently followed him through the gigantic castle. A castle is a building, so we were technically inside, but the roof was so high above our heads and the hallways were so wide that you could practically have played indoor baseball in any given part of it. Or tennis or volleyball, for that matter. Even just getting from one side of the hallway to the other looked like it would take a certain amount of time. Without a guide, I figured the sun would have set before I found where I was going.
At length, Matoba-san stopped and turned to us. “Well, then. Here we are.”
The hallway ended
at a pair of doors that seemed too large to have any business being inside a building.
“We are now going to have an audience with the leader of the Holy Eldant Empire,” Matoba-san said. “Any impropriety on our part could result in an international incident, so watch yourselves. You especially, Kanou-kun.”
The soldiers accompanying Matoba-san bellowed, “The three emissaries from the nation of Japan have arrived!”
The huge doors began to rumble open of what seemed like their own accord, although I’m sure there was some kind of trick to it, and then we were ushered into the audience chamber.
“Whoa...” I couldn’t help murmuring. It was one heck of an audience chamber. In fact, the word chamber, which implies some kind of room, seemed much too small for this place. The closest thing to this that I could think of was an enclosed sports stadium. But it looked like you could fit four tennis courts in here. Stone pillars stood around the room, every bit as large as you would expect to support the roof of a space this size.
Judging by the medieval European look of the castle, I assumed everything here had been built by human hands, or at the very least without construction equipment. The thought of the sheer effort it must have taken was enough to make me dizzy. Or maybe they had used magic to do the work?
Then there was the actual interior of the audience chamber. A red carpet had been rolled out, and at the far end there was a spot set up higher than everything else. No doubt it was the throne of whoever led this Eldant Empire. Along both sides of the carpeted pathway up to the throne stood knights with swords at their hips. They were attired differently from those who had stood at the castle gate as well as those who had been our guides; it probably indicated that they were a royal guard, charged with protecting the imperial person.
“For the moment, Kanou-kun,” Minori-san said from beside me, “just stay quiet and do what I do. For the most part, look at the floor. Don’t say anything inappropriate. When we see the empress, bow just like Matoba-san and I do, on one knee. You’ll at least avoid being rude that way. Anyway, we may be in another world, but none of their customs are that shocking.”
“Uh...huh.” I nodded, intensely aware of the royal guard sizing me up.
Under the circumstances, I didn’t think I could have done or said anything inappropriate even if I’d wanted to. It was obvious that if I did anything really stupid, the guards would rush over and chop off my head. I felt a fresh wave of anxiety.
“Announcing!” a guard near the throne proclaimed.
As if in concert, Matoba-san knelt on the carpet, Minori-san and I following him. I kept my eyes down, as I’d been told, so I had no idea whether the empress might or might not have been sitting on the throne at that moment, might or might not have been looking down at me.
“The three emissaries from the nation of Japan!”
“The three emissaries from Japan!” the knights chorused.
Matoba-san said: “Matoba Jinzaburou of the Far East Culture Exchange Promotion Bureau, accompanied by Koganuma Minori, WAC Private First Class, and Kanou Shinichi, Amutech General Manager. The afore-named have appeared by order of Empress Eldant III of the Holy Eldant Empire. We beg an audience.”
Then a voice came from the direction of the throne. “So you’re the newcomer from the far country?”
Thoroughly surprised, I accidentally looked up—and thankfully, Minori-san’s hand quietly snuck in from the side and pushed my head back down. She must have known I would look up in surprise. But then, she could have at least warned me.
The voice I’d heard was nothing like I’d imagined. It was high-pitched and reedy. Very young.
“Show me your face,” the child’s voice ordered imperiously.
I tried to see what Minori-san was doing out of my peripheral vision. She gave a little nod, so with fear and trembling, I raised my head.
Up on that raised platform was a throne so big it could have seated a bear with room left over. The back and arms were covered with satin. The seat had gold and silver everywhere, and every part that wasn’t covered with a runner had complex, intertwined carvings like tangled vines. The chair couldn’t speak, but it unmistakably announced what a rare and fine object it was.
Now, that’s a throne.
And sitting on that throne...
“IS THAT REALLY AN ARCHETYPAL LITTLE-GIRL CHARACTER?!” I shouted, jumping up and clenching both my fists.
Yes: seated on the throne was a girl who couldn’t have been more than ten years old. She was wearing a blue dress, her flawless golden hair framing a white face. She had thin pink lips and a sharp nose that turned up ever so slightly. Her huge blue eyes sparkled, darting this way and that like a cat’s. She looked saucy... yet sweet.
Let’s put this bluntly: Her Majesty the Empress was an absolutely adorable little girl.
