“It’s a pretty disgusting story. Are you sure you want to hear it?”
“Well, Ian, you already told me you woke up in your own piss, so…go on.”
Ian takes a deep breath and rolls his shoulders, seemingly preparing for the most emotional part of his story. “I woke up in horrible pain. Probably the worst physical pain I’ve ever felt. It felt like I had been beaten with baseball bats. I was soaked with piss. I had puke in my hair, like caked in. It was all around me where I was laying. The smell made me puke again. I was so sick to my stomach and the light from the passing traffic burnt my eyes. I didn’t know where the hell I was. I was so confused. So lost.”
Grace puts her hand over her mouth and tears once again threaten to choke her.
“All I wanted was you. For you to find me and save me,” he says, staring into her tear-filled eyes.
“I tried to save you, Ian. I tried so hard. I put up with so much of your crap,” she cries.
“I know you…” His voice softens to a whisper. “I know you did. I don’t blame you for not saving me, that’s just how I felt at the time. Anyway, I picked myself up and walked to a gas station that was in the middle of the desert. I sat in that filthy gas station bathroom for hours thinking about my life, all the shit I went through with my dad hurting my mom and us kids, and how I vowed to overcome that.” He shakes his head. “I always swore I would never let the fact that I grew up in an abusive household tear me down. As I sat there and thought about it all, I thought about how worthless my life had become.”
Grace softly rubs her hand over Ian’s knee and up to the middle of his thigh. She has so much sympathy for him that all she wants to do is comfort him.
“My whole life I said I would overcome all the bullshit that I grew up with. I was going to be Ian fucking Taylor, a rock n’ roll star!” he says, raising his voice. “I wasn’t any of that. I was more like my father than I’d ever been. And there I was in that filthy bathroom, not knowing where the hell I was, sick, and in so much pain both physically and mentally. On top of that, I had no cell phone, no car, and no money. All I had was the piss-soaked jeans I washed in the sink, a tore-up flannel shirt, and a pair of stinky tennis shoes that had holes in them. It was the absolute lowest point in my life. I was giving the key to the bathroom back to the clerk and I saw a postcard that said ‘Welcome to Las Vegas.’ It totally blew my mind. I had no recollection of how I got there.” Ian shakes his head and closes his eyes.
Not knowing what to say, Grace remains silent.
“I just started walking. I could see the city in the distance with all its flashing lights. As I walked and walked, my mind became clearer and my body became soberer.”
Grace is sad that she was not there for Ian. A rush of guilt clings onto her heart because he was lost and she never tried to find him. Her beautiful Ian was so lost to the world. So alone. “What happened next?” Grace asks, as she sees agony spread over Ian’s entire face.
“I gave up.” He stares, his face emotionless, an expression that went from torment to nothing in a matter of seconds.
“What do you mean that you gave up?”
“I decided that my shitty life wasn’t worth living anymore.”
Grace lets out a gasp, “No, Ian! No!”
Ian grabs Grace’s hand and places it in his, their warmth bringing her little comfort after what she just heard. “I walked up onto the I-15 on-ramp with no hesitations, no doubts. I was just praying a car would run me over and end it all.”
Overwhelmed with sadness, she cries, “Ian. No! Why? Why would you do that?” she demands in a frantic tone.
“It didn’t end that way. Obviously, I’m sitting here.” He grabs her arm with one hand and rubs his hand over it with the other.
Tears pour out of her eyes. Hearing his tale now, Grace realizes that during the worst moments of his life, all she had thought about was what he had done to her and what she had lost. Too selfishly wrapped up in her own pain, she never once considered the immense toll his addiction had on his soul or that he would try to end his life.
“But I did get hit,” Ian continues.
“Oh, my gosh!”
“I woke up in a hospital bed covered in bandages, with a broken arm, broken ribs, and nurses fluttering all around me. They said I had woken up a week before, but that I didn’t remember who I was. I had no ID so they called me John Doe. I had been at the hospital for over three weeks. When I woke up, I woke up without the need that had been consuming me for so long. I was sober. The doctors didn’t trust that I was though, so they recommended rehab and I went voluntarily. At that point, I wanted all the help I could get. There’s something about waking to the name John Doe that kicked me in the butt to get my life back together and rediscover who Ian Taylor was meant to be.”
