by Kiki Swinson
“What was so significant about October seventeenth?”
“Nothing. That’s just a date she picked.”
“Damn, that’s a bummer.”
“No, that’s actually good on my part. See, I can’t have a woman in my life I can’t trust. I need to know that you’re gonna be faithful and honest with me. So, if I require that, then I damn sure ain’t gonna have you stealing from me. In my book, stealing from me is like lying, and I can’t deal with it.”
Knowing that Mario was serious as hell about what he was saying got me to wondering how much longer I was going to keep up my lies. I wanted so desperately to open up to him and let him know who I was and what I was really about, but then I figured it was too late. He probably wouldn’t believe me, and on top of that, he might turn my ass over to the police. I would be devastated for sure. So, I guessed the best thing for me to do would be to keep quiet.
Later That Night
I went over to Grandma Hattie’s house like I had promised. She was in the den area watching television when I walked in the house. Carmen, of course, wasn’t there, but Rachael was. She was standing outside on the front porch talking to Rodney. They seemed like they were being civilized to each other, so I just spoke and kept it moving. My main concern was my grandmother anyway so, when I approached her sitting in her favorite chair, I leaned over and hugged her. She smiled and asked me what I was up to.
I took a seat next to her. “I came here to see you,” I told her.
“Oh, that’s so sweet. You are such a sweetheart.”
“Never mind about me. What’s going on with you?”
“Oh, nothing. Just sitting around watching my regular programs.”
“Carmen called me and told me Aunt Sandra stole one hundred dollars from you.”
Grandma Hattie sighed heavily. “Yeah, she found a way to sneak in the bathroom and steal my money when I was taking a shower. But, that’s gon’ be the last time I slip up and let her get me like that.”
I reached into my pocket and pulled out two one-hundred-dollar bills and handed them both to her. Grandma was a little hesitant to take the money from me at first, but when I expressed to her how it would make me feel if she accepted it, she went ahead and took it.
“I’m gon’ hide this money right here in a good spot. Ain’t nobody gon’ find it this time,” she assured me, and stuffed the money inside her bra.
I smiled at her as she tucked her money away. “Have you seen Aunt Sandra since she took your money?”
“No, baby. I probably won’t see her for the next couple of days. Every time she manages to steal money from me she always go in hiding for two or three days, until her money runs out. And then she come back in here smiling like she ain’t did nothing wrong.”
“Does she have a key to the house?”
“No, she doesn’t have one. But she always finds a way to get in here, even when no one is here.”
“Why don’t you get a restraining order against her? She doesn’t deserve to be around you. She is bringing you and everyone in this house down.”
“I know, I know. But she’s still my daughter and I can’t turn my back on her.”
“I understand all of that, but she needs some serious help. And she’s not gonna be able to get any while you are enabling her.”
“You’re right. But, I just don’t know what else to do.”
“You gotta put your foot down, Grandma.”
“I have, but it didn’t work.”
“You gotta stay firm and let her know who’s the boss around here.”
“Baby, I don’t have the energy for all that. I’m just gonna let God deal with it. He ain’t brought me this far to leave me now.”
I sat there and looked at the sincerity in her face. It was apparent that she wanted me to leave the situation alone, so I did.
“Where’s Uncle Reginald? I haven’t seen him since I’ve been here.”
“He’s fine. He was around here earlier fixing my plumbing problem.”
“Does Uncle Reginald know that Aunt Sandra steals from you?”
“I told him a couple of times.”
“How does he feel about that?”
“He doesn’t say much anymore, but he used to fuss about it.”
“How do you feel about Rachael’s boyfriend?”
“Rodney is fine. I just don’t like it when she stays out with him all night.”
“Have you told her how you felt?”
Grandma laughed. “Rachael doesn’t listen to me. She doesn’t listen to anyone in this house, for that matter.”
“Well, she needs to listen to somebody because Rodney is no good for her. Do you know I witnessed her running down behind the police when they started a foot pursuit for her little boyfriend? I couldn’t believe how she put her life in jeopardy for that boy.”
“That ain’t nothing new. She’ll do anything for that boy. I wouldn’t be shocked if she turned against me for him.”
“He got her wrapped around his fingers like that?”
“Yes, he sure does.”
“That’s not healthy. That little boy is bad news. And I can see it just as clear as day.”
“Ain’t no need for you to get all worked up behind Rachael and her mess. She doesn’t listen to nobody and I don’t think she ever will.”
Hearing Grandma Hattie tell me yet another member of the family isn’t going to change made me shut all communication down. It was fruitless to continue going over and over how she could influence them to do better. Unfortunately, she wouldn’t listen, so I threw up my hands. I sat there a little while longer and then told her I had to go. She wanted to know why I was always in a rush to leave her. “You never stay here more than thirty minutes.”
“That’s not true, Grandma. I’ve been here longer than that.”
“I can’t recall when you have.”
I stood to my feet. “All right. The next time I come over here, I promise I will stay longer.”
