Shiloh looks and me and mouths her words. How?
I look at Hans and nod at him. He heads to go find our secret weapon.
“The man Cyrus brought here and told me killed my cousin wasn’t his killer after all. He was close to your family and knew their plans. With his help we were able to anticipate their moves.”
She winces again as Sarah pierces her skin again.
Who? Shiloh mouths.
“Shiloh? Are you okay?” James asks as he enters the room. He comes to her side, looking over the stitching Sarah is finishing up.
Shiloh’s jaw drops as she looks at him in bewilderment. James gives her a sad smile, coming to kneel in front of her.
“My job was always to protect you, kid. I wasn’t going to stop just because you ran off,” he says.
The deal I made to protect his daughter and give him a new identity when this was over helped too. In exchange for his help, I will make sure the Blackards don’t find his daughter like I had. If he finds Victor for me, I will make it so he can be in her life again.
Alliances were formed. Just not the ones Marcus planned.
Shiloh rubs her face like she’s trying to focus on everything being revealed. I wish I could have told her from the start. I never wanted her to see me get married or think I was abandoning her. But I couldn’t risk it; they would hurt if they didn’t believe she would turn on me. I needed her in the dark.
“I know it may have seemed that I didn’t like you much,” James continues. “I wasn’t there to be your friend. I was there to keep shit like this from happening to you. But I watched you grow up, Shiloh. You were a pain in my ass every day, but I couldn’t let you get hurt.”
Shiloh looks at her former guard. Her lips form words that I can’t see but James can read. He smiles and reaches forward, giving her a gentle hug.
“You’re a fighter, kid. Fight. And don’t you dare give up. Hear me?” He says the words low and firm. It’s a demand. Shiloh nods once, making a promise to the man that saved her life, more times than she probably knows.
“All stitched up,” Sarah announces.
Shiloh sighs, obviously exhausted. Her skin is pale and her grip on my hand is weakening. There is more to tell her, but I’m not sure how much I should throw at her right now.
Eli makes her drink the rest of the water, and Roy gives her tea and cookies. Sarah makes sure to cover the stitches with a bandage, and I can tell when the pain medication kicks in.
“Come on,” I say as I help Shiloh to her feet. “You need sleep.”
Shiloh barely makes a step, so I lift her and carry her upstairs. We push my door to my bedroom open. I set her down on the bathroom counter. She looks at me with sleepy eyes.
“You feel sandy. You’ll feel better after a bath.”
I run the water and fill the tub with bubbles and warm water while Shiloh stares at the ocean on the other side of the glass wall behind the tub. When it’s filled, I turn to her and set her on her feet.
I find the zipper and slowly lower it. The once beautiful dress falls to the floor, exposing her naked body to me. I leave on the necklace and remove my own clothes. She watches me with dark eyes as they roam over my body.
With restraint I didn’t know I had, I help her into the tub and ease her down to rest between my legs. Her skin slides against mine in the hot water, and I run my hands over her to warm her up. I want to explore her body and take away all her pain, but she needs rest.
My dick has other ideas, though, and hardens against her lower back. I inch backward, hoping she didn’t feel it, but she moves back. A soft sigh escapes her as her head falls back and rests on my shoulder.
I kiss her jaw up to the soft skin behind her ear. Her body melts into mine, and I trail my fingers over her body. They coast over thighs and glide up her stomach. I softly cup her breasts, letting them fill my hands. Shiloh arches into my touch with every caress.
Steam fills the room as I continue to kiss her neck and shoulder. My hands lull her body to relax. Her muscles go weak under my touch, and I feel her grow heavy as she lets go. The exhaustion is finally taking her under.
“Let’s get you to bed.”
I get out and reach down to lift her from the tub as the water starts to cool. After drying her off, I take Shiloh into my bedroom. She holds the towel around her body, looking around the room. I never had her in here before, and I doubt she looked around much last night when she sneaked in. I never had any woman in this bed before Sarah. If it wasn’t necessary, I wouldn’t have let that happen. The sleeping pills took us for surprise, and Sarah passed out almost immediately.