Grace stares at Ian, her eyes growing wider and wider with every word he speaks.
“I don’t know if it was the drugs they gave me in the hospital, being in rehab and not being able to get high, or all that thinking I did, but I changed. I felt like myself again, except there was a big chunk of me missing. That piece was you.”
Tiny sobs escape from Grace as she listens to the rest of Ian’s story. The thought that she was warm and safe and sound at her brother James’s house while Ian was lost to the world plague her mind. Ian was on the streets nearly dying while Grace lay comfortable and cozy in her old bed.
Ian’s shoulders drop and he leans back against the sofa. “I’ve wanted to tell you this for so long.”
“What happend when you left rehab?”
“They released me and there was a shelter they connected me with. I met this really cool dude, George, who sponsored me and gave me enough money to get back to L.A. He wasn’t supposed to, but I guess he kinda felt bad for me. My only goal from the moment that I opened my eyes in that hospital was to find you. To forgive you for what you did with Jaden and to beg you to forgive me for what I did. I just wanted us to be us again. I showed up on Jaden’s doorstep one day—”
“He didn’t even tell me.” Grace sobs. “And I asked him, Ian. I asked him all the time if he heard from you.”
“He didn’t tell me he knew where you were either and he knew I was searching for you.” Ian takes his gaze off Grace and his eyes trail over the loft, landing on the piano that sits in the corner. “We’re not exactly okay, Jaden and I,” he says, still staring at the piano. “I just found the shoebox a couple weeks ago. Of course, I questioned him immediately, if you want to call it that. It was more like an interrogation with a few really good punches to the face. I asked him how he could keep you from me when he knew I was looking for you. I went to your brother’s house. I wrote you letters all the time, tried to call you, and Jaden knew all of it! He never said a fucking word!” The veins in his reddened neck pop out, as if trying to break free.
Grace shakes her head. It was one thing to learn that her brother had betrayed her years ago by keeping Ian’s letters from her. Hearing again, that Jaden, her best friend, was also in on the scheme to keep her and Ian apart crumbles her emotions. She erupts into sobs again. She has bottled up so many emotions for years and the one person who can drag those emotions out of her sits across from her now, raking them out of her soul.
Ian reaches for her face and wipes her tears away with his thumbs while holding her face in his hands. “I didn’t come here to make you cry, Gracie. I’m sorry.”
“You’re silly if you thought that telling me all this wouldn’t make me cry. I just don’t understand why they lied to us.”
“They?” Ian questions, raising his eyebrow.
“My brother,” she whispers, and then she clears her throat. “He burnt all your letters. When he finally confessed that you came to the house looking for me, it was too late. He didn’t get your number and I found out a week after you left. You were just gone and I had no way to find you,” Grace says, her voice trembling. She teeters on the edge of a breakdown, but does her best to hold herself together.
Ia
n grabs her hands and holds them tightly. “We were deceived for whatever reasons they had to keep us apart. It’s a fucking malicious thing to do. I’m so pissed at Jaden that I can’t even talk to him or look at him. He had no right to keep you from me!”
“I can’t talk to him either. He is one of my best friends and I can’t even bear to think of his voice.”
Ian huffs. “Best friend my ass! He is supposed to be my best friend, too. I usually talk to him every day, Grace. I just moved out of his house.” Ian’s rage becomes more apparent. “He never said one word about where you were or that you were even still talking. He lied. He flat out lied when I asked him where you were. It was always, ‘No man, I don’t have any idea.’ If I didn’t stumble upon his sick, little shoebox shrine, I might not have ever found you.”
Ian pulls on her hands drawing her body to his, but Grace rips her hands away from him. “No, Ian!”
He immediately releases her and backs away. “I’m sorry. I didn’t come here for that,” he says.
“What did you come here for? What did you think coming here would accomplish?”
