by Ava Bell
A few days after Stacy gives me the card, a guy shows up at the bar. It’s a slow weeknight so he spots me pretty quickly.
“Hi, Sam,” he says, walking towards me. “I’m David Bell. Do you have some time so we can chat?” he asks, holding his hand out to shake mine.
“Sure, let’s grab a table.” I find a table farthest from the crowd where it’s easier to hear.
“I really like what you’re doing here,” he says, sitting. “I’m told you write all of your own songs?” I nod my confirmation. “They sound great, very original.”
“Thanks,” I say, still not sure if this dude is for real.
“Do you have a demo CD I can take back to my partners?” he asks. Stacy brings us a couple of bottles of beer.
“No, I haven’t really thought about making one,” I say, taking a long pull on my beer.
“Well, you really need to and I can set you up with one of our studios we work with if you’re interested.”
I sit back and look at him, waiting for the punch line.
“That would be great, but how much is this gonna cost me?” I ask. There has to be a catch.
He laughs and shakes his head. “Not a penny, it’s all part of the process.”
I sit up and lean forward “process?”
“Here’s my cell number, Sam. Call me tomorrow and I’ll explain everything.” He hands me his card with the number on the back and throws a twenty on the table. As I watch him walk towards the door, it takes me few minutes to process what just happened and I jump when I realize Ryan is standing there, looking over my shoulder at the card.
“Dude, who the fuck was that?” he asks me.
“I have no idea,” I say, feeling skeptical.
TWO WEEKS LATER, I’m in the studio making my first demo; ten songs that are my own. David has assured me that his agency is more than interested and to be patient while he sends my demo out to his collogues. Within six weeks of meeting David, he introduces me to Adam Cotton. We hit it off immediately, and he quickly has me booked with my first show. It’s a small venue, but much larger than the bar. Each weekend he has me booked at different night club and casinos. Within a few months I hear one of my songs as it plays on the radio while I’m driving home from Ryan’s. The feeling is surreal, and I long to share this excitement with Maggie.
It’s been six months since I signed a contract with Grey Talent Group and I’m constantly booked around Illinois. The money is good and I start saving more than I could ever dream of. One afternoon before leaving for a show, Adam calls to tell me he’s got big news and he wants to meet with me as soon as I get back in town.
As I walk into David’s office I see there are several people I’ve never met, sitting and talking. David pulls me in and introduces me to everyone.
“Sam, we have some huge news. You may want to sit down,” David says, handing me a stack of papers to look at. I slowly flip through them. I see words like “Record and Deal” along with names I’ve only heard about, big names. And when I walk out of David’s office four hours later, my life has changed. I have a contract for a record deal and they are planning a tour where I will be opening for some big names. I sit in my car in a daze, not believing what just happened as I slowly read through the venues I’ll be playing; Chicago, Memphis, Birmingham, and Savannah . . . just in the first month. It all seems so unbelievable and I pick up my phone to call my sister, Karen.
As I come downstairs to kiss Ellie goodbye before leaving for work, I can’t help but notice how much she has grown and how much she looks more like Sam each day. I lean down as she looks up at me with her big blue eyes and I kiss her on the forehead.
“Mommy’s leaving for work now,” I say to her. “Be a good girl for Aunt Vi, okay?” She smiles and goes back to playing with her baby doll and I walk into the kitchen to say goodbye to my aunt.
“See you in the morning, sleep well,” I say, hugging her. When I accepted the position in the ER at Georgia Regional Hospital after graduation, I wasn’t prepared to have to work the night shift, but all new grads usually start on nights and if it wasn’t for Aunt Virginia, I wouldn’t know what to do. She has sacrificed so much for Ellie and I. Chasing after a three-year-old isn’t easy, but she says it keeps her busy and she needs the exercise. I always leave the house right after Ellie’s bath. That way Aunt Virginia doesn’t feel like she’s doing everything by herself.