“This is your room too, from now on,” I say in her ear from behind.
I hold her hips and push her toward the bed. The towel drops and I groan.
“Don’t tease me, woman. I’m trying to behave,” I growl as I push her gently to the mattress.
Shiloh gives me a sly smile, and I crawl in behind her. I can wait for her. If I can have all those smiles, I will behave and let her rest for as long as she wants. Everything would be worth waiting for if I owned every one of her smiles.
With her head on my chest, I run my fingers up and down her spine until her breathing slows. I inhale her scent that I thought I would never smell again. I look over to the balcony doors that are now open, letting the warm breeze blow in. When I opened my eyes and watched her shadowed figure drop, my heart dropped with her. I didn’t think before I jumped in after her. I didn’t care that I might not make it back as long as she did. I knew then that I would never be able to let her go. I just hoped she forgave me enough to stay with me when it was all over.
I promised myself something as I reached for her while she sank deeper into the darkness. I promised I would protect this girl forever.
chapter thirty-one
shiloh
I WAKE UP in Pierce’s room. The sunrise is peeking through the windows. The sky is tinted with pink and orange. For some reason, the view is better from his room.
I stretch and feel an empty bed next to me. I can smell Pierce’s soap lingering in the air so I know he must have recently showered. I sit up, feeling the sting in my shoulder. I reach back and feel the bandage. I must admit, Sarah did a good job stitching me up.
I wanted to hate her when I walked in and she hugged Pierce. She was the woman that stole my future. It was the sweetest relief when he told me they weren’t really married.
Rubbing my head, I recall the day before. James was here and still trying to keep me safe. For most of my life, I fought him. He was the one that enforced my imprisonment so he was my enemy. But now my father turned on him.
I crawl out of bed and wander to the walk-in closet. I find my clothes are already in here. I don’t care enough to look cute, so I decide on a pair of yoga pants and a light tank top. It will allow easy access to my shoulder.
I am almost to the first floor when I hear the hushed whispers. I pause, taking the last few steps silently.
“We should leave,” Hans is saying. “It’s not safe here anymore. We are like sitting ducks.”
“No. He won’t be that stupid when we have his daughter,” I hear Pierce argue.
The hairs stand on the back of my neck. I feel danger lurking around the corner again. Part of me knows that when I walk into that room, I am leaving something behind. An ignorance. Will this fighting ever end?
“You are going to have to tell her,” another voice adds. I think it’s Alonzo.
“I know. She needed rest,” Pierce answers. I hear the defeat in his voice.
“Well we need to do something soon,” Hans adds.
I step down into the living room and the three men turn to stare at me. I look at Pierce and raise a questioning eyebrow. He sighs, knowing I heard him.
“I should show you something.”
He pulls me into his office and Hans follows. Once he locks the door, Pierce touches a hidden keypad I never noticed before. The bookshelf moves and I see a spiral staircase. Hans leads the
way down. Pierce takes my hand, giving me a reassuring squeeze before taking the steps. My heart pounds in my chest. I have no idea what I’m about to walk into. The stairs end and we are in a basement room. It’s chilly and the air is stale. I shiver with anticipation. When Hans moves to the side, I see a figure in a chair. Long hair drapes over her face, but I’d know my sister anywhere.
Poppy!
I rush to her, pushing the hair from her face and tilting her head to look at me. Her eyes open and widen when she sees me.
“Shiloh.” Her voice is weak.
I turn and shoot a glare at Pierce. Why would they have her chained up down here like an animal? She would never hurt me.
“She didn’t make it back to the boat before it left. She probably came back looking for you,” Pierce explains.
I rush behind the chair and pull at the cuffs. Out of habit, I reach to my ankle where a handcuff key would normally be but it’s been long gone. I look to Pierce for help.
“The guards caught her and brought her down here,” he says as he slowly approaches. “They didn’t know she was your sister. And the only reason she is still alive is because they didn’t know who her father was either.”
