“I just want to go home. I need a shower. I need to clear my head.”
“I’ll go get Jaden.”
Neither Jaden nor Michelle give Grace the I-told-you-so speech on the drive home. Grace knows that nothing they can say will change what has happened. Since Grace does not feel like talking either, the ride home is a quiet one. Grace stares at the bandages that cling to her wrists focusing on the crimson blot that has seeped through one of them. She outlines the small, dried blood splotch with her finger and shivers when Sean’s blurred face oozes into her thoughts. Her mind clouds with confusion. What was I thinking? What the hell was I thinking?
Grace lifts her head and when she turns to look at him, Jaden’s eyes are on her instead of the road. His eyebrows are creased and his eyes pour out concern.
“Do you want me to drive?” Michelle asks when Jaden swerves.
Grace lowers her head again, plagued with guilt. Feelings of regret, sorrow, and embarrassment threaten to eat her alive. My life is an absolute mess, she thinks as once again, her eyes turn to the gauze wrapped around her wrist.
After the thirty-minute drive from the city, Jaden pulls up in front of his home. He shifts the truck into park and jumps out. He stands next to the passenger side before Grace has her seatbelt unlatched. He opens the door and Grace takes her time swinging her body around, her legs dangling from the side of the truck. Jaden emanates nothing but care and concern for her while he stands there, patiently waiting for her to step down.
“Here,” he says, reaching his hand out to take hers.
“Thanks.” The weakness in her tone only conveys half of the pain she is in, both physically and emotionally. She forces a smile on her face despite how she feels inside. She is aware that she has put both her sister and Jaden through hell tonight and does not want to worry them any more than they already have.
Michelle takes Grace by her upper arm and Jaden latches his arm with her other one. They walk her up the stairs and somehow their care makes her feel more helpless than she already does. Jaden lets go of Grace’s arm and fumbles with unlocking the front door. Grace steps inside after him, and takes a deep breath through her nose, inhaling the scent of home. There was a point during her horrendous ordeal where she thought she was never going to set foot in this old house again. Before walking up the stairs to her room, Grace stares at Jaden and Michelle, who stand just inside the front door, staring back. “I’m sorry,” Grace whispers.
“You don’t need to be sorry,” Jaden says. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”
Grace lowers her head, ashamed, and the tears pour out of her eyes. Michelle rushes over to her and cradles her in her arms. Brushing her fingers through Grace’s hair, she repeats, “It’s okay sweetie. You’re going to be okay.”
Grace falls apart in her sister’s arms as uncontrollable, heaving sobs charge from her trembling lips. Jaden gently pulls Michelle away from Grace and lifts her into his arms. He carries her up the stairs as she buries her head into the crook of his neck. Grace can hardly breathe through her cries. Wrapping her arm around Jaden’s neck, she lifts her head and looks at Michelle, one step behind them. The tears that now flow down her sister’s face crumble Grace’s emotions. Jaden kicks the bedroom door open and crosses the threshold, walks to the bed, and sets Grace down. Every muscle in her body, useless and weak. “I need a shower,” Grace says, as she stands.
“I’ll get you a clean towel,” Jaden says, not looking into Grace’s eyes as he rushes out of the room. He is back in the room a few seconds later, his eyes still focused on the floor.
“Thanks.” Grace hurries to the bathroom.
The clothes do not seem to come off fast enough as she rips them from her sore body. When the water pours over her body, it does not do much to relieve her of the feeling that Sean is all over her. She pours soap onto a loofah and scrubs every inch of her body. Salty tears mix with the scolding hot water. After scrubbing her body numerous times, she hangs the sponge back on the shower rack and then steadies herself with her palms on the tiled shower walls. Sean’s face torments her every time she closes her eyes. She howls as the fear and realization of the night’s events crash over her. Stepping away from the wall, she lowers herself onto the porcelain floor. She draws her knees up to her chest and cradles her legs close to her, rocking back and forth with every cry.
