Everyone was too frightened to care about where they were headed. They just wanted the horrifying cloud as far away from them as possible. After the initial explosion, most of the cloud disappeared into the night sky. All they could make out was the base lit by the remains of the city burning. Val knew enough to be as afraid of the cloud as the initial burst. With as few stops as possible, they fled south.
When the initial shock wore off, emotions began to soar.
“We’re all dead!” a soldier panicked. “How do we fight someone who has control of nuclear weapons? They’ll kill us wherever we go. We can never gather together. We’ll all die alone!”
“Calm down!” Val yelled.
“We shouldn’t even be in vehicles. They’re probably preparing a second nuclear launch on us right now. They’re watching us!”
“We have radiation poisoning,” another said. “Why else would we all be vomiting?”
“I’m not sure,” Val wanted to give some hope through doubt.
“How do we know? What are the signs?”
“I don’t know!” Val was growing angry.
“Do you think anyone survived,” a feeble voice asked.
“I doubt it,” Val heard herself say without even thinking. She started to grow angry that she had somehow become the source of answers.
They didn’t start feeling at ease until they reached the New Mexico border several hours later. The first real stop they made was for supplies in Raton. Val casually walked by Connor’s vehicle to be sure of his whereabouts. She found him slouched with his head sadly resting on the inside of the door. She dared not inspect him closer to see if he actually slept.
Val motioned for Moses to meet with her at the back of their Humvee while other looked around for supplies.
“You know as well as I do, we can’t have Connor leading us anymore,” she said. “The man’s a monster. If we try to take back control, it could turn into a fight, but there’s no other way. I don’t mind killing Connor’s new hired guns anyway. They’re just as bad.
“Sara is in terrible shape. If she weren’t so beat up, I’d name her leader. She was close to Brady. And I think she may be seeing the future like he did. How else do you explain what happened right before the nuke?”
“I don’t think she would accept leadership.”
“What about you, Moses?”
“I have no desire to lead this group.”
“Why not? You’re a walking brick. Easy to respect.”
“Some men are born for such roles. Others born to uphold such men from the shadows. And I am the latter.”
“But you’re so strong. And I don’t just mean physically. You have a certain character about you. I hope you don’t mind me saying.”
“My strength isn’t for such obvious places.”
“Well, for what it’s worth, I think you’d be an awesome leader.”
Val glanced around as if looking for something. “Come with me,” she said with a glint in her eyes. “I’ve got a plan.” She ran down one of the streets and Moses followed.
She and Moses broke into a squad car they found parked in a nearby parking lot. Val started rummaging around looking for something.
“What are you after?” Moses asked.
“You’ll see,” Val said stopping a moment to tie her hair back. As she did, she found a clump of it in her hand. She immediately fought back emotions desperately trying to hide them from Moses. “Get me a hat,” she ordered. When he returned from a nearby store with one, she had already finished searching the car.
Putting the cap on her head, she said, “It’s not like it really matters. We’re all dead anyway.” She turned to start moving back towards the caravan when she had one more thought. She looked at Moses with fear in her eyes. “You won’t let me die of radiation poisoning will you? I don’t even know what it’s like but I bet it’s awful. If it gets really bad, you put a bullet straight through my head, alright?”
He looked at her solemnly. “If that is your wish, Valerie, I will do it.”
“It doesn’t mean you broke your promise. It’s what I want.” She looked at him and could not help thinking of the differences between him and her husband. “You’re probably the most constant person I know!” She turned again to leave but then came back. “Thank you and not just for this. Thank you for watching over me.” She began to cry. “If these were any other circumstances, I’d say I was being an emotional teenager but it’s the end of the world!” The tears were now coming steadily down. “I love you, Moses!”
Without a word, he came over and embraced her. She all but disappeared in his bear-like hug. “Thank you for watching over me,” she repeated in a whisper.
“It is my pleasure.”
Val and Moses returned to the convoy to find Connor speaking with Sara. Val wasted no time executing her plans. She walked up behind Sara and grabbed one of Sara’s swords. Val then moved casually behind Connor and cruelly kicked his crutch and leg out from under him. As if in slow motion, he fell with arms flailing. A grunt escaped his lips as his face impacted the pavement. As he tried to sit back up, Val placed her foot on the top of his back pinning him to the ground. She then grabbed his hands and slapped handcuffs on him.
“What are you doing?” Connor’s words bounced off the street.
Everyone stood wide-eyed at Val’s actions.
“Lead us now, asshole,” Val yelled into Connor’s ear. He almost responded, but she placed Sara’s blade next to his neck.
“Val,” Sara cried, “what the hell?”
Val sat on Connor’s back and looked up at everyone. “So, who’s going to lead us now?” she asked.
“Apparently you are,” Jordan replied.
“Oh I’m not trying to take control. I just want Connor out. I’ll be damned before I follow him anymore.” Val looked around quickly. “If you’re up for it, Sara, I’d pick you to lead us.”
“A woman?” Jordan protested.
“You got a problem with that, Fat Ass?” Val said raising her weapon a little.
Jordan backed down.
“What do you say, Sara?” Val asked.