We sometimes say people “give a doll-like impression.” Well, this was it. Honestly, I could hardly believe she was human. She didn’t give any sense of being made of real flesh and blood. The tiny golden tiara on her head made her seem very, very much like a doll of a princess.
I could hardly stand it. If this were a manga or anime, I would pillory the creator for obviously trying way too hard to get a laugh—but here we were, and it was all real.
But then, the white face flushed red and the loli empress exclaimed, “Wh-Who’re you calling an archetypal little-girl character?!”
“Guh?!” I came back to myself in a flash. I glanced from side to side. Minori-san had a hand to her forehead as if to say, Now you’ve done it. I thought the knights were about to execute me—but maybe they were just as surprised by the outburst as I was, because they seemed frozen in place.
“We are no longer a child!” the empress shouted angrily, jumping up. Then, with a thump-thump-thump-thump-thump, she came dashing down from the dais. Before anyone could stop her, Her Majesty the Empress was standing in front of me.
Okay. Deep breath.
“You cur!” Very suddenly, I found this kid girl landing an explosive punch right to my face.
“Yikes!” For such a small person, she had a hell of a straight; I found myself tumbling backward.
Looming over me—even though she would barely have come up to my chest standing—Her Majesty announced, “We turned sixteen just yesterday! We are a full and proper adult!”
“Huh?! You’re kidding!” No matter how you looked at her, there was no way she was anywhere near the second half of her teens. In fact, she wouldn’t have looked out of place heading off to school with a cute little backpack. I was about to point out that she had a little kid’s face and an even littler kid’s body, but luckily I bit my tongue at the last minute. Almost literally, because her second punch caught me on the chin.
Hrrgh... I’ve never met a child with an uppercut like that...!
“Who’s kidding?!” the tiny, 100%-from-every-angle-loli Empress demanded, tears beading in her eyes.
Wait a second... Is she bothered about this?
...is what I was thinking as I lay there on my back.
That was when an old man rushed up, pale in the face. “Your Majesty!” he exclaimed. “What are you doing to the honored emissary?!”
He was wearing a robe with long sleeves. His face was wrinkled, and his beard and eyebrows, long enough to hide his facial features, were completely white. I couldn’t help thinking of him as one of the “immortals” of Japanese legend. Or, under the circumstances, maybe “sorcerer” was more appropriate.
“He insulted us!” Her Loli Majesty said, pointedly refusing to look at the old man. “Just remembering it makes us angry! You there, get up! We’ll chop your head clean off! Somebody! Somebody, bring us a sword!”
“Your Majesty!” the old man cried, grabbing the ruler from behind in a bear hug. “Please, think about what you’re doing!”
The Empress struggled mightily. “Let us go, you old fart! We cannot abide his mockery!”
“Please, bear in mind that they are from another land—the way
they think may be different from us! I’m sure he had no intention of insulting Your Majesty!”
“Exactly so,” Matoba-san chipped in, still on one knee. “In our country, twenty is the age of adulthood. Until that point, all are equally considered children. Hence, my companion meant no disrespect; indeed, his words were no doubt intended as a show of reverence for the beauty of Her Majesty’s honored countenance. I beg you to have mercy on him.”
That’s a bureaucrat for you: perfectly fluent, and almost complete BS. I figured he could do it so easily because his entire job involved deploying linguistic smokescreens, but I kept that to myself.
“H—Hrm.” Her Majesty raised an eyebrow and looked at me. “Is that so?”
Getting up off the floor, I nodded eagerly. “Huh? O-Of course it certainly is, but... It’s very true, but...” If I wasn’t careful, I really could get myself beheaded here.
“Hrm. Hrm. Hrm.” She grunted a few times, but she must have finally been placated, because she let out a small sigh and said, “V-Very well!” The loli leader crossed her arms and said, “It does not become a ruler to be perturbed about trivial matters.”
The old man took a step back and said, “A most wise sentiment, Your Majesty.”
The Empress stomped back up the steps in a way that suggested she was still a little angry, and threw herself back onto her throne. Minori-san and the old man helped me up, after which I resumed kneeling on the carpet. Time to take a mulligan. The old man took a few steps back from us, then gave a big nod and a smile.
“You have traveled far to come to this land, Kanou Shinichi-dono,” the old man said. “The Eldant Empire and all its servants welcome you.”
“Thank you very much for your kind words.”
He had been speaking to me, but it was Matoba-san who answered. I guess he was basically telling me to keep my mouth shut for the duration. Sorry, sir.
Minori-san whispered in my ear. “The girl is the Empress, Her Imperial Majesty Petralka an Eldant III. The old guy is Prime Minister Zahar.” She pointed to one side of the dais. “And then there’s...”
The Power of Moe Page 8