Secret Obsession

by Olivia Linden

"Ain't that the truth." Finn chuckled as he sipped his drink.

  "Holy cow!"

  "Ok. You've got my attention. Go on."

  "Look," Buck said as he gazed at the door in a trance. Finn frowned. What the heck was wrong with his friend? He looked over towards the door and his jaw dropped, too.

  Raven stood in the doorway looking for him, dressed up like a cowgirl from head to toe. He almost did a double take. She was always gorgeous in his eyes, but this was something else. And judging by the smile on her face, she'd done it just for him. All he could do was gawk as she sauntered towards him. A black Stetson hat covered her curls and matched her trendy boots. A pair of daisy dukes, the kind where the pockets hung lower than the hem, showcased her dancer's legs. At that moment he wished they were back home so he could tumble her into his bed and show her how much he liked her outfit.

  "Hey boys." She waved at Buck as she squeezed into the empty stool between them. Buck took of his hat and held it to his chest as he continued to ogle her.

  "Well hello, darlin'. Look at you."

  "Do I look okay? I wanted to fit in this time."

  "Oh you're looking' mighty fine," Buck replied.

  "What do you think, Finn?"

  He cleared his throat. "Mighty fine."

  "Aww, thanks."

  Finn was so hard for her that it didn't register or matter that she had most of the men in the bar checking her out, or that Buck hadn't stopped staring at her breasts. He put up three fingers to order a round as Randy came over to add his own set of compliments.

  "Now what do we have here? Lookin' lovely Miss Raven."

  "Thank you, Randy. I thought I'd take a page out of your book."

  "Honey, my book don't have nothing that lovely in it," he replied with a wink. He slid two beers and one soda across the counter, bowed in front of Raven and went to tend customers at the other end of the bar.

  "You look amazing," Finn whispered in her ear. His lips grazed her skin for a few seconds before he pulled away. He was surprised at his restraint. Raven shot him a sly smile as she sipped her drink.

  As the three sat at the bar trading bad jokes and chitchat, a small crowd of friends grew around them. Finn was born and raised in Dusty Springs and had a few life long pals. Buck was the closest, but he'd been on the football team in high school and that notoriety stuck long after in a small town like theirs. He paid rapt attention to the way his friends treated Raven. In general, everyone was nice, if not curious. A few of the girls eventually pulling her out on the dance floor.

  Finn watched as they danced around to the music. Raven tried to be demure, but eventually she came alive and became the vivacious woman that he'd first been captivated by as she moved her body with abandon. Soon people weren't dancing, they were watching her too. A couple of the girls begging her to show them how to do certain moves.

  "She's something else. That's for sure."

  Finn hadn't realized that Buck was standing next to him. He was so engrossed with watching Raven. She seemed to always have his full attention. Except when he was out on the ranch. He made a noncommittal shrug as if he hadn't noticed.

  "Huh. No big deal to you?"

  "Yeah, she is something special. What else am I s'posed to say?"

  "So then you won't mind if I dance with her?"

  Yes, I fuckin' mind!

  Of course he couldn’t say that. Instead he tried to project a casual air as he nodded in her direction, giving Buck his consent.

  "I'm thinking you've got to ask her first, but knock yourself out."

  Even though jealousy was biting his balls, Finn knew he didn't have anything to worry about. Raven wasn't into Buck, and there was nothing wrong with a little dancing. At least that's what he told himself. But when he watched his friend approach her and lead her further onto the dance floor, he had second thoughts.

  He wanted to be the one to hold her close. To revel in her sweet scent, and feel her womanly curves settle against him. With all the sneaking around, he hadn't been able to do some of the things he wanted to do. Like taking her out to a nice dinner, or walking down the street holding her hand. Not even lounging on the couch together and arguing over who would control the remote. But he was standing by watching her dance with someone else, another thing that he hadn't done, and he couldn't take it anymore.

  He tapped Buck on the shoulder.

  "May I cut in?"

  "Figured as much," Buck mumbled as he moved aside to make room for Finn.

  "Thanks."

  Finn didn't acknowledge the smart remark. He didn't care. All he could focus on was holding Raven in his arms. She gave him a knowing grin, stepping forward as he slid one around her waist and pressed his palm into her back to guide her closer.

  "Hi."

  "Hi."

  "I feel like you’re turning me into a stalker."

  "You've been a stalker since I met you." She gave him a pointed look, but amusement twinkled in her eyes.

  "You have a point," he conceded.

  "Do you enjoy watching me?"

  "Damn, girl. I enjoy anything that has to do with you."

  "Obsessive, stalker tendencies. Should I be concerned?"

  Finn laughed. "I don't know. Try to get rid of me and see what happens."

  They both laughed, but Finn thought he saw a flicker of concern flash in Raven's eyes.

  "I was jealous," he admitted.

  "Jealous? Why?"

  "Because Buck got to dance with you before I did. I hate not being able to do what I want with you."

  She sighed and rested her head on his shoulders. The song playing was about a man that just wanted a woman's time. He could relate. He wanted to push the issue, but he didn't want to ruin the moment. Instead, he held her close.