Just as I’m putting my bag in the locker at work, I run into a nurse I work with, Kolby. We’ve become good friends and we often work together. She’s single and she always fixing me up on blind dates; the last one was a nerdy IT guy that works on the computer system here at the hospital. He was a nice guy but we had absolutely nothing in common. I’ve learned over the few months that her success rate at matchmaking sucks.
“Hey, Kolby” I say, clipping my badge onto my scrub top.
“Maggie! Hey, I need to talk to you.” She grabs my arm and pulls me aside.
“Are you working this weekend?” she asks.
“No, I’m off for four days after tonight.” I get a feeling she is wanting to fix me up . . . again.
Kolby jumps up and down and claps her hands. “AWESOME!! Listen, there’s a huge birthday party for Dr. Levine Friday night and you’re coming with me.”
“Okay,” I say. “I’ll go, but I can’t be out too late. I like my days off with Ellie and I want to get up early with her.” I know it will disappoint her if I don’t go. I enjoy our girl’s night out get-togethers, but I’m just not interested in being fixed up with someone. Kolby really means well. I’m not sure why she’s still single. Maybe she so busy trying to fix everyone else up instead of herself.
On the evening of the birthday party, I stand in my closet searching for the white silk top I bought on my last visit home. I hadn’t ever worn it and I had planned to wear it to the birthday party tonight. Feeling frustrated, I go through my closet, but I still can’t find it. I look up and spot my pink bag.
“Maybe I forgot to unpack it,” I say to myself, pulling it down from the closet shelf, but before I can even open it I hear a loud thud followed by a hair-raising scream. I know that cry; it’s Ellie. I run downstairs to find my aunt cradling Ellie in her arms, trying to console her.
“Oh, my God! What happened?” I say, trying to catch my breath.
“She fell off of the back of the sofa, and I came in just as she was diving head first,” she says. I try to look at her head and when Ellie finally calms down, I can see she has a small cut on her forehead. It’s not bad but I think it may need a stitch or two.
“Oh, Ellie, this does not look good,” I say to her as she whimpers.
“I think this is going to need a stitch,” I say to my aunt. “I’ll run her up to work and have one of the doctors look at it.”
Once we get there, Ivy, the triage nurse, hurries us back to a room and calls for Dr. Daylor to look at Ellie’s forehead.
“Hey, Maggie,” he says, walking into the small room. “I hear someone has a boo-boo on her head.” I turn my head and try not to giggle at his attempt at baby talk. Ellie refuses to let him look at it until he hands her a sucker. Dr. Daylor is our newest addition to the ER. Although I don’t really know much about him, we have worked together on several night shifts. He’s tall, blonde, and has a killer smile.
“I really think it will be fine, Maggie. It looks a lot worse than it really is.”
I smile shyly at him, feeling like an overprotective mother. “I guess I panicked. When it’s your own child it’s different.” I thank him and he watches me as I walk towards the exit.
As I’m walking through the parking lot, I hear Dr. Daylor. “Hey, Maggie.” I turn and he’s holding out a piece of paper.
“Here, this is my cell number in case it starts to swell more. Or if you have any concerns. Just text me later and let me know how she is,” he says, patting Ellie on the back.
“Thanks,” I say, looking at his number. “I’ll let you know if there’s a change.” I buc
kle Ellie into her seat and Dr. Daylor watches as I drive away. I look over at my aunt, who smiles and shakes her head.
“Maggie, that is one fine man right there.” I shoot her a look, shocked that she would say such a thing.
“Aunt Virginia! I can’t believe you.” I shake my head, trying not to laugh. But I have to agree with her, he is smokin’ hot.
Later that evening I call Kolby to let her know I’ve decided to stay home. She sounds disappointed but I tell her I would make it up to her next weekend. I look over at the sheet of paper with Dr. Daylor’s number on it as I’m getting ready for bed. I bite my lip as I pick up my phone and text him. It’s just a friendly text to thank him. At least that’s what I tell myself. So why do I have butterflies in my stomach waiting on his reply?
