“Don’t you need to be on the command room computers to open the gates?”
“No, because luckily I thought of grabbing this.” Brady zipped open his backpack to display an unusual looking device. Val thought it looked like a stripped down computer. “I took the liberty of removing the hard drive from the server I was working on. Lucky for us it wasn’t in a RAID and I could just pop out the single drive.” His comment met only silence. “I can boot up that server using this device.”
“Brady,” Val had had enough, “enough technical talk. What does all that mean?”
“I mean, all you guys have to do is get the generators online. That will boot up the networking equipment and I can use this computer to open the doors. Then we’re home free. You guys just need to get to the outer doors without getting yourselves killed.”
“Well then why don’t you just come with us?”
“Because I’ve got to stay by a network port so even if the generators are only on for a few minutes we can open the doors. Just trust me. You guys do your part, and I’ll do mine. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be alright.”
∙ • ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙
The two groups split up leaving Brady to go his separate way. If anyone had issues with Brady taking charge, no one displayed it.
Before they reached Colorado Springs, the group had become just large enough for the newest recruits to not interact with everyone. The two soldiers travelling with Val knew of her only because of the recent drama but never interacted directly. “My name is,” one of the soldiers began but Val cut him off.
“I don’t want to hear your names.” Val said pointing her flashlight directly in his face, “Don’t you ever tell me your name! The way this day is going, you’ll be dead in an hour and I don’t want any more memories of you than necessary.” She had been with the company long enough to learn that newcomers had the habit of getting themselves killed. People were always dying and being replaced. Somewhere along the line it had become as commonplace as changing clothes. She barely noticed anymore. The only reason she knew Brady’s name was because he took on such an obvious role in the group.
But then of course, Snipes had been the exception. He became her closest friend. It had seemed like so long since anyone took notice of her beyond mere physical attraction. Hesitantly at first, she responded to his advancements. She refused his flirting and compliments regarding it to be the usual foreplay to lust that came so commonly in the wastelands. Men somehow lost all sense of common courtesy when society collapsed. Val kept a knife neatly tucked away in her boot and had used it against many a man who tried to take her body by force. But as time passed, Snipes proved to be different than the rest. Eventually, she couldn’t seem to help falling in love with him.
Their romance unveiled itself one night when the two drew guard duty together. The Captain became fond of sending two people at a time to do watch because so many merely fell asleep when alone. Val kept her knife close. But under that starry American night sky, something unusual happened. Snipes revealed himself to be a true gentleman of old. They became friends that first night and soon much more.
Val opened up to Snipes in a way she hadn’t to anyone since the infection. But they developed a rocky relationship at best. Snipes discovered her personality to be a divided one riddled in self-hatred and contradictions. In public, she threw herself at him in almost violent fits of passion. But in private, her violent temper flared often and she showed little affection for him. But Snipes, being an enduring man, bore the brunt of her anger. She railed against him with her troubled mind doing everything she could think to make him leave. But despite her awful treatment of him, he loved her all the same. She found this to be a confounding mystery and loved him for it. To her everlasting shame, she could never show it. Try as she might to let his love into her heart, she seemed able only to mistreat and belittle him.
Even now she could recall a conversation they’d had only a few days before he died.
“You deserve someone so much better than me,” Val wailed.
“Val, I love you. None of your sabotage will change that. I’ve been thinking about you over the last few weeks and I’ve concluded that you just can’t be happy. We have a great relationship. Why can’t you just be satisfied with it? Why do you have to try to destroy it?”
“I have secrets,” she almost blurted out. “You have no idea what hell I’ve been through.”
“We all do! We all live in hell now! You do whatever or whomever you have to to survive. I’ve done lots of things I’m not proud of. Your past doesn’t matter to me. I don’t judge you for it. I’ll never bring it up to throw it in your face. When have I ever made you feel lower than me? Val, I accept you for who you are past and all.”
“I need you to know all of it. I want to tell you. But I don’t know how. I want to say ‘I love you’ but I just - can’t.”
“Why not? Why don’t you just say it? What are you afraid of?”
“How can I confide in anyone when you’re all just future corpses?” she said covering her face. “I’ve known so many people and they’ve all gone and gotten themselves killed. Don’t get close to anybody! That way when their brains are splattered all over your shirt, you don’t even care. I hate people.” He started to speak but she cut him off. “Don’t you tell me you’re not getting massacred. You can’t promise that! You could take a bullet in the head tonight. And where does that leave me if I open up to you?” She thought silently for a moment and added, “You’d drop me like a whore if I did anyway.”
“I wouldn’t.”
“You don’t know what I’ve done.”
Snipes sighed seeing she argued in circles and he hadn’t made any progress. “Why don’t you tell me what you’ve done? Write it down on a piece of paper if that’s easier for you. I won’t judge you for it. I bet it wasn’t even your fault. You’re a good person, Val. You’re not a monster.”
They sat together in silence for some time before Val finally continued, “Maybe I can write it down. I’ve never tried to write it down.”