She stood up beside me. “I guess I’ll walk you to the door.”
“Thanks,” I said, heading toward the front door.
“I heard you got a man in your life. So, all I am going to tell you is to be careful. Because the men around these parts will sweet-talk you right out cha draws and act like they don’t know you the next morning.”
“I ran into a few of those type of men in my younger days.”
“Well then, you know what I’m talking about.”
I smiled at her and said, “Yes, ma’am. I do.”
“You keep your eyes and ears open and come back and see me when you get a chance. But call me first so I can cook you something special.”
“Okay, I will,” I promised.
When I walked outside, Rachael and Rodney had already left. I wanted to say good-bye to Rachael but I guessed she had something else on her agenda. I kissed my grandmother on the cheek and told her I loved her. And she told me she loved me back as quickly as I can turn my head.
When I was leaving the neighborhood, I accidently ran across Sandra standing at the corner of Church Street and Washington Avenue. She was leaning over into the passenger side window of an old model Volvo. She looked a hot mess trying to solicit sex to that White man. From what I could see, he looked like an old-ass man. I figured maybe he couldn’t get a piece of ass from home so he had to resort to tricking with a dope fiend. “Times must be extremely bad for you to stoop to that level,” I murmured to Sandra, though she couldn’t hear. I rode by them and shook my head.
I wanted to surprise Carmen, so I elected to ride past her job. I used the GPS system in the truck to get the directions to IHOP and when I programmed my exact location, it took me straight there.
When I arrived, she was taking care of a couple at their table. She was juggling their food entrées and their condiments while she held a smile on her face. I walked in and had the hostess seat me at a table. “Your waitress will be with you shortly,” she told me.
“Thank you,” I replied, a
nd focused my attention back on Carmen.
Right after she handed the couple their food, she went over to another table and took the orders of two women and one man. They were all young and Black. They looked like they were around the ages of twenty-one to twenty-five. I assumed that they were college kids. But when one of them opened up her mouth, I knew they were straight out of the ghetto. “Do you know that we have been sitting here for about ten minutes waiting for you to take our order?” she said sarcastically.
The other woman laughed. The guy didn’t say a word, but he did try to hush his friend up. “Shhhh,” he said, trying to cover up her mouth.
“Don’t be trying to cover up my mouth. I am grown. I can say anything I want,” she griped.
“I am sorry about the wait, ma’am. But I was held up by trying to handle someone else’s table.”
“I don’t care about that shit! That’s not my problem. I just need someone who’s not going to make me wait a long time and who will give me good service.”
“I know it’s not your problem. But like I said, I had another table I had to handle first.”
“Look, I am not trying to hear that shit! Where is your manager?” she snapped.
“He’s in the back. Would you like to speak with him?”
“I sure will. Because you are in the fucking way.”
Now I had to admit, Carmen really handled herself well. If it were me, I would have cursed that ghetto-ass bitch out. And I would have spit in her fucking face and dared her to get up from the table. I could truly tell that it was hard trying to service the public. Everybody had fucking issues and their attitudes were crazy. I couldn’t deal with it because I would either end up in jail or beat up one.
While Carmen walked away to get the manager, I heard all three of those idiots laughing behind her back. I was getting angrier by the second. I wanted to go and confront the one who was rude to Carmen, but I did not want to cause a scene, because it would have been one. Thank God for common sense, because if I didn’t have any, I would be over there pronto.
About thirty seconds later, Carmen and her manager both walked back to the table. She finally recognized that I was there when she returned to the dining area. I winked at her and signaled for her to come by my table when she was done handling her business. Now when the manager, who was in fact a Black man, approached the hostile customer and her friends, he asked them what the problem was, even though Carmen had already prepped him in the back.
“What is your name?” the customer asked.
“It’s Derrick,” he replied.
“Well, Derrick, the problem is we have been sitting here for about fifteen minutes now and we haven’t gotten our order taken or anything. Everybody else around us got something to drink or their food order and we don’t have anything. And we are extremely upset about that.”
“I am sorry that you are upset. But unfortunately tonight we are short-staffed. Carmen here has to wait on four more tables than she normally works, so if you bear with her, I’m sure she will get your food out as soon as she can.”
“Well, since we waited so long, can we get a discount or something?”
The manager smiled and said, “Yes, you can. Just have Carmen bring your check to me and I will adjust it for you.”
“All right, thank you,” she said.
After Carmen’s manager calmed the lady down, he left Carmen behind to take their orders. Immediately after she did so, she prepared their drink orders and handed their food ticket to the chef. Right after she served them their drinks she raced over to my table with pen and pad in hand. “Can I take your order?”
I smiled. “I am so proud of you. You truly handled yourself well.”
“You heard her?”
“I’m sure everybody heard her, as loud as she was.”
Carmen sighed heavily. “Yoshi, if we were in the streets, I would have beat that bitch down.”