Me: Hi, Dr. Daylor, this is Maggie. I wanted to let you know Ellie is doing fine. And to tell you thanks for taking such good care of her.
Dr. Daylor: You are welcome, Maggie. I’m glad that she’s doing good. Please don’t hesitate to call me if you have any concerns.
Me: Okay, I will let you know, have a good evening.
I crawl under my covers and turn out the light with a stupid grin on my face and just as I’m dozing off, I hear my phone ding.
Dr. Daylor: I’ve been trying to find a way to get your number, now I have it!
Me: Dr. Daylor, if you wanted my number you could have asked.
Dr. Daylor: Oh well, now I don’t have to ask, and you can call me Josh.
And for the next hour we text back and forth. He tells me he’s single, but I knew that. We talk about the long hours he puts in at the hospital and how he loves sushi. By the end of our conversation he knows that I’m a single mom, I hate sushi, but that I love Mexican food. His last text was an invitation to try out the new Mexican restaurant close to the hospital, but I hesitate before I answer him. I’m not sure I’m ready to put myself out in the dating world again, but I see no harm in dinner so I accept.
Two days later I agree to meet Josh at Jalapenos Mexican restaurant a couple of hours before my 7 p.m. shift. He’s funny and very smart. Both are huge turn-ons to me, and we hit it off instantly. I was nervous at first, but he quickly made me feel at ease with his jokes and goofy laugh. I like him.
OVER THE NEXT three months, Josh and I see each other a couple times a week. We try hard to keep our professional and personal lives separate. We decide not to publicize our growing relationship, until one day Kolby notices the small glances we share throughout our shift. I finally had to confess, making her swear to secrecy.
“I knew it!” Kolby shouts, while I’m pulling her into the break room.
“The way he looks at you, it’s easy to see he’s completely falling for you.” I smile at the thought of Josh having feelings for me because I know I have feelings for him. I enjoy spending time with him and he loves Ellie. We work around each other’s schedule so that we can spend as much time together as possible. And even though we’ve had some hot and heavy make out sessions, I’ve been very clear that I’m not ready for more.
One Saturday morning, I’m taken by surprise when I go downstairs to see Josh sitting at the kitchen table, talking and laughing with Aunt Virginia. I can tell by the look on their faces that something is up.
“Hey, what’s going on in here?” When the two of them smile at each other I know they’re keeping a secret.
Josh walks over and stands in front of me. “Go pack, I’m taking you on a vacation,” he says.
I’m stunned and confused. “What? I can’t go on a vacation. I have work and Ellie.”
He shakes his head. “I know what your schedule is. You are off for the next five days.” I look over at my aunt and she winks at me.
“Well, that doesn’t mean I’m prepared to take a trip,” I reply, pouring a glass of orange juice.
I sit next to Ellie and help her with her pancakes. “I can’t leave Ellie,” I say, looking between the two of them.
Josh pulls out three airline tickets and holds them out for me. “Ellie’s going with us; she needs to experience Disney World. We’re going to Orlando and all the plans have been made, so go pack.”
Josh grabs my hand and pulls me towards the stairs. “Now, go pack. We leave in four hours,” he says.
I hurry upstairs to pack and Aunt Virginia follows me.
“Sweetie, I have Ellie’s things already packed. I used your pink bag, and everything she needs is in there,” she says.
She hugs me and hands me the bag and when I lean back to look at her, she winks and says, “Have a little fun, Maggie.”
The three of us board the plane and Ellie quickly falls asleep in the seat between us. I look over and watch Josh as he tucks Ellie’s favorite baby doll under her arm and right then I know my feelings for him have grown even deeper. Early on in our relationship I told Josh about Sam when he questioned why Ellie’s father was not present in her life. He was very understanding and we never discussed it again. I love how Josh is so attentive to Ellie and she has him wrapped around her finger.
The hotel is beautiful and Josh booked a suite with two separate bedrooms. I have mixed feelings as to whether I’m ready to share a bed with Josh. It’s been over three years since I’ve been with a man sexually, since Sam. I am still unsure if I should bring it up or just let things happen, so I decide to follow Josh’s lead.