“Well, I wish you would. Maybe that way we can get past this. I love you.” She made no reply but smiled softly.
Over the next few days she painstakingly wrote the letter he requested. But as things turned out, he died before she could give it to him. She left her guilty secrets on a piece of paper on a road just south of downtown Colorado Springs.
Her heart burned inside of her, furious that she had actually tried again to get close to someone. Resolve came over her and she swore again she would never be close to another human being. She would merely cut that part of herself off and do without it.
∙ • ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙
Deep inside the mountain Val and her two companions crawled along the ventilation system for a while until they came to another vent large enough to use as an exit. Val peered through the grate with her flashlight, but couldn’t see anything move. It appeared to be an office with a desk towards the center of the room. Her heart begged her not to leave the safety of the ducts, but she knew they had no choice.
“This looks as good as any. Either of you know the way to the generators?”
“I helped haul them in, but I wouldn’t know where to go from here. If we get close to it, I can probably recognize it. It was on the fifth floor.”
“So we have to go deeper?” the second soldier asked in a worried tone.
“Looks like it,” Val replied somewhat coldly.
Val struggled with the vent until she managed to push the screw holding one of the sides back through its hole. She silently slipped through the opening, dangling for a moment before dropping onto the concrete floor. The other two soon followed.
Val made her way to the door and gently turned the knob. Half expecting there to be a zombie army waiting just outside, she peeked out quickly and then moved back. When her light revealed no one, they opened it and stepped into the hall. The silence of the hallway grated on the soldiers’ nerves. They knew the three of them wou
ld not have the firepower to repel a large attack. The fear of encountering a large group of zombies haunted them. Val expected them to be around every bend.
They snuck their way through the dank corridors making as little noise as possible. They wandered around their current level in search of the stairs down and eventually found it after what seemed like hours. The three found it very easy to get disoriented in the utter darkness. All the dark, cluttered rooms began to meld together. Eventually they came upon the stairs. Half way down to the next level they heard the pattering of rushing footsteps bolting up the steps. In horror the team shot their lights both up and down the metal grate staircase but couldn’t find the approaching foe. The three huddled down in the corner with one soldier watching the stairs up and two on the down. Before the others saw it, the first soldier fired deafening rounds into the newcomer. The bullets sent his body flailing against the wall like an abandoned doll.
“So much for remaining silent,” Val said.
“What was I supposed to do?” the soldier replied angrily.
“Don’t get all touchy, Nancy!” Val mocked. “Just stating a fact.”
About the time they reached the level where they’d find the generators they heard a bloodcurdling howl echoing down the stairwell shaft.
“Let’s move, ladies,” Val ordered.
They flew down the rest of the stairwell and Val carelessly kicked the door to the fifth level wide open.
Once in the hallway, the second soldier recognized the surroundings. “It’s this way. I remember.”
As they progressed, Val slipped behind the two larger men. They ran down the hallway to the right and finally came to stop before a large metal door. The two men helped light Val’s way until all three stood against the door.
“It’s just on the other side,” the soldier announced. “What’s the plan?”
“How should I know?” Val mocked. “Open the door and shoot all the zombies.”
“Shouldn’t-”
“Shut your face and open the door!” Val reached for the door and stepped inside. The two followed mumbling. Inside, Val scanned with her flashlight discovering a crowd of zombies guarding the generators. She knelt down and began firing. As soon as they saw the light, they began their assault. Luckily, they were the slower ones and it took them a significant amount of time to approach. The two soldiers followed in behind wondering at her brazen courage.
The two took up their places beside her and helped attack. Victory seemed imminent until one of the soldiers screamed. Val and the other turned to find a pair of mouths dug into this neck and his abdomen. Val fired off a quick round into the upper foe until he dropped dead while the other soldier killed the second zombie. They found another group of enemies had been lined up against the wall awaiting the team’s entrance. Val took on the rest of the ones by the generator while the two soldiers mopped up the rear. Soon, the room seemed quiet and Val ran up to the generator. She switched it on and to everyone’s great relief the lights flickered on.
The second soldier’s head leaned a little to the bitten side but otherwise he seemed alright. A few more zombies lurked in the corners but were dealt with quickly.
“Brady,” Val spoke into her radio. “Everything is online here. Have you opened the doors?”
“Equipment is still booting up. I’ll be able to do it in a minute. You guys head back here.”
The three soldiers headed for the door. Val went through first but quickly came back out.
She screamed trying to slam the door.
The others did not have time to ask before they saw Val’s feared army of zombies. Before she could close the door, several pushed their arms through. The two soldiers fired through the opening between the door and frame as several zombie hands went limp. Brady made a reply on the radio but none could hear it. When Val finally closed the door, she panted, “Is there another way out of here?”
The others scanned the room. “Lots of doors, but who knows where they go.”
“Anywhere is better than here!”