“I’m sure. Because I wanted to come over there and yank her ass out of that chair myself. She was really acting a damn fool over there.”
“Tell me about it. But you know what? I get that shit all the time. Sometimes I let it roll off my back. Other times I be wanting to go upside their head, but I can’t afford to lose my job. And not only that, people are crazy and they’ll try to pull out a gun on your ass and kill you on the fucking spot, and I don’t have time for that.”
“What time do you get off?”
“Two hours from now. Why?”
“I just asked.”
“What are you doing here? Are you trying to order something?”
“No, I just wanted to stop by and see you.”
“Well, you see how I’m doing. The question is, how are you doing? You and your man got married yet?”
I smiled. “Now what kind of question is that? You know I am not into that commitment stuff. He’s all right, though. I am enjoying myself.”
“I bet you are.” Carmen smiled back. “Did you get a chance to stop by the house and see Grandma?”
“Yes, I did.”
“Did you talk to her about the money situation?”
“Yes, and when I gave her the money she hesitated to take it but I shoved it right into her hands. I told her that I wanted her to have it because I didn’t want to see her without.”
“And what did she say?”
“She didn’t say much. We got on the subject of your mother, but you know, she shied away from it. It seems like she doesn’t want to turn her back on your mother. I told her that she’s gonna have to let that situation go because it is tearing her down.”
“Yoshi, you can talk to her until your face turns blue. She ain’t gonna listen to you. She would rather for my mother to sneak into her house and steal her blind than for her to lock her ass out so she can be on the streets. It’s crazy and I don’t even say anything to her about it anymore. I do curse my mother’s ass out when she gets out of pocket. But other than that, I just leave it alone. I’ve got problems of my own, so I will not let no one stress me out about theirs.”
“You can say that again,” I agreed, then changed the subject. “What’s up with your manager? Is he cool?”
“Yeah, he’s all right.”
“Is he cool to work with?”
“Sometimes, when he ain’t on his period.”
I burst into laughter. “What do you mean by that?” I asked.
“I know you noticed that he was gay.”
Shocked, I said, “No, I didn’t.”
“Yeah, girl, he is flaming. So when he has had a good night with his man, he’ll come in and let us do anything we want. But as soon as his man act like a damn fool and does something stupid, he comes in here and starts scratching everybody’s eyes out.”
I chuckled. “Girl, you are so funny.” I took my attention off her because two men came into the restaurant.
The hostess escorted them to their seat, so Carmen looked at me and said, “I’ll be right back. That’s my section they’re in.”
“Okay, take care of your business,” I told her.
I sat back and watched her as she strutted her stuff on over to their table. Both men looked really appealing to the eye—one of them a chocolate color and the other one a light brown. They had to be at least six feet even and from what I could tell they looked like they had nice bodies. I’ve got a real good eye when it comes to sizing a man up while he’s in his clothing. I mastered that technique a while back. They looked to be brothers. And when they spoke to give Carmen their order, I almost melted.
“Can I get the T-bone steak and scrambled eggs?” the chocolate brother asked.
“And what will you have?” Carmen asked the other.
“Give me the steak and cheese omelet with a side of hash browns.”
“Is that it?” She looked at both of them.
“Yes, it is,” they said in unison.
When she walked away from the table, they looked straight at her ass and glued their eyes to it. I laughed to myself because they were
being typical men. But what really tickled me was when they smiled while they were talking about her. So, it was evident that they were saying something good. Once Carmen was done with putting their orders in, she grabbed her other customers’ food and took it to their table. They weren’t acting like damn fools this time. I guess they were happy to finally be able to eat. Afterward, she walked back to my table.
I leaned over and pinched her in her side and said, “I don’t know what those men were saying about you when you walked away from them, but they were watching your big ol’ bootie until you got out of sight.”
Carmen smiled. “That doesn’t surprise me. My butt is kind of phat back there,” she joked.
“Yes, it is. So, you better keep it on lock and key. Remember, these guys around here need to appreciate and treat you good first before you go all out and give up the ass. They need to work for it. So, don’t go back over there and let one of them whisper some bullshit in your ear so he can get your number.”
“I won’t. I don’t have time for a man right now.”
“Good! Keep it that way unless I say different.”
She gave me a high five and said, “That’s right, cousin. I knew you would have my back.”
“You better remember that, too,” I told her, and stood up from the table. “Well, let me get out of here.”
“Where are you about to go?”
“I’m going back over Mario’s house and hang out with him. We might go out and get a bite to eat or something.”
“Well, call me later.”
“I will, sweetheart. Now, you take care,” I told her. I gave her a hug and then exited the restaurant.
I got Mario on the phone and told him that I was on my way.
“Where are you?” he asked.
“I just got on the highway.”
“Have you eaten yet?”
“No, I haven’t. Why?”
“Because I’m at the house whipping you up something special.”
I smiled to myself. “What is it?” I wondered aloud.
“It’s a little something my mother taught me how to cook a long time ago.”