Poppy sighs and hangs her head. “He will come for us. Let me go.”
Pierce reaches into his pocket and hands me a small sliver key. I reach for it, our fingers touching for a moment. I don’t pull back right away. Instead I search his eyes for his truth. I see no hate or anger, just concern. Concern for me.
I take the key and unlock the cuffs. Poppy’s hands fall and I rush around to face her. When I do, she reaches out and wraps me in a tight hug.
“I thought you were dead,” she whispered in my ear. “I saw you jump.”
I shake my head and squeeze her tighter. I don’t know how long we stay like that. Her arms around me comfort the burn of the last few days. I felt raw and ripped open. My sister soothed that pain.
When we break apart, tears are in her eyes. Hans hands her a bottle of water that she drinks eagerly. Did they hurt her? I frantically start to pat her down, checking for injuries.
“I’m fine,” Poppy assures me as she stops my shaking hands. “They didn’t touch me.”
I sigh in relief and let myself sit on the floor. Poppy holds my hands, rubbing a thumb over the back of them.
“Shiloh, you need to run,” Poppy says. Her voice is panicked, and she squeezes my hand tightly.
“What?” Pierce barks. I look at her in confusion and fear.
“I was supposed to kill you if you didn’t follow through and kill Pierce and Sarah. I couldn’t do it and went back to warn you but then you jumped.”
My stomach sinks. My own father sent her to kill me? Did either of us matter to him at all? Will he do anything to win this war?
“You can run and I can tell them I killed you. After you jumped, chaos broke out. Cyrus left without me. No one knows what you did.”
For someone that never cried before, I have cried a lot these past few days. As tears collet in my eyes, I can’t help but think maybe I had been storing them my whole life for these moments.
“No. You won’t touch her,” Pierce says, coming to pull me away from Poppy.
“I would never hurt her! I am trying to save her!”
I fight off Pierce’s hands and he backs away. I know Poppy couldn’t hurt me. It’s someone else that I fear now. The betrayal cuts deeper than any fancy dagger.
“He won’t hurt her either,” Pierce hisses. “No one will hurt her.”
“Shiloh, listen to me,” Poppy says, pulling my attention back to her. “He will come for you. He won’t stop. Run. This is your chance.”
“I’ll kill him.” Pierce starts pacing the small room like a caged animal.
“You can go anywhere you want. Be free like you always wanted. This is your chance to start over. Be anyone you want to be.”
Pierce says something, but I don’t hear it. Poppy continues to argue, but I drown it all out. All I can hear is the ocean waves and my thoughts clear.
I stand up, drawing their attention. The room finally goes silent.
I am done hiding.
I am done running.
I am done pretending to be someone else.
I want freedom.
I was drugged, beaten, and had my voice stolen. I lied and pretended. I had my heart taken and then broken. All this to be free from a prison I couldn’t live with anymore.
I wouldn’t trade those walls for invisible walls. I won’t be someone else. I’m not Shiloh Moore or a dead girl. I’m Shiloh Blackard. I can’t change that, but I can change her fate. Like Pierce said, we are rewriting the story.
I shake my head. Poppy starts to argue with me, but I shut her up with a wave of my hand. My dad won’t give up. He wasted so many lives just to end a few of his enemies. The age-old feud needs to end. If I stay here, it will only intensify. He won’t lose his daughter to the Gallos. Especially not two.
“You will both stay here,” Pierce says. “Hans. Take Poppy up and get her fed and settled in a room.”
“I can’t stay here,” she argues. “They know by now that you have me. This isn’t over.”
“Come on,” Hans says, tugging Poppy toward the stairs. I nod at her, hoping she will comply. She doesn’t belong in this room like a prisoner.
I follow Hans and my sister out of the basement. Pierce is close behind me with a hand on my lower back. I feel stronger with his touch as we enter his office. I go to the windows, watching the waves outside as Hans and Poppy leave us.