“I told you. I came to tell you how sorry I am and that I loved you. That all those years, I looked for you. I didn’t want you spending the rest of your life thinking that I just gave up on us. Now we’re older, wiser, and living new lives. You look happy, I’m happy, things are good for me, but I needed the closure so that I could let go of all this pent-up bullshit.”
“I guess I can see what you mean,” she sighs, bowing her head to stare at the sofa. “Hearing what you’ve said has brought me some type of closure, I suppose.” Grace can barely speak. Her throat closes up, her jaw trembles and her entire body shakes.
Ian puts a hand on each of Grace’s shoulders and pulls her to him.
“Gracie,” he whispers. “It’s okay. Everything is going to be okay.”
He pulls her body up against his and wraps his warm arms around her, instantly comforting her and making her feel at home. Her head rests against his chest and she breathes in his familiar scent.
“This is going to be good for us,” he says. “This is going to help us let go.”
“I did let go!” she cries, “Until I saw you the other day, I pushed it away. I refused to think of you. Of Jaden. Of Eddie.”
“Eddie?”
“Eddie is my ex. We broke up about a year ago. The point is, Ian, I don’t think about love anymore. I don’t believe in love anymore.”
Ian pulls Grace away from his chest and holds her firmly by her upper arms. “You can never give up on love, Grace. You’re too good for that. You’re meant to be loved. You deserve to be loved.”
“No, I don’t,” she mutters. “Every time I fall in love it ends up horribly.”
“You’re just falling in love with the wrong guys, Gracie,” he says sweetly with a sly, sexy smile crossing his lips.
His mouth moves closer to hers and she can feel his warm breath brush across her face. She gulps and takes a deep breath.
“You were the best thing that ever happened to me. Even to this day, you are the most loving, sweetest, caring girl I have ever been with and I cherish those times with you.”
Grace releases herself from Ian’s hold and scoots back to her side of the couch. She stares at him. He’s so beautiful. She continues to stare as his deep breaths make his muscular chest rise and fall. She wants to kiss him, on that chest, his mouth, everywhere. She hates that Ian can just walk into her life unexpectedly and stir up a whole slew of emotions. Sexual, hurtful, lustful, sad, heartbreaking feelings. The stabbing pain of her broken heart, all resurfaces.
“Are you mad at me?”
She shakes her head and the corner of her mouth reaches into a wicked smile.
Chapter 3
Before Ian knows what hits him, Grace pounces on top of him. She madly kisses his neck and his earlobes, as her hands thrash at his chest trying to remove his shirt.
“No, Grace. We can’t do this. You’re too upset. This isn’t why I came over.”
“I don’t care why you came over. This is what’s happening,” she says, and she sucks on his neck.
Ian can barely breathe. “I wasn’t trying to get you in bed. I just wanted to talk.”
She tears at his jeans, scratching and clawing at the zipper. She pulls his jeans down and he lets her against his better judgment. Her frail emotions are evident. “I want you, Ian. I want you so bad. I miss you,” she whines.
“I miss you too, baby.” The words slip out.
Grace whips Ian’s shirt over his head and kisses his chest. His head falls backward as heavy, deep gasps come from his lips. No other woman has ever made him feel like this. The power she has over him is incredible. No one but her causes him to lose control. Grace is mad for him, her mouth sucking and biting all the way down to his firm erection. She slides her hands into the slit in his boxers and with a rapid movement, she rips them off.
“No, Gracie,” he pants.
“Why? Why did you come here? Why even bother? If you didn’t want this, then why?”
Her hand whisks across his face and his skin stings from the blow he knows he deserves. Positioning each of her legs on either side of him, she straddles him. He is helpless between her legs when she smacks him in the face again. She pulls her tank top over her head revealing her voluptuous breasts. These are not the same breasts he remembered from their teenage years. They are fuller and perfectly set on her chest. Her nipples are pink, ripe, and waiting for him. He wants nothing more than to have them in his mouth.
Grace raises her hand to smack him again, tears flowing from her eyes, and Ian quickly grabs both of her wrists preventing her from whacking him. Ian knows he can overpower her, there is no doubt he is physically stronger, but she has already won the emotional match between them.