The water has turned cold and her skin waterlogged when the knock on the door tears her away from revisiting the scene in the motel room.
“You okay in there, sugar?”
Grace stands and turns the water off, grabs the towel from the rack, and wipes her tears away. “I’m fine. I’ll be out in a minute.”
When she opens the bathroom door, Jaden is perched up against the wall, his head resting against it, eyes closed.
“I’m done.”
“Oh, hey, umm, do you need anything? Want a water or something?”
“Maybe some hot tea?”
“I can do that.” Before he turns to walk down the stairs, his eyes meet hers and she can feel his pain.
“I’m okay. I promise, please don’t worry about me.”
Jaden approaches her and glides the back of his hand across her wet cheek. “I could never stop worrying about you, shug.”
Grace leans into his hand and closes her eyes. No matter how frightening this night has been, the touch of his skin comforts her.
“Go get dressed and by the time you’re done I’ll have that tea.”
Grace smiles and walks to the room.
“You can go to sleep,” she says when she finds Michelle sitting on the bed.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No. Not tonight. I just want to drink some tea and go to bed.”
Michelle stands and turns to make Grace’s bed then turns to face her. “Here, love,” Michelle says, as she walks over to Grace’s suitcase and pulls out some clothes. Grace sits on the edge of the bed, in her towel, droplets of water falling from her hair.
“Can I do anything?”
“No, Missy, I’m okay. Jaden is making me tea.” Grace sighs.
“You must be so worn out.”
Grace nods. “I’m such an idiot.”
Michelle does not disagree, and her eyes tell Grace that she agrees with her whole-heartedly. “I can’t begin to imagine what’s going on in that pretty head of yours. I’m just glad you’re okay. I don’t think now is the time to come down on yourself, though. You just need to try to relax. Get some rest and start fresh tomorrow.”
Shame overcomes Grace as she thinks about the many poor choices she has made over the past couple of weeks. She has no idea who she is anymore or why she chose the path that led her to Sean and the horrifying circumstances that came with meeting a man like him.
“Let’s get you dressed.”
Grace tilts her head to the side so that she can look around Michelle’s body and spots Jaden standing with his back to them. His stiff body and bowed head show the stress she has put him under, without her even seeing the look on his face.
Michelle pulls a tank top over Grace’s head and helps her step into a fresh pair of panties. “You can turn around,” Michelle says, resting her hand on Jaden’s back.
Jaden turns and locks eyes with Grace again. His smile is forced, but gentle and nonjudgmental. “Here’s your tea.”
The cup warms her cold hands and the hot liquid runs down her throat heating the pit of her stomach. “This is really good. Thank you.”
“Do you need anything else?” he asks.
Grace shakes her head as she takes in more of the tea. She finishes half of the cup before her body protests her sitting up any longer.
Grace lies on the bed and Michelle covers her with the blankets. She tucks the blankets around Grace’s body by nestling her hands under her. Jaden turns to face Michelle, his eyes filled with tears. Grace did not think it was possible for the broken pieces of her heart to shatter as well, but in this moment, they do. Jaden walks to the bed and then crawl
s in with Grace, wrapping his arms around her as she breaks into a hysterical shriek. Michelle inches her way in with them and wraps her arms around Jaden, her fingertips resting on Grace’s side.
“It’s going to be okay,” Michelle whispers. “Everything is going to be okay.”
~ ~ ~
Ian wasted no time when he arrived in Paris and had his driver take him directly to Grace’s loft. A blend of dread and eagerness consumed him as he rode the elevator up to Grace’s floor. After sitting at the door for hours, all of those emotions leave him, as he realizes no one is home. He checks his phone for the time and huffs. The bones in his bottom ache from sitting on the hard floor. He tries to call her number, hoping that the disconnection message would not play again, but it does. It’s still early, he thinks, pulling his legs close to his chest so he has a place to rest his head. She could be working. Maybe I should go to the gallery or Michelle’s place. He checks his phone again for the time, feeling like a half hour has passed, but only a few minutes have. He decides to wait for another hour to see if Grace comes home, and then he will try the gallery, followed by Michelle’s. An hour goes by and still no Grace. Ian picks himself up from the floor, stretches, and heads off to the gallery.
