Brady, finding his strength, sat up next to her.
“I don’t know how to love you again after so much suffering!” Sara continued. “You told me this was the only way. Moses was convinced this pain was all for my benefit. But I just can’t help thinking,” Sara started to cry, “I would have rather died than know any of this! All the shrapnel from all the people now embedded in my soul. I come to this, which should be my happy ending, but I find myself unfixable. I have seen too much. You have done your work too well. You made me impenetrable - even to you.”
Brady looked directly at her, taking in her words. When she finished, he launched his own like arrows to strike her assaulting words. “No,” he said with an ironic loving tone. “You believe a lie. I have wielded grief like water. As a river, I have used it to carve out the hardened bedrock of your soul.
“You, my darling, have sat in the shadows far too long. You’ve believed your one of them. But you are alive as few have ever lived. You were right when you said your soul aches and waits to be filled. We will fill it, and you will burst with wonder.”
“How can this be when I can’t forget what I’ve seen?”
A Sleeper beside them offered to take Peace. With Brady’s reassurance, she placed her child in the Sleeper’s arms. Brady reached out and pulled her into himself. She laid against his chest and felt surrounded by his warmth.
“I have seen what you have seen,” Brady said. “You have never suffered alone. I have witnessed our friends die right alongside you. And, in fact, it has gone deeper for me. I murdered them and pressed one into the grindstone of my war until he was dust. And then I reached for another. I have so much blood on my hands! I cannot sleep for I hear their voices crying out at me.
“I say to you the words that no one else could truly say. I know, Sara. I know everything. I understand the full depths of what you’ve suffered.”
Sara, now in tears at his words, reached up and placed her hand on the back of his neck. She saw him. All of him. Revealed like she’d always wanted. She knew his heart to be true. Like a journey of steps she saw his first action leading up to this very moment all encased in love.
“My bastard,” she whispered to him. “My lovely bastard. My heart opens only to you.” She looked on him in such love. “Who do we have but each other? Who could possibly understand us but one another?”
“You have called yourself a whore. But I call you a queen! Can you see how we’ve ushered our kingdom into the world? We are intertwined in love and royalty. We are bonded tighter than any other. I became zombie-kind that I might know you. You became time-walker that you might know me. How great is our union? Even at the depths of our souls, we are bonded.
“It tore me apart to say those things to you! If there were any other way, I would have taken it. I have grieved my words to you and their necessity. But Zalac would not have been convinced without your hatred. And all my plans would have fallen into nothing.”
“I see now your kindness even in that. You proved yourself fond of me even in your hatred. I see in your eyes how you made me believe at first that out of madness you said those hateful things. If I had heard your words and thought they came directly from your uncorrupted mind, I would have died then and there. But you mercifully kept that hidden until the hosts at the hotel. By then, although it was not easy, I had started to walk and could bear that truth better.
“Brady, it amazes me how many facts I hunted out about you. I knew your story from the beginning. Even from the first time you walked. But I understood so little of what I saw. I did not perceive the meaning behind your actions.”
“This was my intention. This the reason of my cryptic speech. That you would not guess our reunion and alert Zalac too soon of my true plans. Your hatred of me coupled with my zealous attempts to capture you sealed my ascent in Zalac. I rose quickly to the top and took full command of their forces. All of that was done so I could subvert their movements, keep them from capturing you, and at the perfect time freeze them that you might escape their fully gathered might.
“As I said before, my actions could not have been done any other way if you were to make it here alive. This path of events I forged through years of searching. They alone brought us together.”
Even as Brady and Sara still spoke, two female Sleepers came and bathed Sara and dressed all her many wounds. When they finished, they placed on her the softest bathrobe she’d ever worn. She paused to soak in the feeling of the smooth material gliding across her skin.
Overwhelmed by his actions, she said, “I didn’t know all this. I saw your actions but could not understand. I watched you rise like a striking viper in Zalac. How you drove their forces against me in the anger of your voice. But I did not understand what you were doing. I was so angry that I was being hurt. Completely blinded by that emotion, I couldn’t recognize how every one of your burning arrows pierced me and yet intentionally missed my vital organs.
“What a strange thing to say you hurt me deeply and yet I see your love even in my wounds! Moses saw this long before I did. He tried to tell me but my heart would not accept it. Back then, I saw only your hatred for me and hated you the same. Will you forgive me?”
“There is nothing to forgive, love. I provoked you into this emotion that your feelings would be genuine. I clouded your sight until now and revealed only enough to keep you going. If anything, I should be asking you for forgiveness. All of this was to bring you through those fires. But you are right when you said I pierced you. For I see my arrows in your skin. I need your forgiveness.”
“I see your heart and know it is true. How can I not forgive you now that I understand?”
Sara looked deeply into his eyes and she opened to him her heart. With the way now opened to him, Brady’s soul collided into Sara’s. Shards of the beautiful explosion rained down on all sides. Like snow it covered the floor, the Sleepers, and most of all, the couple and their baby as if in a blanket of white. As the roots of two great trees, the couple’s heart intertwined and became completely inseparable. She threw herself on him and embraced him fully knowing his heart to be true.
