“You’re being a nosy cop,” Melanie said. “Now I’d better go before we ruin a really good night.” She scooted around him and unlocked her door.
Chase’s head popped into her view. He stood in front of her door and looked deep into her eyes. “Just think about it. Maybe those letters are not about you or for you. Maybe they are about her. Maybe your mother hasn’t moved on and she’s the one stuck in the past.”
Melanie raised an eyebrow. “I’ll think about it.”
Chase gave her a quick peck on the cheek. “I know I’m intruding into your life but your mother’s alive. I wish my mother were here. Every day I miss her. It’s been three years and I haven’t missed her any less. I’m glad she’s with God but … I can’t touch her or hold her. I’ll never hear her voice.” His sad eyes moved Melanie’s heart.
“You will again, one day,” Melanie whispered. She sniffed to keep the tears at bay. Chase’s impassioned plea chipped at her resolve. Rhoda had been urging her to mend the bond with Janet. “I didn’t have the kind of relationship with my mother that you had with yours. But, I promise to think about it—no, I’ll pray on it. I’ll let God lead me.”
Chase nodded. “I’ll pray as well. Thanks for not telling me off.”
Melanie bit back a smile. “The thought had crossed my mind but I know you mean well, so …”
Chase tipped her chin and planted a tender kiss on her lips. Melanie ran her fingers in his hair. Desire raged through her as her body remembered Chase’s expertise. It took her several seconds to realize he had ended the kiss.
“I can’t wait until tomorrow so I can call you,” Chase said before rushing off.
Melanie understood his hasty departure. If he stayed any longer, he would be inside her house and in her bed. Melanie wrinkled her nose. She had never disrespected her parents’ home but the temptation of Chase’s kisses was hard to resist.
Caught up in her thoughts, she realized Chase was waving her inside the house. She entered her home, locked the door, and kicked the pumps off her feet. Melanie eyed the envelope on the floor and picked it up.
It’s time.
Melanie nodded. It was time. God was showing her in so many ways and it was time she took heed. She clutched the envelope to her chest and walked into her bedroom. She dropped to her knees and held the letter up to God.
“Lord, give me the strength and wisdom to deal with whatever’s in here. I realize You’re telling me to reach out to my mother. I don’t know why but I’m going to trust You,” Melanie prayed. “Heal Chase’s heart as well, Lord. Thanks for bringing him into my life. I—I leave whatever this is between us in Your hands. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
Melanie yawned and crept into her bed keeping the letter close. Armed with prayer, Melanie would reenter the battlefield of her past. Tomorrow. Tomorrow, she would make the first step toward reuniting with Janet.
A tear slid down her face. Melanie buried her face in the pillow. She realized she was not finished talking to God. “I blame her, Lord. I do. I lost my hearing because of Janet’s alcohol and drug addiction. She let Uncle beat me and I’ll never hear again. I don’t know how to even ... breathe. The pain is so sharp. God help me,” Melanie cried. Chase’s face popped before her and she chuckled. “Lord, what a pushy man. Chase is acting like he’s in love with me. I know love is a strong word. Isn’t it too soon for all that?”
I have loved you from the moment I first knew you.
The verse from Jeremiah 1:5 came back to her. “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee…” Melanie smiled and closed her eyes. How good it felt to be loved by God.
The next morning, Melanie awakened to a calm peace. She made sure to put Janet’s letter in her bag when she left for work. Throughout the day, Melanie’s thoughts wandered to the letter.
It was a busier than usual Friday and Melanie was swamped with appointments and walk-ins. But the letter in her bag plagued her. By the time her work day ended, she had worked herself into a frenzy. Chase had texted her but her mind was too clouded to respond. Besides, a tiny part of her blamed him for barging into her life and making her feel things she was not ready for, yet. Melanie jumped into her car and drove to the dance studio.
She waved at the Hartman’s before entering one of the empty studios. Melanie inserted Tasha Cobb’s Grace CD in the player and chose track 7, Break Every Chain. Yes, this was the perfect song. Melanie needed freedom.