“Stop that!” he tells her.
With her tiny wrists still in his hands, she leans into him and roughly places her mouth on his. His hands move to her back and push her closer.
Grace pulls back, breaking away from their kiss. She pulls his hair, causing Ian’s neck to fall back. “I hate you!” she cries. “I hate you so much!” With tears trickling down her beautiful face, she leans in, with her lips inches away from his, the battle she is having with her own feelings plays out on her face. With her lips so close to his, he can almost hear her begging herself not to kiss him. She whimpers, “I hate you, Ian.”
“Well, I still love you, Gracie.” Giving in, he pulls her naked torso to him. Her breasts rub against his warm chest. The sensation of her nipples rubbing on his bare skin makes him ache.
Wetness seeps through her panties and dampness teases the tip of his penis. When she slides her fingers between her legs, moistens them, and then rubs them over his erection, he almost loses himself. He knows that she is in a fragile, emotional state, but his need for her prevails any logical thoughts. With every touch of her delicate fingers, the worry slips further and further away until he is lost in ecstasy.
Grace lifts her body up and Ian slides her panties to the side, giving him an entryway. Taking a firm grip, she slides him inside of her. She bears down on him and moves her body in time with his.
The moment he enters her, he loses himself to her. All the old feelings and love for her resurfaces in a way he could have never imagined. He has carried around this love since he was seventeen years old and it built inside of him like a raging inferno. Grabbing her ass, he thrusts her deeper inside of him. Her hot, wet warmth surrounds him as he fills her up.
Grace rises up, comes down on him hard, then rises up again and thrusts down harder. She lands on his chest with a thud that takes both of their breath away. Her bottom moves up and down with him, with each of his strong hands holding tightly to a cheek. Ian grabs her by the hair, twists it around in his hand, and turns her head to the side. Opening his mouth he covers her mouth with his, their tongues collide in a passionate kiss.
“No one has ever kissed me the way you do,” she breathes in
to his open mouth.
With every slide of their wet tongues, he becomes harder inside of her. Just as quickly as it began, the two of them erupt into one of the most intense orgasms they have ever had in their lives.
They lie on the couch, trying to catch their breath. Grace rests on Ian’s body, their hair soaking wet from sweat. Ian cannot keep his hands off her. The sensation of her skin on his is something he has missed. His fingertips graze her back and slide down her ass. Placing his lips on her head, he lets them linger there for a moment while he silently thanks God for bringing her back into his life.
While lying together, neither utters a word. Finally, Ian pushes up from the couch, which causes Grace to sit up. He stands naked in front of her, staring down into her wide, green eyes. His hand falls over his chest and he smiles. Grace’s breasts are perky and her body has developed into extremely sexy curves. Every inch of her is perfection. He bends down and scoops her into his arms. Carrying her across the loft, he searches for her room. She extends her arm and points to the partition that disguises her bedroom. With the gentlest of movements, Ian takes care in lying Grace on her bed.
He bends down and kisses her on her forehead, then stands and stares at her. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, Grace Hathaway.”
When her cheeks turn pink, his heart melts. It still amazes him how striking her bright, green eyes are. He runs a hand over her face and slides it under her chin, lifting her head just a little, so that he can get a better look at her pure skin.
She smiles, and he places his hand over his heart. “You’re killin’ me with that smile.”
She giggles. “Why do you keep grabbing at your chest?”
“Because I feel like my heart is going to beat right out of it every time I look into those gorgeous eyes of yours.”
She smiles again, and it really does feel like his chest will explode.
“Lay down, baby,” he says. He crawls into bed with her and wraps his naked body around hers. His fingers softly move the hair from the crook of her neck and he places sweet kisses there and trails them down her shoulders. He pulls her tighter. No matter how close she is, it just does not seem like it is close enough. Grace wiggles her bottom up against Ian, and it feels so right to have her in his arms again. His love for her overcomes him, as they both drift off into a deep sleep.
The Falling of Grace (The Falling Series Book 2) Page 4