As if in a dream, he stretched the cables attached to his mind and took her into another room filled with the rarest delicacies the world ever offered. She smiled at him and tried to remember the last time she ate. She finally concluded it must have been with Adus before the attack. It seemed like weeks ago. Brady took Peace and Sara watched as the two interacted. Peace’s tiny hand reached up barely able to grasp Brady’s finger. Peace’s eyes, wide and alert, moved back and forth trying to take in all the features of his father’s face.
Sara ate for what seemed like days savoring the beautiful taste. For as long as she could remember she’d eaten primarily gas station snack food to stay alive. A meal of actual substance thrilled her body.
“Zalac kept all this for itself,” Brady said resting back and putting Peace on his chest. “They kidnapped the greatest chefs and stored up food before they released their virus.”
“Who all is still here?”
“Almost no one. Most were killed in the gunfire or the shuttle crash.”
“What gunfire?”
“I made some friends among the soldiers. When the time was right, we staged a bit of a rebellion. I used them to cause a diversion and help seal the inner part of the complex. The blast doors were so thick the guards had no hope of breaking in. And so the Sleepers and I remained here untouched. Only the shuttle crash reopened the passage. Connor’s shuttle killed everyone on the outside and destroyed the turrets. All except for that one missile site that shot down your plane. Connor’s sacrifice - as was so many’s – was perfect. Accomplishing exactly what was needed.
“Are you ready for your ice cream?”
Sara’s eyes grew wide. “I’ve been craving that my whole pregnancy!”
A Sleeper brought in a bowl of chocolate ice cream and placed it before her.
“I don’t think I have room,” she said.
Confused by
this the Sleeper picked up the bowl again to put it away.
Sara latched onto his arm and forced him to lower it again. “But I’ll figure it out,” she said.
The Sleeper walked away very confused. Sara looked up from her bowl to see Peace staring at Brady.
“I think he looks like you,” she said.
Caught up in happiness, Brady just replied, “We have a child! How I’ve missed Evan and Samantha! They were such beautiful people.”
“I’m glad they did not live through these times though,” Sara replied. “I don’t think I could have handled that.”
“Your strength could have accomplished that if needed. It already shielded so many. Two more would have made little difference.
“Look at you,” he said gazing at her. “Altogether different. Your old self would not even recognize you. The world has lashed out and cut you even to the heart. It has robbed from you your life and even your children. And yet you have let the knife into your heart and responded in love. Even in your agony you have reached up to kiss this dying world. Your heart melted before the fires of love.
“This was my great hope. For although I controlled my own decisions and could influence many into making the choices I needed them to make, you remained greatly outside of my control. It was for this reason I made you walk through Peace. That you might save some through your foresight and be exposed to the grief of your race. But I did not know how you would respond. I hoped you would enter those fires and come through for the better. I hoped they would not consume you.
“And look at you! Here you are magnificent in your strength. As I greatly hoped, you allowed the suffering of your race to enter your heart. Like water, it cut canyons into your soul that the ship of peace might have a waterway to sail to you. I had hoped you would bear the highest of character. And even then I underestimated you! Look at you, you woman of women!
“Look at your arm that you gave Val in love! What I so desperately wanted you to see, is in you. Vibrant and alive. The seed I hoped to plant in you I see now like a great oak growing out from your heart. This love you have is obvious.”
“I realized my body is just a tool. A resource to be used. And she made me eat those bitter words. But even as she did, I couldn’t hate her. I saw her and her kind. They were me. They ate and killed for all they knew to do was eat and kill. Just as I hated and judged for it was all I knew. We were puppets - both of us – to the forces that drove us. I had no say in the matter until I became alive. When the cure freed my mind in Colorado Springs, it birthed the thought ‘I don’t have to kill’ and ‘I don’t have to eat.’ After that I just felt sorry for the ones unable to realize that thought. Those slaves of unending desire. For this reason when they tried to murder me, I loved them even then.
“The poison of love has completely killed who I used to be.”
Sara sat softly across from Brady at the table for some time in silence. She looked down and found a pen beside her plate. She took it and scribbled a wobbly and unfinished note[i] upon the tablecloth.
For the first time since arriving, she realized how distant the dying world seemed. She could not remember an earthquake since she entered the complex. It took great effort just to remember the pains she’d experienced.
A Sleeper brought out a dessert wine and Sara sat looking at its deep red complexion in the glass.
“Protocuss, don’t you know I’m nursing?” Sara told him as he started to walk away.
Protocuss reached to remove the glass from the table but Sara grabbed it before he could. Protocuss left confused again.
Sara drank a little of the wine. She had completely forgotten the smooth taste of wine. Just the little she drank settled her into a deep relaxation.
Brady brought over Peace for nursing and when Peace had eaten, Brady helped Sara to her feet. With Brady holding Peace, Brady took her into another room full of thick carpet. There he placed Peace in a little makeshift crib.
Sara watched in awe as the cables coming from Brady’s mind stretched enough to let him reach the far end of the room. There he turned on a stereo. Sweet, soft music filled the room and sank straight into Sara’s heart. Sara could not tell if it was the wine or the relaxation affecting her or if it truly was the most beautiful song she’d ever heard.