“Sophie?” Ian asks, after finding her in the corner of the gallery.
“May I help you?” Recognition settles on her face from when he purchased Grace’s paintings a few weeks earlier. “Oh monsieur, how can I help you?”
Ian smiles. “I was wondering…Grace, have you seen her? I’m her friend from America.”
“Grace, no, no, monsieur, I have not seen her in a few weeks.”
“She hasn’t been in to bring you more work or pick up her commission?”
“No, monsieur. Not since June I believe.”
“Thank you for your time. If you do see her, can you do me a favor and don’t mention I was looking for her. I want to surprise her.”
Sophie smiles, but Ian can see in her eyes that she would tell Grace in a flat second.
Ian walks out onto the street and takes a deep breath. He pulls cigarettes out of his pocket and places one in his mouth. I need a drink. He needs something to ease his anxiety. He opts to check at the loft again to see if Grace has come home yet. After waiting in front of Grace’s door for another forty-five minutes, he chooses to try Michelle’s place. Not knowing what kind of reaction he will get from her, he dreads the encounter during the entire walk to her building.
Preparing himself, he straightens up and knocks on Michelle’s door. Nothing. He knocks again. Nothing. Maybe they’re all out together? After knocking so much that it brings out Michelle’s neighbor, Ian concludes that Michelle and François are not home either. Fatigue and jet lag take their toll on him and he decides to head to his hotel and go back to Grace’s first thing in the morning. If he knows her well, which he thinks he does, if she is not at home, she will be at the café.
~ ~ ~
The next morning, Grace wakes to the sound of Jaden’s voice. “Is she okay?”
“I think so,” Michelle whispers.
“I’m okay,” Grace says.
Michelle gets out of bed and goes to the restroom, leaving Jaden and Grace alone. Jaden takes a seat on the bed and hands Grace a bunch of wildflowers.
“Thank you,” she says noticing that her voice still sounds wounded.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I’m okay.”
“Are you sure?”
Grace scoots up into a sitting position. “I’ll be okay.”
“You’re not planning on going out tonight are you?”
“No, Jaden. I think I’ve learned my lesson.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“Yeah, you did and it’s okay. I’m okay. I’m not self-destructive Grace anymore. I’m never doing anything stupid like that again.”
Jaden’s tight expression grows slack and she knows that he is relieved. Grace runs her fingers through her hair and closes her eyes. Exhaustion spreads like waves over her aching body.
“Are you hungry?”
“Not really. Actually, I think I just want to go back to sleep for a while.”
Jaden reaches out for the flowers. “I’ll put these in water for you.”
Grace smiles. “I love you, Jaden. I’m sorry I’ve put you through all this crap.”
“I’m sorry that I couldn’t help you. I’m sorry I caused this to happen.”
“You didn’t. Ian did this.”
“If I would’ve told you and Ian the truth…maybe none of this would’ve happened.”
The mention of Ian’s name strikes her. It has been hours since the thought of him tormented her mind. “We don’t know that, but I swear to God, Jaden, if you ever lie to me again…I don’t know how I’ll ever forgive you.”
“I won’t. I promise.”
Grace lies back down and rests her hand on Jaden’s arm. She brushes her fingers over his skin as her eyes become heavy and close.
For the rest of the day, the house remains eerily quiet. Talking about what happened is something Grace has no desire to do, which is the same for eating. She is aware of the fact that Jaden and Michelle try to leave her alone; however they hover over her in silence almost the whole day, peeking their heads into the bedroom every hour on the hour. All Grace is up to doing is sleeping. If she is not sleeping, she is just lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about everything that has happened. When she slept, the nightmares came, visions of what Sean could have done and of what he did. Every time a dream woke her, Michelle was there to comfort her and help her get back to sleep. All the emotions she has been bottling up over Ian and the trauma of what happened with Sean intoxicate her soul.