It’s silent when the door shuts. Pierce watches me carefully. I see the unease in the way his hands clench and release. He knows I have something to say but no words to say it. I turn to his desk and find pen and paper. I pause with the ink on the page.
Words can lie. We can speak them, saying one thing when we mean another. So easy. So effortless. But Pierce could always see through me. He could read my words without me having to say them. I don’t have a voice to cover up the truth. All I have is this pen and paper to lie. I scribble the words and hate them as I hand it over to Pierce.
I want to go home.
“No. Absolutely not. Shiloh, I can keep you both safe here.”
I shake my head. He can’t without more blood and death.
I remember the bruises on James and Sarah. They were hurt because of my actions. Poppy would be safe at home if I never left. Luca would be alive.
I will live every day in fear of what will happen next. We will constantly look over our shoulder, waiting for the next attempt and attack. I will forever fear that someone will take Pierce from me, or someone else innocent.
“Shiloh, don’t do this,” he whispers.
Does he know I’m doing this for him? Does he see the pain in my eyes as I sacrifice myself for him?
Pierce closes the distance between us. He cups my face, smashing his lips to mine. It’s full of desperation and anguish. My chest tightens as I taste him for the last time. It’s bittersweet and I memorize the way his lips feel, the way he smells, and the way my heart pounds with his touch.
I pull away when it feels like I can’t breathe anymore. Pierce is begging me with his eyes.
Whelve: (v.) to bury something deep; to hide.
I write again. My heart shatters with every line. I used to love words, and now I hate them. I never want to see them again. I wish I could forget every single one so I didn’t have to use them now.
Let me go.
“I love you. I love you enough to fight for you, Shiloh. Let me save you.”
Three words. Three words I never heard said to me before. Those three words kill me. They will replay in my head for the rest of my sad life.
I don’t love you enough to keep fighting.
I love him enough to not let him fight. I can’t let him die for me, and I’m terrified it will come to that. Marcus Blackard won’t let me go. I will die before that happens.
“Don’t. Don’t give me that.” It’s a warni
ng. My last warning before I end the only good part of my life.
I shove the paper into his chest and rush past him. I can’t let him see my tears. Pierce will see through the lies, and he will fight me. I am too weak to keep pushing him away.
I rush up the stairs, eager to get away from the sound of my heart breaking. I want to scream and shout at the unfairness of it all.
In the room that was once mine, I crumble in the corner and cry. I clutch my broken shells to my chest because they feel like the pieces of my broken heart.
chapter thirty-two
shiloh
THE SUN SETS and rises. In my agony, I hate the way the pink and orange streak the sky. It reminds me of what I’m giving up.
When I see Pierce at the bottom of the stairs, I remember why I am giving it up. I take that knowledge and wrap it around my battered heart for protection. I use it to stay strong.
“The plane is waiting,” he says.
He’s cold and distant. It slays me. I wish his dark eyes would roam over my face one last time, but then he might see the truth, so I nod and join my sister near the front door.
Sarah also waits. She tells me Pierce and Hans found a place for her in New York where she can start over. She can work in a club Pierce owns, and she doesn’t need to strip anymore. There’s a silver lining to her dark cloud after all.
Poppy gives my hand a gentle squeeze. She looks at me with pity and understanding. She knows what I’m doing without having to tell her.
I took nothing with me except the necklace Pierce gave me. It’s still around my neck. I move to unclasp it, but Pierce shakes his head.
“Keep it.”
It’s not a request but a command. I nod and drop my hands. I wanted to keep one last piece of him.
Before I step out the door, I look over my shoulder one last time. Pierce stands, dressed in a suit and hands in his pockets. He looks strong and unbreakable. I feel weak as I turn and walk toward the plane.
I barely remember the flight to Miami or the flight to Vegas. Poppy tires to talk to me, but I block it out. I block everything out so I don’t break down. Every cell in my body begs for me to turn around. I want Pierce and the promises he made me. When the plane hits the tarmac in Las Vegas, I know it’s too late. I crossed that invisible line.
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