Sara looked about the music drenched room. Large couch-like pillows lined one side. The room emanated a cozy, warm feeling just like a military bunker shouldn’t. Before she even realized he moved, Brady knelt before her, gently sat her down on the pillows, and started to massage her feet. The thick shaggy carpet and the intoxicating massage felt bizarre to her naked feet. Her body revolted against the comforting sensations at first. But between the wine, music, and warmth of the room, her body could not resist its lure. She let the beauty of it all soak into her and she started to cry.
As if this were the first time she experienced music, Sara felt enthralled as it sent her to worlds made of peace. Her soul soared upon the notes as they echoed off the walls. She could have listened from the Sydney Opera House and not liked it more. The sway of the music pressed her deeper into the pillows.
Her heart now craved his presence. It seemed almost unbearable to watch him kneeling on the carpet before her.
Sara motioned with her hand for him to join her. “Come up here,” she whispered to him. “Hurry. Come.”
He smiled and joined her on the pillows.
The scent of the incense Brady lit filled the room. Sara felt her weary muscles release. But before she could let herself go entirely, she listened for her child’s heavy, sleepy breathing. When she heard it, she fell into him as if she were a ragdoll. Knowing Brady could watch over Peace and the entirety of the zombie army stumbled around aimlessly half a continent away, she finally let her whole self go. Quiet tears accompanied this new sensation. She shook softly under the release of such weight. Like a dead woman, her head fell against the pillow and her arm went limp. A deep, warm sleep rose around her. As if she were an island, and the sleeping tide came in to swallow more of her, she felt herself disappearing to it. Soon it engulfed all of her and even in her bones, she could feel her body unwind from the horrors it witnessed.
She drifted and woke and drifted again never fully knowing if what happened next was a dream or real. For many systems and constancies of nature she once took for granted no longer performed their duties making it impossible to tell. No more could she find the common landmarks of the passing of time.
She woke as if only in her mind to find the roof of the room torn off. But in a dream-like way, it did not startle her or cause alarm. It seemed altogether the most natural progression of things. The heavens burned through the seeping blood of the stars like flames behind a stained glass window. She stared for what seemed like years wide-eyed at the broken sky without even blinking.
The great fire of the earth burned over the surface of the planet and even came into the complex. Without causing her hurt or alarm the tongues of fire seemed to pass over the very space they inhabited. But it did not burn them or even wake them. As she’d never known before, the flames about her seemed almost peaceful in their destruction. It seemed an altogether fitting end. She thought for a moment that the earth was a groaning consciousness and the flames gave it a long awaited end.
The only tragedy she felt in the flames came upon the fact that they burned Brady’s journal. But even that tragedy did not seem complete for she somehow realized she had committed several of its pages to memory[ii].
Like the terrible silence after the infection hit, there seemed an ironic peace about the devastation. Sara thought years must have passed for the earth strayed deeper into its cosmic collage of colors. The heavenly bodies spun around in dizzying courses like shooting stars in every direction.
Remarkably, Peace still slept soundly through all this breathing in deeply the warm, cozy air. Sara nestled herself in Brady’s embrace and the winter of her grief finally ended. Its passing brought with it great warmth. She felt like she did on those
distant shores in the halls of time wading out into the warm, inviting water. She lost herself entirely in the feeling and drifted in and out of consciousness. Imagining this must be what time feels like to an unmovable rock, she watched as even the concept of time unwound and lost all meaning.
Waking again, she found Brady gently playing with the stubble of her hair.
“I love you,” he whispered.
She hung for a moment unsure if what she experienced was real. “I feel you here,” she whispered. “It’s like you’re all over. Dense. Like the air. I can’t escape you.” She basked a while in the pleasure of the feeling until her mind again began to think.
“Would you tell me two stories?” she asked.
“Of course.”
“First tell me of Zalac. I know the facts of their story, but I want to hear it from your point of view.”
“Well,” Brady began, “it all started in a doctor’s office in the early 80’s. A very successful businessman, named Adam Liechester, received the terminal diagnosis of a rare form of cancer. Pooling all his resources together from his prominent company he fixated on the single purpose of finding a cure. After receiving no hope from any of the world’s leading doctors, he grew increasingly angry and decided to take matters into his own hands. He purchased the loyalty of many of his board members governing his pharmaceutical company and pitched them the idea of massive human testing to find a cure for his disease. Using his charismatic personality, he presented himself as someone who truly wanted the best for humanity. Through this, he gained the approval and support of many. Throughout the mid and late 80’s they started positioning themselves in the US government along with many war-torn countries. Using the vehicle of arms trafficking, they bought the loyalty of foreign governments and began importing victims into the US to conduct tests.
“Once they constructed the Nex, they increased the scope of their research to include any type of subject that interested them. Not for years did they discover the secrets they sought. Almost by chance they discovered that if they over-developed specific parts of the brain, some humans could gain extraordinary abilities. Some could see gravity like lines on the ground. Some could create using only their minds. Others saw the constant progression of time before and after them. Others could influence their cell mates even to the point of mind control and hallucinations.
Sorrow: A Novel Written by Brian Wortley Page 53