The tap on the bedroom door pulls Grace out of reliving the dreadful memory of running for her life. “Come in.”
“Jaden made dinner,” Michelle says, as she walks to the edge of the bed. “You should eat, honey. You haven’t eaten all day.”
“Yeah, I’m starving.”
The look of relief on Michelle’s face brings a sense of understanding to Grace. She knows that she does not have the best track record when it comes to picking up the pieces after her heart is broken and she is sure that Michelle is more worried than she needs to be. Grace throws the covers off and sits up. “Let’s go see what he concocted.”
Michelle smiles. “It smells good,” she says with apprehension.
After dinner, Grace excuses herself, insisting that she will be fine. A deep need to talk to Ian and tell him what happened has prodded her since she sat down at the table to eat. She flops onto her bed with her cell phone in her hand, looking at it for a few minutes before she presses the button to call him. The phone rings three times before it goes to voicemail. “Hey, you’ve got my voicemail. Ya know what to do.” The sound of his voice warms her heart, but at the same time fills her with regret for calling him. Grace does not leave a message. Setting the phone down on the nightstand, she silently promises herself that she will not try to call him again.
A few hours later, Michelle walks into Grace’s dark room, careful not to make too much noise.
“Grace?” she whispers.
“I’m up.”
Michelle crawls into bed with her and lays her head on Grace’s shoulder.
“Are you okay?”
“I think so.”
“I’m so sorry this happened to you,” Michelle lays her head on Grace’s arm and throws her arm over her stomach.
“Me, too.” Grace swallows hard, sucks in a large breath and blows it out slowly. “Let’s go visit James.”
“That sounds like a fantastic idea!” Michelle pops up. “Maybe going home will help you to get your head back in the right frame of mind.”
“I need to see him. I just feel like I need to surround myself with the people I know I can count on.”
Michelle snuggles back onto Grace’s arm. “Do you want to fly?”
“I’d like to drive up the coast. I haven’t done that in ye
ars.”
“Sister road-trip. Just what the doctor ordered.”
Grace leans her head onto Michelle’s, closes her eyes, and they both drift off to sleep.
The next day, Jaden walks Grace and Michelle to the car parked outside of the rental car office, their bags weighing him down.
“I’m going to miss you, sugar. I hate to see you go, but I understand,” Jaden says with his eyes focused on Grace’s.
Michelle walks to the back of the car and arranges the bags in the trunk.
“I’m going to miss you, too,” Grace says as she throws her arms around Jaden’s neck.
Jaden pulls her body close to his and hugs her tightly.
“I don’t want you thinking this was your fault, Jaden.”
“I can’t help thinking that I failed you,” he says, pulling away from her and staring into her eyes once more.
“Ian did this to me and Sean was a crazy asshole. There’s no one but us to blame for this. It’s not your fault. Stop feeling guilty,” she says, as she places her hand on Jaden’s face. Grace runs her finger down the middle of his crooked nose. She loves his adorable imperfection. Tapping the edge of his nose, she smiles.
“I should’ve locked you in your room or something,” he says, obviously forcing a smile.
Grace laughs and then gives him a halfhearted smile. “I’ll be okay.”
“I know you will. You always are.”
Grace hugs Jaden once more and kisses him on his cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” His voice filled with so much sorrow and sincerity, she can hardly stand to walk away and leave him standing there.
Michelle flops her arm around Jaden’s shoulders and pulls him to her. “I’m going to miss you, too.”
Jaden sweeps her into his arms. “You, too, sweetie. Thank you for dropping everything and coming to help me.”
“Anything for the two of you. Of course, I wasn’t much help.”
“You did plenty, Missy.”
Grace watches Jaden go in for another hug. His eyes close as he holds Michelle tightly up against his body and to see the two of them embrace, fills her heart with a joy that has been absent for weeks.
The Falling of Grace (The Falling Series Book 2) Page 16