Two doors broke open on either side of the room and foes started a second assault. Luckily, the three humans dashed past the generator to their desired door and bolted through it like rats leaving a sinking ship. The room behind swelled with the dead.
The hallway came littered with foes. Several zombies haunted its walls but not nearly as many as they left behind them. The humans dodged most and shot the ones impeding their way. As they ran down the hallway, they heard doors on either side of them clicking as if to herald the arrival of more dead. The wounded soldier forgot all his pain and ran with the speed of the others. In a panic, the soldiers tried every door they could until they found an unlocked one. With the wounded and avoided enemies in hot pursuit, the team consistently managed to find unlocked doors just in time.
About then Brady came over the radio, “I’ve closed all the security doors except for the ones between you and the exit. This should keep most of the zombies off your backs and give you a clear path back.” The soldiers did not have the energy to reply. “I’ve opened the external doors so we’re free. Just get up here.”
They came upon the stairs leading up and began their ascent. Round and round they went firing at any occupants already there. All were breathing heavily now and suffering from exhaustion. The stairs came against them like insult to injury mocking their weary legs.
Taking a brief break to catch their breath, they broke out like thieves onto the floor they needed. The mad dash continued with Val leading the way. Out of a dark corner a zombie leapt out tackling Val to the floor. Before she could respond, it dug its teeth deep into her shoulder and scraped at her arm with its dirty fingernails. She wailed and one of the soldiers used his firearm to lodge a few bullets into the zombie’s head. Once it stopped moving, Val sat up again looking at her arm as if in disbelief. Even with the monster killed, she seemed in shock of the bloodied mess that once resembled her shoulder.
“We’ve got to keep moving,” the soldier yelled leaning down to grab her underneath her good shoulder. He yanked her forward onto her feet and they continued their journey to the exit.
Only a few steps from another stairwell, the lights flickered and went out. With the lights out, only their tiny flashlights lit the way. Their grueling pace slowed. The solitude of the mountain wrapped around their hearts again like a strangler’s grasp. Val tripped and before she could regain her footing, the wounded soldier took the lead. He remained in the lead for only few moments before he fell backwards onto his back. When Val shone the light on him, she found a zombie mouth devouring what remained of his face.
She fired the remainder of her clip at the monster but considered it a waste of ammo. As she stood up and continued running after her last companion she dug in her ammo supply and found nothing. Panic ensued until she dug deeper and discovered one last remaining clip.
One of the corpses on the floor sprung to life tearing into the leg of the leader. He lost the lead to Val who stepped around them. “Can’t make it,” Val radioed to Brady. “Come back!” No reply relieved the knots in her stomach.
The wounded soldier did his best to follow but with the gash in his leg, he made poor time. The sidestepped foes had gathered behind them and now collected into a sizeable force. Several faster zombies now joined their ranks. Val heard their horrifying howls and knew she had little hope. The two dashed down the hallway as quickly as they could.
“We must be close,” said the wounded man breathlessly.
Before Val could answer another hideous screech came from just behind them. She pointed her weapon over her shoulder and fired blindly. But with the light pointed backwards, they ran into the utter darkness. Val’s fear overtook her and she abandoned her partner, pushing aside his attempts to cling to her body. Like a drum her heart sounded in her ears drowning out the noise of the approaching death. She thought she heard her companion fall to the villains behind but couldn’t be sure. In her mind, she stood alone against the onslaught.
Time seemed to slow to accommodate her tragedy and she felt every muscle and fiber strain in each step. In her mind’s eye, she saw the horde behind her reaching out like a hideous black hand and in her heart she knew the feel of death’s embrace against her skin. Though she had tried to disown all feelings of any kind since Snipes died, she felt tears roll down her face. Deep inside she knew their source to be not only the terror of her current predicament but a reaction to some unseen force working through this place.
Gasping now like a woman bursting forth from the drowning waters, she struggled to put one foot before the other. At last she could take it no longer and turned her head and empty weapon to peer behind her. The gnarled faces of twisted death eaters greeted her with terrifying expressions. As she tilted her head, it distorted her balance, and she quickly lost her footing.
The last two things to go through her mind were the image of scuffed up combat boots in a very bright light and an overwhelming wonderment at how the sound of ringing metal got so deep inside her head.
Part 3
Madness
Val woke with a start. She sat up wide eyed ready to defend herself against the horrors of the mountain. Their terrible faces haunted the wilderness of her mind and kept her from any meaningful sleep. Before she got the chance to defend herself, her body surrendered to the most soothing aroma she smelled in ages. Her eyes closed again as she inhaled deeply the mystical remembrance of bacon. If this is hell, she thought, this is definitely tolerable.
Her eyes glanced about the room finding it much to her liking. The walls looked as if they were cut straight from the forest. A comfort she hadn’t felt in years washed over her at the calming smell of timber and clean, fresh air. She even ran her fingers along the wall closest to her and felt the rough bark. The windows let in a sparkling brightness full of crisp untainted sunlight.
Sorrow: A Novel Written by Brian Wortley Page 6