Melanie pushed her body hard as the words flowed through her mind. The vibrations flowed through her and guided her movements. As she twirled and twisted, God spoke to her.
He was ready. Ready to break the chains of the past. All she had to do was let Him. Yes. She could do that. Let God do it. Loose her from the bonds of the past so she could truly love someone. Someone like Chase.
When the song ended. Melanie rejoiced. Her chest heaved as she caught her breath and cooled down. Then she marched to her purse and retrieved the letter.
Melanie slid to the floor and tore open the envelope. She unfolded the paper. Her hands shook and sweat beads lined her upper lip. Janet’s handwriting was a combination of print and script.
Hi, Lainey, it began. It’s been years since she had been ‘Lainey’ to anyone. She kept reading.
This is my 129th letter to you. I can’t tell if you read the others or not but I need somebody to write. This is an extra special day for me. I’m getting baptized tonight. I can hardly believe it. God wants me. At least that’s what Pastor Ferguson keeps saying. He said it so much I started believing him. God’s the only One who wants me anyways. I’m reading my Bible and Pastor Ferguson is real good at explaining scripture to me. It’s nice knowing when I die I have some place better to go.
I sure wish I could see you. I try to imagine what you must look like. My beautiful baby girl. I wonder if you’re married or if you’ve got kids. I love you, Lainey. Even if I never see you, again, I feel good knowing I did one thing right when I had you.
I love you,
Janet King.
Melanie read her mother’s words three more times. She wept every time she read, I try to imagine what you must look like. She wiped her eyes and stood. A visual image of the other 128 letters shoved into her nightstand came into her mind. She had to read the other letters. A thirst filled her being. Melanie stuffed her clothes into her gym bag and rushed out the door.
She made the drive home in record time. Melanie burst through her door and headed for the nightstand. She opened the drawer but it was stuck. There were too many letters in there.
Melanie wiggled it and tugged. She reached her hand into the drawer to pull out the envelopes caught in the groove. Then she pulled the drawer out with all her might. Letters flew all over the carpet and her bed, but Melanie did not care. She plopped the drawer on her bed.
Melanie ran her hands over the envelopes. They would take some time to organize. She shrugged and picked a random letter to read.
Melanie chose one dated February 11, 2014 and read. Then she chose another, and another. Melanie had no idea how long she read until she saw her mother standing by the door that led to her parent’s section of the house.
“Melanie, do you want some chicken noodle soup?” Rhoda signed.
Melanie looked at her watch. She had not eaten since 11 that morning. “I’d love some, Mom. Come in.”
Rhoda strolled inside. She scanned the mess from all the torn envelopes and smiled. “You’re reading Janet’s letters.”
Melanie nodded. “Yes and I wished I had sooner. Janet has earned her GED and she’s taking some classes online. She even told me about a preacher, Pastor Ferguson, who preached to her about God. Janet gave her life to God. She’s sober.”
Rhoda smiled. She spoke and signed, “That’s wonderful news. Maybe God needed her behind bars to save her life.”
“Before reading these letters, I would’ve thought that statement was far-fetched. But, now I know there’s no limiting God.”
“Are you going to write her back
?” Rhoda asked.
Melanie scrunched her nose. “I think so but I want to finish reading her letters. I’ve read about 40 of them and my eyes are burning. My head is so full that I need to process and compose my thoughts.” She tilted her head. “What do I say to the mother I haven’t spoken to in years.”
Rhoda’s face held a tender expression. “I love you. That would be enough for me.”
“Do you think I should see her?” Melanie asked.
Rhoda nodded. “I think you should. But when you’re ready.”
Melanie nodded.
“Come get some soup,” Rhoda said. She stretched a hand. “Your stomach’s growling.”
Melanie patted her stomach and laughed. “Thanks for telling me. What does it sound like?” She remembered when Rhoda had to point out that flatulence had a sound not just a smell and chuckled.
“Like a lion’s roar,” Rhoda said.
Melanie shook her head. She had never heard a lion’s roar.
Rhoda squinted her eyes and tapped her lips. “Like thunder.”