“I don’t want to lead,” she replied. “I’m tired and hurt. And all messed up inside.”
“Well,” Val said, “I wasn’t trying to lead, but I can. Anyone opposed?”
Jordan held his tongue and no others disagreed.
“Then it’s decided.”
“Alright, leader,” Jordan said, “how are you going to keep us safe from a second strike?”
“Does anyone know anything about nukes?” Val asked. “Anyone have an idea as to why they haven’t struck again?”
Moses ventured a guess. “It’s possible the blast disrupted their surveillance. Or perhaps they think they murdered us in the first strike.”
“Or they’re just waiting for the radiation to kill us,” Val said a little too loudly.
“Whatever the reason, we haven’t been attacked yet and I’d like to avoid giving away our position. When we must leave the smoky cover, we should use extreme caution.”
Jordan spoke, “So that brings up the obvious question of ‘where do we go now?’”
“Should we even stay together?” another soldier asked.
“I want to try to save Brady,” Val announced. Connor squirmed at this but remained silent. “I miss him and his zombie philosophies.”
“We have no idea where he’s been taken,” Moses replied. “And the thing that took him is-”
“I know,” Val interrupted. “But he would know exactly what to do here. We need his leadership and foresight.”
“Val,” Sara said somberly, “we can’t go after him. It’s not as simple as just getting him back. Even if we miraculously find him, he’s part of them now. Unless we kill every king within miles of him, he’ll try to kill us. They controlled him when the king was miles away. I can’t imagine what he’s like in the presence of one! Have you forgotten? We saw all this first hand.
“Don’t get me wr
ong, I love the idea of saving him. I want him back more than any of you. But what you’re suggesting would be suicide. Even if the nuke hit the zombies too and left only a tenth the force that came against us in Colorado Springs, we couldn't fight them. And that's not even considering the monster that came to take Brady away. Obviously, they must think Brady is pretty important. So I’m sure they have him well protected.”
“Well,” Val replied, “then what do you suggest we do?”
“Before Brady was corrupted, he painted a picture of us all heading east. I think he meant for us to go east. We can’t fight hordes of zombies alone. There was something out there that Brady painted that would give us hope and an advantage.”
“I agree,” Moses said in his deep tone. “East. I respect Sara but also I feel it is our only option.”
“Why do you say that?” Val asked.
“I’ve met many others in my travels and they tell me that the West burns. And this covering of smoke tells us that the South burns. Nuclear waste lies to the north. What other option is there?”
Val thought for a moment. “I suppose you’re right. I’m leader for five minutes and want to march you all straight to your deaths. Sounds like we should head east.”
“What about Mexico or South America?” asked one of the new soldiers. “Shouldn’t we try to get out of the range of their missiles? Let’s find some deserted island.”
“I doubt that is possible,” Moses replied. “It’s very likely Zalac controls the world’s resources. As we have so recently discovered, I am unsure of safety anywhere.”
Val thought out loud, “I definitely underestimated Zalac’s ambition. Maybe we should just dig a hole in the dirt and wait for the end?”
“Perhaps if circumstances were different,” Moses replied, “you’d be correct.”
“Well,” Val announced, “take everything we can use from this place. We’ll stop at the next town to resupply.” She stood up almost forgetting she sat on Connor. “Oh,” she added, “and Connor is to be my prisoner until further notice.”
Val watched as Connor struggled to get back on his foot. “Connor,” she addressed him in a formal voice as if she spoke to a stranger, “do we have any cure left?”
“No,” Connor replied coldly.
“Is there any chance we can manufacture it on the run? What would you need?”
“I’m not sure I could make it without my notes and a lab.”
“And your notes?”
“Gone. But if we find a lab along the way, I can try.”
“Thank you, Connor,” Val closed the discussion in her same formal tone.
∙ ∙ ∙ • ∙ ∙ ∙
As decided, the caravan continued south until they found a major road heading east. One of the men continued to help Sara remove the shrapnel from her skin and as time passed she began to regain her old self. Two of the other soldiers began having a reddish tint to their skin. Unsure of what to do, Val just told them to keep her apprised of the situation.
To try to remain hidden by the smoke, they were forced off larger roads that had been surprisingly uncluttered and forgiving. The company was reduced to using two lane highways. As days passed, their radiation sickness worsened. Sara bore the brunt of it and seemed ever sicker than the rest.
Still under the cover of the clouds, they came to an unknown town along the highway. A mid-western atmosphere seemed to drench the streets. After a small skirmish with the local infected, they stopped to pump out the gas from the station and resupply.
Connor felt like enough time had passed to initiate a conversation. He hobbled over to a nearby playground and waited for the others to join him. While he waited, he noticed a branch on the ground that was large enough to become a walking stick. He did not brave kneeling down to pick it up himself for fear he may not be able to get up again. So he waved everyone over to join him and asked the first person to arrive to pick it up for him.
Val, now feeling angry at everything Connor did, hated that this “prisoner” subtly chose the location for their conversation. She eventually followed begrudgingly and only because everyone else did.