“How about we go downstairs to the restaurant and grab some dinner?” Josh suggests.
“That sounds wonderful. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day and I think Ellie will fall asleep with no protest,” I say, taking Ellie’s hand and following Josh to the elevator.
That evening we sit in the hotel restaurant and plan for the following day, which park to visit first and how long we would stay. Ellie was tired and ready for bed by the time we finished dinner and I was very anxious about how the sleeping arrangements would go.
After Ellie had her bath, she could barely keep her eyes open. I tuck her in and kiss her on the cheek. “Goodnight, sweet pea,” I say.
“Night, Mommy,” she replies, closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep.
I linger a little bit longer as I watch Ellie sleep. I can feel the nervousness when I take a deep breath and walk into the living area sitting next to Josh.
“Josh, what were your plans for sleeping arrangements?” I ask, curiously.
He turns towards me and tilts his head. “Whatever you’re comfortable with, Maggie.” He reaches over and takes my hand. “I would like for you to sleep in my bed. But if that’s not what you had in mind, I’ll understand.” He kisses me on top of my head.
As I stand looking at myself in the bathroom mirror, I’m at least thankful I packed my sexy PJ’s, I guess you could say deep down I was hopeful that Josh and I would take the next step in our relationship, and now that it’s happening I can’t seem to stop thinking about Sam. Why he’s decided to invade my thoughts now, I have no idea. So I take a deep breath and open the door. Josh is sitting on the edge of the bed, facing me.
“Come here, Maggie,” he says, holding his hand out. “You look amazing.”
“I’m a little nervous, Josh. It’s been a while.” I take his hand.
“Why are you nervous, Maggie? Whatever happens tonight will only happen if you want it to,” he says, easing me back on the bed.
I can feel my entire body tense as Josh brushes his hand over my cheek and down my arm. I concentrate on pushing any thoughts of Sam out of my mind as I focus on Josh and how he makes me feel. Slowly I begin to relax as Josh makes love to me, making every nerve in my body tingle. I feel a hint of guilt as I let go and give in to my desires. As I lie awake listening to Josh’s slow steady breathing, I make a commitment to myself; no more thoughts of Sam, no more holding onto those memories, and no more hoping that one day he will be a part of our lives. Then I slowly drift off to sleep.
Our four days at Disney World fly by. We have been to every park and we’ve met every princess. Josh and Ellie are inseparable and I couldn
’t be happier. By the time we board our flight for home, we are all exhausted. This trip was perfect, everything about it was perfect. For once, in three years, I feel content.
MY FIRST SHIFT back to work after our trip proves to be an exhausting one. I hated leaving Florida’s sunny weather for Savannah’s cold rain and I’m not sure if Savannah has seen this much rain since I’ve been here. The ER is standing room only and with just four nurses and two doctors, we can’t quite seem to catch up. I finally take my first break at 4 a.m. and just as I sit down to have something to eat, my work phone rings. “Maggie, we need you up front now. They’re bringing in multiple victims of a bus rollover.
“I’m on my way,” I reply, jumping up and running towards the main ER entrance.
My heart races when the paramedics begin to bring in patient after patient as we work on triaging their injuries, with the most severe being assessed first. I hear Kolby yelling my name.
“Maggie, I need your help.” I enter the small ER room and on the bed is a white male in his twenties with multiple cuts to his face, arms, and legs. He moans and screams as the four of us try to place him in restraints, while Kolby hooks him up to take his blood pressure. When I begin cutting his clothes off he grabs my scrub jacket and tries to sit up.
“Sir, you need to lie down. I need to take a look at your injuries.” I say, gently pressing on his chest.
“Oh God, it hurts, please just make it stop!” he screams. Kolby gives him something to help him relax. As the meds start to take effect he slowly opens his eyes. I’m frozen; I can’t move because I know those eyes . . . I see them every day. There’s only one other person besides Ellie with those eyes. Sam . . . My God, it’s Sam.