Melanie raised her eyebrows. “I remember the sound of thunder and how loud it was. I guess I’d better eat then.” She sniffed the air. “Hmm… My mouth’s watering.”
“Come, let me fix you a bowl.” Rhoda placed an arm around Melanie’s waist and ushered her into the kitchen.
Melanie plunked into the chair. Rhoda gave Melanie a generous portion of her homemade chicken soup. She used chicken breasts and added pumpkin to flavor the broth. Then Rhoda added dumplings, potato, and corn.
Melanie took a bite and moaned. “This is soooo good, Mom.”
Rhoda wiped her hands on her apron and sat across from Melanie. “What made you decide to read the letters?”
Melanie scooped a spoonful of the broth in her mouth. Some of it dribbled down her chin. She grabbed a napkin. “It’s not what, but who. It was Chase who urged me to read them.”
Rhoda lifted a brow. “Chase?”
Melanie smiled. “The officer who arrested Rachel. We went on a date.”
“You’re dating a cop?” Rhoda asked. She knew all about Melanie’s aversion to officers.
“Chase is different,” she said, before dipping her head to eat more of her soup.
She saw Rhoda’s hand tapping the table and looked up.
“When am I going to meet him?” Rhoda asked.
“Soon,” Melanie said. “We only went out once. I’m not sure …” Melanie trailed off. That was not quite true. “I like him but let me see where it goes.”
Rhoda grinned. “You like him?”
“Chase is saved and he seems to be for real with his love for God.” Melanie gushed. “He’s also a good listener and he’s so … I can’t put it into words, but being around him brightens my day.” Melanie felt her face warm.
She saw Rhoda clapping her hands. “I’m happy for you. It sounds like you’re in love, again. You’re filling me with good news today, Melanie. It feels good to see answered prayers in action. Two out of three isn’t bad. I’ll wait on God to do the rest. Bring your man by for dinner.” Rhoda did a praise dance.
“Love might be a strong word. I just met him.” Melanie ducked her head to hide her face. She knew the truth was in her eyes. But, she was scared. The last man she had brought home was her fiancé. Her head popped up. “Wait. What do you mean by two out of three?”
“You caught that.” Rhoda chuckled. “I’ve been praying for you to open your heart to your mother. I’ve been praying for you to find a man. And … I’ve been praying you’ll return to your real career—dancing.”
Melanie gritted her teeth. “Mom, leave the dancing alone. I’m not leaving Port Charlotte. I do dance. In fact, Pastor asked me to do a special dance next Saturday in church.”
Rhoda nodded. “That’s not enough. Dance is your ministry. Your passion. You’ve got to be all in not just a part-time participant.”
“I’m all into what I’m doing now. Trust me, it’s enough.” Even as she said the words, Melanie knew she was lying.
Her mother knew it, too. Rhoda pursed her lips. “I’ll keep praying.”
Melanie finished her bowl of soup and stood. “You can pray all you want. Don’t mean you’ll get what you ask for.”
“It’s working so far,” Rhoda said.
“I’ve been praying for the opposite.” Melanie held her hands on her hips. “We’ll see who wins the prayer battle.”
Rhoda tapped Melanie’s chin. “You have so much to learn. It’s not a battle if it’s already done.”
19
“Nadine won’t see me or take my calls. It’s been a week and I’m going nuts,” Judd raged.
Chase and Judd exited the precinct Thursday evening, a little after five o’clock. Their shift had just ended.
“Since that picture of me carrying her out of the courthouse hit the Internet, she’s avoided me like I’m contagious,” Judd continued.
“And, she should.” Chase walked in step with Judd. They headed towards Judd’s patrol car.
Judd glared. “What do you mean, she should?”
Chase felt his cell phone vibrate. It was a text from Melanie. Chase and Melanie had a dinner and movie date that evening.
DON’T GET OUT THE CAR. JUST FLASH YOUR LIGHTS.
OK, he texted back, then continued his conversation with Judd.
“You shouldn’t be involved with Nadine and you know it. She’s emotional. Her son was kidnapped and her husband cheated on her. She’s not making rational decisions right now.”