  "I think Buck knows."

  "You're not really discreet Finn."

  "Am I really that bad?"

  She raised her head to look him in the eyes. "Yes. You are. Don't get me wrong, I love feeling your eyes on me, but I think everyone else notices it too. A few of the girls asked if we were together. I laughed it off, said you were being nice to me since I didn't have any friends."

  "It's sort of the truth."

  "What?”

  He laughed at her incredulous expression. "I'm joking. Take it easy."

  "Whatever." Her tone was sassy, but she had a smile on her face when she leaned against his shoulder. He placed his head on top of hers. If anyone was watching them, they might have looked very comfortable with each other, but it was a slow song so dancing close was expected. Lowering his head closer to her ears he began to whisper to her.

  "Damn, I can't wait to get you home."

  "Is that so?"

  "Yeah. I have the sudden urge to lick your pussy until you scream."

  "Finn!"

  "And then I want you to ride me. Nice and slow. Push your tits in my face so I can taste those pretty nipples. Suck them until you come."

  "Really?" She feigned shock, but her body pressed that much closer to his as he continued his dirty talk.

  "Then, I'll flip you over. I love hearing you moan my name while I'm looking down at your pussy milking my cock."

  She raised an eyebrow. "Let's go."

  Before Raven knew it, the summer was winding up to a close and she had some decisions to make. When she left Pennsylvania, she had left the option to go back open ended. Just like she told her father, taking the extra classes at the local community college would give her enough credits to make up for the classes she dropped. She was ready to enroll into her senior year for the fall semester. Now she had to choose. Go back to Pennsylvania, or stay in Texas.

  Her father approached her with the question sooner than she was prepared to answer it.

  That afternoon Harry asked her to cut out of work early so they could have dinner together. Just them. Finn had driven Dorothy to Austin to see his aunt who was still in the office, and they would be gone for a few days. She spent the hours leading up to their date destroying her manicur
e and bouncing her leg nervously against her chair leg. Not even the monotony of filing could calm her nerves. She was quite sure what he wanted to discuss, but she was certain it wasn't anything she wanted to.

  She was packing up her workstation when Doug propped himself on the edge of her desk.

  "Hey, Ray."

  "That would be Raven." It wasn't the first time she'd corrected him on that. The only people who were allowed to call her Ray were her father and Finn.

  "I thought that was your nickname?"

  "It is. For my father."

  "And Finn Walters."

  Raven stopped shuffling the papers on her desk and glared at him.

  "Excuse me?"

  "I thought it was a name that close friends could call you. Aren't you two, close?"

  "I don't know what you're talking about Doug. Was there something I could help you with?"

  Doug chuckled, a fake sinister sound that made Raven bristle with annoyance and trepidation. Why was he talking about Finn? She wanted to ask a million questions, but didn't want to do it and have her father walk in on them.

  "Well, since you're always too busy for lunch I wanted to ask you to dinner. Unless you're seeing someone."

  Her stomach dropped, after it did a few flips and dips. She began to feel lightheaded. Doug was trying to make trouble for her. But she wasn't going to let him blackmail her into a date that would never happen.

  "No thanks, Doug. Whether I'm seeing someone or not isn't any of your business. I'm not interested."

  "Well are you seeing someone?"

  "It's none of your business. How’s your girlfriend?"

  "Because I saw you and Finn at the Dust Lady and it kinda looked like you two were more than 'friends'. If you know what I mean."

  "Doug, I would prefer if you didn't discuss–"

  "I don't mean to step on Finn's toes, I figured I could show you around town and it might help our working situation if we hung out."

  Raven felt like she was in a nightmare. Doug had cut her off and raised his voice because at that moment, her father was walking out of his office into their work area. He wanted to make sure Harry knew what they were discussing. She was so angry she felt like bursting into tears. After punching Doug in the nuts, of course.

  "Is everything all right out here?"

  Her father's tone was dead serious as he glared from Doug to her and back.

  "I was just –"

  "Doug was just being stubborn and not taking no for an answer. I've been in town long enough and don't need any help finding my way around."

  Raven forced a smile as sweet as a bee-infested honeycomb. She didn't care if it looked genuine. She wanted Doug to shut up and was prepared to have him lose his job if that's what it took. Her father frowned but didn't speak on it.

  "Raven, get your things and meet me outside."

  He left without saying a word to Doug. Raven jumped up like her seat was filled with hot coals and rounded on Doug.

  "How dare you. You have no right to bring up my personal business. I don't owe you a damn thing, but I will make sure you never set foot in this office again if you fuck with me!"

  "Calm down, little girl. I know for a fact that your father probably doesn't know that you’re banging your stepbrother, and I know you don't want him to find out. So you might want to try being nicer to me."

  "Go straight to hell, Doug."

  She snatched up her purse and stormed out of the office. Her father was already in his truck waiting on her in front of their little office building. He watched her closely as she approached the vehicle and got in.

  "What was that about?"

  "Sorry, dad, but Doug is an idiot. I don't vibe with him."