Once all arrived, Connor spoke. “I owe you all an apology. My arrogance has cost the lives of many. I was warned of the consequences of rebuilding a city. When we repelled that invasion, I gained a confidence I should never have had. I have terribly underestimated Zalac. I refused to acknowledge the simple truth: the world was broken long before nuclear bombs fell from the sky. Safety was an illusion centuries before zombies broke into houses dragging off the innocent into the darkness.”
He stood up and made his way to Val falling before her as she sat in her swing. “And most of all, I need your forgiveness.”
“Not here,” she said looking away from him. “Do you have any shred of decency?”
But Connor wouldn’t listen. He began weeping as he put his shackled hands on her leg. “I’m so sorry,” he bellowed as he buried his head in-between her knees. “I’ve hurt you.”
“Get off me!” She said pushing away his head. “You have no idea the shit you’ve done against me and us. You’ve murdered the helpless with your own hand. Your arrogance killed a city of innocent people! You forced Brady to stay in the city where he could be corrupted and captured. He’s gone because of you!
“And when we looked to you for leadership, you dominated us. You broke into Sara's house and burned it! You’re a monster! We would have been better off without you.”
“Everything you’ve said is true.”
Val wasn’t done. “How can you look me in the eye and just ask for forgiveness like that? After all the shit you’ve done, I cannot forgive you!”
Sara stepped closer to Val and addressed her softly, “Val, he’s trying to change.”
“Don’t you dare tell me what to do, Sara! He never forced you into his bed and raped you like an animal!”
Shocked, Sara silently sat back down.
“I don’t know how many times I almost reached for my knife and slit your throat!” Val, red faced and furious, fumed for a moment glaring at him intently.
One of the new fighters from Pueblo leaned over to another to ask, “Do these two always fight in public like this?”
“Pretty much,” the other replied.
Val got up to leave. “Never speak to me directly again. That’s how you can have my forgiveness. Never touch me. Never speak to me. Never look at me. If you try to be leader again, I’ll leave your body rotting in the sun for the dead.”
“Val, I have one leg,” he begged for sympathy as if she were unaware of his missing appendage.
“Damn it, Connor!” Val removed her hat letting a chunk of her hair fall to the ground. “Your arrogance has killed us! We’ve survived the blast only to get killed by the radiation. We live in the wasteland, Connor. We’re going to get hacked up. It’s life now. Be a man for once in your life.”
To this, Connor gave no reply.
“Guys,” another of the soldiers interrupted. “Someone’s coming.”
Everyone turned to see a horse with a mule tied behind him bearing its rider slowly down the main street. As the rider came closer, they realized he was an older man with a several year old beard covering the bulk of his face. He casually bobbed back and forth in the saddle as he approached. He stared at them with an apathetic gaze. His horse stopped in front of them as if the rider had instructed him to halt at all points of interest. The closer he came, the more everyone realized the old man did not stare at them so much as through them. Several turned to see what captivated the man’s gaze but nothing of interest caught their eyes.
“Who are you?” one of the soldiers asked.
Silence.
“What are you looking at?” asked another.
Silence.
Val, realizing the man was asleep, took out her side arm and shot off a round.
At the blast, the man jolted to life almost falling from his perch. His glossy eyes blinked and focused on the present company. He attempted
to speak but produced a drawn-out and awkward rasping sound first. The man brought a canteen to his lips and drank a bit before trying again. His gravelly voice finally uttered words. “Hallo! Where is ya’ll heading?”
“Who are you?” Val ignored his question to ask her own.
“They call me king of the forest. ‘Who’s the king of the forest?’ you ask.”
“I didn’t ask that,” Val quickly responded. “And I’m not in the mood for a riddle!”
“A lion,” one of the soldiers blurted out.
The stranger laughed. “You roping the wind there, hollow britches.” The man’s brow furrowed unsure of the possible meanings of such a nickname. “A bear! So I ask again, on which yonder star do you be a-settin’ yer hopes?”
“Our destination is our own,” Val responded.
“Oh,” the stranger said wobbling his head back and forth not unlike an owl. “I’m a snake-bitten varmit and the poison is swellin’ up my arm and soon will stop my heart. My eyes is getting all glassy balled. But you take back your hand of help, friend! I bite my thumb at you and curses the gods and die. Put my sorry bones by the cow skulls and think of me sometimes.” The man leaned forward in his saddle gazing down at Val like a scowling teacher would a disobedient student. “Take Bear’s help, ma’am.” Val could not remember if she had ever been called that. “Me and the lands is like one soul! I know where the prairie dog holes is with my eyes shut!”
Val glanced back to the group hiding her face from the newcomer. Her trigger finger twitched from not having killed something in the last few hours. She had half a mind to shoot this man without good reason.
“We’re not sure where we’re heading,” Val decided to confess. “Or to which star we’ve hitched the lasso of our wagons or whatever you said.”
“Ah, so ya’ll is a bunch o’ mercenaries then? Seek ye work?”
“No. We’re just heading east.”
“And why is you heading east and not west?”
Val decided to change the subject, “Have you seen any regular humans out here? You know, the non-zombie kind.”
“What’s a zombie?”
Sorrow: A Novel Written by Brian Wortley Page 24