“Nadine is justified. Francis messed around on her first.”
“Adultery is never right. No matter the cause. God’s standards never change. She’s a married woman and off limits,” Chase said.
Judd lowered his eyes. “You’re right. My mother would box my ears if she knew. I’ve never touched a married woman. But, Nadine—”
Chase held a hand up. “No buts. Stay away from her. If you really want to help her, you’ll pray for her.”
Judd nodded. “I’ve been meaning to get back into church.”
Chase smirked. “You’ve been saying that for ages. Waiting on you to come with me to church is like waiting on water to boil.”
Judd lifted a chin. “I tell you what. I’ll be there this Saturday.”
“I’ll believe it when I see it, my friend. In the meantime, cheer up. Watch the game for the both of us tonight.”
“Patriots all the way,” Judd said before opening his car door.
Chase threw a fist in the air. He drove home, showered and changed, then headed over to pick up Melanie.
He flashed the lights a couple times before Melanie stepped outside. Chase’s throat went dry. Melanie was dressed in fitted blue jeans tucked inside thigh high boots. Her black sweater and bedazzled cowboy hat completed her ensemble. Chase would have whistled but he knew she would not hear him.
Melanie walked with the poise of a supermodel.
Chase got out the car to open the passenger door for Melanie. He resisted the corny, “Howdy, partner,” and said, “You look amazing.”
She batted her lashes. “Thank you.” Melanie kissed Chase on the cheek, then got in the car.
Chase ran around to the driver’s side of the car and got in.
“Where are we eating?” she asked. “I’m starving.”
“I was thinking we could go to Carrabba’s. All the movies start at about seven, so we have plenty of time.”
“I love Carrabba’s. Good choice. Let’s get going,” Melanie said.
Chase loved the smell of vanilla wafting up to his nose. He would not mind feasting on her instead.
You need to be feasting on your Bible.
Chase accepted the rebuke and put the car in gear. Once they got to Carrabba’s Italian Grill, Chase and Melanie were seated in a corner by the window. Chase helped Melanie into one of the wooden chairs before taking his own seat.
“It’s pretty scanty in here,” Melanie observed.
Chase looked around. There
were two other couples a few tables down. “All the better. We’ll get served fast.”
A waitress approached. “Welcome to Carrabba’s. I’m Amanda. Can I start you with something to drink and an appetizer?”
“I’ll have water. I’m ready to order, if you are,” Melanie said to Chase.
“I’ll have water as well, and I do know what I want.” Chase smiled at the waitress. “I’ll have the Mezzaluna.”
Amanda nodded then looked at Melanie.
“I’ll have the Fettuccine Carrabba,” Melanie said.
Amanda scribbled their order on her notepad and collected the menus. “I’ll put the order in and I’ll be back with your waters.”
“Somebody is hungry,” Chase teased.
Melanie nodded. “I skipped lunch today. Today was one of those days where everybody, their uncle, and their grandma came in for service.”
Chase laughed.
“Then I went to visit Rachel.”
Chase kept his tone neutral. “How is she doing?”
“She looks awful,” Melanie said. “She’s lost a lot of weight and she was in low spirits. I prayed with her and encouraged her as best I could, but …”
“Jail’s not an easy place,” Chase said as the waitress came with their waters and some complimentary Italian rolls.
“I just wish I could do more to help.” Melanie’s shoulders sagged.
“You are helping. You’re praying for her.” He thought of Judd. “Sometimes, that’s all you can do for your friends. Pray for them and love them.”
Melanie sipped her water. “I read Janet’s letters.”
Chase’s eyes widened. “All of them? That’s great. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“I couldn’t until I finished reading all 129 of them. I wasn’t sure what my next move would be but I’ve decided to visit her. According to Janet’s letters, she’s a changed woman. Mom did a praise dance when I told her. She’s been at me for years to reach out to Janet. She says it’s answered prayer.”
Chase bit into one of the Italian rolls. “I’m glad you’re going to see your biological mother. I was praying about it as well. Where is she?” He knew Janet was not housed in Charlotte County.
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