  "So I see. What was he talking about when I walked out? Does he know Finn?"

  She sighed. "It's a small town. Doesn't everyone know everyone?"

  "When did he see you and Finn together?"

  Raven felt like screaming with anxiety and frustration.

  "Probably when you told me to try and befriend him. Remember we hung out that weekend?"

  "Oh. Right."

  That wasn't good. That was his answer when he was tabling an issue for another time. Raven spent the entire ride trying to figure out how to cover her tracks if need be. As much as she hated lying to her father, she didn't want him finding out what she had been up to all summer. Not that way. He didn't say another word until they arrived at the dinner and were seated. Then he didn't waste a second getting to the point.

  "Have you decided what you want to do about school?"

  "I have been trying to decide if I want to go back up north or enroll at the University of Austin. I've grown to like Dusty Springs and the ranch. Plus, I'd get to see you more often."

  "And? What did you decide?"

  She took a sip of her water in an attempt to tamp down her tattered emotions. She was terrified at the direction their conversation might take.

  "Um, I haven't yet."

  Harry frowned.

  "Raven. It's the end of summer. Don't you think you've had enough time? I don't care where you chose, but you're going back to school. Working in my office was a temporary thing, and there's no reason for you to be hanging out at the ranch with nothing to do. Is there?"

  The 'is there' was very suggestive, not harsh, but Raven saw the warning in her father's eyes.

  "No sir. There isn't."

  "Good. I know you're smarter than that."

  By some stroke of luck, their waitress approached at that moment to serve them water and take their order. All Raven had to do was smile as her father ordered their usual, but all she wanted to do was burst into tears.

  After their food arrived they ate and chatted like normal. Raven tried her best to act like she was okay, maybe a little distracted with the school situation. Between her father and the incident with Doug, she knew this town was too small for her secret. Finn had been right. They would be exposed. That was something she wasn’t prepared to deal with.

  So when her father offered his suggestion and help in a certain direction, she was all ears. The last thing she wanted to do was disappoint him. She would go to school in Austin. She’d be gone, but still close enough for him to visit her. She felt better about her school situation, but how was she going to explain things to Finn?

  Finn had never been happier to be home. He hated hospitals, ever since his father passed away, and his aunt's condition wasn't improving. His mother decided to stay a few more days and Harry agreed to pick her up over the weekend. So he jumped in his truck and hauled ass back to Dusty Springs.

  Back to Raven.

  He missed her something awful. It was during his long drive home that he decided what they needed to do. He felt like an ass for not suggesting it when they first admitted that it was more than sex between them.

  The house was empty when he arrived home at 6:00pm. He parked his truck on the side of the house closest to the back door. It wasn't unusual for Harry to stay at work some nights until 8:00. That came with being the owner of a business. There were some nights that Finn didn't get in until 9:00pm on a trying day. The quiet hit him like a ton of bricks when he walked inside. He was used to his mother always being in the kitchen and fussing over dinner.

  He went directly to his side of the house. It was just as dark and quiet and he smiled. Raven loved to take naps at the most random times. Since they had the house to themselves for a little while, he wanted to get in a quickie. The door to her room was ajar which was her sign that he should come in and say hi.

  Not only was it quiet, but it was also empty. The room was void of all her girly accessories and personal effects from school. It looked as it had they day before she moved in. Finn walked further inside and turned around in a full circle. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. She didn't answer his call when he tried to contact her.

  "What the hell is going on?"

  He didn't care that he was talking to himself, or that no one was there to answer him. He did car
e to know why Raven wasn't there, and why she was gone with out a word. The thought that she would leave him without saying goodbye was stabbing him in the gut like a serrated sword. Each time he thought it, he felt himself die a little more inside. He would never have expected that from her.

  But the fact was that she was gone. And she hadn't said goodbye.

  After walking the room in a semi daze, he couldn't stand to be in there anymore. He walked through the bathroom and into his bedroom, half-heartedly hoping she was waiting for him there. That he had been an ass for thinking she wouldn’t leave him.

  His room was just as empty. He looked out his window to confirm that the little red Mazda was not parked in its usual spot. He called her again, and again she didn't pick up.

  Finn hadn't cried since his father's burial. There had been plenty of rough moments over the years that followed. Times where he missed his dad so bad he couldn't breathe. Nights when his mother cried herself to sleep over their loss. Times he was so angry for loosing someone he loved so much so soon.

  The moment he realized Raven was gone rivaled all those moments. He refused to cry, but he felt like his legs wouldn't hold him up much longer. Everything suddenly felt wrong. The hat on his head itched. His boots felt too tight. His clothes felt like they were constricting around him. Flashes of memories began to assault him. A glimpse of her smile. The way she hugged him after a long day. Her goofy giggles that she tried to stifle. Her smell. Her kiss.

  Finn squeezed his eyes shut. All his clothes were ripped off as he headed for the shower. A cold shower was all he could bring himself to do. He needed something to jolt his system because he was becoming numb with anger and rage. How could she do this to him? He knew things could go wrong, terribly wrong for them. But he never expected that one day she would just not be there. No warning, no nothing.